Diehard Desire

Ivannah

He didn't come back. He never did. 

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months. Months into years. Yet, there was no sign of him. With every passing season, she lost hope of him ever returning. 

He made a complementary call for the first couple of months but stopped eventually. It was like they didn't exist for each other at all. Like he didn't even care if she lived or died. 

Then she reminded herself that he had adopted her. There must be some part of him that cared about her, right? 

She knew it was all just false hope she gave herself. If he had cared at all, he would have made an effort to talk to her, to meet her, to get to know her. Instead he brought her there with him and left her. 

He did leave her with something, something invaluable. An unending loneliness. 

He didn't allow her to join normal school. Instead, he had the best tutors in the country appointed to give her the education she needed. That did give her an opportunity to learn, to gain knowledge, without any distraction but that was all just bookish. 

She had near to no experience in the outside world. 

Her only friend was Iris-the oldest daughter of Grace, the caretaker, head of staff and Ivannah's early governess and Frank, who managed the overall mansion and also owned a bakery in town. 

Iris and her did everything together. Atleast Ivy did everything with her. After all, Iris was a normal teenager going to a normal school with a normal life. While Ivy had been caged in the mansion for years. 

Everyday, after Iris left to go to her school to her friends, Ivy was left to wait for her only friend to arrive. All the free time she had was spend helping the house staff and talking to them about anything and everything. 

Her days and nights were all the same. Filled with unnerving silence. 

Her only source of entertainment was when Iris told her about her day at school. About her friends, the nerds, the jocks, the bullies, the teachers. During that time, Ivy put all her attention to each and every one of her words. 

Sometimes she found herself wondering what she would be called if she went to a normal school. Was she the nerd-type or the cheerleader type? Would she be the mean girl or the weird girl? Or whether she would fit in at all or not. 

Ivy sighed heavily again and shaked her head to get rid of her depressing thoughts. 

She again tried to concentrate on her advanced Calculas homework. Her tutor was due in the morning but she found her thoughts drifting away again and again. 

For some unexplainable reason, she had an unsettling feeling in her stomach since the past few days. She brushed it off as her nerves and anxiety. 

It was almost the end of autumn and winter was approaching sooner than she had anticipated. The weather was slightly chilly as she watched dry leaves flying with the gentle breeze. 

Her study room was located just opposite to her bedroom and had a beautiful view of the back garden while her bedroom overlooked the very front of the beautiful mansion. 

During her long, agonising ten years in the place, she had developed a special love towards flora. She loved spending her time in the garden and tending to the beautiful plants. 

She shaked her head for the millionth time that day. A few strands of her blonde hair escaped from the bun she had put it in at the top of her head. 

She removed the strands from her face, annoyed at herself. No matter how much she tried, she just couldn't focus her attention on her textbook. It was frustrating beyond imagination. 

Ivy slammed the book shut and removed the reading glasses from the bridge of her nose. She hid her face in her palms and groaned at her incompetency. 

She decided she needed to freshen up a little to get her head straight again. Ivy stood up from her seat and stretched her aching muscles. She turned around and stared at her reflection in the mirror at her side. 

She knew she was above average in appearance but couldn't get herself to care about it at all. Beautiful or not, she led a miserable life. Only the kindest and most miserable of souls would call it a life at all. 

Ivy ran her hand through her thick hair that easily reached beyond her derriere. She had a pale complexion with small freckles scattered over her button nose. 

Her lips were a soft pink like petals of a flower and equally soft due to all the expensive lotions and balms she was provided with. Her eyes were a deep, sapphire blue that were framed by thick, long eyelashes. 

But looks were petty. It didn't matter to her that she was beautiful. It's not like anyone ever saw her. 

The only time she was allowed out of the house was once or twice every month to buy necessary things for herself and maybe see some new faces before she turned completely insane. 

The guards took her to the shopping centre in the town for those occasions but didn't leave her side even for a second. She didn't understand why they were protecting her like she was the president. 

What angered her the most was that the man who paid for all of her things, all of the luxuries, never even bothered to contact her. 

She felt like a secret mistress instead of his adopted ward. He made her feel disgusted in herself. 

Ivy wasn't too worried about it anymore though. Her eighteenth birthday was around the corner and then she would finally be free. 

After all, he couldn't keep her caged here once she was legal. She could take her own decisions and finally be able to get out of her prison and take admission in a university far away from here. 

That was the only thing on her mind for months. She searched for the best universities in other states far away from where she was right now. 

Ivy shortlisted them very carefully and interpreted what qualities were required for her to get in. She weighed all the pros and cons very carefully to make a level-headed decision. She didn't want to rush anything. This was the rest of her life she was thinking about. 

At the top of her list was Riverdale. It was a top rated university, not just in the country but across the whole globe. 

Riverdale also happened to have one of the best Economic's programmes among all the universities she had looked into and it was exactly what she wished to study. 

She silently admitted that it was only half a reason why she chose Riverdale over the others. The university was situated in Florestan, a city located on the other side of the country. 

It would give her enough of a reason to stay away from this place and him for the rest of her life. 

For the first time since the morning, a genuine smile made it's way onto her lips. She was estastic by the thought of moving away but she knew she would miss the kind staff that had been taking care of her for all these years. 

They all had raised her like she was their own child. Especially Grace and Frank. They treated her no different than their own daughters, Iris and Elena. 

And Iris, Ivy laughed at the thought of the crazy girl. Iris had grown up to be as gorgeous as Grace. The same chocolatey skin, dark eyes, unruly hair but the similarities between the two ended right there. 

Unlike Grace, Iris was outspoken, rebellious and a complete social butterfly. Her friend-making skills were beyond Ivy. So were her enemy-making skills. But that was the thing about Iris that she admired and loved the most. 

Iris never hid anything from anyone. If she had something on her mind than you sure as hell would hear her say it bluntly on your face. She just didn't have a filter between her mind and brain. 

Elena on the other hand was a sweetheart. At 7 years old, she was as loving and nurturing soul as her mother. So much so that sometimes the staff lovingly called her 'little mum'. 

The girl was a blessing not just for Grace and Frank but for Ivy as well. Sometimes Ivy found herself spending more time with her than anyone else in the house. 

Elena was the little sister that Ivy always wished for but never had. 

Ivy's thoughts were cut short when she heard someone opening the door to her study room with so much force that the hinges rattled. Ivy looked wide-eyed at the intruder. 

Clad in black jeans and red shirt with a black, leather jacket and boots stood Iris. Her curly hair was all over the place as she glared maliciously at Ivy. After running her eyes over Ivy's slim form, Iris sighed rather dramatically. 

"Really? Again, Ivy?" Iris said as she entered the room and closed the door behind her with another loud thud. 

She made herself comfortable at the seat beside the window before looking at Ivy's confused face with a poker face. 

"Again what?" Ivy questioned, not getting the meaning behind Iris's words. The girl was completely unpredictable in Ivannah's eyes. 

"You are studying, again. That's all you ever do." Iris whined in annoyance while stomping her feet on the floor like a child. 

"No, that's not true. I do other things." Ivy said defensively while fixing her knee length dress in the mirror. She knew that Iris was partly correct but didn't want to admit that infront of her. 

"Yeah, right. You do other stuffs like-cooking, baking, gardening or reading books from the 18th century in the library. Yes Ivy, you do stuff that my grandma does," Iris said sarcastically. 

"You are a 17, soon-to-be 18 year old teenager with the routine of a 70 year old grandmother." Iris said in with pure exaggeration. 

Ivy scrowled at Iris before marching to sit beside of her in the vacant seat. She tried to suppress the need to to stick her tongue out at her apparent best friend but dismissed it as childish. 

It wasn't like Iris was wrong. Infact she was one hundred percent right. Ivy didn't have any social life, unlike Iris. She just didn't fit in with anyone. And wasn't like she had any options infront of her. Ivy's scrowl deepened upon hearing Iris's laughter. 

"By any chance do you think you look scary when you do that?" Iris said in between laughter, "Because let me make it clear. You look like a puppy. And puppies aren't scary, they are cute." Iris said before pinching Ivy's cheek. 

Ivy slapped away Iris's hand before relaxing back in her seat. It felt good like this. Laughing and joking around with her friend. It almost felt normal. She knew better than to expect it to last too long. 

Nothing good ever lasted for her for too long. 

Every time she was just a little happier with someone, almost as if they would stay forever with her, they left. She didn't want that the same to happen with the new family she had made. 

The thought scared her immensely. 

Iris's laugh died down slowly upon seeing her friend's nonchalant form. She clapped her hands together to get Ivy's attention before smirking at her deviously. 

"You know you are really lucky Ivy?" Iris said making Ivy raise one quizzical brow in question, "I mean, you don't even need to go to hell, AKA, high school. Your life is my definition of heaven. No school drama, no demons for teachers and no slutty bitches." Iris explained making Ivy scoff sarcastically. 

"Want to switch places with me." Ivy replied simply before looking out the window at the courtyard. 

When Iris realised the change in Ivy's behaviour she cursed herself under her breath and rubbed her head in frustration on being unable to cheer her up. Everyday she saw her friend becoming more and more closed off and it was making her anxious. 

Every passing day Ivy laughed less, smiled less and talked less. It was like she was drifting apart from everyone slowly. Just like she had been when she first got there. And it clearly wasn't a good sign. 

"So, what are you planning for your big day, girlfriend?" Iris asked, hoping to divert her attention to something exciting and cheer her up a little bit. 

"Nothing much. I'll probably stay in and do something productive." Ivy replied before giving her a small smile. 

"Absolutely not. You stay in and do something productive every day. Come on, 18th birthday comes only once in a lifetime. You cannot waste it like that. You are going to be a big girl. You have to do something fun." Iris said pleadingly to her friend. 

Ivy chuckled at her friend's excitement when she felt anything but excited. She never liked celebrating her birthday. They were just a waste of money and time. It's not like she had anyone to share her big day with. 

The staff were good and Ivannah absolutely adored them all but the person she wanted to be there for her would never show up. She knew that. 

He would probably send a birthday card and money to her just like he did every other year. She didn't want the false affection he showered her with his money and wealth. 

Iris understood what was going through Ivannah's head immediately. The boss had never showed up after leaving her there almost 10 years ago. At first he used to call to talk to her once a month but for some unknown reason, he stopped those as well. 

He only send money to Grace every year to prepare for Ivy's birthday but didn't even bother calling her and wishing her himself. 

He was a pathetic man indeed, Iris thought bitterly. She felt a burning hatred for him upon seeing her best friend sad. Iris put it all aside all her hard feelings for him as she tried to convince her friend to give him a call herself. 

"Look Ivy, I know that you don't feel like it but maybe you could call him yourself. Demand for him to be here on your birthday. It's not like he can avoid you forever." Iris said hopefully as she make Ivy look at her in the eyes. 

"Yes, it's not like he has avoided me for the past 10 years." Ivy said sarcastically before standing up from her seat. 

Ivannah had enough of people treating her like a fragile piece of glass. She understood they thought she was emotionally fragile due to the lack of a parental figure in her life. But Ivannah Montgomery wasn't fragile. 

She was capable of taking care of herself. 

"Okay, okay. I rest my case, my lord. But I've something important to tell you. There's this party that one of my classmate's throwing this weekend. It's going to be epic. And I want you to come with me." 

Iris was bouncing in her seat due to the excitement of taking Ivy for her first high school party. 

"Party? I don't know Iris. I mean I don't even know anyone there. I don't think..." Ivy stated nervously trying to come up with some reasonable excuse to convince the girl. 

One thing Ivannah knew was that if Iris had made up her mind on something than Jesus christ himself wouldn't be able to stop her. 

"Don't complete that sentence." Iris interrupted Ivy mid-sentence. 

"You know me, don't you, Ivy? Then you don't need to know anyone else. Oh come on it'll be fun. And I promise to never leave your side even for a second." Iris said pushing out her bottom lip in a pout and batting her eyelashes. 

Ivy nodded her head in defeat making Iris jump up and hug her with a sequel of pure joy. 

"If you girls are done than mom is calling everyone downstairs for dinner." Elena said, suddenly appearing at the doorway with a hand on her hip. She gave them both a stern look before turning around on her heels and marching downstairs. 

"Gosh! Sometimes I feel like she is more my mother than my own mom." Iris said with a scrunched nose making Ivy's laugh to echo in the room. 

Ivy happily hooked her arm in Iris's before she started her way to the dining space. There were two dining spaces in the mansion. One was where they were headed and the other was always closed. 

Grace had once informed Ivy that only the master of the house had dinner in the grand dining room and it was only used when he visited. No-one else was allowed there without his permission. 

Since he hadn't visited ever since Ivy came to live there, Ivy had no chance of exploring the room. Another waste of money and space, she thought. Why waste money on something you are not going to use anyways. 

Ivy and Iris entered the dining area to see everyone chatting among themselves. Laughter was always the key element of all of these times they all spend together. 

An involuntary grin took over her lips as she saw everyone talking among themselves. She dragged Iris with her as she moved around the huge room packed completely with people. 

"Hello Zoya, you are looking beautiful today." Ivy complemented the middle-aged women with a hijab around her head. Zoya laughed at the girl's words and thanked her. 

"Hey Jose, looks like you already have the eight packs you wanted." She said to the huge man putting some plates on the long dining table at one side. 

"Halfway there, Ivy." The guard replied while puffing out his chest even further. 

Iris kept grumbling beside Ivy as she greeted everyone in the staff. Iris couldn't explain how Ivy could be mourning one moment and then cheer everyone up the other, except saying that Iris was a precious person. 

Not just from outside but from inside as well. 

She was their ray if sunshine even when she didn't realise that herself. Finally, their long adventure came to a halt when Ivy stopped infront of Grace and Elena carrying food to the long table in the centre. 

"Here, let me help you." Ivy offered and took the food container from Grace's hand and took it to the table herself. 

"Thank you, darling. You are a true blessing." Grace said looking at her affectionately. 

Even though Grace was in her mid-40s, she didn't look a day older than 30. Grace and Frank had aged like fine wine. 

Just that moment Frank came from behind Grace and held onto her waist. She turned her head and gave her husband a loving peck on the lips. Their two daughters playfully making puking sounds in the background. 

Ivy looked at all of it with a sad smile on her lips as she found herself wondering what her life would have been like if her parents were alive? Would she have a little sibling just like Elena? 

Would they had have been a happy together just like the family infront of her? It pained her to think that she would never know. It was all just a fantasy she could conjure in her head for the rest of her life with no outcome. 

"Hey kiddo, where are you? Is everything all right?" Frank said from beside Ivy as he lightly shaked her shoulder. 

Ivy blinked away the tears from her eyes and smiled up at Frank. He returned an unsure smile himself and gave her a side hug before pecking her forehead. Ivy could see her father in him. Loving but stern. 

They all say down together at the table and started filling their plates with piles of food. Ivy put some spaghetti into her own plate and waited for others to be done. 

Everyone waited impatiently as Drake, one of the guard's son kept filling his plate with any dish he could get his chubby, little hands on. 

Ivy smiled as she saw Drake's cheek became a light shade of pink in embarrassment. Yet he put his main priority above everything else. His hunger. 

"Are you done?" Iris rudely asked him from beside Iris making Drake look up wide eyed before gulping nervously in embarrassment. Ivy slapped Iris's arm with her palm at her behaviour and intimidating the poor kid. 

"Stop being so mean all the time, Iris." Ivy said as she thinned her lips. 

"So you want me to stop being myself." Iris stated before turning towards Drake with a sickly sweet, artificial smile, "Drake, baby, do you want more food, Sweetheart?" Iris said in a nauseatingly sweet voice making Ivy stifle her laughter behind her palm. 

"No-No, I-I'm g-good." Drake said while wiping the presipitation from his forehead. 

Ivannah immediately felt bad for the poor kid and smiled at him to reassure him and watched him as he relaxed a little bit and smiled back at her. 

"Thank you for the food." Everyone said in unison before digging into their meals. 

Ivy took a bite of the mouth watering spaghetti in her mouth and moaned at the burst of flavours. She savoured the taste of deliciousness on her taste buds as she devoured every bite she took. 

"So Ivy, what did you do the entire day?" Frank asked from across from Ivannah, making her head snap to look up at him. Grace too looked at her curiously as she waited for Ivy's answer. 

"Nothing much. Just the usual. Studying." She replied after clearing her throat when suddenly the thought stuck to her mind. 

"Actually, me and Iris were going to a par... Ow-" Ivy shouted in pain as she felt a sharp kick on her leg under the table. 

She immediately looked up at Iris questionably to see her glaring at her and turned around in fear. She smiled apologetically at everyone at the table as they all stopped eating and looked at her worridely. 

"Are you all right, Ivannah?" Grace asked, looking at her with worry shimmering in her motherly eyes. 

"Yeah, never felt better." Ivy said with a huge grin on her face and picked up the spoon to fill her mouth with spaghetti to get away from the awkward silence. 

"Okay. Then what were you saying? Where are you and Iris going?" Frank asked and turned looked at her face questioningly. Ivannah tried to think of something while slowly chewing the food in her mouth. 

"Shopping spree. Me and Ivy were thinking of going on a shopping spree. You know, choosing clothes for our University wardrobe." Iris said before snaking her hand around Ivy's shoulder and squeezing. 

Ivy just nodded along her head with her mouth full and gave them a tight lipped smile. 

"Oh yeah, from university I remembered, what subjects are you choosing, Ivy?" Grace asked as Ivannah swallowed the bite and took a sip of her water. 

"Politics, Physics and Economics." Ivy said with a small smile on her face and looked at Grace's proud eyes. Almost as if she were her own mother. 

"That's great, Ivy. We are all so proud of you." Frank commented and turned his attention to his own daughter next, "And you Iris, what are you thinking about doing?" Frank asked his daughter with interest. 

"She? If only there was a University for sleeping and laziness. Iris would have surely be at the top of her classes, Papa." Elena cut Iris before she could even say a word. 

Everyone around them laughed except Iris. She just glared at her sibling and chewed her food furiously. 

After the laughter died down, everyone went back to their food. Everyone except Grace. She looked at Ivy sadly as she thought of the day she first saw the kid. 

At the time her eyes glowed with hope and happiness but now ten years later, her eyes were slowly losing their essence. 

Grace had tried everything in her reach to keep her innocent soul happy but she knew it was beyond her. No matter how bad Ivannah had been aggrieved by the boss, she knew he was the only one that could bring back her happiness. 

Grace took a deep breath and started. 

"Ivy, my dear, your birthday is fast approaching next month. What are your plans for the day?" Grace asked in a motherly voice. Ivy looked up from her food and shrugged nonchalantly. 

"I haven't planned anything, Grace." She said with another shrug of her shoulders. She had not planned anything and didn't have any plans to do so in the near future either. 

"Darling, I've been thinking something lately. Do you mind if I tell you?" Grace asked making Ivy nod her head and a smile in approval. 

"I'm thinking maybe you should call the master yourself and ask for him to be here for your big day?" Grace watched the smile leave Ivy's lips all together. The whole room was silent as they waited with bated breaths for Ivannah's answer. 

No-one had ever brought up the master infront of Ivannah before. They had no idea what would be her reaction. 

"I-I don't know, Grace. I don't know if I should. I mean I have no idea how he would react or if he would want to talk to me at all. I mean, can't you give him the invitation instead of me?" Ivy said pleadingly. 

She was sure Mr Salvatore wanted nothing to do with her at all. What other reasons could he have for ignoring her existence all these years. 

"Believe it or not, sweetheart, we all have already tried that. One of us has contacted him each year and asked him to come see you but he..." Grace stopped upon seeing the broken look on Ivy's face.

"Refused." Ivy completed the sentence for Grace and look down at her conjoined fingers in her lap. 

"You already have the answer, Grace." Ivy said before removing the napkin from her lap and putting it on the table beside her half eaten plate of food. 

"Do whatever you feel like Ivy. It will be completely your decision." Grace said as Ivannah stand still politely to let her speak. 

"However, something tells me that if there is a person in this world that can change him, it's you." Grace said, making Ivannah turn to look at her with glossy eyes before she fled out of the room. 

She locked herself in her room for the rest of the night. Iris and Grace came to check on her but she didn't wish to see anyone at all. She just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Grace was wrong. Ivannah knew Grace was wrong. 

No-one could change Hades Salvatore. She had heard stories about him from the staff and knew what a cruel, heartless and insensitive man he was. He would never change for anyone. Not even for his adoptive ward. 

Yet, Ivannah held her phone in her hand with his name on the screen. She was just one click away from dialing his number and finally talking to him. She didn't know what she would say to him. 

What will she talk to him about? 

Her finger neared the dial button before retracing back the millionth time that night. She was told only to call him during emergencies. What was an emergency anyway? 

Would he consider this an emergency? She shaked her head to get rid of her thoughts and clicked on the dial button with determination. She bought the phone close to her ear and heard the ring on the other end. 

Ring. Ring. Ring. 

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"You have reached the voice message of Hades Salvatore. Leave a message if it's something urgent. You will be contacted by Mr Salvatore when he is not occupied. Leave your message after the beep." 

"Beep." An automated, feminine voice said from the speaker of Ivannah's phone followed by a beeping noise. Ivannah sighed heavily before slowly removing the phone from her ear. 

It suddenly occured to Ivannah how convenient the situation was for her. It would be better leaving a voice message instead of talking to him personally. At least she wouldn't hear his voice and reaction. 

Ivannah slowly brought the phone back to her ear and mouth. 

"H-hello," Ivannah's voice cracked and she cleared her throat before continuing, "H-Hello, it's me, Ivannah?" She stopped for a beat. Thinking what to say next. 

"I-I'm sorry if I'm d-dis-disturbing you a-and taking too-too much of your time. I just call-called to tell you th-that it-it's my birthday next m-month." Ivannah continued slowly. 

"D-do you think y-you would be a-able to make i-it around during t-this time? I would like it if you did..." Ivannah almost patted herself for saying at least one sentence without stuttering. 

"A-anyways, I've applied at different universities f-for my ad-admission. I think I w-will..."

Beep. 

Ivannah's words were cut short by the same beeping noise. She smacked herself in annoyance and wished for the earth to open up and swallow her. 

She just wanted to erase the last few embarrassing moments from existence and forget about her awful stuttering. 

Now, he would think that she had some kind of speaking disorder. Ivannah hid her face in a pillow and screamed in frustration. She had just made a fool of herself. 

Even though she knew very well that he would never show up. No-one has been able to convince him in the last 10 years, what could a voice message with a stuttering fool possibly change? 

He would never come. Ivannah knew that.