The Abused Girl |Old Version|

Chapter Three

NIGHTMARES.

I hated nightmares. They were beginning to become a nightly occurrence. I would bolt upright in bed, with a pounding heart and beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. I wish I could say I had silly nightmares about a wolf chasing me, but unfortunately, all of mine consisted of John. I dreamt of his sinister face looming over me as he smiled his signature smile at me. The dreams were so vivid that sometimes I found it hard to distinguish between reality and dream.

I didn't always dream of John though. Mother appeared in my dreams too. I dreamt of her crying out for my help but I never seemed to be able to get to her. Instead, I was forced to watch her die over and over again in pain when I could have helped her. I was being tortured over and over again, having to relive the most painful moments in my life.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead with a shaky hand. I took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I tried to calm my racing heart. I wiped away the tear stains on my cheeks, unaware that I was even crying.  I got off my 'bed' but winced when I felt an unbearable pain in my stomach. I quickly doubled over, clutching my stomach.

"Shit." I wheezed quietly and scrunched my face up in pain. I bit my lip hard to stop myself from making any noise that would wake John. I clenched my eyes shut and waited for the pain to pass. I breathed in and out evenly through my nose as waves of pain passed through my body. I dug my nails into the palm of my hands, leaving small crescent moon shapes indented in my skin. Once I felt that the pain in my stomach had subsided slightly, I clumsily stumbled over to my shattered mirror and looked at myself.

I could barely even recognize myself. My face and eyes looked so dull and empty. My face was splattered with blue and black bruises, and when I lifted my shirt, my entire stomach was covered with them as well. I could even trace the outline of each of my ribs. They jutted out harshly against my pale skin. John refused to give me proper food; normally he would be kind enough to give me a stale piece of bread or a piece of fruit every few days. I tried to sneak an apple from the kitchen every now and again when I felt particularly weak.

Small pale pink scars littered my skin. It was hard for me to find a patch of skin that hadn't been scarred in some way. Some were light pink, having gotten them years ago and some were a deep angry red colour that contrasted with my ghostly white skin. A lot of them looked worse than they actually were. They were surrounded by yellow or purple bruising.

The girl looking back at me was just a shell of who I used to be. I used to be extremely chatty and lively. I was that energetic girl that was always jumping up and down from something in excitement. I was the girl who was always smiling in school. I was the girl who tried to be optimistic even when it felt like the entire world was against you. But when life kept knocking me down to the floor, I found it harder to get back up every time. Eventually, I stopped trying to get back up.

I changed into an oversized hoodie and some jeans and let my hair fall loosely down my shoulders. I picked up my foundation and concealer and one by one, the bruises faded. It was one of the few things John bought for me. He wouldn't buy me food but he bought me makeup to cover up.

I tiptoed over to my door and quietly pulled it open. I held my breath for a second as I listened to see if John was awake. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. The fear I felt ran through my veins as I knew that any second, any moment, he could be in front of me. He was an extremely light sleeper. The slightest noise usually woke him up. I sighed in relief when I heard his snores coming from his room. I felt myself become more relaxed and opened my door fully, stepping out. I knew which patches on the floor and stairs made the loudest noises. This house was kind of old so I had memorized where I had to walk in order to avoid John waking up.

Slowly I put one foot in front of the other, my eyes trained in concentration on the wooden floor.  I avoided certain areas and quietly made my way down the stairs. I clutched the staircase tightly and breathed out a sigh of relief once my feet touched the soft carpet downstairs.

I had to prepare John's breakfast every morning. Normally he had eggs, bread and a can of beer. I opened the cupboard and took out a plate, fork and cup for him. I set them out on the table gently, not wanting to create more noise. I padded over to the fridge and I opened it. I sighed when I saw there was barely anything in there. Only bottles of beer, some moldy bread, sour milk and two eggs. For having a lot of money, he definitely didn't waste it. He spent it only on himself.

No breakfast for me today then. I grabbed the eggs and brought them over to the pan, cracking them in. I whisked them until they were fluffy, and flipped them when they started cooking. I grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and placed it next to his plate, where I dumped the eggs onto. I covered it with another plate, so it wouldn't go cold.

I looked at the clock and realized it was nearly eight. Quickly, I grabbed my bag off of the floor and swung it over my shoulder. I froze when I heard a sound coming from upstairs. The creaking sound of the stairs caught my attention and without much thinking, I ran towards the door, throwing it open and slipping out. The harsh sun beat down on my face and I lifted a hand to block out the sunlight.

Let the day begin.

                                                                                      ~~~

I COULDN'T DO it.

I was beginning to think something was wrong with me because I felt like I was about to faint from the pain. My headache was mainly gone, but my stomach was killing me. It took most of my energy to keep a straight face. I couldn't sit or stand a certain way, and I constantly had to adjust myself or it would start to ache even more.

I was sitting beside Victoria again and I could tell she was beginning to get annoyed by my constant fidgeting and moving. I could feel her glares boring into the side of my head but I kept my gaze forwards.

Finally, she leaned towards me and hissed, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I refused to look at her and kept my eyes on the board where Miss Holland was doing out combustion equations and teaching us how to balance them.

I shook my head and whispered back, "Nothing's wrong with me."

"You can't even seem to sit still for ten seconds; do you have ants in your pants or something?"

I snorted a quick laugh, but stopped when I felt another seating pain shoot through me. I tried to keep my face as blank and as neutral as I could. "Like I said, there's nothing wrong with me." I mumbled.

She went silent for a moment before her manicured hand shot up in the air.

"Miss Holland?" She asked loudly and I whipped my head towards her, my eyes widening. Her lips were set in a straight line, and her forehead was creased.

Miss Holland sighed and turned around. "Yes Victoria?" She said patiently.

A look of determinism flashed through her eyes as I nudged her gently, shaking my head, but she ignored me and turned back to the teacher.

"Anastasia is sick. Is it okay if I bring her to the nurse?" She asked, looking at me pointedly.

I opened my mouth to argue but snapped it shut as another searing pain hit me. My nails dug into my skin painfully as I tried to keep any whimpers or sounds from escaping.

Miss Holland's eyes slid over to mine as she looked at me. Everyone in the class grew quiet and I squirmed nervously in my seat. Miss Holland's eyes bored into mine and they softened slightly as she took me in. I looked away, not being able to look at the pitiful glances she was giving me.

"Okay," Miss Holland finally said, pursing her lips. "Take her down to Maria."

Victoria stood up and smiled at Miss Holland. "I will. Thank you Miss." Victoria turned towards me as Miss Holland started teaching again.

"I'm fine." I muttered quietly as she gestured for me to get up.

"Get your ass up," She hissed, narrowing her eyes. "It's either that or I'll drag you out by your ear."

I slowly rose and followed Victoria out ignoring everyone's curious stares. I walked painfully slowly behind her, trying to keep up with her long strides.

I wasn't quite sure why she was helping me. I knew Victoria was someone who butted in when the other students bullied others, but I didn't understand why she was speaking up now. She had never once even spoken to me before. Whenever the other students bullied me, I would always catch her observing, but she never did anything. She simply watched from afar with cold, calculating eyes.

Victoria strutted down the hallway confidently as I struggled to keep up with her fast pace. Her hair flowed behind her, almost like in one of those fancy hair commercials on television. She didn't say anything and neither did I until we reached the nurses office.

"Maria!" She announced loudly. She stood in the middle of the room, her hands on her hips as an authoritative expression took over her face. A bang was heard before an old woman came scurrying through the back doors. Her grey-black hair was tied up poorly in a bun, with strands falling out, framing her small face. She had wrinkles along her face, her face pinched in a tight expression. Her face lit up a bit when she saw Victoria. She walked over to her, and wrapped her in a quick hug.

"Ah, Victoria, my dear, how have you been?"

Victoria's gaze slid over to me. "I've been good," She replied. "But I need your help." She nodded in my direction. Maria's eyes slid over to me. Her blue eyes seemed a bit cold, like Victoria's.

"What's your name child?" She asked in a foreign accent as she looked over me from head to toe.

I felt uncomfortable with the stares I was receiving and I started getting off the chair I had sat on, "Uhm, I really don't need to be here so I'm just going to -"

I was cut off when Victoria snapped at me. "Sit down. You're not going anywhere."

My eyes widened and I shook my head adamantly, "I told you Victoria, -"

Maria cut us off, "Victoria, wait outside."

I froze. Even Victoria looked uncertain as she glanced between the two of us, "Maria-"

She snapped her blue eyes to her, "¡Yo dijé que esperes afuera!"

I frowned at the foreign language, unsure of what Maria was saying. Victoria pursed her lips before nodding. She left the room after shooting me a wary glance. The soft click of the door was heard and we were both enveloped in silence.

The only sound that could be heard was the clock ticking. My heart started beating quickly out of nervousness. I looked up and see Maria studying me sharply. Her gaze moved around my face and down my body almost like she had X-Ray vision. She stepped closer to me, and her eyes seemed to soften just a bit as she took in my frightened state.

"What is your name?" She asked, her voice coming out rough, a hint of an accent coming through.

"Anastasia." I mumbled, averting my eyes to certain paintings she had on the wall that suddenly looked very interesting to me. Despite the bleak colour of the walls, the bright paintings seemed to make up for it. Bright yellow, blue and green paintings hung on the walls. It was more abstract art as I tried to figure out what I was looking at.

She nodded and lifted her hand to my face. Out of habit I flinched slightly backwards. Her face remained blank but I knew she obviously noticed. She tilted my head from side to side, her long nails keeping my face angled towards hers before stepping back from me. Her eyes seemed fixated on my cheek where John had hit me.

My eyes trailed down to her arms where I saw two pink-white deep scars running up her arm where she had her sleeves rolled up. I quickly snapped my eyes up, not wanting to stare too long. Did she go through the same thing as I did? Or were they simply from something else, like an accident?

"Is there anything you would like to tell me first off?" She asked lowly, her face not giving anything away. She had a tired face, one that looked worn. She seemed like someone who had seen and been through a lot in her life.

I frowned slightly; she couldn't know. I shook my head, "No, nothing, I just get bad period pains," I whispered in a small voice.

Her blue eyes pierced through mine and it was silent for a few seconds until she shook her head. "Yo sé que me estás mintiendo," She placed a hand on my shoulder gently, and looked at me. "Are you sure it's just period pains?"

Stay calm.

I kept my face blank and nodded my head confidently. "Of course. What else would it be?"

Her hard eyes pierced through mine and she nodded sharply and stepped away. "Okay then." She snapped and turned away from me.

"You take two paracetamol when you go home," she muttered as she shuffled around the room. She turned to look at me. "Understand?"

I bobbed my head up and down quickly. "Yes. Of course. Thank you Maria."

I slipped off the small chair and headed straight for the door. I was eager to leave the room. Her intense staring was making me somewhat uncomfortable. I could feel her eyes following me sharply before she called out my name. I paused and turned to face her.

"Don't let the fear of what could happen let nothing happen." She spoke lowly before turning away from me fully.

I froze, my hand on the door as I let her words sink in. I knew then, that she had a faint idea of what had happened. But her words made sense to me. I wasn't just afraid; I was terrified of what could or would happen if I told someone about John.

I took a deep breath and stepped outside. However, when I shut the door, I stepped back startled when Victoria was leaning against the wall, waiting. She was looking down at her phone, her long red manicured nails tapping away. She lifted her head when I stepped out and stuffed her phone in her pocket.

"You good?" She asked after a moment.

I nodded timidly. "I'm good."

She gave me a sharp nod. "Good." She paused and spoke again. "You have class next?"

I shook my head. "No, it's a free class since Miss Marin is out."

She smiled at me then, an action which contrasted from her normally scowling expression. "Go home Anastasia. You look like death itself. And trust me, it's not cute."

My lips tilted upwards in a minuscule smile and I nodded my head at her. "Thank you Victoria."

She pushed herself off the wall and grabbed her bag off the floor. "No problem. See ya." She lifted her hand in a short wave before strutting away from me down the hall towards her next class.

Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.