Break the Distance

Chapter 19

Wednesday 31st of August, 2016

Wellington, New Zealand

Richelle Smith

I smile at my phone. I'm so doomed. I'm falling in love with him more every second. I read back the conversation we had yesterday.

Well thanks for everything. I don't hear often that people like to talk to me

Your friends really should be a little nicer sometimes

I don't exactly have that many friends

Why not? You seem like a really nice person

I'm 'poor'

No you don't have as much money as others

Exactly why I don't have friends

Never change for other people

Yes sir

Haha

I've to go, forgot the time maybe a little

What time is it?

2 am

Whoops

Exactly

Good night then

You too

Thanks

To be honest it is very different from what I ever thought it would be. I never even dreamed of how perfect it all is. He just answers so normal like I'm just an equal person. Well, of course I am, but it's not how this world works.

I thought that if it would never be possible to date him, then I also didn't want to have any contact with him, but those conversations are really what get me through the day. I have to keep a little faith in hard times.

"Hi," Dan says when he approaches me Monday in the hallway in school. "Hi," I say nervous looking up from my phone and around, the hallway is luckily completely empty. "Me and my friends have some projects we've to do," he says. "How many?" I ask. "6 projects, 10 bucks each," he almost whispers.

"Deal," I say without hesitating. "Good," Dan says and he smirks evil. "The due date is in a few weeks or so, so take your time." "I will," I say. "Send you the details," Dan says before he leaves just as suddenly as he approached me. I'm really glad he didn't bring up something from this Saturday, that was literally the worst day of my life!

I continue walking to the library since I've a few gap hours I decided to do some studying in the library. I can really use the time. Walking into the library I notice instantly that it's even more quiet than normal. Just a couple people studying in silence. I sit down at my usual table somewhere in the corner in the back of the library. I grab my stuff out and start waiting for my laptop to startup. In the meanwhile my thoughts drift away to this morning.

Last night I had one of those awesome nightmares again. In my dream Noah and I were texting and he was being super sweet so I told him about my family. Everything all of the sudden switched and he started swear at me telling me I should just walk to hell and I should never message him ever again. I woke up bathed in sweat and wasn't able to fall asleep again.

I seriously want to know where this nightmares are coming from. He's literally the sweetest person alive. Even if I would irritate him, he would never swear at anybody.

I cried and cried until I realized something. It was just a dream and it shouldn't affect me that much. I plugged in my earphones and listened to music until I calmed down. Then I messaged Noah, kind of afraid if he would react or not, but luckily he reacted. All my doubts, all my insecurities disappeared like snow in the sun. It was the best feeling ever.

Even though I knew I have been crushing on him for a while now and it still feels like a dream that he actually reacts on my messages, it's much different from what I thought it would be like. The feeling I get even when he would just send a random letter is indescribable. A feeling that bubbles inside, making me smile, giving me energy, giving me hope. His words through some stupid technology are able to calm me more down than arms of someone else around me ever could. It's a feeling I've never had before, but it's the best ever.

I hear a 'ping' from my laptop asking me for my password which brings me back to reality.

I start working on my history project. Or, at least that's what I'm trying to do, but Noah keeps distracting me. Well, not actually Noah, my mind keeps going over to Noah. I literally can't concentrate me on something else and to be honest it's very frustrating me.

Normally I can focus on school easily whatever is going on. Even if I'm in a noisy classroom with yelling people, I can normally still concentrate easily.

The stupid part is that I'm also worrying about literally nothing. I keep asking if he would ever like me, but of course he wouldn't. I really should stop fantasying about what ever would happened if we would be together because it just isn't going to happen.

Come on, who wouldn't fall in love with him. His looks, his eyes, his muscled body and of course his beautiful soul and personality, everything about him is just perfect.

I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I don't notice Katie joining the table until she throws a pen at me. "What was that good for?" I ask her. "You were lost," she says and chuckles, "I promise I tried calling your name like a million times."

I sigh and roll my eyes, why does this keep happening? "Where were you with your thoughts?" Katie asks me. "Hmm I have literally no idea," I say sarcastic. Thankfully Katie gets the hint that I'm pretty annoyed by it myself, and nods understanding. "You have to get over him," she states, "it will never happen."

I hesitate if I should tell her about the messages, but decide to not tell. That part I want to keep to myself a little longer. That's something between Noah an me.

"Maybe you should stop following him on every possible social media," Katie suggests. My eyes widen. No way, never. "Just for a while," Katie says, "just until you're over him." I shake my head. "No," I state, "never."

"Then find someone else to like," she says, "like Dan." She winks. "I don't like him!" I say loud. "SSH," the library woman says irritated and my cheeks flush red. "Sorry," I whisper yell and hide embarrassed behind my laptop. Katie laughs slightly. "Not funny," I whisper angry.

"So why were you talking to him again this morning in the hallway?" Katie asks and she grins. How does she know?! "How do you know?" I ask and feel my cheeks get even more red.

"You know Sofia right?" Katie asks, "well I was sitting next to Jamie in geography class, and she said in front of Sofia the class before and Sofia was telling Anna about it because certainly Sofia's boyfriend Nick has a best friend who saw you talk to Dan in the hallway. According to your reaction it's true and I'm sure you secretly do like him and he likes you."

I roll my eyes, this is exactly why I rather discuss stuff with Dan over texting. News travels fast in this school, too fast. Kind of funny though, I literally have only Katie as friend, but still a lot of people seem to know my name. I don't know if that's because I know Dan and Dan is kind of popular, or because ... I can't think of another reason right now.

Maybe it also helps that I'm getting straight A's. Thinking about it, I feel kind of blessed. For some stupid unknown reason nerds without friends always get bullied and I'm ... Well I'm pretty close to being a nerd without friends, but I've never been bullied.

Shouldn't be such a surprise I think. Bullying is like the most pathetic thing to do.