Forced to hurt you

7

Eva's POV

"Stop! I told you to stop!" I yelled at him and tried to calm him down, but he continued. He was pushing things, breaking vases and punching the wall.

Just what do I have on the back of my neck that made him act this way? It's something that Aiden burned there, I know. But why is he so scared and mad?

"He knew! He knew, Bella! And now he's trying to get you from me. To steal you FROM ME! Although he promised." James shouted in anger, his hand and arm bleeding. I was confused and didn't get what he wanted to say. I held his arm and smiled at him, looking into his dark brown eyes.

"I'll always be with you. You don't have to worry, James! Forget about this mark! I am with you now! What is wrong with you?!" I cried loudly and was having a hard time with breathing. To control my breathing.

He changed so suddenly and I wasn't ready. It was like something woke up in him. It was like he cute and warm side of him changed to a dangerous and scary one.

So did his eyes.

"You don't get it! You don't get anything, Eva! He marked you with his sign! His stupid mafia's sign! And everyone, who are marked with his sign, is his." He shouted as he pointed at me and I swallowed hard when he started to punch the wall so hard, making me gasp.

Why so afraid, James?

"But I am yours. And I'll always be." I mumbled and he glared at me, breathing heavily as sweat was dripping from his forehead.

"You are his, but not mine. You are James's, but not mine!" He walked to me and I backed.

What was that?

"What's this supposed to mean?" I asked terrified, my body and lips shaking from fear and confusion.

"I am not James. He was having a lot of time with you. You changed him again and he completely forgot that he has another side deep inside him, which could wake up and show up when he's scared that he won't handle this kind of situations. He is weak, because of you! But this time, I took control over him. And he let me. He let me because he lost himself." He smirked and I tilted my head to the side, wanting to touch his cheek, but he avoided my touch.

"James, I think you-"

He suddenly pushed me against the wall, punching the wall few cm's far from my face over and over again. I wasn't scared. I was worried.

"I told you that I'm not James, you stupid girl!" His hand around my neck, choking me. His eyes showing so much hate and rage, they were so dark, sending me shivers. I started to hit and scratch his hands and arms, I was trying to push him away from me.

Where is the strength Aiden told me about? I thought I was a street fighter? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, pushing him away with all my strength and felt free from the pain.

I opened my eyes and saw James laying on the floor painfully with his neck and arm bleeding, the mirrored wardrobe broke into small pieces. I let out a shaky sigh as I saw the small glass pieces stuck in his neck and arm.

Just where was Lucas? Why was he disappearing every night? And with whom is the meeting? Whom do I call now? Who'll help me now?

"James!!" I quickly ran to him and kneeled down, taking him in my arms. My body was shaking, my hand on his head and the other one around his shoulder.

"E-Everything is going to be fine. I am sorry. I had top-protect myself. Y-You just wouldn't s-stop." I cried silently and felt his lips parting against my neck, he was breathing weakly.

"I am so sorry, my love." I heard him whispering and I looked at him. His eyes so light and brightly. So soft. He then lost his consciousness. f**k this, I'll do it myself. I quickly dialed the number 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"My husband is bleeding badly. Please come as fast as possible. Please." My voice cracked at the end of my sentence, my tears falling non-stop down my cheeks.

-

I pulled him back and looked at his neck and arms. He is really bleeding so badly, I am scared. What if he loses too much blood? He is sweating and his face showing how much in pain he is.

"Where the hell is the f*****g ambulance?" I hugged him and kissed his forehead. Already 15 min passed and they finally came.

-

"He lost too much blood. What is your blood type, Mrs. Collin?" He asked me and I sighed.

"B," I answered shortly and the doctor shook his head as he bit his lip.

"Do you by any chance know a member of his family, who has the blood type A?" He asked me and I gulped. Where are actually James's parents? I didn't meet them for a while after James came back after 5 years. Neither did I met them when he came back after 6 months from Los Angeles.

I looked at the doctor helplessly and his gaze landed on my neck, my eyes widen as he was about to touch my neck and ask me what probably happened.

"I do."

A sudden voice startled us both, we then both looked at the person.

"A-Aiden?"

He smiled at me and walked beside me, nodding twice. "I have blood type A. Where can I donate blood?" He asked and the doctor smiled, showing him the way and he followed him.

I was confused. Of course, I was. Why would he help James? Why is he even in this hospital? Just ... why?

Someone tapped my shoulder and I turned around, looking at the boy, who was looking suspiciously at me.

"Eva?"

"David?!"

I looked from head to toe at him and gasped. "I thought you were a dance teacher! I thought you were somewhere else! What are you even?"

I did sound as if I knew him for years, but I really did. David was the class president and the sunshine in my class. He also was a transfer student.

"What are you talking about? I mean, yeah I do a dance in my free time ... but that's it. Why are you here?" He asked me as he raised his eyebrows. David smiled at me. He always loved me a lot. I was like his little sister to him and he like my big brother to me.

And then, I felt sad. I felt guilty. But most of all, I felt scared of James and myself.

"James ... he lost a lot of blood." I burst in tears, David pulled me for a hug and was calming me down.

-

I was drinking my latte macchiato he ordered for me, he was talking about his job, how much he loved it to help and heal people.

"Eva ... what exactly happened? You can tell me." He held my hand warmly and showed me his bright smile.

"I don't know. I mean ... I do know. Look, David ..." I came close with my face to him, wanting to explain everything. I didn't want the others to hear us. I wanted to try a - secret telling scene - just like I watched in the dramas. Although there was no one. Only both us.

"James got so mad and I tried to calm him down. I was scared and then he ... hurt me. For the first time, he hurt me. But I don't want to talk about this. What I am curious about and very confused is ... what he told me while he hurt me." I said and David's eyes widen. He bit his lip and looked around, then ruffled his hair as he changed his sitting position.

"Eva, I don't know if I can tell you this. But since you're my lovely sister and we were close back then, I guess still are, I do trust you so I will tell you. You love James with all your heart after all, so you have to know it." He said and I nodded, I then took a sip of my tasty latte macchiato.

"You see, James suffers from Dissociative identity disorder. And-"

"WHAT?!" I spat everything on his face and started to cough, I quickly took a tissue from my bag and wiped his face.

He had a frustrated expression and sent me a death glare, I cleared my throat. "What is this?" I asked and he took a deep breath.

"Dissociative identity disorder, also known as multiple personality disorder, is a mental disorder characterized by at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. There is often trouble remembering certain events, beyond what would be explained by ordinary forgetfulness." He said I blinked a few times.

What??? Excuse me, what? Why is he using these words?

"I still don't get it. Please use words I can understand." I sighed while I shrugged.

"Look, dummy. Listen! Multiple personality disorder, a neurosis in which the personality becomes dissociated into two or more distinct parts each of which becomes dominant and controls behavior from time to time to the exclusion of the other parts." He said and I let out an "Ahh", showing him that I got it.

Hopefully ... most of it.

"I now get it. But why does James have it? I mean...he had and still has a perfect life without any worries." I said and he took another deep breath.

"It's thought to be a complex psychological condition that is likely caused by many factors, including severe trauma during early childhood. Usually extreme, repetitive physical, s****l, or emotional abuse." David said and I raised my eyebrows.

"But he didn't have it before-"

"He did. He talked to me about it and that's the reason why I wanted to become a physician. To heal him. Eva, why do you think he was so cold to you when he came as the transfer student in our class? He couldn't control himself at all. But inside, he was the real James. I also couldn't tell if the fake and the real one were talking to me."

I felt so different feelings right now. I had so many thoughts and worries. If it was so easy for him to hurt me, then this means.

"Meaning he can-"

"Hurt you anytime. It's like it's forcing him to do so. The fake one. He's forcing James to hurt you." He said and I didn't know what to do now or what to say.

"Why do you think he went to Los Angeles?" David asked me.

"Because of his dad's job. That's what he told me." I said and David shook his head.

"Because he had to go there. His dad called him to come and told him that he found someone, who could help him. And when he came after 6 months, he was in peace. Meaning the fake one didn't appear anymore, didn't steal his time and body."

-

I am now walking to James's room, David's words in my head.

"It's thought to be a complex psychological condition that is likely caused by many factors, including severe trauma during early childhood ... usually extreme, repetitive physical, s****l, or emotional abuse."

Just what happened these 5 years when he disappeared?

"How do I notice when the fake one and the real one is the one I talk right now and is standing in front of me?" I asked him.

"His eyes. Focus only on his eyes and you'll notice."

The fake one, his eyes dark brown, showing hate and anger. His bad and scary side.

The real one, his eyes bright and light brown, showing love and warmth. His good and caring side.

So that morning ... his eyes turned dark brown, right?

I bumped into a hard chest and quickly apologized. I was about to continue walking, but a hand stopped me from doing so.

I turned around and saw Aiden smiling so warmly at me. I don't know why, but I didn't feel scared at all of him. The way he was smiling at me made me smile too.

But I stopped smiling quickly when it hit me. Aiden hurt me. I slowly pushed his hand which was holding my wrist so lovely.

"Look, Eva. I am sorry for lying to you. I know you remember all of this. And the burn mark, I did it for you. So that you'll be safe ... with me." He said and I scoffed.

But I can tell that he's not obsessed. He is honestly in love with me. I see it in his eyes and it's not an obsession. More, it's like he really wants to protect me from Aiden.

Maybe Aiden knows about James.

"Then why did you r**e me?" I asked and he backed.

"I just saved him. I just donated my blood for him. Instead of saying "Thank you." You blame me for something I didn't even-" He didn't end his sentence. I titled my head to the side and he smiled at me again.

"Never mind. Just know that there's someone, who'll be always there for you. Will protect and love you. And will do everything so that you'll be safe. I did burn the mark on your neck, that's right. But I did it for you. Meanwhile, he wanted to kill you by choking you to death."

With those words, he left.

Aiden's POV

Why doesn't she get it?

Why is she so stubborn, naive ... so beautiful, cute and adorable?

He could hurt her anytime, just like he did back then. Now that he came back ...

I hope Sara is doing great.

James's POV, 1 day later.

I woke up and felt the weight on my lap, I looked at the side and saw her sleeping peacefully. I don't know why I am here. Neither do I know what I did after I found out about the burn mark.

He took control over me. Again.

And I hurt her. Again.

I had bandages, a lot of bandages around my right arm, around my neck and one around my hand. But when I looked at her neck, I started to cry silently. I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.

It's early in the morning and she was sleeping here beside me, it must've been uncomfortable. Her lips parted as she tried to breathe properly. Her hand was on her neck, her nose red and her eyes puffy. Her cheeks were light pink and her eyebrows furrowed.

She was crying.

'You are weak. She makes you weak. That's why I had to hurt her. I was forced to.' Stop. Stop hurting her and stop appearing! I won't allow you to hurt her again as you did back then!

'Remember that I am a part of you. I am your dark side, that hides and will appear anytime when you lose control. And when you lose control over yourself, I will take control over you.' Why? I thought you disappeared!

'You thought I disappeared? I didn't. I was hiding and was waiting. And now her being with you, making you weak. I will appear more often. Mark my words.' Enough. I am tired.

'I miss her. I also missed her. I missed her lips, touch and having her under me. She felt good. Don't you want to feel her too? I know that you're thirsty and needy too.' If you do it again, I will kill myself.

'Really? Just what kind of love do you both have? Why do you love her so much? You really will sacrifice yourself for her? I am impressed and speechless. She is also different. Just like you. But who cares? I am back again.'

"Shut up!" I hit my head, covered my ears and she woke up, looking at me with her red eyes. I avoided her eyes. I had to. I couldn't look into her eyes anymore after I hurt her.

"James-"

"LEAVE!" I shouted at her, she stood up and tried to hug me, I didn't let her do this. It makes me weak. I sent her a death glare and tears started to form in her eyes.

No ... don't cry again because of me.

Just stop crying. Stupid Eva. Don't you see that you make me weak? I will hurt you. He will force me to hurt you. It was always like this. He hurts and I feel the pain.

"I TOLD YOU TO f*****g LEAVE!" I half barked, then covered my face, hiding my tears from her. She took the opportunity to hug me as tight as she could.

"I am bad. I hurt you. So why are you still here? Why wouldn't you leave? Why aren't you afraid and scared? Why aren´t you afraid of me of me after all I put you through. After you went through so much, because of me." He was trying to sound strong and wanted me to leave right then and there. Laying weakly on the hospital bed, he was looking to the other side and didn´t want to look into my eyes after what happened earlier. To me, he sounded too broken and hurt.

"I´m not afraid of you, i***t. Neither do I want to leave. I am just so in love with you and don´t you notice that after all we both been through, our love becomes stronger and stronger?" I asked him, trying to hold his hand and make him look at me. But he was avoiding me, he didn´t want me to see his tears.

"Please look at me, James." Letting out a shaky breath, I was begging him. But he shook his head and wiped his tears away.

"What will happen to you when he appears again, huh? Eva, you should be scared. My love, not even your love could save you and you know that."

I whimpered.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I f*****g love you!" She said between her sobs, kissing my cheeks and forehead.

"So, please don't ask me to leave." She took my face in her hands and I pulled her closer to me. She was looking so deeply into my eyes, looking for something. Then she giggled softly.

"I am not scared of you, i***t. Neither afraid. But I am scared of you telling me to leave. I am afraid of that." She smiled, wiping my tears away. Her forehead resting on mine, we both closed our eyes. I love her so much. God, I love this girl with all my might, soul and heart.

"You should be." I quickly kissed her before she could say anything. I pulled her closer by her neck and kissed her passionately. She kissed me back and smiled between the kiss.

Everything is a mess. Everything is just so messed up. We are a mess, my love.

"I did something. I regret it. I regret it, my love. Please forgive me." I whispered against her lips when I pulled from the kiss and caressed her cheek.