Break the Distance

Chapter 36

Tuesday 27th of September, 2016

Auckland, New Zealand

Noah Williams

"I'm going to my room," I say standing up. The boys and I were just chilling in West’s room, but it's getting late and I want to get enough sleep tonight. "Already?" Eldon asks. The guy himself can go on and on for hours until 4 am and wake up the next morning at 8 without an morning mood. How?

"I'm exhausted from today," I simply say and leave under a chorus of byes. I'm not that exhausted from today. Yes I'm exhausted but that isn't the main reason. Tomorrow is the 28th of September. Or, in 33 minutes to be exactly.

Tomorrow is the big day. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I won't sleep until I've met Richelle. I still can't believe it actually. I've literally been living forward to this moment for weeks. I wasn't always aware of the fact how much I was looking forward to it, but I have to admit. I can't deny it anymore. I'm so curious to whatever will happen when I see her. I've never heard her voice, I only have seen her on a few photos and I don't know what her height is, but she doesn't seem very tall.

Will we hug? What even happens after we met or does nothing happen at all. The meet and greet is before the show, so it's not like we can hang out after the meet and greet. Maybe she flies back to Wellington right after the show. I really hope she won't, I would love to spend time with her not through technology. Talking face to face for hours just like we do when we text.

That's possible right? Things will just be the same as when we text, only better.

In my room I change into my pajamas and I brush my teeth. Can't believe I'm just an one hour plane flight away from Richelle. I'm in the exact same country as here. I'm on the other side of the world, but I feel closer to home than I've felt the last 2.5 week.

I want to wrap my arms around her so badly. I want to hug her and feel that same feeling I get when we text.

Wait, did I actually just think that?! I don't like her like that right? I can't handle a long distance relationship! I'm pretty sure I can't handle a relationship at all. I'm way too awkward and nowhere near mature enough. I can remember the last time I cried and that's not a good sign!

I sigh and lay down in my bed. I think I just have to wait and see what's going to happen. I grab my phone to check my i********:. I lost count counting how many times I've checked if Richelle said something, but she never did. Maybe I really ruined it all. I'm never going to forgive myself if I did.

Hopefully she doesn't still think I'm embarrassed about her. Well I am embarrassed, just not for her. How can someone ever be embarrassed for such a perfect person as she is? I look again at the picture she sent me last week.

I catch myself smiling at the picture like I'm crazy, but I can't help it. From the color of her nails, to the elastic around her wrist. How the sun shines on her face, the colors of the flowers behind her, everything is just perfect. The way her hair curls, the slight smile on her face. It's just like everything was meant to be. Like the whole world prepared everything perfectly for that one moment, but it still looks casual like it was just a coincidence. She looks like a girl who just sat down for a second in the middle of her life, her mobile still in her hand and her purse still around her shoulder. A girl who just sat down to catch her breath and to keep on going afterwards, but a picture was taken and time was frozen. It doesn't matter how long I look at the picture, it's like time stops and continues when I look up again. Every string of hair exactly where it should be. How can I not smile at this picture?

I look at the time. 11:46. Can't the time go a little faster? I lock the screen of my phone and lay it aside. Laying on my back I close my eyes and try to fall asleep, but of course when you want to fall asleep, you won't.

I sigh and open my eyes again. It's completely dark in the room and I can hear the sound of the traffic coming from outside.

I turn to my stomach and close my eyes again. What would Richelle be doing right now? Wait, of course she's asleep, why would she still be awake? What time will her plane go tomorrow? Or did she fly this evening. Maybe she's already in Auckland!

I feel a tingling in my stomach. It really annoys me. I try to convince myself that I don't like, but I can't help to think that I do. Even though I haven't talked to her in so long, she's the first thing on my mind every morning and the last before I go to sleep.

A while later I look on my phone again hoping that a long time went by, but it's just a little over midnight. If this night is going to be like this, it's going to be a very long night.

I grab my phone and plug my earphones in. I close my eyes and lay on my back again. A playlist with songs from this tour starts playing and I mark all the dances.

When I'm after that still not asleep I start a playlist with all the songs I've ever danced too. I remember the choreography of most dances, but when I don't my mind goes straight to Richelle.

I keep asking myself questions like 'is this dance on YouTube?' and 'has Richelle seen this dance?'. Everything involves Richelle. There's always something that makes me think of Richelle, not only now, but all the time. During the worst times like when I'm having a conversation with someone, or during a show. I just can't help it and it annoys me.

It annoys me more than anything ever did.