My Past Life Alpha

Chapter 3

    The lack of air woke me up at dawn like a blow to the chest. I was sweating cold and a horrible emptiness invaded my body. I tried to calm myself by looking at the floor as the sound of the wind coming through the window rocked me, but it didn't work. Unable to control my body and thoughts, I began to cry. Tears were streaming down and I couldn't stop my sobs. A devastating sadness didn't let me breathe, it was painful. I did not know what to do or where to go to stop this pain, I just felt that I should do something, but what? I cried for a long time, it seemed like hours without being able to calm my crushed heart.

    I woke up sitting in front of the small window in my room that overlooked the forest. It was a beautiful forest, full of lush trees that hid the horizon. I got lost in its details, its shadows, and its antiquity until the soft blue light began to peek through the green leaves. The smell of the grass entered subtly mixed with the damp earth of the morning, I loved that smell, it reminded me of the smell of that man. His green eyes popped into my mind, but for the first time, I was not afraid to remember them. I was too absorbed in the beautiful landscape, that I felt that whatever happened to me could not be so bad, it made me forget my problems for a moment. 

    I thought how wonderful it would be to run through the trees. I could know the exact sensation of the earth under my feet, every emotion, every smell, but I had no memory of having done it and that made me feel deeply nostalgic. I missed a life that I did not remember, I needed to know my past.

    The sound of the door took me out of my thoughts, I thought it would be Lidia, who was bringing my breakfast, but when I turned around there was no one there. I was disappointed to see that it was not her, as I had been starving for hours. Then I thought it was the bathroom door.

I waited a while longer and on time as always, Lidia arrived with my plate of scrambled eggs with a glass of water.

    "May I ask already?" I said with a thirst for new answers.

    "Better use the time and get dressed, let's go outside," she told me, leaving some clothes on the bed. "Orders of the Alpha."

    “But…” there were many things that I still wanted to know, but I didn't know when I would be able to leave this prison again, so I decided to ask her outside.

    "We left after lunch," Lidia told me, leaving.

    My heart leaped inside, I could finally get out of that small room and learn more about the world around me. I took a bath, quickly dressed in the white sweater and distressed jeans that Lidia had given me. I couldn't handle the excitement as she headed from my room to the exit, I could realize how huge this property really was, it was almost a castle elegantly adorned with expensive-looking furniture. On my way, I didn't see practically anyone, and everything was very quiet. Where were all the people? That was weird. Outside it was simply impressive. It was a gray mansion, with large pillars at the entrance that guided the infinite steps, numerous large windows that contrasted with the small window of my room, a huge and incredibly manicured garden, the bushes were square and perfect, like the rest of the characteristics of that place, it was simply beautiful.

    Lidia and I continue walking towards the beginning of the forest.

    "Where are we going?" I asked Lidia.

    "To let your wolf stretch its legs, apparently the alpha is in good mood," Lidia said as if it were obvious.

    For some reason it made me nervous to tell Lidia that I couldn't transform, I didn't know how to tell her that I didn't feel that natural connection, that I couldn't talk to my wolf. Those were things I hadn't forgotten, the herds. Either way, I preferred to leave it last, to not ruin my ride.

    “The alpha? What did he say? " I couldn't help showing interest in what the alpha had said about me.

Lidia smiled in amusement.

    "It doesn't matter, just enjoy," she said laughing as ran into the forest.

    On instinct I ran after Lidia, the same smell of wet earth filled my nose and made me feel free. The wind was hitting my face and my legs, although they burned, they felt incredible. I knew that I could not transform myself, but that was the most liberating thing in the world, I felt that I belonged to that place.

We reached a clearing, I couldn't stop huffing, my breathing was ragged and only a little air could get into my burning lungs. Lidia looked fresh in the center of the clearing, what a condition she had.

    Sunlight streamed between the tree branches, creating puzzles and showers of light within the shadows of the forest. It was just beautiful, I loved it all, I never wanted to leave. The idea of running away flashed through my mind and stayed like a small splinter stuck in the skin, bothering me from time to time.

"You go behind that tree, leave your clothes there, I'll go here" Lidia pointed to a tree behind me.

She ran to her tree and I was left alone. I closed my eyes and tried to enjoy the calm sounds of nature, the wind caressing the leaves, and the sound of the branches rustling ...

    A chill ran down my spine and my skin crawled. I quickly turned back, I felt that someone was watching me, but there was nothing there. I couldn't shake the feeling of danger from my neck. I was afraid. I approached Lidia, who was the most prepared to face any danger. I kept turning back as I approached the tree where Lidia was taking off her clothes. With my nerves on the surface and a growing sense of threat, I couldn't bear it when Lidia jumped up behind me turned into a beautiful brown wolf. I gasped and fell to the ground, I could only contemplate the magic of a human turned into an animal. I completely forgot about the threat when Lidia looked at me with her own brown eyes.

Her wolf rose to three legs, lifting one delicately. Even with her wolf form, I could see the doubt on her face.

    "I ... I don't remember how to transform myself" I confessed sadly with my head down.

    Lidia made a sound that I could interpret as a complaint about not having told her earlier.

    "I'm sorry, I was ashamed. But please, you go, ” I suggested animatedly.

        Lidia raised her eyebrow and shook her huge head. That amused me a bit.

    "I promise you that I will not run away, I am very close to the castle and I cannot convert, it would be suicide" I explained sincerely.

    Lidia frowned at the ground for a minute and then she looked at me. She narrowed her eyes and growled a little warningly.

    "I understand," I say with a smile on my face.

    Then Lidia looked at the castle making sure no one was watching and then ran into the forest quickly, disappearing from my sight. I was only able to walk through the forest, enjoying the landscape, caressing the texture of the trees, and inhaling the various smells, I tried to identify the sounds of nature, the elusive birds and animals, simply the movement of the world. Everything seemed so new to me that I was fascinated with all things. I couldn't help feeling a sensation at the back of my neck as it had happened in the clearing, but this time accompanied by some pressure on my chest that I couldn't identify. I decided to ignore it as a lot of weird things had been going on in my head lately so it was probably just my imagination. I kept walking until I came to a small crystalline stream with soft, colorful stones under the surface. The light was pouring into that part of the forest, so the water gleamed mystically. The weather was cool, it was almost winter, the water was freezing and the air sometimes seeped through the fabrics of my white sweatshirt. Despite the absence of heat, I decided to take off my slippers and dip my bare feet into the cold water. A chill crept up my spine, my skin prickling with frozen surprise touching my body, but it was very bearable. I squatted down and touched the cool stream delicately.

    How beautiful it was to live! to be able to enjoy those little things filled the emptiness of my chest. I hadn't realized how long I've been smiling until I couldn't contain a delighted laugh. After that the feeling that something was watching me disappeared.

I walked down the river for a long time, playing with the possible paths that I could take in the water, jumping from stone to stone. Several times I wondered how far the edge of the territory would be, I did not know how big it was, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to find out. I walked until I got tired and got out of the creek.

    I lay down on the wet grass, looking at the treetops, I closed my eyes to rest, but an image of a man in a lake appeared in my mind violently, torturing my head with sharp pain, the image did not stop reproduce in my mind, a man from behind in a lake, he seemed to be a man with a muscular back and brown hair, he was about to look at me, but the image always ended there. The pain faded after a few seconds along with the memory. Maybe it was my memory wanting to come back to me, I was sure he was not the alpha, but then who was he? Was he in this mansion? What did it have to do with me? The questions returned to invade me mercilessly.

I decided to ignore those thoughts, as there was nothing I could do about it for now and I was going to enjoy the little time I was going to be away. I closed my eyes and this time, unlike the other nights, the dream came to me peacefully.

    Disoriented and confused, I opened my eyes without remembering where I was, it was night and the silence was terribly unnatural. Something was wrong, I felt it in every cell of my body. I stood up quickly not knowing where to go, I took aimless steps until the icy water hit me like a wave of consciousness. I immediately remembered where I was and my heart raced with the feeling that something was wrong. Without knowing why, my instinct screamed at me, so I ran up the river and then entered the woods, towards the clearing, I could not see anything in the dim light of the moon. As I ran, my skin prickled and I felt again the sensation of being watched, but this time it was more intense as if I was being chased, I felt the presence behind me as intense pressure on my lower back, I could clearly hear the sound of something running after me. Fear invaded my body and made my knees weak. I wanted to cry, I felt my life being taken from me, I felt that if I stopped even a little bit I would die. I ran with all my might, my legs burned and my lungs threatened to leave my chest at any moment.

    "GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed desperately at whatever was chasing me in a pathetic attempt to save my life.

    After I heard it, it was clearly a growl from some beast. May the moon goddess protect me. The beast was getting closer and closer and my feet gave up. I tripped over the root of a tree and landed on the hard earth. I quickly turned back and could only feel the beast coming towards me. I searched desperately in the dark for something to protect myself from what was coming and found a thick branch that I used as a shield. I spread it horizontally and closed my eyes expecting the worst. When I opened my eyes his huge teeth were inches from my face, the stick was between his teeth while I held him with my arms outstretched. I restrained myself from screaming, I couldn't move. I felt his breath on my neck and his growls echoed in my ears. I expected him to tear my face off at any moment, I was afraid, very afraid, what was life trying to make me suffer? f**k life and f**k death. I turned to the beast and I could see bright and thirsty red eyes, it was a wolf, a huge one and it wanted to kill me. The gray wolf pushed and bit hard on the rod that little by little was giving way to his powerful jaw as well as my arms, I felt that I had spent an eternity containing that huge beast. For an instant, I could see as if the wolf was mixing with the air in the form of smoke, but the darkness did not allow me to see well.

    "Someone helps me" I pleaded in my thoughts.

    Out of nowhere the wolf turned over my head, growled, and disappeared from above me like a soft cloud. What had I just seen? I felt a powerful new presence in that direction in which the wolf had looked. Someone had saved me, I wanted to see who, but my body refused to react. I could do nothing but see the darkness of the trees and hear the slight growl of that entity. Little by little I was able to lift my torso off the ground and turn around. In front of me appeared a huge and magnificent black wolf standing in the middle of the clearing, imposing and powerful. I still felt the fear of the attack, but something told me that he would not hurt me. My body shook with adrenaline and fell back to the ground with a bang. I was too tired to be able to get up, my eyes felt heavy. A few seconds later I could hear the footsteps of the wolf approaching and almost immediately I felt his wet nose brush against my forehead and neck. He smelled of damp earth and vanilla.