CHAPTER ONE
1061 Words
Everyday I loose pieces of myself, looking back to a couple of days ago, I found myself lost in the “whys” of my previous love or was it just a fling?
I wonder a lot what has gone wrong like wasn't I enough? Why did he stop answering my messages, I knew this isn't the first time but this isn't just a “give me some break” this is a real break up.
Days and months passed and I still can't stop wondering why we didn't work and why am I still hypnotized to the sound his footsteps made the last time we met.
Looking back to a couple of months ago I found myself rummaging through the remains trying so hard to decipher the meaning behind everything he does, why one minute he loves me and then next minute he doesn't, why one minute he is a book free to open and to read and next he is a closed door with a lost key. I keep telling myself back then that he was only shy of his love, unknown to me he is just a monster living in a human body.
I gave him all of my love, time, sacrifice, everything and he threw them all away like they are just a piece of trash,he left my heart broken and empty.
I know I have to let it go since the only person I have left is in me, I have lost myself in him, I should be use to this but the problem is I had hope to find myself in him.
THREE YEARS AGO
“Cindy can you pass me a glass of water ”
“yeah sure ”she said and brought me the water.
“Thank you ”I collected the water and drank it slowly as said by my doctor because I have a heart problem and I can't rush water so the hole in my heart won't get bigger.
I will be going for a heart surgery soon if sister Betty gets the money she is waiting for, it is actually going to be a donation, in here we live by donations.
I became an orphan at seven years and was brought here, at first it felt like hell but now it good not like perfect but it worth living in.
Cindy is my best friend, we've been together since I was nine, she got here two years after me, she was five looking so helpless and alone back then I pitied her and decide to get close to her and help her with some things.
We have people taking care of us here but my favorite is sister Betty because she is more fascinating, she is just like the mother sent to me after I lost one and I was also sent a kid sister Cindy,so I guess after all life collected my family from me and gave me those lovely two except that I don't have anyone to be my lost dad but that not a big deal.
A lot of people envy me here because am a free girl and a very obedient type, which made our guardian cherish me, the only bad thing I have is my heart problem case and my doctor said it is a family illness.
I wonder why a family could ever have a bad illness like that but I don't hate my parents for it because I love them so much.
I can remember vividly how happy I was with them, my mum tells me countless of times how proud she is to have a lovely daughter like me and my dad always there for me, I play with dad a lot and I miss them so much.
My mates in here adore me a lot because of how confident I can be and how flawless I look but it really drive some crazy, bit those are people that beef me like my haters, I realise there is no way you will be living in this earth without having some people to hate you.
My name is Martina but I really don't like the way people call it not everyone but some call me maltina and that makes me hates the name.
That wasn't the name my parents gave to me though, my real name is Heather and I don't think I like that either
Seriously I don't get the reason why they give us name without our concept, at least they are meant to sit us down and ask of the name we want to be called but instead as soon as you get here they change your name immediately.
“Mart, I have a big gist and a good news for you” Cindy said as she enters the room
“oh my God are you serious what's that?”I said sitting up very anxious about the gist,we are four in the room but different beds and Cindy's bed is beside mine.
“I knew you will jump at the sound of gist” she said well you can say she knows me well.
“Of course, since that's my hobby ”I said smiling
“First the gist is that I overheard sister Betty talking to someone on the phone and after she ends the call I concluded it myself and am guessing the money for your operation has been paid” she said and continue
“The good news is that Adrian will be coming today” after she said this I felt a pinch in my stomach
“oh my god” I kept my eyes on Cindy not knowing what else to say, I really can't express my feelings right now.
“Martina breath, don't complicate everything ”
“oh uhm that's right you know for a moment I forget how to breath”
“it a good thing am here to remind you ”
“you know am just so happy”
“yeah you should be, I would have jump all around this room if I was you”
“yeah and about Adrian, how do I see him”
“when did you start caring about how to see him, you should know I will take care of that” she said and we both laugh.
- Writer
