The Beta's Daughter

The Bear

I ducked my head. Jacob’s lips brushed my forehead as I moved, and he let out a small whimper. My heart clenched for him, but I wasn’t ready.

            “I’m sorry,” I whispered. I held onto him tightly, not wanting him to move away. “Please, Jake,” I said. “After the ball. It’s not that long away. I just – I can’t. Not until then. I have to know.”

“But why?” He asked, his voice pained. I tried to meet his eyes, but he averted his gaze. “Why am I not enough for you? Really, Ari, please just think about this,” he begged. “What is a mate going to give you that I can’t?”

            I gulped. I didn’t have an answer for him. I knew that I loved him, and I was certain that I would be happy with him. We could mate and live as mates, but part of me would always wonder if there was someone better suited to me out there.

            “Please,” I said again. I didn’t have anything more to offer him.

He nodded mutely, and then moved away from me and tucked himself under the covers. I got up to turn out the light, and felt my way back to the bed. I clambered in beside him silently, and faced away from him.

            As I was dozing off I felt him pulling me towards him. I lifted my head so that his arm could slip underneath, and he pulled me flush against his front. “Are we okay?” I whispered, my voice laced with sleep.

“Of course we are,” he whispered back, his lips tickling my air. Warm and content, safe in his arms, I fell asleep.

            I awoke blearily to the alarm on my phone chirping. I groaned and rolled over blindly, feeling for it to turn it off. I frowned when I realised my previously occupied bed was empty, and that the alarm had somehow stopped on its own. I paused. Those two things must be connected.

            I squinted into the darkness. Jacob was stood beside the bed, holding his index finger to his lips. “Go back to sleep,” he murmured. “I’ve got to go to training. There’s no way you can.”

            I was confused by his words, and then I felt it. My arm, throat, and chest throbbed with pain, which grew sharper with every passing second. I moaned, pressing my face into the pillow to muffle the sound. Jacob started rubbing soothing circles onto my back, but it did nothing to numb the pain. I tried to take a deep breath, but it caught in my throat.

            “Wait here,” he said, as if I had plans to leave. I grumbled something incoherent into my pillow, and then listened to the sound of his quick, light footsteps as they left the room.

            I was still laying flat on my front when he returned. He shook me gently, and said “Painkillers, okay?”

            I dragged myself upright. The morning sun was glowing through my thin curtains, giving Jacob a softly glowing backlight. He looked handsome, his hair tousled from sleep and his eyes droopy and fond. He passed me a glass of water and four tablets. “The doc prescribed them for you. Your body heat will burn two up too quickly for you to feel the effects. She gave them to your mum, and then she gave them to me. I guess she knew you’d want me here,” he said, and punctuated his words with a smug smile. I didn’t have the strength or energy to laugh, but I hoped that he could see my amusement in my eyes. I took the pills in quick succession, one after the other, desperate for the throbbing pain to go away.

            When I awoke next the sun was streaming through my curtains, the whole room aglow with golden light. Jacob was nowhere to be seen, and I frowned. I caught sight of the white wolf on my table, though, and I pulled myself upright.

            The pain from earlier had gone, thankfully, but I could feel the shadow of it, hovering at the sidelines. Next to the carving was a note, along with a large cup of water and more painkillers. Jacob had written out how often I had to take them, even though the doctor had done that and attached it to the meds, too. I smiled. He was sweet.

            Part of me wished that I could give him everything he wanted. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him. Another, more logical part of my brain reasoned that the Mating Ball was only six days away. We could both wait that long.

            I took another four painkillers, and then sat face-to-face with my wolf fetish. Jacob had said I should speak to it. Calling it it felt wrong, so I decided that I’d attribute it a gender. It became a he. Wolves were pathfinders, Jacob had said, so I decided to tell him about my confusion regarding my own path. I asked him questions, too, wanting to befriend this spirit guide. I could vaguely recall a lecture I’d watched online about the Zuni tribe, and I knew that the amount of protection and guidance a fetish could give was related to how well cared for it was. I decided to do some more research into them.

            I skipped my shower, instead slipping my sweatshirt and tee off, putting a sports bra on, and then chucking my sweater back on again. I dug out a pair of gym leggings, too, rather than opting for shorts as I usually would. I wanted to be cosy today.

            I gave myself a thorough spray of deodorant and body spray. Both were coconut and vanilla scented, and I hoped that that, plus my shower before bed last night, would be enough to carry me through until the evening. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, and walked straight past my makeup.

            I checked my phone. It was almost eleven, which was the latest I’d slept in – maybe ever? It was no wonder my stomach was growling at me. I slipped on some ankle sports socks and my converse, and headed to the smaller kitchen on our floor. I wasn’t in the mood for socialising.

            I ate slowly, mentally planning out my day. I’d been drafting an essay about how useful folklore was in modern life; mostly creating mind maps and beginning to search for sources. I wanted to look into tribal folktales, investigating how tradition has been passed down through generations to teach the children of today. Wolfic folklore is intrinsically entangled with Native American folklore, so my research crossed over, often making it harder for me to pin down references that I could use.

            We did, of course, have legends of our own, passed down through our pack; which was, in effect, a tribe itself. Silver Crescent had some of the most interesting history – I thought so, at least. There was only one other pack which had such rich folklore surrounding it: Lapis Moon. It could be seen from the hilltop I’d taken Rosa to, a small settlement down by the sea. Most of our legends were about the Elders, a group of forest-dwellers who shifted into wolf folk to protect their lands and children; it was said that they watched over us now, half-spirit and half-alive. Lapis Moon’s stories, however, were based around the sea their pack lived by. For some reason, my wolf seemed to perk up when I thought about the Lapis Moon pack. I shrugged it off, but added their folklore to my list of things to research. It would make for a nice break amongst my actual workload.

            I also needed to see Rosa. I paused, swallowing my bite of toast, and then mindlinked her. Hey, Rosa? Can I come over?

Her reply was instant. Yes! How are you?

I’m doing well, I replied. Are you? Wait, I faltered. Tell me everything in a bit. See you in… twenty?

Sounds perfect, she said.

            I hurriedly finished the rest of my toast, and then jogged downstairs and out of the pack house. The painkillers were doing their job – I felt surprisingly spritely as I walked across the grounds. I took a quick detour to check on my truck; it had only been in my possession for a day, and I’d already let somebody else drive it. It looked fine, and the assortment of blankets, cushions, and candles still littered the back. I re-arranged them deftly, so that the cushions were leant neatly against the cabin of the truck, and then continued on my way to Rosa’s cottage.

            I took a meandering path that edged along the forest, full of bluebells, daisies, and cowslips, bright amongst the sweeping ferns. The sun was high above me, its rays bouncing off of every surface in the encroaching woodland. I heard a twig snap in the distance and turned my head; I couldn’t see anything, so I put the noise down to an inquisitive deer.

            The cottage Rosa and her family lived in was set back into the woods, moss-covered trees swaying softly above its roof. They had a large wooden porch to the back of the house, looking out into the forest, and I made my way round to it, expecting to find Rosa there.

            She was sat on a wooden chair with her feet up on the table next to it. In her hands was a sketchbook, and she was idly drawing a large bear splashing through a river, towering mountains framed by a setting sun in the back. When she saw me she immediately brought her legs down and stood up, pulling me into a crushing hug. I winced, but hugged her back just as hard.

            “You’re okay?” I asked, my face buried into her shoulder. She stepped back and I took a seat beside her.

“Of course I am,” she said, her usual smug smile coming back. “But what about you? I was so scared,” she admitted, her gaze fixed on the wooden planks beneath her feet.

“Don’t you start,” I moaned. “You’re almost as bad as Jacob.”

“He was a mess,” she said, straightening up. “You’ve really got him hooked, Ari. How’d you do it, girl?” She teased.

I laughed. “Don’t act like Josh is any different.”

“True,” she shrugged. “These wolf boys aren’t as tough as they seem. Really, though,” she said, leaning forward in her seat, “how are you holding up?”

“Aside from all of the mothering,” I paused to roll my eyes, “honestly? A lot better. I’m stuffed full of pain meds, and they’re definitely helping. I should be back to normal in a couple of days.” I smiled reassuringly. “Really. I’m sorry for scaring you. I wanted to say thanks, too. For getting me back safely.”

“Anytime.” She leant back, seemingly happy with her appraisal of my wellbeing. She propped her feet back up on the table. “You want a drink?”

“Maybe just some water,” I replied. She c****d an eyebrow at me.

“You know where the tap is,” she winked. “You can get me one, too, while you’re at it.”

“Hey!” I laughed. “I’m injured, here.”

“And you’re also the one that said you didn’t want to be mothered a second ago. Chop chop,” she added, waving her hand in the general direction of the kitchen.

            I could hear her snickering at me as I made my way into the house. The kitchen was the room connected to the back porch. The counters were covered in large jars, full of oats and pasta, lentils and other dried beans, as well as two spice racks stood either side of the hob which were stacked with similar jars that were much smaller, and filled with assorted colourful herbs and spices. The wide windowsill was teeming with greenery in growing pots; I could see the words parsley and sage and coriander stuck onto the three plants closest to me, scribbled on scraps of paper and taped onto their pots. I pulled a couple of glasses out of the cupboard and considered them as I ran the tap.

            “Hey,” I said as I returned outside, carefully carrying two full glasses. “You don’t think your family would happen to have a spare one of those ceramic pots, do you?”

“Probably,” she said, looking up from her drawing. I put one of the glasses down in front of her. “Why?”

“Jacob got me this present-“ I began, but she interrupted me with a screech.

“Your present!” She yelled. I put my hands over my ears, but she’d already scrambled out of her chair and started to scurry inside. By the time I’d made the decision to follow her I could hear her stomping back down the stairs again, so I settled in my chair and stayed where I was.

            “It’s not wrapped,” she said, holding something behind her back. From the way her elbows were pointed outwards it seemed to be large and unyielding. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, and then said, “Well, come on! Close your eyes.”

I did as I was instructed, shutting my eyes and holding my hands out. Something cool and smooth was pressed against my palms; it felt like a thin but weighty rectangle. I opened my eyes.

            I was holding a sizeable photo frame, which looked as though it had been hand carved from cedar wood. Inside was a beautiful watercolour, depicting three wolves: one stood in the middle, facing forwards, and two set slightly back behind it, turned slightly away. The one in the middle was brown, the one to the left cream, and the one on the right was a silver toned white. I smiled – they were Rosa, Jacob, and I. A beautiful, bottle green forest surrounded them, with an ethereal moon shining high above.           

            “Rosa,” I breathed, awe-struck. “This is incredible.”

“You’re welcome,” she smirked. “I’m glad you like it.” Then her face softened. “You can take us with you anywhere, now.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I rolled my eyes. “Just because Jacob and I aren’t mates doesn’t mean I plan on leaving anytime soon.” I leant in closer to her, tucking the painting to my chest. “He’s asked… Jake said he’d still mate with me.” I ducked my head, feeling embarrassed. I wasn’t sure why.

“You really have done a number on him,” she said, her face contemplative. “What did you say?”

“I said I wasn’t sure. I wanted to wait, but with the Mating Ball coming up I felt like I had to make a decision. So I said that if neither of us found our mates there, I’d mate with him and be his Luna.”

Rosa let out a low whistle. “That’s a big commitment, Ari.”

“I know,” I whined. “I love him, Rose, I really do. But something in me says I should wait. My wolf wants to wait. But Jake is so sure that we should be together.”

“If Josh tried that on me I’d dump him.” I knew this wasn’t a joke.

“But I’m not you, and Jake isn’t Josh,” I pointed out with a smirk of my own. “Plus I’d love to stay here. It scares me that if I meet my mate I might have to join his pack.”

“Only if he’s higher status than you,” she said. “No Omega is going to be dragging a Beta off to live with him, is he?”

“True,” I nodded. “But I think, if I found mine and Jake didn’t, I mean, I don’t think I could bring my mate here. It would hurt him too much. He tried to kiss me.”

“Did you kiss him back?”

“We didn’t kiss. I moved.” Guilt clamped around my heart as I said it. Rosa, however, was unperturbed.

“That’s my girl,” she laughed. “Play that man.”

“Rosa,” I groaned. “I’m not playing him. I’m trying to do the opposite.”

“I know, I know.” She held her hands up. “I’m only joking. Just be careful, Ari. The heart wants what the heart wants.”

“What does that mean?” I asked. Just then, a shout came from inside.

“Rosa!” Her mum bellowed. “Can you take your brother for a run now, please?” The word please was so strained that I was worried her throat would snap. Rosa sighed.

            “I’d better go,” she said. “I promised I’d take Pip on a run today. He wants to race my wolf.” She rolled her eyes. Pip was her youngest brother, and Pip was not his real name. I hadn’t heard him be called Marcus in years. He was tiny, even for an eight year old. He’d quickly been nicknamed Pip, and unfortunately for him, it had stuck.

            “Does he think he can win?” I laughed. Pip wasn’t able to shift yet, which meant he’d be taking her on on foot.

“I hope not. I’m not in the mood for crushing a young boy’s hopes and dreams today.” She winked. “You want to come?”

“I can’t,” I said regretfully. “I’m not meant to shift until my wolf has had time to heal. Plus I’ve got some studying to do.” Hearing this, Rosa groaned.

“You’re actually, officially, totally a nerd. You know that?”

“I do, and I’m fine with it.” I grinned and stood up, hoisting the painting between my hands. “Thanks again for the painting, Rose. It’s beautiful.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, with a genuine smile. I could hear thunderous footsteps rounding the stairs, so I pulled Rosa in for a hug before Pip arrived and could tease her for it. I gave him a quick wave, which I don’t think he noticed, and then set off back towards the pack house.     

            I headed straight upstairs. The pack house was fairly empty, just a few Omegas in the kitchen preparing for dinner. I smiled at them as I passed, but didn’t engage them in conversation. They looked busy, and I was excited to have some alone time with my books. The last couple of days had been intense, and some semblance of normalcy would be a relief.

            I placed the painting carefully on the floor of my bedroom, propped up against the wall I wanted to hang it on. I let myself flop backwards onto my bed, feeling my neck and arm ache. I sighed, sitting up and popping the lid on my tablets.

I let myself sit for a while before I dragged myself up. I tugged my sweatshirt off so that I could put a t-shirt on under it. I was starting to feel warm, and I wanted to sit in one of the window seats in the library; when the sun streamed in there it could heat up quickly, so I wanted to give myself the option of wearing less layers. Plus, I realised that my bandages would need changing at some point, and as nice as the doctor was I didn’t fancy letting her tend to me in my bra.

My wolf fetish glinted in the afternoon sun. I realised I’d forgotten to grab one of Rosa’s ceramic pots for him, so I made a mental note to ask her about it again the next time I saw her. I smiled at him, taking a seat on my bed so that I could ask how his day had been. Then, I turned him towards the window so that he’d be able to watch the setting sun as the evening drew in.

Satisfied that I’d taken moderately good care of him so far, I gave him a quick smile before packing a small bag. I slid in my laptop and a notepad, and then grabbed a handful of pens from my pencil pot and chucked them into the front pocket. I’d been meaning to buy a pencil case for a while, but there always seemed to be more important things to do. Knowing I’d left a book on my desk somewhere, I dug around hunting for a small tome entitled Native American Cautionary Tales. Eventually I found it, and that went into the bag too. I gave myself a quick spray, checked my hair in the mirror, and – remembering to bid my wolf carving goodbye as I left – slipped out of my room and down the stairs.

I’d just settled myself in my favourite window seat when I felt a probing mindlink. I let it in, wondering whom it was. Ari? Came Jacob’s voice.

Hi, I replied, bemused. He wasn’t usually so conversational.

I’m in a meeting, he said. Just – don’t be late to dinner tonight, okay, and don’t skip it. Mum has an announcement to make.