FOREVER IS NOT A EVER AFTER

WRONG REASONS

I arrived at the ranch with spare time, as I turned on the red dirt road I felt a sense of wholeness, I could see the porch and Jerry my German Shepherd was lying on the steps. I named him that because of the movie k-9 I loved the dog! 

Went inside we eat something and my sister asked how was school and if there were any new guys, sometimes she is a pain. Mom wanted to know if everything in school was fine, so I gave some of the details but not too much that could lead into further questioning. 

“Mom! I’ll go give Pollock a quick work out so tomorrow morning he is ready for training”

“Sure honey just come back early”

I went out to the stables, “hey beautiful” I said stroking his nose. I put on the bridle and saddle up. First I head to the arena and start at a slow trot, but he ain’t moving as gracefully as he used to, I can feel a limp on his left hand. We move up to a gallop in small circles he has no problem with the one on the right but there is something definitely wrong to the left side. After 30 minutes of muscle relax and some workout we head to the trail that’s just outback of the house. I can feel him underneath me ready for me to let go and start running at full speed. I can only hold on for a while until I finally give in to his demands and we let go. I could feel the air in my face, we jump over fallen logs and some streams until we come to a stop near a little pond covered by some big trees and a lot of vegetation, when the water was calm you could see the bottom and some of the fishes that swim around. I get off and seat by the pond, but my mind drifts of to some blue eyes. 

I get back home give Pollock a brush before putting him in, add some fresh water and dad has already filled the nets with hay. I drag myself to my room with Jerry on my heals and prepare myself a nice hot bath. When I get out my loyal friend is laying at the base of the bed, he didn’t even bother to look up. I get inside the sheets and drift off to dream land. 

I get up early and clean up the stalls, and change the bedding of those that needed it. And get Pollock ready for training. 

I’m on the training arena warming up Pollock. I do a barrel circuit on a trot, but I can feel the limp again on the left hand. I decide to go once at a gallop but fail miserably as he isn’t going with ease, he keeps on closing in on the barrels. I thinks it’s because of the small limp. I decide to call it a day, and go find my dad. 

“Hey dad?” I call from Pollock’s stall

“Yeah” he pokes his head in. 

“I think there is something wrong with Pollock, he wasn’t running as usual and I kept feeling a limp on his left hand” 

“I’ll call the vet on Monday to check on him, meanwhile wrap him up”

“Sure”

As I’m leaving the barn my sister is coming in with her big blood bay horse. 

“How was training?” 

“Good, we still need a bit of speed on the last straight” 

She shrugged her shoulders and went inside. I know he won’t be getting any more speed he’s too big. I went to take a shower and work on some school work I had due on Monday. 

Sunday morning I clean up the stalls as always and help up my mom put up the BBQ for dinner. Then I head up to the city for tomorrow’s classes. 

I’m sitting in my apartment kitchen island waiting for coffee to be ready so I can go to my room read a little and sleep. Suddenly there’s a knock on the door. I have a guess of who it might be and a pair of blue eyes come to my mind. I go over and open the door, definitely not the pair of eyes I wanted to see but those green ones were also cute. 

“Hi” 

“Hey, what are you doing here? Who told you were I lived?” 

“Tony” and then he smiles 

“Oh” I look down to the floor

“So, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“Yeah sure! You want coffee?”

“No thanks, I don’t like coffee, water is just fine, and how was your weekend?”

“A lot of work on the ranch, but otherwise boring”

We spend almost 2 hours talking about nothing and everything just having a good time, when we realize it’s really late we say our good byes and I go to sleep, I couldn’t deny I felt downhearted for I was expecting someone else at the door, even though I had a good time. 

I was eager to get to art class it’s starting to be my favorite class. This time we were going to be working with pastels and I was going to see my favorite pair of eyes, away from the curious eyes of the classroom.  He is actually acting strange as of something is bothering but he can’t just let

It out and say it, I try to ease down the moment. “Hey, need any help with your cake,” he looks at me like I’ve grown 2 heads “you know pastels- cake as in Spanish?” 

He gives me a faint smile “oh! Didn’t get that one” that’s when I notice his work. 

“That little bunny doesn’t look too happy”

“I know and I keep on mixing what I already did with my hand” I just stat laughing and hold his hand. 

“Here try to support your had in the air that way you won’t smudge it all over, or you can also use a pencil underneath your hand and rest it there”. I was so concentrated showing him that I hadn’t noticed that he was looking at me instead of the drawing. I looked at him directly into his eyes, lost my self-there for a second when I realized I was still holding his hand and we were just inches away from each other’s face. I quickly let go and gave him my extra-long pencil. 

“Here try with this one” and turn away before he could see me blush. 

Next week went by rapid when I noticed it was already Friday. I had been avoiding Antony and Alejandro had been pasted to me in every class, even in lunch hour he would sit between me and Antony. Which worked because he kept on talking and basically I didn’t need to look at Antony’s direction. At first it was annoying but in every class Monica just kept up bothering Antony and he kept up letting her do it, she just called him names and that had me on my nerves, so I decided to focus my attention in to Alejandro. At least he had his attention on me. The only time when Antony looked at me was when we were in art or when we were alone, which by now was almost impossible. Big part of me hiding from him. I headed to the ranch as always but I wasn’t really eager to get there. I didn’t get to say goodbye to Antony he was gone before I walked out of the building. My weekend went by as always and even slower since the vet had come to check on Pollock and said I could not ride him for at least 15 days. He had to infiltrate for the pain and block the nerves, to help reduce the pain and inflammation. That didn’t spare me from my daily chores. But on Sunday I had planned to leave early. 

I got to the city and went to get some groceries first. I was waiting time, like waiting for something or someone. When I was arriving to my floor I found a bouquet of flowers outside of my door. Hoping they were from Antony, knowing they were not was revealing. They still had an A on the card. 

Next week was just like the last same thing over again just like a dejavú, but this time Antony didn’t even show for art class. So much of a friend he is, I’m stuck with the Alejandras who by the way are so absorbed one by the honors social events and the other by her básquetbol boyfriend leaving small to none space for us as friends. I’m starting to feel left out, there hasn’t even been a movie night yet. 

I’ve been seeing Antony a lot with Monica and Alejandro hasn’t left my side for one little bit. He walks me up to my car and to every classroom, it’s like he is afraid to leave me alone and someone will tell me something, he keeps asking if everything is ok. “Well no! The boy I think I like likes someone else, and the friend I thought I was gaining is now getting lost” I wanted to shout at him. He waits for me at the door after each class. It’s Friday and he walks me up to my car. Helps me with my backpack and as I’m getting inside my car he gives me a quick peck on the lips. He said nothing more just had this accomplishment look on his face, I swear I saw his eyes lock up on someone behind me for a second. But it took me a while to recover and by the time he was gone and turned around to see who was behind, whoever it was, was gone too. 

The weekend was the same, clean up stalls, brush the horses, work up those who could be worked up, and feed them. 

It’s Sunday and as I’m climbing up the stairs to my floor I can’t help but feel a heartache thinking’s of those blue eyes. When I reach the top I can see a figure standing on my door and I swear my heart skipped a beat, but then I recognized Alejandro. 

“Hey” I walked up to him

“Hey, want to go for an ice cream?” He had a nervous smile. 

“Sure just let me get my stuff inside”

“Here let me help”

We put everything inside and I got a light sweater it was starting to feel like autumn. We got to the park and I got a cookie ice cream. We sat down at a bench and I couldn’t feel like he was all jumpy like waiting for something to happen. We were both quiet when suddenly he takes my hand in his and looks me in the eyes. 

“There is something I wanted to ask you” 

“And what might that be that keeps you so nervous?” I ask holding on to his gaze

“Would you be my girlfriend?”

O wow that I was not expecting, my mind is bouncing every were and flashes of blue eyes come back. Should I say yes? Maybe I should, that way Antony would stop acting so strange around me, now that I have a boyfriend he might think that Monica won’t see me as a threat we could be friends, everything back to normal, and he could be with Monica. He took my hesitation as not a good sign, but as he was going to start talking I interrupted...

“Sorry, you caught me of guard, I know we don’t know each other much, but maybe we should give it a try, so... yes I would like to be your girlfriend” and I give him a shy smile and small kiss on the cheek. 

We walk back to my apartment, say good night and see you tomorrow. I throw myself in bed and I can’t stop from thinking in what mess have I gotten in to. Did I say yes for the wrong reason? Did I really wanted to say yes? 

I put on my earphones and start my favorite play list this time it started with “I Fall to Pieces” by Patsy Cline 

I fall to pieces

Each time I see you again

I fall to pieces

How can I be just your friend? ...

Each time someone speaks your name (speaks your name)

I fall to pieces

Time only adds to the flame

You tell me to find someone else to love

Someone who love me too (love me too)

The way you used to do (used to do)

But each time I go out with someone new

You walk by and I fall to pieces...