Perfect girlfriend

Chapter fifteen - Dinner and secrets

Layla's POV:

Be yourself. That is something people tell me every day. The thing is that they don't know how hard it is for me. I'm trying to be a good person, but it's not easy. Not when people look at you and start joking about your weight. I'm not that sensitive, but sometimes it hurts me. They have no idea with what I have to deal. If they were in my place, the comments would've stopped. The thing is that no one cares about other's people feelings. I thought that adults would be more understanding and supportive, but no. The only people who accept me the way I am are my parents. That's why I share everything with them. They won't say anything about my weight. I wish that everyone was like that. I would be happy to have friends who like me. It's not like this is impossible, but it's hard. Nowadays, people are judgmental. I don't want to be around someone who always tells me to eat more and that I am ugly. I already know that. The problem is that I can't do anything about it. Honestly, it's hard for me to ignore people's comments. I'm trying not to pay attention, but most of the time, I fail. I don't know what to do to make them shut up. It feels like wherever I go, they will laugh at my face. At least my boyfriend supports me. Jayden is a great boy. He told me that his parents wanted to meet me. Well, mostly his mom. I know how important parents' opinion is for kids in this situation, and I'm afraid they won't like me. I am a good girl, but with a big problem. I was thinking of hiding it, but I don't know how to do it. Jayden said that they wanted me for dinner. My biggest fear. They will understand that there's something wrong with me. I can eat normally, but then I will need a bathroom. I hope that when the day comes, everything will go well.

Currently, I am in school. I have English, but my mind is somewhere else. Lately, this happens often. I have too many things in my head. One of them is my boyfriend. I want to make him proud of being with me, but keeping secrets from him is not helping. I still feel insecure about myself. Honestly, I don't think that he will judge me. That's what I said about many people. It turned out exactly the opposite. Now I don't trust anyone. Well, except for my parents and boyfriend.

After this class, I walked to my locker. I changed my books and checked my phone. There were no new messages. It's not like someone will text me. My contacts list is short. The new person who I added was Jayden. I have less than ten phone numbers. In my defense, I don't need more. There are a few people I will call if there is an emergency. I mean my parents. I know they are always on my side, and I'm thankful for that. I got lucky to have them. I was lost in my thoughts when I felt a hand over mine. It was Jayden.

- Hey, are you ok?

- Yes, I was thinking about something.

- I have a question.

- Ok, go on.

- Do you have plans for tonight?

- No, why? Do you want another date night?

- Yes, but not today. My parents or mostly mom told me to invite you for dinner.

- Tonight!?

- Yes. Can you come?

- I don't know. Isn't this too soon?

- You have no idea for how long she was asking me this. I kept telling mom that you would come when you felt ready.

- It's ok. I'm free tonight.

- Thank you. Mom will be happy.

- I hope so.

- Hey, you don't have to worry. I'm sure that my parents will like you.

- Let's say that I believe you.

- Relax. I think that you and mom can be besties.

- Why are you sure? I mean, I don't know her.

- Because she likes to take care of girls. According to the doctor, I was supposed to be a girl.

- What happened?

- When I was born, she saw that it was a boy. My parents were happy, but it was visible that mom wanted a girl.

- Why didn't she get pregnant again?

- To take care of a child is not easy. She didn't want me to feel betrayed because of a girl. Also, no one can guarantee that the next baby will be a girl.

- That's true too.

- Anyways, I'm glad that you will come. Do you want me to go and take you?

- Thanks, but I will be fine.

- If you want, we can spend the afternoon together.

- I have some work to do. I'll call you later.

- Ok, no problem.

- I'll go to class now. - I said and left

Now I am in panic mode. To hide my disease from Jayden was easy. I think that his parents will find out that there is something wrong with me. Let's say that parents have an eye for kids hiding things. I need to talk with mom. This time, I can search for dad. The problem is that he has a lot of meetings. I don't know if he will be in the office. I texted him to see if he had some free time today. The answer was no. Except if it wasn't something urgent. I told him that it wasn't. I guess that I will talk with mom.

After school, I took my backpack and walked to my mom's office. The security knows me, so now I can go whenever I want. It's not like I come here often. I knocked on the door and walked in. There was no one. Great. I will wait for her. Soon, someone walked it, but it wasn't mom. It was her boss.

- Hey, Layla. How are you?

- I'm fine, thanks.

- Do you know where your mom is?

- No. I came like a minute ago.

- Ok, tell her to look at these papers.

- Sure, no problem.

- Are you ok? You look nervous.

- I am.

- Can I help you with something?

- I don't think so.

- If you want, you can share it with me. After all, I have two daughters.

- My boyfriend's parents want to meet me, and I have dinner with them tonight. The thing is that I am nervous.

- Is it because of your condition?

- How do you know?

- Your mom has told me about it. Once, she was upset because you don't like yourself.

- It's true.

- If the boy likes you, he will accept you the way you are. Does he know about your condition?

- No, I haven't told him. I'm afraid that he will break up with me. No one wants a sick girlfriend.

- Layla, you aren't sick. You have a problem. Also, you look great. I think that he has luck with you.

- I don't know.

- Hey, Amara. Layla, what are you doing here?

- Hey, mom.

- Do you need something?

- No, It's better if I go.

- No, no. Tell me what the problem is.

- Your daughter needs more confidence. That is the problem.

- Did someone say something to you today?

- No, everything is fine.

- Ok, I will leave you. Can you check these papers? - Amara asked

- Yes, sure.

- Thank you. Layla, remember what I told you.

- I will.

- Bye, girls.

- Bye. - I said

- What happened?

- I have dinner with Jayden's parents tonight.

- That's great.

- No, it's not.

- Honey, you can't hide forever. One day you have to tell him the truth.

- But I don't want him to break up with me.

- He won't do it. I'm sure about that. Jayden is a great boy. He likes you the way you are.

- Because he doesn't know how I look.

- I think that you have to be honest with him.

- I will think about this. Thanks, mom.

- You're welcome. If you want, you can stay here until I go home.

- Thanks, but I want to get ready. Also, I have homework to do.

- Ok, you know better.

- I'll go now. Bye, mom.

- Bye, honey. See you at home.

When I walked home, it was already 4 pm. I have to finish my homework and start getting ready. Jayden didn't say when the dinner would be. I'll text him later to come and take me. I know that he wants to do it.

After an hour and a half, I finished my homework. I went to take a shower and get changed. Meanwhile, I sent a message to Jayden. He said that after ten minutes, he would go from his house. That means I have around forty minutes to get ready. I walked out of the shower and went to choose my clothes. Believe it or not, this is the hardest part for me. I decided to put on jeans, a crop top shirt, and a hoodie over it. The shirt will be in case I tell them everything tonight. I don't plan it, but who knows what will happen. Soon, Jayden came home.

- Hey, you look great.

- Thank you.

- Did you take everything that you needed?

- I think so.

- Good. Let's go now.

Both with Jayden walked out. I am still nervous. If I have to be honest, I don't want to do this. The thing is that I don't want to disappoint him. Also, his mom wants to see me. Soon, we arrived, and he let me in. I have to say that he has a beautiful house. He grabbed my hand, and we walked into the kitchen.

- Hi, mom. Today is your lucky day.

- You must be Layla. I'm so happy that you are here.

- Thanks. Nice to meet you, miss Harris.

- Come and sit. Dinner is ready.

- Hey, kiddo.

- Hi, dad.

- You must be the girlfriend.

- Yes. Um, hi. I'm Layla.

- I made a salad, Jayden's favorite steak with mashed potatoes, and a cake. - miss Harris said

- You need to come here more often. She doesn't cook for us that much. - Jayden said

- No problem. - I said

I want to try everything, so I have to eat less. That will be a struggle. I put a bit of the salad and started eating. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Jayden's mom.

- If you don't like it, I can make you something else.

- No, it's delicious. I'm saving space for the rest of the food.

- You better do it. The steak is delicious. - Jayden said

- For sure, it is.

I didn't want to offend miss Harris, so I ate all my plate with the main meal. I know I shouldn't do this, but I don't want her to think her food is something I don't like. She is an excellent cook. After less than ten minutes, my stomach started giving me signals.

- Excuse me, where is the bathroom?

- Down the hall. The first door. - miss Harris said

- Thank you.

I quickly walked there and threw up. Great. Now I won't try the cake. Sometimes, I hate my body. Who does it have to be like that? All I want is to be able to eat. I guess that this won't happen. I felt a couple of tears, but I quickly wiped them. I washed my face and went back to the table. There was a piece of cake in front of me. I want to eat it, but I can't. Otherwise, I have to go to the bathroom again. That is not something I want to happen.

- Layla, are you ok? You are not eating much. - miss Harris said

- Yes, I'm fine.

- Won't you try the cake?

- Maybe a bit later.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

That is killing me. I tried to act normal, but I failed. I don't know what to do anymore. There isn't any food in my stomach, and I can't eat more. I'm sure that Jayden's parents won't like me.

- Layla, what happened? You look upset. - Jayden said

- I have to tell you something.

- What is it?

- I hid this from you because I didn't know how to tell you.

- Is it something related to me?

- You will see.

I stood up and took off my hoodie. Through my crop top shirt, people can see my ribs. I feel horrible, but I can't hide anymore. I feel terrible, but I can't do anything.

- Won't you say something? For example, I look terrible.

- That is not true. Why didn't you tell me?

- Because I hate myself. Wherever I go dressed like this, people start making fun of me. They don't like the way I look. The whole school knows about that. I don't know how you didn't find out. No one likes me the way I am. As if it's my fault. I have a disorder. No matter what I eat, I keep losing weight. When I was thirteen, my mom noticed that I was getting skinnier. In the beginning, it wasn't that bad. For one-two month, I was losing a kilogram. The most I have been around fifty-eight. Now, I am less than forty-three. The number keeps going down. According to my doctor, I might become anorexic. I went to the bathroom because I had eaten more than usual. When I was seventeen, I noticed something. Whenever I eat more, my body makes me throw up. After that, I shouldn't eat for some time. So I have to eat less if I want to keep some food in my body. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I was afraid that you would leave. Nobody wants a sick girlfriend. Also, I didn't want people to make fun of you because of me. I'm so sorry. - I said, crying

Jayden didn't say anything and pulled me for a hug. How can he be with me after that? I don't understand. He deserves a better girlfriend. I mean, one is healthy and not sick.

- Hey, it's ok. As I have said, I like what's inside. I don't care if you are fat or skinny. There is nothing wrong with you.

- Do you think this?

- Yes, I do. I love your personality, not your body. Well, if you understand what I mean.

- Thank you.

- Can't something be done for you?

- There is one treatment. It's one month long and costs twenty-five thousand dollars.

- That's a lot.

- This is not the problem. My doctor said something. The chances of me getting better and getting worse are equal. Mom doesn't want to risk it. I tried to talk with her, but she will never change her mind.

- I understand her.

- Shopping for clothes is a struggle for me. It took me hours to find a dress that fitted me for the dances. Whenever I go to a*****e, people look at me weirdly. Once, I had to shop in a kids' store.

- I'm sorry that you had to go through this.

- That's why I started hiding. Mostly my body. I tried to ignore people's comments, but sometimes they hurt me. I'm not guilty that I look this way, but no one can understand that.

- I do. You should be yourself and show these people that you don't care.

- I can't. It's not that easy.

- But it's not impossible. - Jayden said and kissed me

- To understand that you won't break up with me.

- Why would I do that? I'm not insane. - he said, chuckling

- Thank you for everything.

- Hey, I'm on your side.

- I'm glad to hear that.

I spent the rest of the night with Jayden and his parents. They were kind to me. I thought they wouldn't like me, but luckily, I was wrong. I'm glad that they accepted me the way I am. Miss Harris offered to talk with my mom. Honestly, I would love that, but I know she won't change her mind. On the other side, they can be good friends. I'm so glad that the dinner ended well. I was afraid for nothing. Miss and mister Harris liked me. That was all I wanted. I hope that I don't need to hide anymore.