King of Anything

11

"You asked what I wanted?"

Why is he back? "I want you to come back home. Do you remember? When you used to come back home to me?"

I close my eyes, hearing him come closer to me.

"I half expected this to be like the manhuas you loved reading. You'd have a child of mine, running around here and we'd blend into a seamless family."

He collapsed next to me, his heat radiating me.

"We've talked about the bad. What about the good? Do you remember that? Do you remember when you used to come home and I'd greet you with a kiss. And a hug. And I'd put my hand on your head, like this, remember?"

That big strong, warm hand tested on my head, reassuringly. "And tell you I was proud of you. And you looked at me like I was super human."

"Do you remember when we would curl up in bed, and cuddle? Do you remember when we would listen to classical music and you would be the conductor and I would always be the violin?"

The images flash behind my eyes. "Stop this. Stop this now. None of this matters anymore."

"But it does," He whispered, pulling my hair back. "You and I...we were perfect together, darling."

No. No I won't get sucked back into this-into him.

"And you played me like a violin. Whatever you want, I'll do it," I lift my head, meeting his eyes, "If you promise to never show your face in front of me again."

"I'll take the fall for you. I'll kill for you. This last time, as long as you never do this again."

He rears back. "I'm not here to hurt you, Maureen-"

"You have to be," I clutch my shirt. "Just...tell me what you want so I can get rid of you."

He stays silent, his eyes racking over my figure sorrowfully.

"Marueen..."

"Just please, stop playing with me. What do you want? Just tell me what you want."

He sighs, searching for my eyes. I avoid his.

I just want him to go away. I can't take this anymore.

"I see," He whispered, standing. "Goodbye Marueen. I..."

"Don't. Finish that sentence."

Sighing, he starts to leave, pausing at the door.

"I know I hurt you very badly. I didn't mean to, Marueen. I'm sorry, I just...You were the first person to care for me in a very long time. It's against my nature to accept anyone could care for me the way you did."

"So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you then. I'm sorry I'm hurting you now. I'm sorry I treated you like a toy. But I care for you, Marueen. I do. I still know your birthday, and your favorite things."

"I'm so sorry, Marueen."

My eyes burn, the tears behind them trying to escape.

"I can be so blind, can't I? I'm doing it now, hurting you. I'll go."

He stays for a moment, unwilling to part. Finally, his feet move, and the door closes behind him.

I fall apart.