Break the Distance

Chapter 12

Sunday 21st of August, 2016

Toronto, Canada

Noah Williams

I listen to the song again, one of the best I heard in a while. Yea I like pop music, but when I'm alone I like to listen to slower songs, it calms me down. For some unknown reason I check multiple times if Richelle has replied, but unfortunately she hasn't.

She's not like all the other fans I've ever met. I bet they would react within 2 seconds if I would send a text to someone no matter what time of the day, but she doesn't.

I laugh at myself, what am I thinking? What am I even doing? You know what, I know what I'm going to do. I grab my laptop and start searching. 'What should I do with my life,' I type into google and laugh as I see the 223 million results. I click on one of the links, '7 strange questions that help you find your life purpose' well that should be interesting.

'1. What's your favorite flavor of s**t sandwich and does it come with an olive?' I mumble as I read it. "What," I say displeased out loud, "how's this supposed to help me?!" I go back and click on another link. 'You should start a commercial production company,' I read on the page that popped up. No way, never. 'You should be a music blogger,' I read when I click on the next one. Nope, no I'm not going to do that for living, maybe sometime just for fun.

'You should be a dancer,' well that's easy, I already am. 'Go on a bike trip,' that's not such a bad idea. One thing, I've no idea how to ride a bike.

'You should get married,' I read. "Of course," I say sarcastic out loud. What is this stupid site?! It's not helping at all. I click on the next one. "Who're you talking to?" Matthew asks as he walks into my room. "Do you think I would be a good yoga instructor?" I ask as I read the next one. "What?!" Matthew says and walks towards me.

"Are you serious?!" he says as he read it. "Yea," I say, "you don't want to know how hopeless I am." Matthew presses on 'hell no' and it goes to the next one, then he presses fast on it another time. "wowow wait," I say and click on page back. I scroll down and read some information about it. "Wha-" Matthew starts but I cut him off. "Shh," I say and hold my hand in front of his face. Matthew puts his hands defensive in the air and waits until I'm done reading.

"That's what I'm going to do," I say. "I hope you're kidding," he says. "No," I say, "why would I, what the hell should I do in my life? Or at least, until I go to university next year."

"You're going to university next year?" he asks surprised. "Yea," I say not so sure why I just said that since I never thought about going to university before, "I think so, I don't know which one yet, but I think that's the best deci-"

"Who's going to university?!" my mother cuts me off and walks into my room. " Noah," Matthew says, still sounding surprised. "Really?" she says. "Yea," I say, "why are you so surprised?" "No nothing," my mom says, "I just didn't think you would go back to school." "You own hundreds of thousands of dollars," Matthew says, "you don't need to learn some job, just with doing auditions and getting some jobs here and there, let your face see for some advertisements, do some meet and greets and you would easily survive."

"But I want to learn something," I say and furrow my eyebrows in confusion, "I want to do something important in my life." My mother smiles. "What amazing to hear those words come out your mouth," she says. "Well can you leave my room now?" I mutter, "oh and by the way I'll be going on tour again in September and October." "Seriously?!" my mom says, "that's great!" "Cool," Matthew says.

"Where are you going?" my mom asks. "Eh Australia, New Zealand and some countries in Europe if I'm right," I say. "That's so sick," Matthew says enthusiastic.

"So now you can go," I say letting them know their presence isn't appreciated, "I've to fix some ... things." "okay good luck with your 'things'," Matthew says air quoting 'things'. My mother shakes her head slightly before she turns around and pushes Matthew in front of her out of my room.

I sigh when she closes my bedroom door. For the first time in a long time I feel excitement in my body, the idea of going hitchhiking makes me smile. Will it be possible to do that? It would be the perfect opportunity to figure out my place in this world, but I'll just see after tour.

I look on my phone and scroll through the private messages on i********:, nope she didn't react. The rest of the afternoon I listen to music and think about life. Since when became life so important in my life? I've never thought so much about life as I did today, like I just grew up overnight from that boy who didn't know what he wanted, to this boy who still doesn't know what he wants, but knows what he's going to do to figure it out.

During supper I speak even less than normally and afterwards Marylou keeps begging me to play with her and her doll, so I eventually agree. I normally like playing with my little sister, but this time not so much. Every time I hear the name Richelle my mind goes back to the quote girl and I just don't know why. She keeps coming up in my mind whatever I'm thinking about, it's like she involves literally everything.

"MYYYLES," Marylou says loud, my thoughts probably drifted away again. I lost count on how many times that already happened. "Sorry Lou," I say, "my mind just isn't there today." "Who are you thinking about," she giggles, I raise my eyebrows at her and see her eyes sparkle like they always do. "Nobody," I say casual, "I was just thinking about myself." She giggles again. "Since when do you think?" she says. My mouth forms an 'O'. "How dare you!" I say and start to tickle her.

"No no," she says, "stop! I'm sorry, I promise!" "I need one thing from you," I say not stopping, "repeat after me 'you're my favorite brother." "I'm your favorite sister," she says. I laugh. "Nice try," I say, "try again, you're my favorite brother."

"You're my favorite brother!" she says pushing my hands away with her little hands. "Good," I say, "I knew it." She hits me slightly and I stand up. "Another day okay Lou?" I say. She nods, "you owe me," she says. "I owe you," I say and ruffle her hair.