Part 12
1440 Words
"Are you sure you're okay?" Louis has done changing into a dry t-shirt and washing his face so that the after-cry effect could lessen a little bit.
"Yes, I'm fine now. Sorry, I've made you worry." He spreads a little smile to prove his words.
"No problem. Now that we choose to skip class, why don't we go to the infirmary to tend that bruise?"
"No, I told you, I'm fine." He replies, too fast. That, of course, raises a suspicion in me. I frown at him. He drops his gaze in shame. "I'm sorry. I... I just don't like others to... see."
How awful I am. Of course, with him being like this, he will strictly avoid anything public. Let alone showing off evidence of his pitiful state. Then I slowly touch his chin and bring it up. I stare deeply into his beautiful bright blue eyes. "It's alright. I understand. But I guess, a cup of coffee wouldn't be too much for you."
His expression grows brighter along with a sweet curve from his kissable soft lips. "I'll just have milkshake."
"Milkshake, that is." I let out a small chuckle. "Let's go." We head straight to cafeteria, holding hands. Louis doesn't seem to look so comfortable with it. As if he worries about me getting trouble from just simply holding his hand. That's ridiculous, because it has to work the other way around. People will surely be in trouble if they have problems with me holding Louis' hand.
Once we have ordered our coffee and milkshake, we are settling down in seats at the corner. It never escapes my notice how Louis has been averting his eyes from everyone. Most of the time, his eyes are cast down, even though there are only few people in this place at this hour. He has a serious self-confidence issue. And that will not do. My bitches have to be proud of themselves.
"How do you feel now, Lou?"
"I'm not sure." He takes a little sip of his vanilla milkshake.
"Do you want something to eat?" I know it's not a common time to have breakfast, or even brunch. But, remembering those rib lines I saw back then, I just can't help.
He doesn't answer my question immediately. Instead, he is just staring at me with an undefinable expression. And the next seconds, he looks like he is about cry. His lips quiver. Then he looks down again. I reach his hand on the table and stroke it. Hoping it could calm him down since I know he doesn't like crying in public.
"Thank you..." His voice sounds like a hiss.
"You okay?"
He nods. "You are so good to me." He lifts his face and stares at me with his glassy eyes. "Even ever since our first meeting when we still didn't know each other yet. I wasn't lying when I said I thought nobody cares about me."
"Stop saying it, Lou." I say softly.
"But it's true." He insists. "Nobody cares about a worthless being like me, except you. So, I thank you. Thank you very much." A bottomless depth of gratitude is shown obviously in his face. What a sight. I could almost get myself overwhelmed by pride and happiness if it's not for those self-loathing words he just said.
"Don't say you are worthless, Lou. You are never less than anybody."
"Well, but, I'm like an eyesore for everyone. That's why they always try to get rid of me."
"No, you are not an eyesore, let alone worthless."
"You don't understand. They-"
"Believe me, I get it."
"But-"
"I said stop!" I snap, not loudly, but sharply. He jumps a little at my voice. I lift his face as he tries to look down again. "You listen to me when I tell you to stop thinking that you are unworthy." My tone is deep, low and compelling. Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad at him. I'm just trying to stop him from believing the words he said as the truth. "Is that understood?"
Reluctantly, he nods and says. "Yes."
My hand leaves his chin and moves back to his hand. "I didn't mean to bark at you. I'm sorry." My voice shifts back to the soft one. "I was just worried about how you could easily believe in such crap. Who told you that?"
He shakes his head. "No one. I just figured it out myself. Probably there are reasons for people to hate me."
"Oh, believe me, if there is a reason behind their hatred, it's not you. It's because they are simply as$holes who can't live without messing around with others."
He nods slowly after being silent for a few moments. "I'm sorry. I've been so stupid-"
"I said no more badmouthing about yourself." I tighten my hold on his hand a little bit for a soft reminder.
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry. It's not your fault. You were just confused so that you ended up blaming yourself for all the hatred towards you. And you had no one to tell you how wrong you were." I look straight into his eyes and speak gently. "But now you have me. You can always talk and listen to me when you are confused. And trust me when you can't trust anyone including yourself. Can you do that?"
"Yeah, I think I can." He replies. "Thank you, William."
I smile at him. "Just make sure you don't talk bad about yourself anymore."
He lets out a small chuckle that sounds interestingly sweet. "I will try."
"Oh, you have to, because I would take that as an offense if you ever make the same mistake again."
"What, sorry?" He seems surprised at my slightly menacing remark and chooses to act as if he heard it wrong. Don't blame me for what I said. I told you, I am obsessed with control. I want people do what I tell them to.
"You are just perfect, Lou. And it hurts me too when you say awful things about yourself. So, I really can't tolerate that." From the way his face softens and redden, I know that I've made a big step closer. Praise me.
"You think I'm perfect?"
"Why not? You are kind, smart and... pretty. Others are just jealous." His cheeks flush even more. So, I decide to test him. "And I won't be so surprised to know you never have to sleep alone every night since there is always a handsome boyfriend in your bed for company."
"What?? No!" He is blushing furiously. "You are wrong!" I laugh at him. But it seems to embarrass him even more. This is great. I find a virgin.
"You are blushing, Lou." I'm still laughing. Victory laugh.
"I don't even have a boyfriend." He states shyly.
Then I stop laughing. "Wait, who is Tim then?"
"He lives in my neighborhood. We've been close friends since we were little." Now, it's his turn to chuckle. "You think he is my boyfriend? I don't even think he is gay."
Alright, it is confirmed now that this fair virgin is absolutely available. Let's go mark some territory. "Wow, lucky me."
"Lucky how?" He smiles. If this was Mikey or Ivan I speak with, I would've cut that crap and get on to the bedroom issue. But this is Louis, so I have to be patient.
"Oh, I mean that's great, because I was about to ask you out tonight." I'm feigning to be shy.
His eyes widen from surprise. "But, wh- what about Mikey? I thought you are dating."
"No, we are not." Just like what I thought earlier. That b***h Mikey could be a trouble for me to get another b***h. He is just too clingy. "So, what's your answer?"
He pauses a little before answering. "I truly appreciate your offer but I'm afraid I won't be able to come tonight. I'm sorry."
What? Did I hear it right? Somebody has just turned down my offer? Okay, don't get snapped. Remember, this one requires time and patience. A lot. "It's alright. We can still do it another time. But may I know why?"
"Uh, let's just say I have something else to do tonight."
Great. That was a very satisfying answer. Do you ask me if there is a sarcastic tone in my comment? Don't sweat yourself. I won't answer that since I also have something else to do. And that is to be as patient as a monk restraining the urge to just take him right here and right now.
Shit, I really want that a$s. That virgin a$s.
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- Writer
