Gods & Monsters

1. Eva Mcrayne

ONE

EVA MCRAYNE

Marseille was perfect. The little town nestled on the Mediterranean coast was exactly what I had been looking for. The centuries-old house I had bought three weeks ago was exactly what I needed. Two bedrooms, one bath. It was small, but cozy. I never wanted to leave it. I breathed in the salt air as I watched the ocean smooth out against the sands beneath my balcony. The past three mornings, I'd taken my coffee out here. This morning, though, my routine had changed. I was going to meet Jonah at a cafe in town. It was within walking distance from the house, so I needed to head out a little early.

I smoothed out the skirt I was wearing before I grabbed my keys. I had twenty minutes. Plenty of time.

As I walked, I considered how much had changed in the month since I had been released from the ethereal prison I'd been thrown in. I'd gone into hiding, though I knew it wouldn't last forever. I'd squared things away at work so that I could be away for two years when I had been sentenced. Researching locations had been the cover used in the press release.

Granted, I hadn't expected to live long enough to go to jail, much less have time to enjoy what was left of my life after I was released.

I knew meeting with Jonah was a risk. If Hera were smart, she'd have people tailing him. So, when I finally broke down and called him, I had given him the address to the local cafe. I didn't want her henchmen to find out where my house was.

I waved to the florist who was opening her shop when I crossed the cobblestone streets. The old woman beamed at me, but I barely saw her. I wondered how Jonah would be when I saw him again. Would he still be with Lola? Had he moved onto someone else? Someone more serious?

I should have called him the second Ulysses dropped me off at the Parisian airport, but I couldn't bring myself to pull him into my mess. As much as I had missed him, I knew that I was doing the right thing by distancing myself from my life. I was protecting him. Protecting myself from having to say goodbye when the time came.

So, I traveled the country that had romanced me after my first trip to its shores. I spent my days talking to people throughout the small towns I had traveled to by train from Paris. Learning their stories, their histories, their ghosts. I began to construct the confidence that Eva the character was known for, but Eva the woman never really had.

I spotted Jonah sitting at a bistro table in front of the cafe and my heart flipped. He looked good. His shoulders seemed larger. His face was even more angular than before. What had he been doing the past seven months? I shook my head to chase that flutter away. Jonah had always had that effect on me. I supposed he always would, no matter how long we were separated.

"Don't you look like a sight for sore eyes?" I teased as I approached him. "Welcome to Marseille, Blueberry."

Jonah glanced up from his phone and he took a moment to look me over. Maybe it was because I'd changed my appearance, thanks to a spell Ulysses had taught me in Paris. The golden hair had been shifted to a dark auburn. The golden eyes I was famous for had been transformed to blue.

"Eva?" Jonah grinned so big, I was afraid he was going to hurt himself as he stood to pull me into his embrace. "What have you done to yourself, Superstar?"

"I'm not Eva here," I whispered in his ear. "Please, don't call me that outside."

Jonah pulled back and I could see the questions swirling in his mind, but he didn't ask them. Instead, he pulled out my chair and I thanked him for the gesture.

"I'm loving the red hair," he began as he sat back down. "It suits you."

"It's alright." I gestured to the waiter standing by the door. "It's necessary right now."

"You have me at a loss here, Superstar." He sat back as the waiter approached. Once our orders had been taken, Jonah continued. "I was wondering how you disappeared without the paparazzi all over you. The new persona must be how you did it. How's your life these days?"

"Wonderful." I leaned forward on the table. It was true. The peace and quiet I had gotten on this trip would last a lifetime. I was sure of it. "I took the train from Paris to the coast. Stayed in the smallest villages along the way. I got to Marseille three weeks ago."

"And you stayed?"

"I'm thinking about making it my permanent residence," I admitted with caution. Jonah didn't know that I wasn't sure how long “permanent” was going to be for me. "I bought a house on the beach. It's tiny, but perfect. When I'm not on the road, I can stay here."

Jonah reached across the table and linked our fingers together. He studied them before he spoke again.

"I missed you, Superstar."

"I missed you, too." I swallowed the emotion those words brought out of me. "So much."

"What should I call you now?" A small smile played at his lips. "Since you're changing everything about yourself."

"Lea Renaud," I answered automatically. I was proud of myself. I didn't grimace. I wasn't a fan of the name. Or the hair. But it was necessary. "It's ... temporary."

"Lea? I like it. Should I start calling you that all the time?"

"No. Eva in private. Lea is the name I use to hide in public." I made a face. "It's awful, but I had to do it. Otherwise, the press would catch onto me through the real estate records."

"Lea's not that bad."

"Yeah, but it's not me. It feels strange not to see myself in the mirror, you know?" I sat back as the waiter returned with our coffee. When he left, I continued. "Although, all this hiding has given me a peace I never expected to find."

"What do you mean?"

I twirled a strand of red hair around my finger and considered my response. I didn't want to bring up my time in jail. I didn't want Jonah to know I was on the run. When I had the correct phrasing, I responded. "I've come to peace with being alone. With solitude. With not having anyone around me because there's no one to please other than myself. Helps me find out who I really am. Does that make sense?"

"Makes perfect sense," Jonah said. "Back to Lea, though. I imagine playing a character when you're trying to find yourself is a little counterproductive. Did it piss you off having to wear another mask?"

"No." I stirred sugar into my coffee and Jonah smiled. "What?"

"Some things never change."

I stuck out my tongue at him. "At any rate, no, the mask didn't piss me off. It made me realize some things. Who knows? Maybe I'll keep it."

"Why?"

"Because Eva is hunted. Hated by those close to her. Heartbroken time and time again. She's the one with the history of betrayal and abuse, after all. Maybe as Lea, I can at last find people who actually want to be around me." I gave him a small smile. "Maybe this change is the death of Eva outside of Grave Messages."

"Don’t say that." Jonah took my hand again. I wondered why. "I understand why you feel that way, but that's not right. Sure, there are those who hate you, but that is more of a reflection of them than you. They resent the fact that they can't ride your glory. Whatever. And f**k Lawson for what he did. You are the beautiful one. You are the golden one. You've saved people who don't even know you have. Just be yourself. You've got more character in your index finger than they have in their entire bodies."

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't have the heart to tell him that Eva was as good as dead if I slipped up. Instead, I pulled my hand free and took another sip of coffee. "Right now, I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I have another year and change before I have to go back. Plenty of time to figure it out."

Jonah started to say my name, but I cut him off before he could.

"Enough about me. Tell me what you've been doing the past seven months."

"Training," Jonah gave a slim smile. "Hermes hooked me up … Thor - the god? He runs a survivalist course in Siberia. I spent six months there."

"That explains why you look like you're about to pop the seams of that shirt."

Jonah chuckled and I could have sworn he blushed. "Anyway, it was good for me. Let me work out a lot of anger and resentment. Reena is there now. She joined up about two months after I did.”

"Yeah? I can see you doing that. I bet you were having the time of your life, living in the woods."

"I don't know about the time of my life, but it was fun."

"Well, as for Reena, she's going to come back even more badass than ever."

"You'll see her next time you come to the estate." Jonah watched the pedestrians who walked the sidewalks beside us. "You going to come home soon?"

I'll probably never get to come home again.

I didn't say that out loud. Jonah was already suspicious. He was right to be. So I played the one card I knew he couldn't resist. "I don't think so. I am working on my own mental health, Blueberry. If I go home, I'm afraid all the bad memories will come back and disrupt my progress. But tell everyone that I miss them."

"Maybe they can come here?"

"No. No offense to anyone, but I want to keep this place to myself. It's too precious to share."

Jonah raised his eyebrows at that as I continued.

"I can't wait to hear the stories though. I'm sure Re put every man there to shame."

"She did," Jonah laughed. "She came back with me and bragged about it with no shame."

I laughed, too. It felt so strange to do such a simple action.

"Had any dates now that you're free?"

I nearly choked on my coffee at Jonah's question. It had taken me completely by surprise. "Um." I began to play with a napkin on the table. I threw my hair over my shoulder, then nodded. "I've been on a few dates with a man I met on the train to Marseille."

"Really?" Jonah's eyebrows shot up. "Is it serious?"

"I haven't slept with him, if that's what you mean." I studied the corner of the napkin I was picking at with my nails. "But it's nice to be romanced, you know? Not be a footnote in someone else's life."

"Did you go as Eva? Or Lea?"

"Lea. I always go as Lea now." I cleared my throat. "How's Lola these days?"

"Don't know."

"What?"

"I don't know." Jonah went back to focusing on his coffee. "I haven't talked to her since she moved to London."

Oh. I was about to say I was sorry, but never got the chance.

"Lea?"

We both looked up and I smiled out of habit. Pierre Bernard was absolutely dashing. Tall, thick blonde hair, perfect aristocratic face. His family was descended from the court of Louis IV, so he had money to burn. He would have been a perfect match for me except … I didn't feel anything for him.

"Pierre, what a lovely surprise!" I gave him a kiss on each cheek in greeting. "Please, meet a dear friend of mine from the States. Jonah, Pierre."

"The pleasure is all mine." Pierre kept his arm around my waist as he shook Jonah's hand. "Are you familiar with France?"

"Not as much as I'd like to be." Jonah's smile was tight when he returned the man's handshake. "Tell me, how do you know ... Lea?"

"We met on the train into town." Pierre gave me another dazzling smile before he turned back to Jonah. "She was most curious about the area."

"I'll bet."

"Shall I call you later? We have much to discuss about the gala next week."

"Sure." I smiled again when Pierre kissed the back of my hand. "Sounds like fun."

Pierre bowed, then waved goodbye to Jonah before he disappeared into the crowd. Jonah watched Pierre leave with a dark look until I playfully slapped his hand.

"Stop it. He's nice."

"Uh-huh. I find it funny that he just happened to be passing by this cafe at this particular moment."

"It's not uncommon," I explained. "Marseille is very small. You'll run into the same people over and over again."

"What's this gala?"

"It's for one of his wineries in Milan. Still have to find something to wear though."

"You should wear a gold dress," Jonah suggested and I looked up. Was he really giving me fashion advice for a date? "Goes well with the auburn hair. Or something black."

"Black? It's formal, but not a funeral."

"May as well be. You're going to be bored out of your mind."

"I'll have you know that I considered the gold dress I wore to the Emmys the other year," I admitted. "But it would be too recognizable. I think I'll find something similar to that style though. Maybe Apollo can send me one in green."

"Green?"

"Yeah. Something to go with this awful hair color."

"So, is he ethereal, immortal, or tenth?"

"Tenth." I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as I tried to figure out how to change the subject. "He's nice. Good company."

"Hmm." Jonah beckoned to the waiter for a refill. "How long before you tell him the truth?"

"What truth?"

"About who you really are." Jonah studied me with a veiled expression. I hated it when he did that. "You can't keep the facade up forever."

"I haven't decided yet. Maybe I'll never tell him. Maybe he'll just wine me, dine me, screw me, and never be the wiser."

"Screw you, huh?" Jonah snorted. "Sounds like a plan, Superstar. You've been on the internet getting tips or something?"

"Nope. No need."

"What does that mean?"

"I've fooled around." I shrugged. "Nothing farther than third base, but I'm trying to learn."

"Third?"

"Yeah."

"With him?" Jonah stared at me in shock. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. It wasn't anything more than ... than third."

"You said you didn't sleep with him."

"I didn't. We had our date, went back to his place, fooled around, and I left." I frowned a little. "I was expecting more fireworks, but I guess I have to work up to that."