MATED TO MYSELF-The Alpha I Hated Is Me

5: Avoiding Him

CHAPTER 5

Lyra's POV

I woke up with the sunrise streaming through the window, my body stiff from barely sleeping after Nathan's strange midnight appearance. I had spent hours lying in the dark trying to make sense of why he had been standing in my doorway like that, staring at me with that look of raw hunger and pain on his face.

Now, in the morning light, I was more confused than ever. And angry, I deserved answers about what the hell that was about.

I threw off the covers and got dressed quickly, pulling on jeans and a simple t-shirt, my hands were shaking slightly as I brushed my hair, whether from nerves or anger I couldn't tell, or maybe probably both.

"Are you really going to confront him?" Ivy asked, sounding almost impressed. "Finally growing a backbone?"

"Shut up," I muttered, but I didn't close off our connection. She was right. I needed to stop being a coward and demand answers.

I marched out of my room and down the hallway to Nathan's bedroom. My heart was pounding but I refused to let fear stop me this time. I raised my fist and knocked hard on his door. Three sharp raps that echoed through the quiet house.

No answer.

I knocked again, harder this time. "Nathan, I know you're in there."

Still nothing, was he seriously going to ignore me? After what he did last night, he was just going to pretend I didn't exist?

I was about to knock a third time when the door swung open suddenly.

Nathan stood there in sweatpants and nothing else, his dark hair messy like he had just woken up.

My eyes dropped to his bare chest before I could stop myself, taking in the defined muscles and smooth skin that I had touched two nights ago.

I forced my gaze back up to his face, feeling heat creep up my neck.

"What?" Nathan asked flatly, his voice rough with sleep.

"Why were you in my room last night?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest. "You were standing there watching me sleep, what was that about?"

Nathan's expression didn't change at all, he leaned against the doorframe and looked at me like I had asked him the most boring question in the world. "You were having a nightmare."

I blinked at him. "What?"

"You were screaming," he said, his tone matter of fact. "I heard you from my room. I came to check and make sure you were okay. That's all."

"I wasn't having a nightmare," I said slowly, my eyebrows pulling together. "I don't remember screaming or having any bad dreams."

Nathan shrugged like my confusion didn't concern him at all. "Well, you were. Maybe you don't remember because you were still asleep. Either way, I checked on you and then I left. End of story."

Something about this explanation felt wrong. I had woken up and seen him standing there, but I hadn't been in the middle of a nightmare. I had been sleeping peacefully until something had pulled me awake. And if I had been screaming, wouldn't I have woken myself up?

"You're lying," I said, watching his face carefully for any reaction.

"Believe whatever you want," Nathan replied, already starting to close the door. "But that's what happened."

"Nathan, wait—"

The door shut in my face with a decisive click.

I stood there staring at the closed door, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. He was lying. I knew he was lying. But why? What was he hiding?

"He's full of it," Ivy agreed in my head. "But what are you going to do about it? Break down his door?"

I turned and walked back to my room, frustration making my movements jerky and aggressive. This was going to be a long three months if Nathan was going to gaslight me about everything.

The rest of the morning passed in uncomfortable silence. I could hear Nathan moving around downstairs, and I stayed in my room to avoid running into him.

My stomach growled but I ignored it. I wasn't hungry enough yet to risk another confrontation.

Around noon, I heard Nathan's footsteps on the stairs. I tensed, waiting to see if he would walk past my room or stop.

The footsteps paused right outside my door and I held my breath.

Then they continued on, fading down the hallway.

I let out the breath I had been holding and felt ridiculous for being so on edge.

I needed to talk to someone before I went insane.

I grabbed my phone and pulled up Catherine's number, hitting the call before I could second guess myself.

She answered on the third ring. "Lyra! Oh my god, I thought you were supposed to be in Canada by now?"

"Change of plans," I said, sitting cross legged on the bed. "Marcus ended up going instead, it was a long story."

"Wait, what? Why?" Catherine asked, and I could hear the confusion in her voice.

"He got some work opportunities there," I explained, not wanting to get into all the details. "So now I'm stuck here in london for the next three months."

"Stuck where exactly?" Cat pressed.

I hesitated. I didn't want to tell her I was staying at Nathan's house. She would ask too many questions that I didn't want to answer. "Just staying at a friend's place while Marcus is gone."

"A friend?" Cat's tone turned suspicious immediately. "What friend? Why not just stay at your own house?"

"Marcus thought it would be better if I wasn't alone," I said quickly. "You know how protective he is."

That seemed to satisfy her because she moved on. "Well, at least you're still in the city. We should meet up this week! I miss you."

"Yeah, definitely," I agreed, even though the thought of leaving Nathan's house and risking him noticing I was gone made me anxious. Which was ridiculous. He had literally told me to stay out of his way. He shouldn't care if I left.

"Hey, speaking of London," Cat said, her voice dropping to a more gossipy tone. "Have you seen Nathan around lately?"

My whole body went rigid at his name. "Nathan? Why are you asking about him?"

"He's been acting really weird at the pack gatherings," Cat explained. "Like, weirder than usual, he was more aggressive, and more volatile. Last week he almost got into a fight with Derek over something completely stupid."

Nathan had been acting strange at pack events? I tried to remember the last time I had gone to a gathering.

It had been weeks ago, maybe longer. I usually avoided them because I knew Nathan would be there.

"Weird how?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"I don't know, just off," Cat said. "Like he's on edge all the time. And you know how he normally is at these things, all cold and controlled. But lately he's been snapping at people, getting into confrontations. Some of the pack members are starting to talk about it."

I chewed on my bottom lip, processing this information. Nathan had seemed pretty controlled when I had seen him. Cold and distant, yes, but not volatile or aggressive.

"Maybe he's just stressed about something," I suggested.

"Maybe," Cat agreed, but she didn't sound convinced. "Or maybe he's finally losing it from being wolfless for so long. That has to mess with your head, you know?"

Oh yeah.. Nathan is wolfless, he's an Alpha with no wolf which makes him more colder to people.

The conversation shifted to other topics after that, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Cat had said. Nathan acting more aggressive, more volatile. Was that true? And if it was, what did it mean?

"Kael?" I called out in my mind after I hung up with Cat. "Are you there?"

There was a pause, longer than usual, before his presence flickered in my mind. "I'm here, Ara."

"You've been quiet today," I said, relieved to feel him there. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Kael replied, but something about his tone felt off. It was still his voice, still that familiar warmth, but there was something underneath it that I couldn't quite identify.

"Are you sure?" I pressed. "You sound different."

"I'm just tired," Kael said, and I could almost hear a hint of irritation in his voice, which was strange because Kael was never irritated with me. That was Ivy's job.

"Okay," I said slowly, not entirely convinced but not wanting to push it. "If you say so."

His presence faded back to its usual background hum, but the uneasy feeling in my stomach remained.

Weird things have been happening since I came into this house. I wanted to think about it longer but I took my mind off it.

The afternoon dragged by. I tried to read a book but couldn't focus on the words. I tried to watch something on my phone but nothing held my attention.

All I could think about was Nathan somewhere else in this house, and the strange tension that seemed to follow us everywhere.

Around five in the evening, my phone rang. Marcus's name appeared on the screen with a video call request.

My heart jumped into my throat. Marcus wanted to video call, which meant I would probably have to go downstairs where he could see me, where Nathan might walk into frame.

I answered the call, holding the phone close to my face. "Hey Marcus."

"Hey Lyra," Marcus smiled at me from the screen. He looked tired but happy. "How's everything going? Are you settling in okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine," I lied, forcing a smile. "How's Canada and mum and dad?"

"Cold," Marcus laughed. " And Mum and Dad are good..and the job is going great so far, I think this was the right move."

We talked for a few more minutes about his flight and our parents.

The whole time my stomach was twisting with anxiety because I knew what was coming next.

"Is Nathan around?"