Break the Distance

Chapter 55

Friday 21st of October, 2016

Wellington, New Zealand

Richelle Smith

I've been back for a week, but it feels like I've been back for months. This was hands down the worst week ever. Throughout the whole week my body hurt so much, and it just decided to hurt more and more, but I had to go to school. I have to get A's for my exams.

Not that it's a good idea to go to school. I had some little tests this week and I messed them all up. My head hurts from the pain in my ribs and I get annoyed so quickly. Freshmen keep looking at me and that's stressing me out too. I really need some positive energy right now, but I don't know where to find it.

I went to bed straight away every day, expect for Wednesday of course, and only came down for diner. That's another thing, I haven't seen my dad the whole week. I came down to eat when he wasn't home yet, and when I woke up in the morning he was already gone. Even though I slept so much, I was still tired throughout the day. I used more energy than I received from sleeping so right now I'm demolished. I can't take a single step anymore.

The difference is, is that I can't sleep. I've been trying to fall asleep since I came home, but even though I'm tired I just don't fall asleep.

I look around in my room. What could I do to kill the time? Suddenly my eyes stop at my phone, or Noah ' phone. Should I look at it again? I haven't touched it in too long and I'm scared looking at it will upset me.

After doubting for a while I stand up. I'm just going to do it. I haven't touched it in so long, that there's literally a little layer of dust on it. I turn my phone on and fright.

What the hell happened? Has this something to do with the freshmen staring at me? Or vice versa.

I have thousands of i********: notifications, a lot of miss calls from Noah and a lot of messages from Noah and Katie. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just shocked. I thought I knew what happened those last weeks, but I guess I was wrong.

Looking at the dates does make me upset. The last calls and messages I got from Noah are from weeks ago when he was still in Canada. I've a lot of missed calls from the first day I didn't react, a little less from the day after, and again a little less from the day after that day. He tried, but I ignored him.

I feel bad. I made a mistake and I start to highly regret. Right now I would do anything to talk to him. I sigh and realize that I'm hopeless right now. It won't matter what I do, he probably thinks our friendship is over.

I go to i********: to see what happened there. I gained thousands of followers. All my posts are full comments discussing if I'm the Richelle. Honestly I thought things couldn't get weirder, but they did. When all the freshmen stared at me I thought that things couldn't get worse, but they did get worse.

I want everyone to shut up, to not know about my existence. The unknown girl I was, that's who I want to be, but I'm not anymore.

Scrolling through the comments under my latest post I let my head fell in my hands.

Claracow: OMG is this the Richelle?!

Jakejake: I'm pretty sure we found Richelle

Harrietjas: Are you Noah ' girlfriend

Claracow: Can you follow me?

Tns_fantastic_fan:#whois Richelle

Ciarasmith: @r_rudolphs we found her

Brittstone: THIS IS THE RICHELLE SHE GOES TO MY SCHOOL

r_rudolps: Wait this is the Richelle? I live close to her @ciarasmith

ciarasmith: @r_rudoplps serious? Cool!'

D_anna: It's all just a prank

Saratoms04: Are you the Richelle

Richelles_first_fan: please see my recent @Richellesmith

Indi_tns: WHERE DOES SHE LIVE?? @ciarasmith

Annabanana: Please follow me

Ingridhill: How does Noah know you??

Ingridhill: Please answer

Josemccarry: Please see my recent Annabanana: @ Richellesmith

Sofia_KL: You sure this is real? @kimpeters

Josemccarry: @ Richellesmith

Kimpeters: Who else can it be? @sofia_KL

Josemccarry: @ Richellesmith

Sara2002: There don't live any other Richelle's in Wellington @sofie_KL @kimpeters @D_anna

Josemccarry: @ Richellesmith

Josemccarry: @ Richellesmith

Hannah_: @Diana_tm OMG

For once in my life I feel literally stalked. I feel like overnight the whole internet figured out who I was. Okay, I know it was spread out over a few weeks, but for me it feels like overnight. Does Noah know about this? Did he knew the consequences when he made that comment at the show in Auckland? I search on the hashtag I saw a few times in my comments, #whoisRichelle. I can't believe what I see. Thousands of posts of me. Random pictures who know where found, pictures of my at school clearly taken somewhere last week.

I'm close to bursting into tears. If I knew this would happened, I would've never messaged Noah.

But I did message Noah, and I should try message him again. I close i********: and go to What'sApp. The least I can do is try.

'Hi Noah,' I type, 'we haven't talked in a while!' I don't come any further than that. I delete the text and type something new. 'Hi, how are you doing.' It says this time. I delete it too.

Nope, this won't work. Maybe I should go back to old methods.

'Do you think of me when you look at the sea?' I type and press send without doubting.

Quotes worked in the past, hopefully they work again.

I sigh slightly. Nervous is softly said. I really want him to see it and react, but I know he probably won't. In the end I haven't reacted all the times he messaged or called me. I'm so nervous that my body feels shaky. To distract myself I text Katie.

'Hii, I think I'm using my phone again,' I send her. I almost instantly get a reaction. 'Great! Have you already thought about my plan?' she sends. 'Not yet,' I send, 'give me a few more days.'

'Okay,' she sends, 'make sure you make the right decision.' Haha, that's funny. How do I ever know what the right decision is. Making decision isn't easy people?! Why does nobody see that?