The Magic of Two Hearts

Episode 3

“A German! I think that he must have meant a German Jew.”

After that, there was silence between them for a while, then he said suddenly,

“You have told me your story. Would you like to hear mine?”

“Yes,” she answered.

“Well, it won’t take you long to listen to it, for, Miss Agnes, like Canning’s needy knife-grinder, I really have none to tell. You see before you is one of the most useless persons in the world, an undistinguished member of what is called in England the ‘leisure class,’ who can do absolutely nothing that is worth doing, except shoot straight.”

“Indeed,” said Agnes.

“You do not seem impressed with that accomplishment,” he went on, “yet it is an honest fact that for the last fifteen years—I was thirty-two this month—practically my whole time has been given up to it, with a little fishing thrown in the spring. As I want to make the most of myself, I will add that I am supposed to be among the six best shots in England, and that my ambition—yes, great Heavens! My ambition was to become better than the other five. By that sin fell the poor man who speaks to you. I was supposed to have abilities, but I neglected them all to pursue this form of idleness. "I entered no profession, I did no work, with the result that, at thirty-two, I am ruined and almost hopeless.”

“Why ruined and hopeless?” she asked anxiously, for the way in which they were spoken grieved her more than the words themselves.

“Ruined because my old uncle, the Honorable John Holmes, whose heir I was, committed the indiscretion of marrying a young lady who had presented him with thriving twins. With the appearance of those twins, my prospects disappeared, as did the allowance he gave me yearly, which was good enough to give up a position as his next-of-kin. "I had something of my own, but I also had debts, and a little loose cash, which represents the total of my worldly goods, just about the sum I am accustomed to spending per annum.”

“I don’t call that ruin, I call that riches,” said Agnes, relieved. With the so-called loose cash you can make a fortune in Africa. But how about hopelessness?”

“I am hopeless because I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. Really, when all the cash is gone I do not know how to earn a stipend. In this dilemma, it occurred to me that the only thing I could do was to turn my shooting into a practical account, and become a hunter of big game. Therefore, I propose killing elephants until an elephant kills me. At least,” he added in a changed voice,

“I did so propose until half an hour ago.”