Beneath the Weight of Silence

Chapter 1 Beneath the Surface

Another day. Same as the last. Nothing new. Nothing exciting. The house feels like a machine—everyone just going through the motions, running on autopilot. I wake up, grab some breakfast, and all I hear is the sound of footsteps—my dad’s staff rushing around, the maids cleaning, the daily grind. It’s a constant hum of activity, but I’m not part of it. I’m just a shadow, invisible in my own house.

I sit alone at the table, half-eating, half-thinking. The silence is deafening, but it’s not sad. It’s not loneliness, either—it’s just... numbness. Everything’s the same every day. I don’t even know what to expect anymore. My dad’s world is busy, full, and loud, but mine feels empty, like I’m stuck in a loop. My siblings? They're wrapped up in their own lives, and honestly, I don’t expect much from them anymore. They’ve got their own stuff to deal with. And me? I’ve learned to be okay with being alone. Freedom, I guess. No one telling me what to do. But lately, I’ve started to wonder—what’s freedom worth if there’s nothing worth doing?

The only people I talk to are my friends. They’re my go-to when I need someone, but even they sometimes feel like more of a headache than a comfort. They’re always up in my business, trying to get me to do things I don’t want to do, giving me advice I didn’t ask for, and creating drama out of nothing.

“Dayen, I heard you’ve got a hot boyfriend, but you’re hiding him from us because you think we’ll steal him,” Anna teases, her voice light but her grin full of mischief. Anna’s always got a wild theory in her head, and she’s not shy about sharing them.

I roll my eyes. “Seriously, Anna? You’re delusional.”

Before I can even process her words, Hammy—the one who likes to pretend she’s above all the drama—chimes in. “Dayen, is that for real? Oh god, I feel like I’m out of the loop with you guys.”

I furrow my brow. “What?” Why is everyone acting like I have a boyfriend when I don’t even have time for one? I try to keep it cool, though, even though I’m a little confused.

Hammy shrugs, not even looking up from her phone. “Just saying. Maybe it’s time for you to get one, Ayn.” Hammy’s always the practical one, the one who’s way too invested in everyone else’s problems while keeping her own on the down-low.

"Oh my god, Dayen! Maybe he’s the one! The love of your life!" Jenni practically shouts, her voice bursting with excitement. "I was looking through your fan page, and you two are, like, so cute together, but honestly, I had to do some serious stalking—like, all his pics on your fansite are just of him and his broad back! Oh my god, your fansite is so bobo—they didn’t even get a single shot of his face, just his back! How are we supposed to know what he actually looks like? It’s so annoying. So sad! But honestly, from the vibe in those pics, you two look really close! In one of them, you were even leaning on your car while talking. So, like, are y-you hiding him from us because you think we’ll steal him or something? Huh? Maybe he’s your boyfriend, and you’re just keeping him a secret, thinking we’ll swoop in on him! Duh, can’t blame you for trying to keep him all to yourself—I mean, with a friend as hot as me, who wouldn’t? She’s practically bouncing in her seat, her excitement practically spilling over like she’s about to burst.

I stare at them for a second, wondering if they’re serious. Why does it matter so much to them? I’ve always kept my personal life private, but these girls act like they know every detail of it, and it’s exhausting. It’s not that I don’t appreciate them, but sometimes... I just need space. Tss

And then there’s something in Jenni’s words that makes me pause. The love of my life? What are they even talking about? I don’t even know why I feel nervous when I think about it. I don’t need anyone, I keep telling myself. But still...

I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away. It’s just another day. Another cycle.

“You’re so overacting, Jen,” Anna says, rolling her eyes at Jenni like she’s heard this all before.

“Yen, what if we travel?” Anna asks, munching on popcorn as we sit in Hammy’s office, killing time.

Hammy’s focused on her architectural plans, like usual, while Anna and I just sit there, staring at each other, trying to think of something to do. It’s quiet. Too quiet. The boredom feels thick in the air.

“Stop thinking about traveling, Anna,” Hammy says without even looking up. “You’ve got a bunch of shoots coming up. Priorities, girl.”

Anna huffs, clearly unfazed by Hammy’s words. “Aww, I told you not to become an actress,” Jenni teases, leaning back in her chair. “Look at you now—no freedom at all. Poor you .”

“Poor me?” Anna snaps, not backing down. “And what about you, Jenni? You’re jobless, just hanging around, doing nothing. You’ve got a whole company waiting for you, and what are you doing? Sitting around, spending your parents' money, doing nothing for yourself. How poor are you?”

I raise an eyebrow, already knowing this conversation is about to escalate. Jenni doesn’t take insults lightly, and Anna can’t stand being called out. This is their thing—bickering, teasing, throwing insults. They’ve been at it for years, and I’ve kind of learned to tune it out. Still, sometimes it gets old.

“Oh, really? That’s how you see me, Anna?” Jenni retorts, narrowing her eyes. Here we go.

“Stop, you guys are so annoying,” Hammy finally says, looking up from her laptop. “Can we just have one conversation without you two fighting?”

It works. For a moment, there’s a quiet peace, and I’m grateful for it. But, of course, it doesn’t last long. Hammy leans back in her chair, tapping her fingers on the desk, clearly still thinking about something. “So, Dayen. What do you think? Should we travel? Maybe go to the beach?”

I blink, caught off guard. Travel? The idea sounds nice, but I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just too stuck in my usual cycle of emptiness to get excited about something like a beach trip. But my friends, they seem so alive, so ready to do something. They’re so spontaneous, so full of energy.

I sigh, pushing the thoughts away. “Maybe,” I say, though I’m not sure if I mean it. “Could be nice.”

We start talking about maybe going to Boracay. I’ve heard it’s a beautiful place, one of the most famous beach destinations in the Philippines. People rave about it, but I’m not sure if now’s the right time for a trip. Everything feels out of place, like I’m going through the motions just to please everyone else. But knowing my friends, a spontaneous trip could be exactly what we need.

“Dayen, I’m so tired,” Jenni says suddenly, her voice heavy with something I can’t quite place. “I’m exhausted, but I’m not doing anything. I’m just... tired.” She says it so dramatically, but there’s a weight behind her words that makes me believe it’s real.

I look at her, confused. “Why do you feel tired when you’re not doing anything?”Anna snorts, clearly not getting it. “Tss.”

“It’s okay to feel tired, Jenni,” Hammy chimes in, calm as always. “Sometimes you just need a break. Or a reset. You can’t always be on the go.”

Hammy’s the calm one, the one who always knows what to say. She’s like the glue that holds us together, even when we don’t deserve it. She’s good at reading the room, at understanding when something’s off.

We’re in the car, heading to Anna’s shoot. My mind’s still elsewhere, lost in thought.

Time’s ticking, and we’ve got a million things to wrap up before we can get on with it.

I understand Jenni. She might not be physically busy, but the weight of everything—her emotions, her life—is starting to catch up with her. Jenni wears her feelings on her sleeve, just like Anna. But Hammy and I? We deal with our problems quietly, by ourselves. We’re not as open about it.

We arrive at the shoot for Anna’s commercial endorsement, and of course, we forgot to bring our own cars. I can’t even remember why we all piled into Jenni’s car. We just did, probably because we were all too tired or distracted. When we finally get to the location, Hammy and I exchange a look. Why did we even come with them?

“Holly jeez! What am I doing here?” Hammy exclaims, her voice laced with frustration. “I have dinner plans, and here I am.”

“If you’re in such a hurry, Ham, I’ll drive you,” I offer, trying to be helpful. “We can borrow Jenni’s car.”

But Hammy’s not even listening to me. She’s completely zoned out, lost in her own thoughts.

Then Jenni says something that catches my attention. “Uh, Dayen, I can already see my future. He’s like a god—my king, my love... Wait, he looks so familiar, doesn’t he?” Jenni says, her voice dreamlike.

And that’s when I see him again. Light. The guy I talked to last month, the one who shifted something in my life. There he is, right in front of me. Those dark, messy curls. The thoughtful look in his eyes. He’s out of place in my world, but somehow, he’s here again. And it hits me. Everything’s about to change again..