Call of the Goddess

A Mysterious Smudge

Dalton gets to his feet and walks over to where Aluna had stood mere moments ago, looking around as if to try and see where she went. I don’t move. Part of me is already trying to convince myself that the events of the past few minutes had all been a figment of my imagination. If it weren’t for Dalton’s investigations, that part probably would have succeeded.

This whole day has been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my entire life. But for a moment, I had allowed myself to be convinced that the goddess’s call had been a misunderstanding, that I wasn’t being asked to put my life on the line for my pack. I’m not a strong wolf, I’m not a brave wolf, I’m not a wise and confident leader. I feel like I’ve been set up to fail, and my failure means failure for the entire pack. And now my last hope that this was all just some dumb mistake has been shattered.

“You saw that too,” Dalton says, pulling me out of my spiraling thoughts. It wasn’t a question, but I nod anyway. “I guess there’s no way around it, then. We set off for Mount Killingtague tomorrow.”

My heart freezes in my chest. Tomorrow? So soon? I don’t even get a day to recover after my entire life is flipped upside down. The pack won’t be able to survive on the generosity of its allies forever, but surely waiting an extra day won’t make or break its future. And shouldn’t I get some kind of training before we leave? Quest training, is that a thing?

“Everyone is counting on us. We fail them every moment where we do nothing while they live in fear,” Dalton says. My fear and hesitation must be showing on my face.

“What if we fail?” I ask, my voice quivering.

“That’s not an option. We succeed, no matter the cost.” Dalton sighs heavily and looks off into the distance for a moment. “I seem to have forgotten my… place. I suppose.”

“Your place?” I ask.

“It’s not me who is leading this expedition is it, Omega?” Dalton speaks without looking at me, staring back toward the packhouse where our fates first became intertwined.

“I didn’t ask for th-“

“It doesn’t matter what you asked for. The goddess’s word is law. When do we leave?”

It’s almost scary how quickly he goes from the more open Dalton from before, the one who opened up about his concerns and recognized my fears, to this harsher, intimidating, no-nonsense Dalton that I’ve always seen him as before today. I really hate this, it feels so wrong. Even though I have no say in this, and no desire for things to be the way they are, somehow I still feel responsible for how the goddess’s arrangement seems to mess with Dalton’s head.

“Tomorrow,” I say, taking his lead rather than stepping into my own.

“Tomorrow,” Dalton echoes before walking into the woods and out of sight without a backward glance. A second later I hear a brief rustle of fabric before catching a glimpse of a huge brown and gray wolf take off through the trees.

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It’s the next morning and I can barely convince myself to get out of bed. Maybe everything that happened yesterday was just a dream. If I get ready for school now, maybe the birds will be waiting for me. Polly will greet me at my locker before going off to find her more gossipy friends, and I’ll head off to class and mind my own business. I’ll listen to boring lectures and take notes until my hand cramps up, and then I’ll go home, where everything is safe and makes sense. But no, I know it wasn’t a dream, as crazy as yesterday was. My mind has accepted my fate just enough that I can’t deny reality.

Someone knocks on my bedroom door, which swings open to admit my mom into the room. I had gotten in pretty late the night before, and my parents, who notoriously go to bed early, were already asleep. They left me a bit of food and water that was rationed to us from the emergency supplies our warrior scouts had obtained from an ally pack, as well as a note. They told me they love me, they support me, they believe the goddess called me for a reason, and that I’m capable of saving the pack. They also acknowledged that this came as a shock, and that they understand that I needed time to myself to process everything, but they’re available to talk when I’m ready. But I don’t exactly have time to get ready. I’m headed out today, ready or not.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Mom says in the sweetest, gentlest voice she can muster. “How… How are you feeling this morning?”

Awful. Terrified. Beyond confused. “I’m fine.” I sit up as my mom crosses the room to sit on my bed.

“Did you read the note your dad and I left you last night?”

“Yeah, thanks. Sorry I was out so late.”

“Your dad and I understand. Probably better than you do.” I furrow my brow in confusion, which gets a laugh out of my mom. I’m glad one of us still has a sense of humor. “I just mean that, as your parents, we’ve always known that you have something so great to offer the world. You may not see it, but we always have. And you can’t really blame the rest of the pack for being confused. You’re always so quiet, you keep your amazing personality and worldview to yourself. But anyone who really knows you won’t be surprised for a minute to hear that the goddesses expect great things from you.” She tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and I try to muster up a smile, but my heart just isn’t in it.

“I hope you’re right, Mom,” I say, my voice cracking on the last word as tears finally start to flow. I’m no longer too shocked to cry, and I start to cry hard. My mom wraps her arms tightly around me as my eyes turn into a faucet, creating puddles on her shoulder. I cry until I run out of tears, and even then I cling to my mom, savoring what last few moments I have with her. Who knows if I’ll ever even see her again after today? I try not to think like that, but it’s hard not to acknowledge the level of danger in the journey ahead.

Eventually I release my grip and sit up, wiping the few remaining tears from my eyes. I’m done crying. From here on out, I need to focus. My dad walks in carrying a bit of food on a plate and a glass of water.

“Breakfast delivery for the hero!” my dad announces as he sets the food down on the table next to my bed. “We received more rations this morning. It looks like our allied packs are really coming through for us.” He doesn’t acknowledge the fact that I’ve been crying, even though I know my eyes must be a red, puffy mess.

Despite everything, I have to laugh when my dad calls me a hero. I’m certainly no hero yet. But who knows? Maybe my mom is right. Maybe I will be a hero. I allow myself to entertain this notion as I start to devour my breakfast. Crying and worrying really help you work up quite an appetite.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Not long after I finally get out of bed and get dressed, there’s a knock at the door. My dad calls across the house for me to get it, and I really wish I’d been able to get a shower after running around in the woods last night. But no water means no shower, so I just hope my deodorant is strong enough to keep my body odors at bay as I get up off the couch to go answer the door. It’s Dalton, fully dressed and looking way more alert than I feel. By fully dressed, I mean below the waist, but still no shirt. He’s got a drawstring bag on his back as well, with one long strap instead of 2 which allowed him to wear it crossbody, the string settling in the middle of his chest between his rock-hard pecs. 

“I’ve come to report for further instructions,” he says in a most official tone.

“Of course, come in,” I say as I step aside. Truth be told, I have come up with absolutely no plan and wouldn’t even begin to know where to start with one. But they say a good leader listens to the thoughts and suggestions of his or her followers, right?

Dalton quickly finds the kitchen table and sets his bag down on top of it to search through its contents. I follow in silence and watch as he pulls out a thick, brown book and drops it on the table with a thud. “I took the liberty of getting us an atlas from the pack library,” he explains. The pack library is located in one wing of the packhouse, which Dalton, being the son of the Beta, lives next door to. “I hope that’s alright.” His tone is practically dripping with sarcasm. I roll my eyes.

“You can’t blame me for the hierarchy of this mission, Dalton. I’ve got enough to deal with without your sulkiness,” I say. I can’t remember the last time I’ve ever been that blunt, but even I have limits to how much crap I can take before I explode.

Dalton turns to look at me, seemingly shocked that I bothered to say something. Maybe because I’m a quiet person, and people generally don’t expect me to be so direct or to stand up for myself. Or maybe, with his station among our pack members, it’s so rare for anyone to criticize his actions that he’s practically forgotten that that’s a thing people can even do. But I’ve started to realize that, if I don’t step up like the goddess has asked me to and take control, there won’t even be a pack to come home to. And what will Dalton Evers be the future Alpha of then?

“Oh, is it hard having the entire pack count on you for survival? Once I’m Alpha, that will be my reality every day of my life. I’m sorry if I’m a little snippy, but this is hard on me too. Do you have any idea how confusing it is to my inner wolf as a Beta’s son to be bossed around by some Omega?”

I scowl and take a deep breath. “You have to get used to it. And you can’t take your anger out on me while you figure all that out.”

Dalton’s eyes are full of anger and he looks like he wants to say something, but thinks better of it and storms out of the kitchen instead. “I need some air,” he says as he goes.

“Nobody’s making you be the Alpha!” I pettily call after him just before I hear the front door slam. So we’re off to a great start.

I should feel angry now, but I don’t really. I actually feel good, liberated. Something about taking charge and standing up for myself made things click into place, at least a little bit. Figuring it’s best to give Dalton time to cool off, I decide not to follow him and instead dive into the atlas to check out our route. Mount Killingtague lies to the north of the pack territory, but there will be a bit of a way to go before we even reach the base of the mountain. Once there the journey will be easy, at least as far as navigation goes. As long as your elevation is increasing, you’re going the right way. I take note of the roads leading north and try to sort out the best path to take.

The journey to the mountain may take a couple of days, so I need to chart things out so that we have places to stop and rest. If we take the east fork a few miles north of Starborne territory, we should pass through an allied pack’s territory where we would likely be welcome to stay for a bit. But something keeps drawing my eye further to the west. It looks like a coffee stain, and probably is just a coffee stain, but for some reason my instincts seem to be drawing me toward it. The spot it marks on the page is in the middle of the woods where there’s no path. There’s probably nothing to see there but a bunch of trees, nothing to do but completely waste our valuable time and resources. It would be foolish to chase an almost certainly accidental stain on a page in a library book.

“We’re going here,” I announce as I head out onto the front porch with the atlas. Dalton, who is sitting on the top step staring out into space, now looks back at me with a confused expression on his face.

“If ‘here’ is the mountain, then yeah I got that.”

I sit on the step next to him and point to the coffee stain. “We’re going here.”

“That’s nowhere. That’s a brown smudge. We’re going here,” Dalton says, moving my hand so that my finger rests on the mountain. My heart flutters when he touches my hand. “This isn’t payback for my actions back there is it? Because I know you were right, I was acting like a total jerk and I had no right to be. But it won’t happen again, you have my word.”

I smile. “I appreciate that, Dalton. But no, this isn't about that. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve already tried to talk myself out of it and it didn’t work. You’re just going to have to trust me on this one. I’m just going to have to trust me on this one.”

Dalton sighs. “This seems like an absolutely terrible idea, but okay. You’d better be absolutely sure about this, Sutton. This isn’t a game.”

“I know. I’m sure. I don’t know how I’m sure, but I’m sure.”

“Then, off to the smudge we go.”