Of Lilies Time and Remorse

Chapter 11

We were greeted by the familiar faces of our neighbors.

“ Uy, kayo na ba?”

Tito Sabby- I mean Tita Sabby asked us.

I just smiled and answered the truth. I was feeling uncomfortable with people getting the wrong idea between the real deal of me and Sixto.

“ Hindi po, nagkasabay lang.”

“ Shudi, bagay talaga kayo”

I just smiled awkwardly. Sixto was just smiling too and looks unbothered. Inilagay namin ang regalo namin sa table for the gifts. Ang laki talaga ng bahay nila dahil akalain niyo 'yon? Nagkasya kaming lahat. Nasa function hall kami,  at may napakalaking glass sliding door na nakabukas at makikita mo ang malawak nila na grass lawn. Naka ready din doon ang mga paputok at balita ko, magpapa fire works sila Tita Lev.

Nakita naman si Sixto ng mga kaibigan niya. He didn't want to leave but I told him it's okay, may mga kaibigan din naman ako dito kaya lang ay hindi ko pa nakikita sila Ritz at Kate. Mga kababata din namin ni Sixto dito sa neighborhood.

Lumabas na lang muna ako at naglibot-libot sa lawn hanggang sa napunta ako sa garden nila at may nakita akong fountain. Lumapit ako doon. I was just staring at my reflection when I saw another reflection emerged. Nagulat ako at muntik ng napasigaw. Akala ko naman may multo. Napatingin ako sa likod ko.

“ Anong ginagawa mo dito?”

“ Bawal bang maglibot sa sarili kong bahay?” he answered with a smile.

Napakamot naman ako sa ulo at nahihiyang ngumiti.

“ Sorry. I mean bakit ka ba nanggugulat?”

“ Magulatin ka lang talaga Lucy .” DL answered me still with a smile plastered on his face.

I looked back at my reflection in the water.

“ Bakit nandito ka? Nasa loob si Sixto”

“ Required ba na kung nasaan si Sixto doon din ako? Sixto is not my baby sitter or my shadow,  and I'm not his. Seriously,  kapag ba pinag-uusapan si Sixto kasali ako o kaya ay kapag pinag uusapan ako kasali siya?”

He slanted his head and smiled at me again.

“ Oh. So there's that thing you feel towards Sixto?”

I blinked. What is he talking about? Ano naman ang interpretation niya sa sinabi ko?

I was leaning towards the fountain while he leaned his back in the fountain with hands inside his pockets while he gazed at me.

“ Shame. You felt resentment towards Sixto and the only thing he felt about you is-”

Napailing lang siya habang nakangiti.

“ What?”

“ Nothing. Figure it on your own Lucy.”

I stared at him. We technically grew up together. Sixto, DL, me and some of our friends in the neighbourhood. Siya talaga ang best friend ni Sixto.

Compared to Sixto, DL has more striking facial features. Sixto has chinky eyes, while DL has this bold expressive eyes. And his eye color is somewhat... grey? He has a prominent nose line and jaw line. He has long wavy black hair too. And he's a shade or two darker than Sixto.

He's wearing  a red polo shirt and denim pants. I couldn't see his shoes but I know it's expensive. Surprisingly,  even though his features a lot rougher than Sixto's,  he smells like a baby... I always smell Sixto as manly. Kahit pa walang perfume, nalalanghap mo pa rin naman ang natural body scent ng tao. DL and Sixto,  they are just too different from each other. And yet they're friends.

“ Done checking me?”

Even though I was caught in the act, I rolled my eyes at him and gave him an annoyed look.

“ You wish”

“ So bakit ka nga nandito? I mean bahay niyo nga 'to but why in this particular place?”

“ I saw you. Kaya sinundan kita. Baka saan ka pa magpunta dito sa bahay. ”

I glared at him.

“ Ano ako,  potential magnanakaw?”

“ JK”

I creased my forehead. Weirdo din tong tao na 'to.

“ Anong JK?”

“ Just kidding”

Natawa na lang din kaming dalawa. Hindi naman kasi kami close talaga ni DL. Mas madali kasing maka usap si Sixto. I mean mas approachable. Mas palangiti kahit sa hindi kakilala. Si DL naman ay ngumingiti sa kakilala lang niya personally. Thus explains ang pagngiti niya sa akin sa school.

“ Let's have a real conversation, shall we?” he asked.

“ Hindi pa ba 'to conversation? Pero okay ikaw bahala.” I answered with a shrug.

“ So how's school?”

“ Okay lang naman po Tito” akala mo naman kasi Tito ko siya na nasa ibang bansa na nagtatanong about sa studies ko. He just clicked his tongue.

“ Seriously, wala bang interesting na nangyayari sayo?”

“ By interesting, do you mean something normal teenagers experienced?” I asked with my brow raised.

“ Love life? Any update?”

I gave DL a weird look. He didn't appear to me as someone who would be interested in other people's life concerning in the love aspect.

“ Wala kasi wala namang nagkakagusto sa akin. I'm also not interested as of now.”

“ I see you're not interested.” tumatangong saad niya.

“ But I doubt that no one's interested in you. ” pagpapatuloy niya.

Napakunot naman ako ng noo. Wala naman kasing nagpaparamdam sa akin. Napaka plain ko naman kasi. Yes, I may say I'm striking but not striking enough to be liked.

“ Maniwala naman ako sayo” I rolled my eyes.

He straightened his back and crossed his arms around his chest and smiled.

“ You are interesting Lucy”

Napakurap naman ako. Para bang naumid ang dila ko sa sinabi niya. I just laughed at him, not entertaining the thought of what he said. We do talk, pero laro pa naman 'yung mga pinag-uusapan namin noon. Funny how growing up changes our conversation. Nakakapanibago lang na love life ko ang pinag-uusapan namin. Kung meron man.

“ How about you? Any update?”

I asked him with an intriguing face. Gumaya na lang din siya sa akin kaya pareho na kaming naka lean sa fountain.

He stared in the water for a few seconds before he answered me with a shrug.

“ So meron nga?! ” I exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes. I pouted.

“ Sabihin mo na. Sino ba kasi? 'yun bang isang babae na kasama niyo lage?”

“ No. ”

“ Eh sino nga?” pangungulit ko.

I leaned closer to him.

“ Someone I know?”

I saw how his ears and cheeks turned red. Oh my! I leaned closer to him. He looked away.

“ Oh my! So someone I know nga?”

He looked uncomfortable with me bugging him kaya lumayo na ako.

“ Tsk. I didn't know you're nosy. ”

I just laughed at him.

“ Only with people I like. I guess. ” I said as I shrugged. I looked at him.

“ Hmm” napatango siya habang nakangiti.

Narinig namin si Tita Sabby na pinapa gather around na kami.

“ Let's go?” tumango na lang ako at sumunod kay Devoun Leyden.

We were greeted by Sixto by the door. He was looking weirdly at us. His lips were closed tightly and he looked at us with narrowed eyes. DL just smiled and tapped Sixto's shoulder.

“ I'll go ahead Lucy. May gagawin pa kasi ako.” paalam ni DL sa akin. Before storming off, he winked at me. I just rolled my eyes and laughed.

Sixto coughed. Napatingin naman ako sa kaniya.

“ Nagkasalubong kayo?”

“ Nope. Magkasama kami” I said as I walked past Sixto because I saw my friends Ritz and Kate waving at me.

Natapos na din ang games para sa mga bata. Mukhang magsisimula na ang games para sa aming mga teenagers. Mabuti na lang at hindi masyadong kita ako dito sa lugar ko. Sumiksik pa talaga ako dito dahil ayaw kong sumali sa games.

It's that cliche newspaper dance na naman.

“ Wala na bang sasali? One thousand pesos each pa naman sa mag fifirst place tapos 500 sa runner up na pair.” announced ni Tita Sabby na Tito Sabado sa umaga. Bahala sila diyan. Tapos na ako sa kahihiyang dala ng newspaper dance.

Nong 11 kasi ako, napartner ako sa napakapayat naming kapitbahay. Si Nohr. Si Sixto naman talaga ang partner ko lage, pero ewan ko ba may lagnat siguro siya nong time na 'yun.

Pinilit niya akong sumali dahil gusto niyang magkapera. Mukhang pera talaga. Ayon nga,  dahil sobrang payat ni Nohr noon, hindi niya ako kaya. Nang binuhat niya ako, bumigay siya kaya nahulog ako. Sobrang nakakahiya. Nahalikan ko pa nga siya noon! Dumaplis lang naman pero kahit na.

The adults just laughed at us. Hindi naman kasi nila napansin yata yung lips ko na tumama sa lips niya. Buti na lang. Pero dahil nag-effort naman kami, binigyan pa rin kami ni Tito Syne ng one thousand pesos each. Mayaman talaga. I gave Sixto half of my money because he was being so grumpy. In the first place siya naman ang nag push na sumali ako. He didn't talk to me until the party ended. I was so pissed that time too.

Simula noon, hindi na ako pumupunta ng maaga. Iniiwasan ko talaga ang mga games kaya nagpapaiwan muna ako sa bahay at hinihintay matapos ang games. Dinig na dinig naman kasi ang boses ng emcee at ng music nila sa bahay. Kaya hindi ako sasali at magpapakita ngayon. Bahala sila. Hindi naman ako mukhang pera. Pero si Sixto, oo. Kuripot din naman hindi lang halata dahil nililibre ako. Dahil mukhang pera si Sixto,

“ Ayoko ngang sumali eh!”

“ Sige na wala akong partner. Five years na din akong hindi sumasali sa game na 'to. Nami-miss na nila ang MVP. ” Hindi na din kasi siya sumali ng 'di ako sumali. Kami pa naman 'yung laging may tig isang libo. Competitive kasi si Sixto. Basta pera.

I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

“ Sino bang nagsabing 'wag kang sumali noon ha?”

He just pouted.

“ And here's our last pair, neighbors! Matagal ding nawala sa game na 'to ang original defending champion pair!”

Umiling ako kaagad.

“ Nako hindi po ako sasali!” but my words fell on deaf ears as Tita Sabby held my arm and brought me in the middle. I glared at Sixto. He gave me a really big smile. Nawawala na naman ang mga mata niya. Kita na din ang gums niya. I sighed. Sixto won over me. Again... Hindi ko alam, but Sixto always manages to get whatever he wants. Kainis.

Nasa gitna na kami kasama ang ibang mga participants din. I saw Nohr na partner si Kate. Hindi na siya payat ngayon kaya go lang. Weightlifter si Nohr ngayon actually. Nako, baka matalo na talaga kami. Nang paalis na si Tita, I grabbed her by the arm.

“ Hindi po talaga ako sasali, maghanap na lang po kayo ng substitute ko.”

Tita Sabby just laughed at me.

“ Pero nasa gitna ka na, Lucy. Alam mo ang rules natin dito. Wala ng atrasan.”

I sighed. Wala na talaga akong magagawa.

“ Sixto, galingan niyo ha, comeback niyo ngayon. Galingan mo, weightlifter na si Nohr. Sobrang gaan pa ng partner niya. I'm rooting for you.” Tita Sabby winked at us.

“ Opo Tita. Syempre ako ang MVP dito. Walang wala ang muscles niyang si Nohr sa muscles ko. ” I mentally rolled my eyes at Sixto. As if may muscles siya.

Pumunta na sa gitna si Tita at pinamigay ang mga newspapers.

“ Weightlifter na si Nohr, maning mani na 'to for him. ” I said.

“Oh? Nakaka balance ba siya? Magaling ako magbalance. May chance tayo. ” he smiled at me.

Nang binigay na ang newspaper sa amin, nakasimangot lang ako.

“ Why are you so pissed Lucy?” I looked at Sixto. He seems really interested in the game. Pero bakit naman?

“ Sixto mananalo ka naman sa ibang laro. Bakit dito ka pa sumali?” I stared intensely at him para madama niyang hindi ako nagbibiro. OA na kung OA pero ayoko talaga na maglaro.

“ Bakit hindi?” he gave me the same intensity I gave. Oo nga bakit nga ba hindi? I looked away because I can't take his stares anymore. As I set my gaze somewhere, I saw DL by the side crossing his arms looking at us. He smiled at me. I sighed. Napatingin ako sa kaniya ng nagsalita siya.

“ Are you afraid of falling?

...again?”

I bit my lip and sighed afterward. The music played and I was just standing awkwardly. I can dance, pero nahihiya ako ngayon. Sixto grabbed my hands and we just swayed. When the music stopped, we stepped into the newspaper. Hanggang sa hindi na magkakasya ang dalawang paa.

“ I'll just tiptoe.” he said.

“ Okay I'll do the same.”

I put my right foot in the newspaper. Sixto did the same with his left foot. It was really uncomfortable dahil pakiramdam ko matutumba ako. Sixto held my shoulders to keep us balanced. I could  hear his breathing and I could smell his breath. It was reeked of mint and strawberry... He looked down on me and stared. I stared back. I noticed how his chinky eyes blinked, his chest heaved up and down, the way he puffs up air, the way his Adam's apple moves and the way he licks his lips.

His eyes isn't the usual. It's not that bold, but I knew it speaks so much. The only bad thing is that I have no idea what it speaks about. His eyes were really black,  I thought I was hypnotized. It was drawing me in. It was a very dark pit and I don't like darkness but...I don't really mind falling in that pit. Even when it's dark.

He cleared his throat.

“ Lucy”

“ W-what?”

Bakit ba ako kinakabahan? It's just that...

He opened his mouth to speak but decided not to.

He sighed.

“ Nevermind”

As much as I want to know what he's about to tell, hindi naman ako namimilit. What could it be about?  I just set it aside. He decided not to tell me so it's probably not my business. The music came back. We folded the newspaper again. Dalawang pairs na lang ang nasa game. Kami at sila Nohr.

This might be the last round. Everyone is stating their bet. Dahil possible na last round na,  they took their time. Everyone's excited. Nasisiyahan siguro si Tita Sabby kaya inutusan niya si DL na tapusin ang isang kanta. Right when the music stopped, only one foot could be fit.

“ Step on me” I looked at Sixto with a frown.

“ But-”

“ I want you to step on me,  Lucy”

He wanted me to step on him? Just for this game?

“ Can't we just let go?” I said in a soft voice.

I looked at the other pair and they're already trying to figure out how to fit in that damn newspaper.

“ Just step on me Lucy”

I bit my lip as I did what he asked me to do. My foot was in his and he's already tiptoeing. Dahil maliit ako, I was just below his shoulders. He held my shoulders again to balance us.

He looked down on me, and I looked up at him. I held my breath. We were so close. I was almost hugging him. I was out balanced and I almost fell but Sixto was quick to steady me. He embraced me. My head was on his chest. I can hear his heartbeat. It was rapid, it was fast. His heartbeat was so loud I thought my ear was a stethoscope.

They say what you feel reflects to the person you wanted it to feel. Was that heartbeat his? Or was it mine...reflecting on him?

The music came back, and both pair are still in the game. We folded the newspaper again. I looked up after folding the newspaper and Sixto's looking at me.

“ I'm sorry for stepping on you, Six” I said with an awkward smile. It must be painful. I'm quite heavy.

He maintained our eye contact and then he gave me a cheeky smile.

“ I really don't mind being stepped by you, Lucy.”