DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER.

DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER.

ALEX

Sawyer! Sawyer! I call out to my dog on entering the door. I toss the keys to the table and the sound of the keys falling on the floor cements my underlying knowledge ;never good at tossing a ball or anything for that matter .I pass by the sofa and lay down my bag carefully not wishing the same fate as the keys . My apartment had an open layout ; the sitting room connected with the kitchen ,the furnishings minimal a black leather sofa ,a well worn black two seater facing the flat screen on the wall ,a coffee table with an unfinished cup of coffee . The kitchen was no better ,black everything with minimal splashes of white, on one side a door leading to the balcony, the stairs that Sawyer was now tumbling down lead to two bedrooms . I lean down to give Sawyer a scratch ,the sounds coming from him making me smile ,chasing the loneliness and the otherwise quiet apartment as I go about feeding him. The bathroom was simple- designed for function only.The walls and floor were a hard white tile.A clear curtain separated the sink, toilet and the shower.Undressing, leaving the clothes in a pile by the door, I turn the shower waiting for it to heat and step in taking a minute relaxing under the shower andgroan.It felt like the heaven as I could hope for the water slurried over my tired body easing the tension that had built after a long day to work,my hand grips my length and a groan leaves my lips bracing my hand on the wall. My hand and I have a relationship for a long time now 8 months since I hooked up with someone . My last girlfriend , Sally broke up with me and married her then boyfriend ,Derek . I don't know if she was cheating me with Derek or Derek with me .But I knew . She claimed she was carrying a child and I argued the babe was definitely mine . And the shake of her head ,her bob following the motion and the change of her gaze to sympathetic and concern was the worst. Our sexlife was pathetic ,with no spice but who liked spicy things... ugh... not me . I am a standard guy with minimal to no expectations . But Sally was different , that's one of the traits l saw first in a line for a flapucino a block way from my apartment in a cafe. My jerk sessions entailed indulging every fantasy he'd had over the past 8 months, as my thumb flicked my slit the pre come dripping ,a groan falling from my lips tracing the the vein . I come with a loud groan muffled by the shower on the wall.The water washed away the evidence of my pleasure panting for breath.I know jerking with her being the object on mind was wrong on so many levels ,okay ?My friend,Eric made it his duty i know but i did not have many options , except there are many options my brain and Eric scream at me. I am ashamed. I rinse quick and wrap a towel around my waist and leave the bathroom . The nights were cold and freezing and I had to add another layer of warm sweater on top of my pajamas. My grandma had knitted it for me for my eighteenth birthday . And I loved it and I swear that I could feel the love in the threads and it never failed to raise my spirits making me smile . The fond memories of our time spent together bringing comfort.We had stayed with her all through highschool in Chester. But we came back to London after her passing away.We were born and raised in London so it's par the course. It was July two months after our birthday, and the unopened birthday present for my brother reminded me that six months had passed from brother's last visit. Xander Hated gifts or so he said but I made sure i bought him a present each year . He was my brother ,my twin ,the other half of me literally but we're very different the only telling was he was me when I looked at the mirror.Our black hair with curly ends ,trimmed at the sides the top kept long and ash grey eyes.Xander had tattoos in his side .Xander was cool and outgoing . With a mischievous smile that promised bad and dangerous things attracting all kinds of people and trouble. Xander never had any problem taking someone - whether male or female to bed . He's perfect.Everything I was not . Everything I wished to be.

Xander was not answering my calls or texts. Some might say the unanswered call logs and texts messages meant he did want to talk to me - and they were right but i was nothing if not persistent . I leave him message . Plugging my phone to the charger I leave the bedroom and head to the kitchen. My Fridays were spent watching the reruns of Friends ,a glass of wine in one hand and reheated bowl of noodles in the other and days like this - when i was feeling more blue - a whole bottle. It was perfect. Setting the microwave I start unpacking the groceries from the previous day, and the tupperware of various half cooked meals filled the fridge from my neighbour , Mrs Lraken she owned a diner across the town and with four children all grown up she often find herself cooking more food , old habits and that she says and so she restocks my fridge with leftovers from the diner . I worry that I take advantage of her but she just laughs me off saying she didn't mind. And I do the environment a favour wastage of food not good and all that . Also she cooked delicious meals saving me from having to cook or in my case try to cook edible food. Xander liked to cook and he did all throughout our university years in this apartment learned from our grandma. All the more reasons I liked when Xander lived here. He ensured that I ate healthy . Xander was athletic ; he played football in his highschool and university days but I was the polar opposite of him ;he was tall at 6ft1 ,fit with broad shoulders and thick thighs but I was more on the lean side with the same height. A scuffle makes me pause on pouring the wine ,the bottle on the counter i head toward the scuffle coming from the living room. Assuming it was Sawyer I head toward the sofa to look behind it - Sawyer's usual hiding place. The bookshelf beside the mounted tv casts a shadow throughout the room and the dim light coming from kitchen did not help at all unless you turn on the lights - which i just never did the living room was always just a bit dark but i knew the layout so i did play it mind the more dark room as a scooted behind the sofa calling Sawyer maybe I should not have. Maybe I should have turned on the lights. Maybe I should have accepted my co-workers invite to go out. Maybe I should have rented out Xanders room and had a roommate. They would have been to blame for the rise of hair on my neck . The cold rushing in my spine. Someone was watching me . Someone was in the room , in my living room. Someone who was not Xander , I knew Xanders gaze and it was not Eric . Eric did not possess the ability to be quiet. But I wished it was .Was I breathing ? Don't think so maybe if I stayed still enough they would eventually leave. Sawyer was asleep and snoring that I was sure of from his loud snores in the otherwise quiet room . The warm blanket he had thrown around himself was in his head tucked between his legs ,and this close to him I could now hear the snores.