Howl Against Fate and Defied Destiny.

Ashes Of The Past, Shadow Of The Future

CHAPTER FOUR

Ashes Of The Past, Shadow Of The Future

After spending the better part of the night crying my eyes out and ignoring the incessant knocks on my door, I was up and about relatively early the next morning. Because as much as I wanted to remain in bed moping and drowning in self-pity, I had my responsibilities to the pack.

Nathan's continued absence carved a hole in my chest. I could hardly believe he didn't even attempt to explain himself after the fiasco last night. Sometime during the night, my stepmother had knocked on my door, but I'd ignored her. She must have heard what happened from the other pack members since she hadn't been at the campfire last night. She'd been tending to my dad, whose illness was slowly getting worse.

I didn't care the least about my appearance, so I headed to the gym where I knew Nathan would be this early.

I ran into him on the path leading to the building, and he immediately tried to avoid my gaze.

"Is that how it's going to be?" I asked blandly.

After a whole night of crying, I just wanted answers.

"Tessa, hi," Nathan mumbled, looking everywhere but at me. "I didn't see you there."

"Sure," I muttered. "How's your mate?"

Your pregnant mate, I silently added.

At this, Nathan's face reddened slightly. He cleared his throat. "Sofia is... Sofia is fine. Still asleep."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't care."

"Oh." He looked chastised.

"Did you spend the night with her?" I asked.

He stared at his feet. "Um... That is... She..."

Wow. My heart twisted. I waved a hand in a nonchalant gesture.

"Forget it. Obviously, it was too much to ask you to provide me with a reasonable explanation and apology before you fell into bed with your moon-fated mistress."

Nathan winced slightly. "She's not... I didn't... "We didn't have s*x yesterday!" He blurted.

I raised a disinterested eyebrow. "Why? Not good for the baby?"

Nathan flushed again. "About that, Tessa..." He looked at me imploringly.

"What? Are you going to say that the baby isn't yours? That you never touched her?"

"I..."

"Did you?" I pressed.

He deflated. "Yes."

"When?" I asked, glaring at him.

"You... You weren't around."

I snorted. I deduced as much, seeing as Nathan and I spent every night together, either in his room or in mine.

"You'd attended that overnight conference with your dad," Nathan said. "There was a small party..." I was drunk. Sofia was too. We... It was a one-time thing."

Sometime during his explanation, he had finally managed to work up the guts to look me in the eye.

I remembered the day he described. I had been so eager to return to the pack so that I could be with him. Meanwhile, he had been balls-deep in another woman.

I took a step closer to him. "You kissed me when I got back," I said.

He nodded.

"You told me you loved me," I continued. "And then we'd had sex."

Nathan looked torn, but he nodded still.

I raised a hand, and slapped him as hard as I could. He staggered back a bit.

"That's for putting your hands on me after you'd just had the same hands on another woman," I told him coldly, raising my hand again.

He took a step back, and at the same moment, a couple of pack members walked by. I dropped my hand.

"What about all the years we've been together?" I asked. "You're throwing all that away? Or was that all a lie?"

"You know it wasn't a lie, Tessa," he insisted.

"Wasn't it? Then how come it was easy for you to toss it all aside? Or was she that good of a lay?"

His eyes flashed like he didn't want me talking about his mate like that, but he remained silent.

Tough.

"It wasn't like that," he repeated. I didn't throw our history away. You know I can't do that."

He reached for me, and I took a step back.

"I don't know what you can't do anymore. "I don't even think I know you." I stared at him. "Did you know that most of the pack members thought I was somehow forcing you to be with me?"

He blinked. "No... I... We wanted to be together."

"Did you?" I asked hotly. "Because you seem to be eager to go back on your sworn word just because of what you felt standing under a full moon."

Nathan turned away. "It's not like that," he murmured. "You don't understand because you don't have a mate."

I raised an eyebrow. "Don't I? "Scott seemed to think I'm his mate." I scoffed again. "The mate bond thing was exaggerated then? Because I didn't feel the great feeling you all yap about."

"It wasn't exaggerated," Nathan said. "It's the most wonderful feeling. You probably didn't feel it because you're so..."

"So what?" I questioned as he trailed off.

"...you," he finished.

"You mean because I don't believe in mate bonds."

He nodded.

I pressed my lips together and kept my arms at my sides to keep from hitting him again.

"Goodbye, Nathan," I said, when it was clear he wasn't going to say anything else.

I turned and strode forward, leaving him behind. I hadn't walked more than ten steps before I reached a bend in the path, and walked straight into a muscled chest.

I staggered backwards from the force of the hit, and strong hands caught hold of my arms. For some reason, I knew immediately who the hands belonged to.

Scott.

I glanced up at him after steadying myself, and saw that like me, he had dark circles under his eyes. He inclined his head in a respectful greeting.

"Tessa."

"Scott." My voice was slightly breathless, instead of cold, like I wanted it to be. "Are you following me now?" I demanded.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Not yet."

"Not yet?" The audacity.

He gave me a frank look. "I don't know what you have against me, but I'm not about to let my fated mate go just because she got her heart broken by some guy."

A rush of anger hit me. Nathan wasn't "some" guy. And I wasn't his mate.

I refrained from saying all that though. "I have nothing against you," I said instead.

"It didn't seem that way to me," he said, sounding bitter and hurt. "Why did you reject me?"

"I didn't reject you," I said. Not in the literal sense anyway.

"You certainly didn't accept me."

"Because you aren't my mate," I stressed. "I don't know what it is you felt, but it wasn't a mate bond."

"Wasn't it?" Scott spat. "Tell me you don't feel this."

He pushed a lock of my hair behind my ear. I swallowed.

I felt it, but not in the way he thought. There were no sparks, no tingle. Nothing like what everyone else described as what it felt like touching your mate. But there was awareness. And it was enough to make me want to lean into his touch just a bit.

"I don't feel anything," I said.

"Liar," Scott replied.

"Is this why you returned then?" I asked, switching tactics. "Because of some bond?"

Scott's brow furrowed. "I didn't know you were my mate before I came back," he said. "I couldn't have known." You know that."

I stared intently at him. "So, you're saying you just happened to return home on the night of the Mating Ceremony, and just happened to be mated to me?"

"Yes," he said. "That's how these things work, to my knowledge."

Balderdash.

"You don't believe me," he said, correctly reading the expression on my face.

"No s**t," I muttered.

"Then come with me to the Oracle," he said.

"Why would I do that?"

"The Oracle will be able to tell if I'm telling the truth, and we're truly mates," he said earnestly.

I refused immediately.

"But why?" he asked, looking confused again.

"Because I don't want a mate," I said firmly.

"You wanted Nathan," he accused.

"I don't want a fated mate," I clarified.

"Why?"

"None of your business." I made to step around him and be in my way, when he suddenly yanked me back, and crushed me to him.

I felt a slight twinge of desire as my curves rubbed against the hard planes of his body. He stared down at my lips, and I knew what was going to happen before it did.

He gave me ample time to back away. When it was clear I wasn't going to, he finally closed the distance between us, and joined our lips.

It was like nothing I'd ever felt. Not even with Nathan.

There was the expected flood of desire, but there was also... nothing. An emptiness that was glaring enough to let me know that something was missing.

Scott kissed me for a moment longer, before he let me go with a gasp.

His eyes were darkened, like his wolf was close to the surface, and I lifted my fingers to my lips in shock.

I definitely felt that.

"You're wrong," Scott said."I didn't come back because of you. I came back because the pack was in grave danger."