CHERRY BLOSSOM

TWIST OF FATE

About a year ago,i finally decided to leave my husband Frank. I was married at the age of 22. I grew up in Canada , my sister and I had an adjusted life with a nice and warm upbringing. We never liked fights and arguments. I'm very straightforward and have always believed you can solve anything through peaceful dialogue, that violence wasn't the answer. I never thought I could become a victim of physical and emotional a***e.

I met Frank during Summer break 2007. I was 19 ,a college girl trying to get her grades up for a change. A former renounced party animal. I'd gone on a fraternity party with my friends and Frank happened to be there. He was very funny and strikingly handsome but I wasn't instantly attracted to him at first. That's why I was amazed when he called me the next day asking if I wanted to go on a date. I admit I was flattered and thought, 'why not?' So I said yes and met him for a drink at a bar.

The date was a complete disaster. He was very nervous and barely spoke. I was happy when I got home later in the evening and thoughts filled my head. My roommate Megan convinced me to give him a second chance when he wanted to see me again. I can't explain why I agreed , I just did. I guess I was intrigued.

On the second date,we went out for lunch and I was shocked - Frank wasn't paralysed with nerves and we really got on really well. He had such sense of humor and we had so much in common. We were both ambitious and loved adventures, we were also focused on achieving our dreams - frank wanted to become an IT consultant to the largest firm in the states. I know,it sounded stupid the first time I heard it.

Frank was a romantic, he would surprise me now and again with poems that melted my heart when I least expected it. We'd always make up time for date night during weekends and saw each other when we could.

Two years later, after I graduated. I started my own corporate firm SRT. Frank seemed so proud of my success and how far I'd gotten in a few months. We decided to take our relationship to the next level and move in together. It was New year's Eve 2010 , we drove to Frank's family's lake house in Frankford, passing beautiful landmarks, trees and hills for half an hour. On reaching there , Frank put his hands over my eyes as we walked up to the house,leading my every step.

"Are we there yet?," I said gently.

"Just one more step,my love," he replied.

"Ok...Enough with the games already!," said I, accompanied with a chuckle.

Frank stopped and removed his hands around my eyes,and sighed.

"As you wish."

I gasped in surprise when I saw that the front porch had been decorated with pink tulle and cream violet roses , and large graphic letters written on white forms 'M - A - R- R- Y M- E. '

I covered my mouth with both hands in awe, seeing what he had done.

"How did you - "

Frank smiled excitedly,visibly nervous about what he's about to do. He went down on one knee and pulled out a small , navy blue velvet box and opened it to reveal a very large diamond engagement ring. I gaped in shock at the sight of the ring when Frank proposed -

"Marry me. Lucia Monroe. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, endlessly. And forever."

I was lost for words, before giggling happily.

"Yes. Yes,of course!"

I felt so happy my eyes filled with tears. I remember Frank taking my left hand so he could place the ring on my finger. I admired the ring for a brief moment before looking up at Frank. And I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him passionately. We both clung to each other. Frank quickly grabbed me by my knees and lifted me high up in the air inducing a playful shriek. As he walked into the house with me on his broad shoulders to celebrate.

We decided to set the date for four months later and one full month honeymoon in Paris. The wedding took place in a church, just outside Canada. I wore a white , long dress - it was my mom's. There were about 120 friends and family at our reception. My Dad walked me to the aisle as everyone turned to watch us meet Frank and the bridesmaids and groomsmen at the altar.

Once everyone was in position, the Reverend began the homily. Frank was stunned speechless by the sight of me in my wedding dress. He looked up to me and,mouthed, "I love you." I sighed, catching my breath and mouthed back, "I love you ,too," tears rolling down my cheeks. We faced each other, it was a wedding fantasy come to life. All eyes were on us, a man and a woman about to be joined together for life.

Paul gave such a moving speech during the wedding ceremony.

"I never thought I could love someone so deeply. When you walked into my cubicle, you changed me completely in ways I never knew possible. You have made me the happiest man on the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to be with you, and love you and respect you, as your husband for the rest of my days." He grabbed the ring from the best man and placed it on my finger as I began to cry. I felt so proud.

"Wow. That's a tough act to follow. Here it goes," I said happily, as I stood at the altar saying my vows. " Frank Vossler... You are my every dream come true,and I can't wait for the reality we get to build together. Wherever we go,we'll go together. Always and forever. "

Frank lifted my veil, and he kissed me for a long moment as everyone clapped and cheered.

It was midnight and the gardens by the church was transformed into a reception site. Fireworks pop, pop, pop, overhead us as the music band was playing. Frank and i had our first dance while circled by the wedding party and i could recall us not being able to keep our hands off each other.

After the ceremony, Frank and I went straight for our car, friends waved at us , clapping and throwing streamers as we walked past them, arm in arm. I felt so wonderfully happy. My dad and mom hugged me briefly and I was feeling really giggly. And we drove back to our hotel as a couple ready to start a new life.

Our honeymoon started out benign at first. We did everything and went everywhere together like normal newly - weds. Then, as time goes on, i started witnessing flashes of Frank's temper. He would lash out at me on several occasions and make me feel bad about myself. But I did confront him, but he later apologized. The sudden changes were so confusing, I could never tell what was coming next. A minute later he would tell me he loved me. I never told anyone what was happening. Gradually, I started losing touch with reality and couldn't think clearly anymore.

We returned home from our honeymoon and settled back into our lives again. We both worked really hard, but the physical violence followed. On that fateful night as i walked into the kitchen with groceries. I remember us having an argument just before dinner. Frank agreed that while i cook dinner, he would order pizza. He winked at me with those dark beautiful eyes and takes off into the bathroom to go take a shower. I smiled back as I watched him go. Then,I heard a BUZZ from his phone which he left on the coffee table.

"Frank, your phone..."

But Frank's far away. He doesn't hear. There's a PING and a text pops up. So i check the screen to see a text "I'VE MISSED YOU. MEET ME AT OUR USUAL 10:00. " Shell shocked, as I felt my whole world caving in..the phone slipped out from my hand and fell down to the floor. That was when Frank rushed out of the bathroom in a towel. I paused as I heard him enter the kitchen.

And I picked up the phone from the floor and showed it to him.

"Who's this?"

"Lucia, I can explain. It's not what you think." He said calmly.

"Tell me Frank,what am I thinking?, " I replied,standing inches away from his face. "You know what ? Don't bother... I wouldn't believe a word you say. I guess am just attracted to the wrong kind of person."

I head out the door as Frank follows me out. I could hear his pounding footsteps behind me. Then he pushed me over and whacked me around the side of my head. Frank went mad. He started calling me names,saying I was out of my mind. I felt so frightened, I just froze inside and couldn't even speak. He wouldn't back down and said that I was stupid for thinking such. I ran out, crying bitterly..

Outside the house, i walked briskly while frank tries to catch up with me. And I heard him saying...

"Lucia,get back here! Let's talk about this!"

I walked faster and I thought,'this is it'. Frank tries to grab my hand as I pulled away and continued to walk. I walked to a corner to catch a cab. The car pulls up as Frank pushes past me and closes the door,telling the driver to take off. Not backing down,I tried to catch another one.

"About what?," I retorted,carefully taking a few steps backwards. "You being a vile cheater. The fact that I loved you with all my heart and you go around having an affair behind my back. Who does that?! I trusted you..."

"All of this isn't my fault,you know? You're the one who's always putting everyone else first before our marriage,"said Frank sarcastically.

The words stung me. Only because it was true...a dagger in my heart. Enraged,i shoved Frank in the chest repeatedly, over and over again as he crosses his arms and looks off for a beat.

"How dare you!," I shouted at him." My fault?! You don't get to play that card with me. The next time you think the worst if me,imagine what I think about you now."

I walked away as I heard his voice echo through the street ,over the buildings, across the rooftops and into the night...

"Lucia! Lucia....!"

That's when I told my best friend who happened to be my roommate in college, Megan ,what was going on. I turned up on her doorstep and told her everything. She was horrified and hadn't suspected a thing. I didn't have any cuts or evidence, except the odd small bruise, and I was glad about that - I didn't want anybody to find out how miserable I was about the situation. I felt so stupid and humiliated to go to the police. I stayed with her and told Paul I wasn't coming back.

The next day, at about three in the afternoon, Megan talked me into confiding in a marriage therapist, Dr Michael Kassidy, a handsome dark haired young man of thirty years, British,that grins and kisses me hello. I felt instantly at ease. We sat in his office talking for hours.

"No woman should be in a place where she's frightened for her safety. That's having control of your own life taken away from you by somebody who's supposed to love you," Michael talks calmly about the subject but with the passion and understanding only someone with first hand experience could feel.

After a moment, I gathered my reserves and turned to him with a smile that was at once genuine and poignant. "This is nice of you. Thank you."

Honestly, we got on really well, his manner was friendly and he started calling me afterwards. I couldn't believe it , that someone could really love me for who I was. Frank had always made degrading comments about how I looked when I was getting ready for work and he didn't like a shirt I wore, he'd tell me I looked awful. Michael cancelled his 'work commitments' because of our second and third date. He was so smart, funny, caring and loving. And in that moment, I felt myself drawn to another man.

After a long night of hot romantic s*x,I grunted as I woke up next to the most handsome on earth. His smile was enough to give you a one night stand to remember. He gazed at me with those cool tempered innocent blue eyes. His abs brushed against my boobs. This was Michael Kassidy's bedroom. His feet hanging off the bottom of the bed,sleeping soundly with his head practically buried under the pillow. We were underneath the bedsheets in his room. The sun had been coming up but I wasn't sure of that either.

As I slipped out,far away from his touch. And his voice whispered. "Going somewhere?"

"I have to get back or my husband frank will be suspicious," said I.

He managed to sit up and stared at me intensely.

"Stay a little bit longer. I know what you want."

"What?"

Michael then walks over to me and kisses me gently on the lips. It was exhilarating. I couldn't move. I just smiled back at him.

"We've talked about this." I added.

Moving away slightly.

"You said it yourself... You were kids when you met."

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Come with me," Michael stated firmly.

"I can't."

"I want you to say it," Michael insisted.

"Say what?"

"I want to hear you say it."

After a few moment of hesitation, knowing what he meant.. I finally fessed up.

"I still love him."

Michael was disappointed, gave me a look then started for the door. But at the last second, turns around to look at me directly in the eyes.

"When I was young, my dad would scream the most awful things to my mum and knocked her around when he needed to."

"What happened to her?,"I asked archly.

"She died, leaving my brother and I behind." Michael said.

"I am so sorry. I had no idea."

"I know." Michael rushed in. "All I'm saying is,don't wait too long to do the right thing. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy."

Michael went downstairs and left me alone in the room. What he said gave me the spur to get back on my feet.

The first time I came back to Frank in two months to sit him down and talk to him about our marriage. He just made it all seem crystal clear it was completely my fault - the thing is, after a while, I believed him. I started thinking about divorce. And I later found out out I was pregnant for Michael Kassidy at the end of 2011. I couldn't bring myself to tell Frank the truth. Naively, I thought by telling him the pregnancy was his, he would improve our relationship. I was ecstatic and thought Frank would now have to change. He didn't. I should have realised it wouldn't happen at all ,but my self - confidence was low, i still prepared to continue the relationship. Frank pushed me over and forced me to carry on doing everything with no rest at all. By now I was living between hope and despair. If someone else had told me they were living a life like mine, i'd have said 'leave'. But I truly believed,despite Frank's abusive behavior, we could work it out,I was still in love with the man I first met.

Two years after the birth of our son, I was completely drained. And I decided to give up work. I sold the SRT company to stay at home and we agreed on selling our house and move from Montreal to Quebec city.

Then, one night, while coming back home in the middle of the night, I accidentally locked the keys of our car in the boot. Frank was furious. He was yelling at me, calling me stupid. He made me stand outside in the cold for three hours until a locksmith came at 11am, while he returned to the house.

I felt so frightened, I obeyed him - I can't explain why. When I went upstairs to check on my two year old son Richard, who stood up in his bed and said, "Mummy, why's daddy calling you stupid?"

I was terrified. I just looked at him and thought, "Oh God,what have I done to you?"

I went downstairs and heard him running down the hallway behind me. That's was when he pushed me over and hit me around the side of my head. It was the first time ever he'd used his fist and it really hurt.

After that,however, he went upstairs which was very unusual - usually he would chase me around the house for hours - and then I suddenly realized it was time to leave.

It was 2am and I drove all the way to my sister's house in Hamilton. I wasn't scared about leaving Richard behind. I knew Frank would never lay a hand on him. I talked to my sister all night and I felt relieved afterwards.

The next day I spoke to Frank over the phone and said,"I'm coming back to be with our son,but if you don't leave as soon as I arrive,I will come back with my brother in law to get him."

So I went back alone to be with my son. I stayed and he left. It took him weeks to realize it was really over between us,but there was no turning back.