StarGaze

Insanity Is Reality

While Thomas's team was on one side of an Afghani city trying to find out who the golden masked man was, on the other side of the city, Thomas was fighting with Amanda, on something that was over months ago. It is horrifying what loneliness can do to you. But he had to be alone, to save the world.

“Just sit down and calm yourself. Then I’ll tell you everything.” Amanda said, taken aback by Thomas’ behavior.

“I’m calm. I’m always calm. I need to know or I’m leaving.” Thomas said, frowning.

“Go then. What’s stopping you? And do tell me, where do you plan to go?” Amanda fired back.

She expected that he would cool down on hearing this and she’ll be in charge. But Thomas was smart. After all, he had more experience than any person alive.

“That’s none of your business. I would rather be among strangers than with someone who lied to me. Don’t follow me!” Thomas said and walked out of the flat towards the apartment lift.

Amanda stood there for some time. All of a sudden, she realized something and walked up to the lift. The door was almost closed and Thomas was looking down at the floor. Amanda blocked the closing door with her hand and stood in front of him. Thomas didn’t say anything, he just looked into her eyes. He wanted to yell and curse. But her eyes incapacitated him. The deepness of those brown eyes was drowning him. Then, slowly the distance vanished and the dim light and the dead silence witnessed their first kiss. It was pure, with no selfishness or lies. It was one of nature’s best gifts to mankind- impulse.

The drive of the moment made Thomas forget everything; his duty, his plans, his hate, the lies she told him, everything. For the first time in decades, he just wanted to live in the moment.

“Stay,” Amanda said after they finally separated after a few seconds. Thomas didn’t argue.

After ten minutes, Thomas was sitting on the couch, cursing himself. He knew he couldn’t love anyone, not because he was not capable, but because of the reason that even a slight affection to anyone from him either brought them death or heartbreak when he left. Then why couldn’t he tell this to Amanda? But of course, she already knows it. Still, she is willing to take the risk. Then again, she’s only a kid whereas he is far mature. He must understand.

But he can’t. One look at Amanda’s face, only one look, and he forget all of his logic. Finally, he decided to leave it up to fate. If she’s willing to set her life on fire for him, who is he to stop her?

 After a moment of hesitation, he grabbed her hands from behind and whispered in her ear.

“My immortality has taught me that you don’t need centuries to really live, you just need a moment. For decades, I was lost; torturing and killing people, sometimes guilty and sometimes innocent. I was alive but not really living. I had no fear of death because I didn’t have a reason to live. But now I’m afraid, and I love it. Let’s not ruin today for what might happen tomorrow. Hold my hand and take over the moment with me.” Thomas said.

Amanda trembled and a teardrop fell on Thomas’ hand. She turned around, the lights faded and the darkness witnessed how love changed the monster into a man.

“Wait, why don’t I feel your lips?” Thomas asked suddenly.

“Because you ripped my head off, remember?” Amanda said slowly.

“What? But we just had the best moment ever!” Thomas said in confusion.

“No, you just deluded your brain into reliving your best moment ever. You, Thomas, have gone insane. And you are hiding inside the memories that have the strongest influence on you. Like meeting Veda for the first time and kissing me.

So you see, none of this is real. This is just your hell loop, playing over and over again. You could get out whenever you want, but your guilt and mental weakness won’t let you.” Amanda said vanished.

Thomas looked around the cold empty room.

“This is not possible. This can’t be happening to me!” Thomas said and shivered in terror.

“Ready for your speech, Mr. Thomas?” Nova said and called Thomas on the stage.

And suddenly, Thomas was calm again. He knew what he had to do. To make the people of Redland follow him, he just had to light the spark inside them.

And so the loop began again, and you could only wonder where Thomas would end up.