“Are those the only pack members we have left?” I ask even though I know the answer to my question. I’m hoping for a miracle here, but I know it’s not going to come.
Oh Godness, that’s almost all the members. We weren’t a big pack to begin with…and now I’m left with almost nothing.
I’ve been losing pack members ever since my father died.
Mina stares at me as if she doesn’t know what to say to me.
I can smell her indecision, she doesn’t want to disappoint me or hurt me, because our people are leaving the pack, because they believe that I will not be a good leader for them.
I pace from my father’s desk to the window that overlooks the Olive Pack lands. The land rolls down a hill dotted with blueberry shrubs that meet at a row of tall trees that lead into the forest that not long ago my father had led his last full moon run.
Oh Goddess…I breath out as the pain of his loss hits me.
He’s been gone for a month and I’m still not used to it.
I’m still not used to this…stepping into his shoes and fulfilling a role that I never dreamed I will have to take on not for a very long time at least. My father was healthy and strong…the strongest alpha I have ever seen.
I had hoped that…he would live for a long time while I figured myself out.
Maybe the wolves have it right to leave…because even I’m not sure I can do this…
“You can do this,” Mina says behind me as if she can read my mind.
I wipe at the tears that had trickled down my cheeks at the thought of my father before I turn to her.
“They are leaving, because of me. If I was an alpha, things would be different,” I say as the truth of my situation hits me. I’ve been avoiding this, but I know it’s true.
“That’s not…” Mina starts to argue, but I lift my hand up, because I’ve heard her arguments a million times. Ever since I realized that I didn’t exhibit any of the alpha traits that other members of my pack did.
I didn’t want to fight. I am as aggressive as an ant and I really don’t want to dominate anyone. My last year in school I had hoped that I will present my alpha traits because some werewolves developed late, but I’m still me.
Mina huffs at me. I can feel her disproval from where she’s standing.
She’s my friend, of course she would think I can do this.
“I’m an omega, Mina, no one will follow me,” I say cringing as my voice takes on a whinny tone that really irritates me. As if being a male omega wasn’t bad enough. I wrap my arms around my body feeling sorry for myself. Maybe if I was a beta, things would have been better. Betas have a higher rank than omegas in a pack. And my pack is no different. The only difference was that the alpha who leads has to be from the Olive family.
My father had one son, one son who will take over from him after he stepped down. But mother nature seemed to have its own plans.
I shake my head not wanting to think about this anymore.
“Did Cory find any sign of the rogue werewolves yet?” I ask Mina walking back to my desk. I sit down staring down at the spread sheets on my desk, instead of looking at her. Cory was looking into my father’s death.
He was tracking down the rogue werewolves, who’d attacked him. There hasn’t been any sign of them ever since the attack. But I had faith that Cory will find them. Cory is Mina’s brother. He was my father’s beta like his father before him.
“No, he hasn’t. But he’s told me what you two talked about,” Mina says moving closer to the desk. Her anger is so clear in her eyes. “Deni, you know you can’t convince him to be the leader. You know he’ll do anything for you, but he can’t do that for you. You’re going to drive him away if you keep asking him.”
“This pack needs an alpha and your brother is the next best thing,” I shoot to my feet. Goddess, why can’t she understand this.
“And what about the goddess’s demands that the only alpha to lead has to come from the Olive family. Are you going to ignore that?”
“Did my father have another son who is an alpha, because I don’t know about him,” I groan, because I’m getting tired of talking about this. “Mina, there won’t be a pack to lead, if I don’t do something. Everyone is leaving. There will be no one left.”
“You can’t turn your back on the goddess, you know this.”
I hang my head, because I know. Our pack prospers and thrives, because the moon goddess has blessed my family line.
“You know I’m right,” she says walking to the door. “Dinner will be served in ten minutes. Go and get cleaned up and come have dinner with the few members you have left.”
She leaves me alone.
I turn to the window.
Hopelessness wraps around me.
I’m going to be left all alone in this house when everyone leaves.
I should get used to it by now.
I turn away and make my way to my room. The pack house is eerily silent. The halls are empty as if no one has lived here.
I ignore the ache I can feel growing in my chest. I take the stairs that lead upstairs to my room. I walk down the hall. I come to a stop as I look at my father’s bedroom door. It is the main bedroom of the house.
I haven’t been in there in a month.
I know I should clean out his things and move in, but…I am not the alpha. Only an alpha can stay in that room.
I turn down another hallway to my bedroom.
I close my mind to everything around me, and focus on what I have to do tonight. I have to show everyone that’s left that I can be the leader they deserve.
Being an omega shouldn’t change the fact that I am my father’s son. I can’t help what I was born as, but I can strive to be a good leader.
I gave myself this pep talk all through my shower. Once I was done I searched my wardrobe for my best clothes, and put them on.
I looked at myself in the mirror, hoping that I look a little formidable. But I never could pull that off. Maybe it’s the curly mop of hair on my head, or my baby face that always made people think that I was younger than I already am, I don’t know. But I could never pull off that rough and tumble look my father did so well.
Plus, he was big. And in wolf form he was all black like the night…I shake my head knowing I pale in comparison to him. My inner wolf was more of a female size, all brown with a dusting of white on all four of my paws like am wearing socks.
I clench my jaw remembering the teasing jokes I had to endure in my teen days. To this day I hate the moon run.
And now that I’m the leader…I let that thought trail off, because I really don’t want to think about it.
At least the pack is small now.
Those who stayed really want to be here. And the people might have the sense not to tease me.
“Come on Deni, one day at a time,” I say to myself. I give myself one last glance in the mirror and then turn to the door.
I walk down the hall.
And I can already hear voices in the pack house.
They must have all come, I think as I make my way down the stairs. My ears twitch as I pick up their words here and there.
“It’s really hard to start on with a new pack. My parents are old. I’ll have to work twice as hard to be accepted. I saw no reason to leave.”
Deni came to a stop and listened to Michaelson speak.
He really sounded like he was being forced to stay, and if it was up to him he would have left long time ago.
“You’re telling me. My only skill set is picking berries. I have nothing to offer another pack if farming is not their livelihood. The goddess has truly blessed us here. No other pack can survive on farming alone like we have,” John says with a groan.
“Yeah, the harvest has been plentiful, before the alpha died.”
“What’s going to happen now? The goddess demands that an alpha lead. Deni is not an alpha.”
“I guess we are all doomed then,” Michaelson finished off.
Deni held his lips before a gasp escaped his mouth.
He turned and ran back to his room.
He sat on his bed feeling tears run down his face.
So much for dressing up, and looking strong for his people. Clothes couldn’t change what he was inside.
Oh goddess…what am I going to do?