The Love That Never Chose Me

Chapter Three:Maybe They’re At Fault

Salma’s POV

“Salma, if you fail this particular exam, I wouldn’t exactly be surprised.”

I look up from my notes, and Pragya is staring at me.

Joanna is trying so hard not to burst into laughter.

“And why would I fail?” I ask.

Pragya points at my notebook.

“You’ve been staring at the same page for ten minutes.”

I look back at my notes to confirm. I’ve been on the same new topic since we had our last break for snacking.

“I’ve been studying. Just started thinking now.”

“You’ve been daydreaming.”

“Same thing.”

Joanna chips in like she was asked to.

“It is not.”

Joanna laughs out loud.

But the glare from both of us makes her stop.

We’re sitting in one of the study rooms on campus, surrounded by notebooks, snacks, and enough exam pressure.

The exams are approaching too soon, because when did we just resume?

I tap my pen against the desk.

“Can we please focus?”

“We’ve been focusing for two hours,” Joanna says. “My brain deserves rest.”

Pragya nods dramatically.

I roll my eyes at them.

“Both of you are ridiculous.”

A few minutes pass before the conversation drifts away from studying completely. It always does.

Somehow, Mena’s name comes up.

I instantly regret mentioning him.

Pragya drops her pen like it’s Mena.

“That guy?”

I sigh.

“Please.”

“No. Because I’m still stuck on the fact that he ignored you for four days.”

“That was not exactly it.”

Joanna raises an eyebrow.

“Well, it seemed like that to me.”

Joanna laughs from beside her. Traitor.

“He was upset.”

Pragya looks horrified.

“Come on now, are you his lawyer?”

“I’m just saying there were two sides.”

They both give me a stare that makes me wish I kept my mouth shut.

“All I know is one side ignored their girlfriend for four days.”

I groan. Here we go again.

“You guys are making it sound worse than it was.”

The look Joanna gives me says she disagrees completely.

“Can you just hear yourself?”

I act like I have no idea.

“You’re defending him again.”

She sighs out of frustration, and leans back into her chair.

“So if someone did that to me,” Pragya says, “you’d tell me it was normal?”

I open my mouth. Then close it. Because no, I wouldn’t.

But somehow things always feel different when it’s my own relationship.

The room goes quiet for a moment, then Joanna speaks.

“And how did the date go?”

I pretend to not hear them, but Joanna catches it.

“No way he messed up again, Salma.”

I can’t even try to defend him right now.

“His friends were there.”

I finally speak up.

“And they embarrassed you.”

Pragya speaks for me.

Those guys can be clowns and she knows that.

“Would you tell your sister to sit with this, if it was her in this situation?” Pragya adds.

I know myself too well, so I don’t bother speaking.

But at the same time, look at me. Accepting the same thing, I wouldn’t want for someone else.

Joanna sighs.

“Look, Salma. If you’re happy, you’re happy.”

The way she says it makes me feel like she doesn’t believe it.

Pragya clearly doesn’t.

Thankfully, the study session ends before the conversation can continue.

We pack our things and head our separate ways.

The entire walk home, their words stay in my head.

Unfortunately.

By the time I get home, my phone is ringing.

Mena.

I reluctantly answer the phone.

“Hey.”

“Hey, stranger,” I say, then I scoff.

“You literally spoke to me yesterday.”

He tries to make me laugh.

“I’m not in the mood for jokes, so just talk,” I snap.

“Okay, Salma. About yesterday, you took it too personally, and I couldn’t say more than I did,” he blurts out.

“Oh really? Why? I felt so helpless,” I say as I sniff.

“It wasn’t my intention to embarrass you.”

“But you did,” I clap back at him.

“My friends were there, and I didn’t want them to see me as weak.”

What? He’s not even considering me.

“And me?” I ask, before I go numb.

“You know this doesn’t reduce my love for you in any way. It’s you I really want.”

A tiny smile appears on my face before I can stop it.

“You know I don’t like it when we fight. I just miss my woman,” he adds.

“It won’t happen again?” I ask.

“Yes ma’am,” he responds.

“Your week? How has it been?”

I ask with curiosity.

“Gosh, you don’t even want to hear it.”

He sounds so extra.

“Tell me about it.”

“You remember my friend Ken, yeah?”

Of course, I do.

He’s so annoying.

“Yes, the one who thinks school is a chore yeah?”

“Come on Salma, he’s not all bad.”

He’s holding his laugh in and it’s so obvious.

“I hear you. Bro doesn’t even know most of his course codes.”

“Well, he has been hosting study sessions at his house for the whole week.”

He should be joking.

“Are you serious?”

I’m finding it so hard to believe him.

“Mhm. I don’t know who spoke to him, but the person did their big one.”

I totally agree.

“What are we doing after your exams?” he asks.

“We?”

“Obviously we.”

I act like I’m not happy with the statement.

“I don’t know.”

“That’s the problem.”

“What problem?”

“You never have plans.”

I gasp dramatically.

“I have plans.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Name one.”

I pause.

“Exactly,” he says.

I hate that he’s right.

“We should actually go somewhere this summer.”

“Like where?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere nice.”

“Very specific.”

“Thank you.”

I laugh.

“I’m being serious though.”

He sounds warmer now.

“Just us. Maybe we would invite our friends the next time.”

This is the version of us, I’ve missed.

The conversation continues for almost another hour.

We talk about different things. Outfits. Dates. Ken’s sudden change.

By the time we hang up, my cheeks hurt from smiling.

I start touching my stuffed animal after the call ends.

The room is too quiet, but my mind isn’t.

Because now I’m thinking. Again.

Maybe everyone is being too harsh.

Maybe relationships can be complicated, but they don’t just understand that part.

Nobody talks about the good moments. The small things.

Maybe four days of silence isn’t enough to define an entire relationship.

I pull my blanket closer.

The more I think about the call, the more distant the argument feels. Like it happened ages ago.

It doesn’t even feel real.

Everyone is probably seeing something I’m not.

The family group chat becomes active later that evening.

And by active, I mean completely out of control.

I can barely keep up with the messages. Everyone is saying something.

The engagement party is officially the most important event in everyone’s life according to the group chat.

So much chaos.

And Jolene is responsible for most of it. She goes…

“I’m wearing pink.”

Three seconds later:

“Actually no.”

Then:

“Wait. What if I wear green?”

A minute later:

“Green hates me.”

I burst out laughing.

Almost immediately, another message appears.

Jolene: “There’s someone bearing Salma here right?

Jolene: “She needs to save me from my horrible taste in clothes.

Me: “You can’t be saved.”

Several laughing emojis flood the chat.

Aunt Kira then sends a voice note. A very long voice note. A voice note that could honestly qualify as a podcast episode.

She talks about how she has been waiting for this day. I get it though. It’s a wholesome feeling.

“Hold on guys, my fiancé is calling me right now.”

That part got me a bit emotional. My aunt would have her home now. I’m so happy for her.

The entire chat turns into discussions about dresses, shoes, makeup, hairstyles, transportation, and arrival times.

The ladies want to use the same makeup artist, while the guys want the same salon.

For the first time all day, I’m not thinking about relationships completely.

I just enjoy myself. The teasing. The laughter.The ridiculous arguments.

It feels nice.

A few days later, Tammy drags me to go shopping with her.

“Carry your legs Salma.”

“I’m legit walking.”

“Barely.”

She’s so sassy.

We get into the store, and my eyes can’t stop wandering.

How did Tammy even find this place? It’s beautiful.

We start trying on dresses.

We reject most of them.

We laugh at them too, like we could even make one.

After some time, a dress catches Tammy’s eyes.

“I really like this one, it’s pretty.”

“Put that down.”

“Why?”

“It‘s ugly.”

She gives me a pinch.

“Sorry, I just had to say it.”

I wince in pain.

“I’d really like to wear that,” I say while staring at a dress that is speaking to me.

“What? You barely like that design,” she pitches in.

“Mena picked it.”

“Oh, of course he did.”

She’s annoyed.

But she doesn’t want things to escalate.

“I just hope he’s treating you better now.”

I get what she means.

“Yes ma’am.”

She looks at me for a second.

Then nods.

The call I get from Mum releases the tension in the air.

“You both can come home now, I already have something for Tammy that she would like.”

I tell it to her, and she starts squeaking in excitement.

Because Mum’s taste matches hers.

We start heading home after I pay for my dress.

I decide to check the invitation one more time before going to bed.

My eyes stop on the venue.

For some reason, the name rings a bell.

I stare at it. Trying to place where I’ve seen it before.

The answer feels close, but I can’t reach it.

A small frown settles on my face.

I toss my phone onto the bed.

I’m probably overthinking again.

I do that a lot.

The engagement party is still days away anyway.

It’s just a family event.

A chance to dress up, eat good food, and listen to relatives ask unnecessary questions.

I switch off my bedside lamp, and pull the blanket over my body.

That strange feeling lingers for a few more seconds.

Then I convince myself it’s nothing.

Eventually, sleep takes over.