Trace of A Broken Lead

thirteen.penmanship

N  A  T  A  S  H  A

.  .  .

I was thirteen years old when I heard something in the mansion.

I can't sleep and I spend four hours just to lay down but when I heard something, it caught my attention. I climb down my bed and followed the sound. Hindi ko gusto ang tunog na may isang bagay na tumatama sa sahig, natatakot ako lalo na't kung paulit-ulit. Ngayong nakaririnig ako ng tunog mula sa malaking bagay na tumatama sa may sahig.

Parang nasa horror movie, kaya pigil rin ang paghinga ko dahil sa kaba.

Agad akong tumigil at nagtago sa may malaking cabinet nang makarinig ako ng ingay.

"Is this the all of it?" someone asked and when I peaked, I saw Mr. Walter talking to someone I didn't recognize.

"Yeah," tumingin ako sa paligid nila at nakita ang limang malalaking metal na box sa tabi nito. May iilang lalaki rin ang nagbubuhat at tinatabi iyon.

"Are you sure you don't need help? Medyo mabigat at kailangan ng tatlong tao para buhatin ang isa—"

"I can handle it, I have my. . . comrades."

"Comrades, my ass. Are they worthy of your trust?" pinaningkitan ko ang mata ko habang kinakabisado ang itsura ng lalaki. May kalakihan ang katawan nito at 'yung bigote niya rin kitang-kita ko, nakacap lang siya na kulay red at naka-casual attire.

"Well, are you?" Mr. Walter taunted, his feature was so strong, I can't help but to admire him. Even though his hair was already white, his wrinkles wasn't vivid even though he kept on smiling.

The man held his shoulder, "Come on, I'm your comrade, right?"

"You are,"

"Pero di mo pa rin sinasabi sa akin ang project mo."

"Sinabi mo ba 'yung sa'yo?"

"Well, it's just a plain study of immunity in their bodies and some genes to inherit. Yeah?"

"Shut up, I don't want to hear it." Mr. Walter shrugged off the man's hand on his shoulder.

"By the way, just want to inform you that I have a new total of 13 specimens."

"I don't fvckin' care, just go."

"Buong angkan sila, pre. Halos puro babae." tinulak na ni Mr. Walter ang lalaki, "And you know what they can do? They can give birth for almost 15 babies in one time. Bro, that's insane! Parang baboy, diba?"

Hindi ko nagustuhan ang narinig ko kaya napaatras ako sa gulat, natamaan ko ang isang vase kaya naman muntik na itong matumba pero bago pa iyon mabasag mismo sa harap ko, tumakbo na ako pabalik sa kwarto ko.

Back then, I was so curious in everything to the point that I am already digging for my own death. Dati, gustong-gusto kong malaman kung bakit ganito ang nangyayari sa akin. Gusto ko ring malaman kung bakit ganon ang pinagusapan nila. Nag-search ako patungkol sa multiple birth pero iilan lang ang nakita ko, it was a rare case.

Hindi mawala sa isip ko ang narinig ko at ngayong nalaman ko na ang lahat patungkol sa trabaho ni Mr. Walter, nasisigurado akong hindi lang siya nag-iisa.

I didn't knew that it will be the worse thing that I'll ever heard than the banging noise.

Hindi titigil si Mr. Walter sa ginagawa niya, hindi ko alam kung makukuntento pa siya sa mga nalaman niya. I don't know when will this end.

Bumalik kami sa pabrika habang hindi ako umiimik, tumigil na rin ang pag-iyak ko. Natatakot ako para sa kapatid niya, dumagdag pa ang mga alaalang muling nagbalik. I'm just overthinking at alam kong 'yon din ang iniisip niya sa akin.

Why would I care for his sister, by the way?

Nang makababa kami sa truck ay hinintay ko siya na makalabas at makalapit sa akin. Kakausapin ko na sana siya nang bigla na lang may yumakap sa kaniya.

"Where did you go? Bigla ka na lang nawala." hindi ko napansin si Jane sa labas ng pabrika, gabi na siguro kaya hindi ko siya nakita. Agad kong iniwas ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa.

Hindi ko na hinintay pa na makasagot ang lalaking 'yon at pumasok na sa loob sa may pabrika. Napatigil pa ako nang makita kong may dalawang lalaki ang nakaupo sa sofa, sabay silang napatingin sa akin.

Nakilala ko si Haymitch pero saglit na kumunot ang noo ko sa isa pang lalaki. He have a reactangular eyeglasses and he seems like he's in our age.

Kapansin-pansin na lagi na silang tumatambay dito, and who's the new one?

Hindi ko na lang sila pinansin at pumasok na lang sa kwarto at agad na humiga sa kama kahit na alam kong hinding-hindi ako makakatulog.

I felt tired mentally. Pilit kong iniiwanan ang nakaraan para makapag-bagong buhay. I wanted a new life but it seems like the reality has been pushing me to my own death. The reality of the past that will never leave me. Ang akala ko, kapag nalaman ko na ang katotohanan matuto na akong tanggapin ang realidad at mas makilala ito pero parang mas gugustuhin ko na lang na maging inosente at magbulag-bulagan nang sa gayon ay hindi ako hinahabol ng realidad. Para hindi ko na kailangang pumili sa susunod kong gagawin kapag nalaman ko ang katotohanan.

I felt pressured by my own words. I just want to help him see his sister, I want them to meet and have a talk. Ayokong mapalapit siya kay Kuya. Gusto kong patunayan na kaya kong makatulong nang hindi lang nagbibigay ng enerhiya. But I guess, I'm pushing myself too hard, I'll just try again next time.

Nang mag-umaga na ay doon lang ako nakaramdam ng gutom kaya kumuha ako ng pagkain at dumiretsyo sa labas upang magpa-araw. My way of recharging.

I sat in the pavement while munching my crispy bread, sana lang maubos ko ang buong pack nito. Habang ngumunguya ako ay nakatingin ako sa kalangitan. Medyo natatakpan ng makapal na ulap ang araw pero sobrang liwanag pa rin ng kapaligiran. Ang ganda rin ng hugis ng ulap na parang bulak, kulay asul din ang kalangitan na para bang may magandang araw ngayon.

I heaved a deep sigh when I heard something behind me.

"Just stay where you are," I said, not looking at my back.

"You're here." Haymitch said in a matter of fact. I rolled my eyes when I heard his footstep behind me. He tilted his head just to look at me, and I gave him a glance before staring back at the sun.

"Akala ko umalis na kayo," I see him shrug in my peripheral view..

"I'm really amaze that you still have your eyes."

I chuckled and took a bite from my bread, "I wish I'm just blind, too."

Umupo rin siya sa tabi ko pero pinanatili niya ang distansya niya sa akin. Mukhang ayaw niyang malaman ko kung anong kaya niya, but sad for him, I already know.

"Why is that?"

Natakpan nanaman ng ulap ang araw kaya tumingin na ako sa kaniya. Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago sumagot, "Basta,"

"Akala ko sasagot ka talaga." Tumaas pa ang dalawang kilay niya sa akin at sumilay sa mukha niya ang ngiti kaya napangiti rin ako.

"Alam mo kahit kailan, hindi ako nginitian ng ganyan nung lalaking 'yon." I mumbled and brush my fingers with my hand, "Tipid lang ngumiti 'yon at hindi katulad sa'yo na sincere."

"Sincere?" balik na tanong niya sa akin.

"Oo. At kung minsan, 'yung pagtawa niya parang sarcastic."

"He's the man who hates the world." I nodded at his comment.

"Jane called him Tarzan, do you also call him at that name?" Malakas na pag-tawa ang narinig ko kaya napatitig ako sa kaniya.

"He would punch me if I would call him like that. And it's fvckin' lame, you know." I smirked when I saw disgust in his face.

"Then what do you call him?"

"Well, he call the first syllable of my name, 'Hay' so I also call him Eph." he chuckled at me.

"Are you serious?" taas noong sabi ko.

"Do I?"

I frowned at him, "You're serious."

"Siguro, isang beses ko lang naman siyang tinawag. He called me so often."

"I think he was saying hey, 'yung english ng hoy."

"It's an insult if you deny it." he shrugged.

"Are you and him friends?"

"You're interested with him?"

"Ugh," I frowned again, "Magkaibigan nga kayo. Hindi kayo sumasagot ng diretsyo."

"Just a black thing." he shrugged and leaned on his back with his palm on the ground.

"Sino nga pala 'yung kasama mo kagabi?"

"You pay attention to me?" he suddenly beamed so I immediately shook my head.

"It's okay not to answer though."

"He's Kyle, a friend of mine."

Tumango na lang ako at hindi nagtanong pa dahil hindi rin naman ako interesado.

"Why are you here, Haymitch? May kailangan ka ba?"

Hindi ko mabasa ang nasa isip niya, hindi ko alam kung nag-iisip ba siya o hindi nanaman siya sasagot.

Tatayo na sana ako nang magsalita siya, "Do you know Beatrice?"

Natigil ako at bigla ko nanaman naalala si Beatrice. Agad na kumunot ang noo ko nang banggitin niya ang pangalan nito.

"You know her?"

"She's just a friend. Mukhang kilala mo siya, nagreact ka, e." nakangiting sabi nito sa akin.

"How do you know her?" I asked, now, alert.

What if he's that man and the reason of why she was staying in this timeline? No, I don't want to think of that. May dahilan kung bakit kilala niya si Beatrice at kung bakit nandito si Haymitch sa lugar ng anak niya.

Tumayo na siya at bago pa siya makaalis ay agad ko siyang hinabol. I was about to talk when someone appeared in our back. He gave us an emotionless look, his long hair untied.

"Uuwi na raw kayo ni Jane." sabi niya habang nakatingin kay Haymitch, he just nodded and was ready to leave me when I held his arm.

"You need to answer me first." I said in stern voice and I felt weaker as I transfer my energy to him. Kumunot ang noo niya at agad na umatras para mabitawan ko siya. I held his arm tightly, shrugging off my weakness.

"Bitawan mo 'ko." madiing sabi niya pero pag-atras lang ang ginagawa niya at hindi tinatanggal ang kamay ko. So he can only kill someone using his hands, huh?

Nabitawan ko lang siya nang hilahin ng lalaki ang palapulsuhan ko para makalayo kay Haymitch, he gave me a hissed and a warning but I didn't look at him.

"What do you want?" malakas na sabi ko, "Why do you asked me if I know her?"

The man beside me grip my wrist tightly but he stayed quiet.

"Because she, somehow, hates you. 'Yon lang ang gusto kong sabihin." kumunot ang noo ko sa sagot niya sa akin.

Beatrice hates me? I scoffed under my breathe.

"Tell her the feeling's mutual. Same as her son." I hissed again until the man beside me pulled me in his back, so fast and not gentle, I almost stumbled in my feet.

"Jane's outside, she's waiting for you. Now, leave." he commanded but Haymitch just shrugged at him, slowly leaving with his heavy footstep and with his hands on his pocket.

That's the only thing that I heard in this stiff place until Haymitch was out of sight and the sound falters. Then the man faced me with knitted eyebrow, he's angry again. Ano nanamang ginawa ko sa lalaking 'to?

"What is wrong with you?" galit na sabi nito sa akin.

"What? Wala akong ginagawa sa'yo—"

"I didn't told you to hate my mother," I keep my mouth shut when I heard the word mother from him. So he's still calling her his mom?

"Whatever you heard from me that night, forget about it. Don't meddle with our family's problem. Anak ka lang ng kaibigan ng nanay ko, dapat wala kang pakialam."

"At wala ka ring pakialam kung anong mararamdaman ko sa nanay mo," madiing sabi ko habang nakatingin sa kaniya, "I chose this feeling of hatred at her, it's not your fault."

"But it started when I told you that." he pointed out. "She've done nothing to you to hate her. So stop."

Hindi na ako nakasalita nang mabilis siyang tumalikod at iniwan akong nakatayo rito.

Now, he's defending his mother. Parang kailan lang ay minumura niya ito sa harap ko, sinasabing hindi niya ito mapapatawad. Afterall, he's still her son and she's still her mother. Blood is thicker than water, huh?

Huminga ako ng malalim bago siya sinundan, siguro nga ay nadala lang siya ng galit noon. Sino nga ba ako para magalit kay Beatrice?

Ang akala ko ay hindi niya ako papansin matapos non pero nung kinagabihan ding iyon ay nilapitan niya ako. Nailang pa ako dahil nakatitig lang siya na para bang may gusto siyang sabihin.

"Oh," inabot ko sa kaniya 'yung lata ng juice na nasa tabi ko. Akala ko ay 'yon ang gusto niyang sabihin sa akin pero iniwas niya na ang tingin niya at nagsimulang kumain.

"She's safe, she managed to ran away." biglang sabi nito nang hindi tumitingin sa akin.

"Who?"

"Phoebe," I smile in relief when I heard his sister's name. I didn't say anything and just stare at him. There's no hint of hatred in his eyes the way he said her name, his tone was so calm.

"Ano?" inis na sabi nito nang mahuli ang titig ko.

"You don't hate her, do you?"

He stucked his tongue in the inside of his cheeks before looking at me. As usual, he didn't answer me. He pulled out something in his pocket and handed it to me. It's an envelope, it was folded in half and was a little bit crumpled.

I was confused while looking at it.

"What's this?"

"I sneaked in her unit and found that letter, safely hidden in her cabinet." With serious eyes, he commanded me to open the letter.

Hindi ko alam pero bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba, binasa ko muna kung kanino galing ito pero mas lalo lang akong nagtaka sa aking nakita.

To: Phoexe Dwight Eren

From: Epiales

"Phoexe? Is this just a typo?" I asked, confused of how does the sender miswrote x from b. " And who's Epiales?"

"Look at the content." mas lalo lang akong kinabahan dahil sobrang seryoso niya.

Binuksan ko na nga iyon pero agad akong napaubo sa nakita ko. May nakatuping yellow paper doon at isang picture. Isang picture ng estudyanteng babae na napupuno ng dugo habang basag ang ulo.

I read the content of the letter and I was dazed when I recognize the penmanship.

Dear Dwight,

  I am pretty sure that you already saw the picture that I gave to you. I am so amazed how you sketch that horrifying disgustingly scene on your sketch book. Isn't pretty?

  You know what, I am so dirty that time. I badly need to clean myself and I'm sure that I didn't leave a trace in the crime scene. You should thank me, because I saved you this time. If I leave a trace there, you'll be in jail right now. Why? Because of that sketch book of yours. Kapag nakita ng mga pulis 'yon, iisipin nilang plinano mo. Hindi ba ang galing ko? That's a coincidence. Hindi ko naman talaga gustong patayin 'yon, kaso ikaw eh. Pinakita mo 'yung drawing mo. Masyado syang maganda para makita ng iba. Atsaka pwede ba, Dwight? Ingatan mo nga yang drawing mo. Pinapahamak mo 'ko. Mag-ingat ka.

"Oh my. . ." gulat na sabi ko habang nakatitig sa nakasulat. Her sister is sketching the deaths that she's seeing in her nightmare. She can see death through her nightmares just like Beatrice.

"I know, that Epiales was her threat. We need to catch whoever's behind this. Could you—perhaps—trace who sended that letter to her? You can hack CCTV footage, right?"

I looked at him in horror, "It was Kuya Henry's handwriting."