Emmerson & The Guardian

I Don't Think I Can Live Without You

            We drive for about an hour when I decide we need some tunes.  I hover my hand over the knob eyeing him to let him know of my intentions.  He nods sweetly, so I push the button and the stereo comes to life flooding the car with the lyrics of ‘Talking Bodies’.  We both blush and burst out into a fit of laughter.  I change the station and Ed Sheeran sings “people fall in love in mysterious ways.”  

“I think the radio is trying to tell us something.”  He says as he smiles a panty dropping smile.

            We drive for another few hours.  It’s fun riding in this car.  It feels like it’s floating above the road.  The tires hug the road, and you feel like you are part of the car.  I wonder for a moment if this is his company car or his personal.  Personal I decide.  His car phone rings.  “Mac……Yes.  Is the package secure?......Then f*****g deal with it before I get there!  ETA 30 min.”  Click.  

“Work?”

“Yes.  I have to go handle something.  It shouldn’t take too long.  You’ll need to wait in the car.”  He said this with a stern tone that he hasn’t used with me before.  It leaves me wondering for a few moments before saying…

“Ok.”  I can feel his anxiety?  No…fear?  ‘crap’ I am having difficulty “feeling” emotions the last couple of days.  Blaze is muffling my abilities…except for the electricity when we are having s*x.

            We pull into a parking lot of what looks like an abandoned warehouse.  Blaze eyes me.  I nod knowing he’s asking permission to leave me unattended.  He opens the car door, stands, and heads toward the trunk.  I can see part of his reflection in the side view mirror.  He opens the trunk then bends down and begins rummaging through the trunk.  When he resurfaces, I see him put on his black leather trench coat, and tuck something into the inside breast pocket of his coat.  It bulges ever so slightly above his heart.  He closes the trunk and walks along my side of the car- taps on the window with his index finger and motions for me to roll down the window.  I do as I’m asked, and he plants a chaste kiss on my lips.

“No matter what you hear…do not get out of this car.”  It’s a warning.  And I furrow my brow- he grazes his finger down my cheek in reassurance.  I nod.  He motions for me to roll the window back up and I do.  He stops by the hood of the car and leans all of his weight onto his arms as he places both hands palm down on the hood.  I cannot make out the words he is whispering- then he stands and makes the sign of the cross across his body.  Was he ‘praying’? After he reaches into his shirt and produces a golden cross, he kisses it with reverence.  His posture has changed.  He looks more authoritative.  He stomps toward the building and pauses just outside of the door to the eerie building.  He reaches for the handle and pushes the door open then disappears inside.  We are parked far enough away from the facility that I can only hear a vague hint of shouting.  After 20 minutes Blaze reemerges from the building.  He looks to be covered in dust.  Which isn’t hard to believe with the looks of the outside of this building.  He dusts himself off as he heads toward the car.

            He put his jacket securely in the trunk before he hurries to the driver side door.  He paused before opening the door, and I think I saw him make the sign of the cross across his chest again.  Once in the car he leans over to me and places his hand on my knee.  “You are so beautiful, baby.”

“You look disgusting.” I say because it’s true.

A chuckle escapes his throat.  “You really know how to make a man feel good Em.”  His playful tone is in full swing.  A total shift from before he went into the building.  How can he switch from mood to mood so quickly?  I wonder what he did in there…And with that thought in the back of my mind we head out on our journey again.  

I choose not to ask what happened at the abandoned warehouse.  Call it intuition, but I’m afraid if I knew I wouldn’t want to be in the same car with him anymore.  And I’m not ready to let go of the blissful feeling.  I prop my head with my hand that is resting on the window- and fall into a deep sleep. 

I’m running in a field, and it’s a beautiful day.  My hands graze the top of the tall grass, and my hair floats wistfully around my shoulders as the wind blows it.  I’m running to something, though I can’t see what it is.  It’s more of a feeling drawing me near.  Then in a nanosecond everything beautiful fades away and I’m crawling on my hands and knees in a dark dungeon.  Something, or someone rather, still pulling me to them.  When I stop crawling I look up to see the figure of a man, though I cannot make out the top half of his face.  Blonde hair, pale skin, long fingers.  He reaches down to touch my face and as he does I feel a strange pain pierce my heart.  His lips part slightly, revealing a pearly set of fangs as he takes a sharp breath of air.  It is as if he can feel my pain, too.

I awake to Blaze shaking my shoulder.  “Em!  Emmerson, it’s ok!  It’s just a dream.  Emmerson it is just a dream.  Wake up!”  I pry my eyes open.  My mouth is dry, and my fangs are stuck into my cheeks.  I retract them and instantly taste blood from my wounds.  Dear God, I hope he didn’t see them!  “What did I say?”

“Someone was hurting you.  It was just a dream though.  Just a dream.”  He caresses my cheek and leans in to kiss my hair.

“I’ve had this particular dream since I was young.  It’s always the same.  It’s always exactly the same…”  I drift off as I notice tears beginning to pool in my eyes.  A single tear escapes, but he catches it with his pointer finger and brushes it away.  I never cry.  But this time the dream felt more real.  It didn’t just feel like a dream.  It felt like a premonition.  

We pull into a bed in breakfast in what appears to be Alabama.  Jeez he drives fast.  Once we park out front, he grabs my hand and squeezes it.  “I know I was sent her on a job, Em.  But I’m so glad I am here with you, in this moment.”  How can someone be this romantic?  I melt.  “Come.  Let’s go get lost in one another.”  

The bed and breakfast is adorable.  It’s very southern.  The sign reads “Best Bed and Breakfast This side of The Mason Dixon Line”.  It makes me smile.  My mom adores the southern charm that states like Alabama, Mississippi, and Tennessee possess.  

“We’d like a room please.  Honeymoon suite if you have it.”

“Sure, sir.  She’s a beaut.”  The gentleman says while gesturing to the car. 

“Thank you.  I quite like her.”  For some reason I have to wonder if he’s still talking about the car.

Once again Blaze extracts the black American Express and pays for our room.

“I’d be happy to pay for our room.”  I say timidly.

“Emmerson, I’m doing quite well for myself.  I think I can pay for a beautiful woman while she’s in my care.”

“Is that all I am?  ‘In your care’?”

“What do you want to be….”  He asks…

“More than ‘in your care’.”  I say sarcastically.

“You are everything.”

By this time the gentleman is obviously embarrassed but holding up a key for Blaze.  He then produces a handwritten receipt and gives the AmEx back. 

“The room will be in is right out these double doors.  Then hang a hard left, and two rights.  You’ll find her there.  Y’all want me to fix y’all some supper?” 

“No.  I will be taking the lady to a private dinner after we…freshen up.”

“Have a good stay y’all hear.”

            Blaze scoops me up in a gentle embrace and I wrap my arms around his neck.  I never expected to find love in such unfathomable circumstances.  The gentle embrace turns into Blaze carrying me the whole way to the room.  It is breathtaking, too.  We have a King-sized bed with overly plush bedding all in white.  Flowery wallpaper plastered all over the walls with beautiful pictures of gardens on the wall over the bed.  There is an oversized claw bathtub in the bathroom with luscious jasmine bath oil sitting on the ledge next to it.  A tiny card reads

                                                -Best Wishes to the happy couple.

            This is truly the most romantic setting I’ve ever been in.  To think this man, I’ve known for two days is giving me a more romantic honeymoon than my actual husband.  I remember that disaster like it was yesterday.

”Honey! I’m so happy you let me plan the honeymoon!  Isn’t this great?!”  Freddie’s grin was genuine and from ear to ear.

“Yea.  I mean Yes.  Yes, it’s great.”  I lie. 

            We are staying in old Las Vegas at the Fremont Hotel and Casino.  He got a room with double beds.  You get what you pay for here, and at a whopping $79.99 a night I suppose I can’t expect much.  “Wow…he really spared no expense.”  My subconscious says in a sarcastic voice.  I’m glad that he can’t hear her.  The wallpapered walls are peeling, and the shower has a constant drip.  Drip.  Drip.  Drip.  He leaves me in the room until it’s buffet dinner time.  Stumbling into the room smelling of cheap bourbon, and cigars.  He mutters and grunts under his breath.

“Are you drunk?”

“What’ssss it‘t-ya, huh?!”

“Well, I just thought we were going to go do something after dinner.  Like the movies maybe?”

“Nah.  I’m goin ta. Ta shower ‘n den…” hiccup, hiccup, burp.  “Schleep.”

“Oh.”  I frown in disappointment.  

“Hey.  I’ll draw the bath, and then we can get in together?  I’ll massage your shoulders?”

“You had me at bath.”

            We walk into the bathroom, and blaze starts the water.  Checking the temperature of the water is just right.  He pours some of the oil in and the water suds up.  He reaches for my hand and his thumb grazes over my knuckles.  Gently he releases my hand and reaches for the top button of my blouse and slowly undoes it.  His index finger gently skims the top of my breast as he does.  Then the next, and the next.  Slowly.  Until my shirt is hanging open to expose my lacy black bra.  He pushes my shirt off of my shoulders and lets it fall to the floor.  His fingers skim across my collarbone over to my neck where he gently brushes my hair off my shoulder.  He kneels in front of me and puts both hands around my right thigh.  He gently massages downward to my knee.  Never breaking eye contact.  He grabs the zipper of my knee-high boots and slowly inches the zipper down to the instep of my foot.  He peels the boot off- then moves to the left.  Repeating every delicious second.  Once my shoes are off, he stands and gently kisses my shoulder.  He reaches for the button of my jeans, but I shoo his hand away and wag my pointer finger playfully in his face.  

“My turn.”

            I reach for his top button and make quick work of each one.  He shrugs out of his shirt and it meets mine on the floor.  I kneel in front of him to mirror his actions.  I glide my fingers down the inseam of his right leg until I’m at his feet.  I slip his right shoe off.  Seeing someone as perfectly made as Blaze wearing Converse makes me want to giggle.  I’d never have imagined him in anything but boots honestly.  I shake my head and get back to work, I glide my fingers back up the inseam of his right leg and gently graze his erection- I hear a hiss of breath pass his gritted teeth as I do, and tease him as I run it down the inseam of his left leg.  

Once his left shoe is off, I reach for his fly.  He grabs my wrist and turns me around so that my back is pressed against his front.  I can feel his erection in the small of my back.  “You are turning me on.  I want you.  Every way I can get you.”  His words send a shiver of electricity throughout my body and I throw my head back against him to reveal my neck.  He swirls his tongue over the exposed skin of my throat.  It’s a delicious sensation.  He wraps his arms around my waist and gently inserts his hand into the front of my jeans.  His hand slides down into my lacy briefs and skims my most intimate area.  I have never felt so much need.  I have to fight the urge to extend my fangs.  I feel so primal…so erotic.  “Let’s get into the bath.”  We make quick work of what little clothes we have on and step into the bath.  The water is scalding on my skin, but it feels exquisite.  We glide down into the water until we are chest deep in the luscious fragrant water.  We lay there for what seems like an eternity.  Just staring into each other’s eyes.  He grabs my foot and massages my instep.  I have to hold onto the sides of the tub to keep from melting into the bathtub. Everywhere he touches me sends electric currents throughout my body.  Blaze kisses my each one of my toes before setting my foot onto his lap. 

 “You are under my skin, Em.”

“And you mine.”

“I am not a homewrecker.  I am going to have to let you go.”

“You didn’t wreck anything.  He hasn’t been my husband for a long time.  He doesn’t touch me, doesn’t talk to me…Hell it’s hard enough getting him to look at me.”

“How can anyone not look at you?  I don’t understand it.  He isn’t a man.  Everywhere we have gone- everyone men and women alike- are enchanted by you.”

Surely, he has to know it’s him they gawk at.  “I think you have the table turned perhaps.  It is you they are drawn to.”

He leans over and plants a gentle kiss on my lips.  “What are we going to do?”  

I fidget with my wedding band, grasp it between my thumb and middle finger, and gently tug it off.  “I intend to return this to my husband.  And leave with you- if you’ll have me.”

“Emmerson...  I don’t think I can live without you.”  He’s almost desperate.  He places his forehead on mine and gasps the nape of my neck in his hand.  “I would die if something happened to you.  In hac vita ad mortem, et sequenti.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s Latin.  It’s a motto.  I will go with you to confront Freddie.  We can do it together.”