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It's enough I don't want to be hurt anymore. If I'm on honey maybe I'll be hurt again to see my husband with another woman. If I'm released, maybe I'll also be hurt because I'm separated from the people I love for these 7 years.
But I can't be selfish either. I have to get away from adi. So that Adi can start a new life with a woman who can give him children and start a new happiness.
Maybe at least if Adi is happy with his new family, I too can start my new life peacefully.
I wiped my tears and approached Adi who was sitting leaning on the sofa in the living room looking up at the ceiling of the living room.
"mas adi" I approached him who seemed like adi was thinking hard. Adi turned to me with a smile. A forced smile.
"Mom's home" I asked her
"already" he replied
"Well, take a shower first, I'll talk later," I said to him
"Yes" Adi replied as he walked up to where our room was
I prepared Adi's clothes on the bed after 10 minutes Adi came out of the bathroom. He looked fresher, slightly damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. Adi immediately put on the clothes I had prepared.
"Have you eaten?" I asked him
"not yet" he replied
"Yes, I have eaten first" Adi nodded and we went downstairs to have dinner together. The food I prepared before my mother-in-law came. We ate quietly, occasionally accompanied by small talk.
After finishing eating I cleared the dining table and washed the dishes I and Adi ate.
Adi is still waiting for me at the dining table chair looking at me with pity. Maybe Adi doesn't want me to get hurt and he can't refuse mother's request either.
After we finished, we went back to our room and sat on the sofa while watching tv, thinking somewhere because we just sat in silence.
"Mas" I opened my voice first to warm the silence that was getting uncomfortable.
"hm" he mumbled as he looked at me with a smile that looks stiff.
"Shouldn't we just separate, mas. Poor mother, I want grandchildren from you" I said to him looking Adi justifying his seat facing me.
"But Mas loves you. Mas, I don't want another woman, we can try, we can see a doctor again," he said with reddened eyes. Oh my gosh, my husband is so whiny when it's time to say goodbye.
"Mas, don't be selfish, poor mother, I want mother to be happy. She has given birth to you, raised you, educated you, to this extent when you don't want to obey one mother's request" I said looking into her eyes. Netra we meet. Adi's eyes that were already red and dewy finally dripped as well. I really want to cry seeing her cry like that. makes my chest tight, but I try to hold back my tears so they don't fall, so that I look strong in Adi's eyes.
"But I love you I will not be happy if you are not my wife, I do not want to part with you La" he said as he gripped my hand tightly.
"I also don't want to part with you Adi. I love you too. But if I stay with you I will be more hurt to see in your life there is another woman. I also don't want you to prioritize me over your mother. After your god, your parents, then I am your third priority, so if your mother wants something from you, then what can I do as your wife. You are not me, who prioritizes you, after God is in my heart
"Why not try, if we are matched maybe someday we will be reunited, but if we are not matched maybe until now our soul mate. Don't ever think about having two wives because I don't want to be on a honeymoon. Tomorrow I will return to Bandung to my father's house and we will meet in court," I said. Adi was about to talk but I raised my one hand and went to bed.
I lay my body on the bed and covered myself crying silently.
...
Survive hurt
Separate tightness in the chest
Is this what it feels like to fall in love
- Writer
