Your Love is Killing Me ~ BxB

Part 17

I spend almost one hour in bathroom. Jerking myself off a few times before I finally manage to will my hardness down. Damn it. I should have known better than to jump him on our first time alone. Like I have thought earlier, it requires some -no, a LOT of- patience from me if I really want to bang that a$s. Then why didn't you just give him that damn time, you William f*cking moron? s**t. I hope I didn't scare him away. Not after I've come this far and gained his trust.

I feel my heart sinks as I walk out of the bathroom and find Louis is nowhere to be seen. I look around my bedroom. Still in the same state as I left it, except for the bed sheet. It's been neatly straightened now. I mean, shouldn't it be a bit crumpled after our little make-out session? Did Louis tidy it? Then it come to my notice that his glass of milkshake is gone as well. Wait, could he be-?

I stop wondering and stride out of the bedroom. I know this feels like gambling but maybe, just maybe, he is still here sipping his drink somewhere in this house. Probably downstairs, somewhere quiet. Maybe he couldn't just make a dash for the front door and run home. Whichever, just... don't go.

I search through the living area, the foyer and even the garage, but still I can't find him. Has he really gone? Has he taken back all the trust he gave me and thrown it out of the window? Have I really messed everything up?

"F*ck!"

A loud crashing sound echoes as I mess the ornament table by the living room with one swift movement of my hand and send all of my mother's China plates down to crumble on the floor. Do I look desperate? I don't think so. But, yes, I'm upset. Very upset that I'm considering to just drag him back here and tie him to my bed. With or without his consent. Even though it means I should disregard my principle to never take any boys by force.

"Master Young?" She rushes from the kitchen to see what happened. "Are you-"

"Get lost!" I snap harshly without looking at her direction.

"Y-yes, Sir." I hear her stepping away. Leaving me alone with the mess and silence.

"William?"

That voice. Could that be? I turn around a little bit too fast to look for the source and find Louis standing nervously by the door way. Without wasting any second, I rush over to him and pull him into a tight hug. Tighter than ever before. As if I could easily lose him at any moment if we part.

He lets out a small whimper. Signaling me to loosen the hug. But I keep it still, ignoring his probably still aching bruise on his chest, until he struggles to free himself. "What's wrong, William?" He asks as I let him go. His eyes are heavy with worry.

"I thought you're gone."

"What? I'm not." His eyes widen from surprise. "Did you create that mess just because you thought I was gone?" He points at the scattered shards of porcelain on the floor.

I nod. Not that I don't care about those China plates, they are my mother's collection. But currently, I just feel relieved to find him here right before me. Does that mean he still trusts me? After I did 'that'? After I disgrace him by treating him with such impolite gesture?

No, wait, maybe I am wrong. Maybe he is not really that 'angelic'. Maybe his 'hard to get' attitude was all just an act. Or he probably has changed his mind after catching a glimpse of my wealth. That's why he didn't run away. Heh, bitches always know better than running away from such an undeniable person like me.

"I'm so sorry, Lou." I take his hand. "I didn't mean to do... 'that' to you."

He curves a little smile which looks too irresistibly heart-warming for my eyes. "It's okay, I guess. We managed to stop that right in time anyway."

"But, still, Lou. I feel awful." I start fondling his hand. "What I did to you is unforgivable."

"No, William. Please, don't mind it. I'm alright." He holds my hand back with his both hands. "I feel more awful about those porcelains. They must be expensive. And to know that they were destroyed because of me, I can't help but feeling guilty." He looks down before continuing. "It's me who have to ask for forgiveness."

Huh? His level of self-confidence-lacking is truly beyond my knowledge. How can he easily find a way to blame himself, although I'm sure everyone would see him as innocent in this case? Moreover, he asks for forgiveness. My forgiveness. Is it his kindness or something else? It makes me wonder if he always being this- this- uh, how do I call it? Like he places himself as inferior to everyone, even in his own mind. Hell, he would probably just put himself at fault if somebody ever speaks about their bad days, who knows? Then no wonder why he easily lets me tell him what to do.

Dear God, does he even know what he is doing? It's like a constant temptation for my instinct to control, and my needs to be in charge. How am I supposed to react to that? I can't just take him by force. He will hate me and be gone forever, if I do that. And those are the last things I want right now after knowing that I can sense a slight happiness from his mere existence around me.

"Forget the China, Lou." I have no idea what to say.

He searches my eyes. "You mean, I'm not in trouble?" He asks seriously.

Does he really think he is the one to blame for everything? I give him a comforting smile and shake my head. "No, Baby."

Louis smiles back. "Thank you, William." His gaze shifts back on to the floor to hide his redden face from my eyes. Oh, or is it his way of showing how grateful he is?

"No. In fact, it's I who must thank you." I lift his chin. "Thank you for staying, Lou." I watch his mouth gaping as he tries to form any words. But I can't wait anymore. I kiss those pinkish lips. Again. I don't think I will ever get enough of them, even though I already know how delicious they taste.

This time, I'm not in a rush. I'm not trying to achieve any goals. And I have no other intentions. I just want to kiss him. Savoring the sweetness of his lips as long as I can, until it lingers on the tip of my tongue. I take my time kissing him, really, really slowly. Teasing his lips with my tongue. Licking the upper and the bottom in turns. Probing lazily in between but not entering even when he allows me an entry. I suck his bottom lip tenderly instead. Earning a soft moan from his half-opened mouth. Without parting, I release his chin and bring his body closer. Resting both of my hands on his waist and holding him tighter. He is too sweet. I can never get enough of him. His lips are heaven.

"Umhh-!" All of a sudden, he shoves my chest with his hands a little too hardly. I even have to step back for balance. Louis has parted our kiss. Again. "Oh, my God!" He looks terrified.

"What is it?" I frown at his widen eyes.

"I totally forgot!" He starts freaking out.

"What?!"

Before he can even say anything, he runs hastily into the kitchen's direction. Leaving me baffled in the living room.

"Lou!" What the hell?

Then, without any more questions, I follow him right away.

***