To Have And To Hold

Rise Up...Part I

Chapter Forty-Nine: Rise Up...Part I

TATIANA

Though reluctant at first, Tarkik eventually gave in to my request, allowing me to continue to speak for the man he felt so much guilt towards...

Swallowing hard, he anxiously looked down, wringing his hands, “So, what else do you think Horacio will say?”

Looking out at the lake, I stoically told him, “Horacio will tell you to rise up when you fall. Be a beast and stay true to who you are and your vision of the future. He’s quite fierce in his belief of those words. No matter the circumstance, he would be very adamant that you never allow anyone to steal your passion—that which drives you and makes you feel whole. And he would be right—no one should have the power to take that from you, Tarkik. Though admittedly, I’m relaying those thoughts in my words. I am known to partake in twisted banter, but in instances such as this, I prefer wise words over sarcastic humor—it’s one of the ways Horacio and I balance one another.”

“I appreciate your wise words, Tatiana, but I don’t ever want to take another chance of hurting or killing someone who is fighting the same fight,” Tarkik desperately spilled out, “I know wounds happen in battle—but lethal wounds should never be inflicted by one of your own. And I know what you’re going to say—the same thing I have been told a million times and have been trying to convince myself of—that I wasn’t in control. That it was Sahar’s spell, not me.”

His chest heaving slightly, Tarkik’s pained expression broke my heart, as did his next fervent words, “In my mind, I have accepted it. But in my heart? I can’t move past what my wolf did in that clearing and feeling like it’s my fault. I won’t lie, Tatiana. The pain is unbearable, which makes me think maybe I’m not cut out to be a warrior.”

“Take it from someone who knows that kind of pain very well, my darling,” I steadfastly countered, “Strength doesn’t come from what you do, Tarkik. True strength comes from overcoming things you think you can’t do.”

Moving my gaze out to the water, I thickly stated, “And you aren’t the only one who feels like this is their fault. It’s been very overwhelming for me as well—the devastating feeling that I failed all of you by not seeing what was happening until it was almost too late.”

“Overwhelmed doesn’t begin to cover how I’ve felt,” Maxim quietly chimed in. Despite his best effort not to, he still startled Tarkik, who snapped his head around to look at him with a disconcerted gaze as Maxim continued, “I feel like I’m to blame for both instances in the clearing, especially knowing Oralia’s orchestration of your attack. I can’t stop thinking that had it not been for me, none of this would have happened.”

“I struggled with the first instance, feeling like I abandoned Anabelle when she needed me most,” Spiros stoically stated, coming around the other side to stand beside me, “She was all alone when Igor brought her to that clearing. I have never felt more helpless in my life—knowing I was left completely out of control of what was happening to Maxim and Anabelle. And while I did everything I could yesterday in the clearing, there will always a part of me that will wonder if there wasn’t more I could have done to stop what was happening. It’s difficult to do, but in times like that, you have to remember that while you can’t control what’s happening, you can control how you respond to it.”

Tarkik slowly brought his gaze up to meet with Spiros’ kind and understanding brown eyes. My Crescent Moon earnestly relaying as Anabelle came up and wrapped her arm around his waist, “My father taught me a valuable lesson when I was training to be a warrior—when you are put in dire circumstances, there will be instances where you will find yourself unable to control what happens in battle—and that’s when how you respond matters most. You are an incredible warrior with many talents that any army would be extremely fortunate to have, Tarkik. To walk away from the Moon Stone army due to something you had no control over would not only be detrimental to you—but to them. Not to mention, losing you gives our enemy the greatest of victories.”

“Well said, Spiros,” Mahan kindly called out, “My admiration and appreciation of you continues to grow. Thank you for eloquently expressing what we all feel very passionate about.”

Turning to see the large crowd of our family and his coming towards him, Tarkik nervously exhaled out, “Now overwhelmed doesn’t begin to describe how I feel.”

Placing my hands over his, I delicately requested, “I know after yesterday, you may not feel comfortable about this, but may I show you something that can possibly quell those feelings?”

Tarkik tensed beneath my touch, his head jerking around to apprehensively peer into my eyes. While his mouth opened, no words came out at first, but eventually—and warily—he replied, “O—Okay.”

Picking one of his hands up, I placed it between both of mine, wrapping my little fingers as much as I could around his large mitt before they lit up brightly in deep green. Playing out what I had seen early this morning—Tarkik, a few years older, standing beside Badru as they intensely watched and talked with one another during a training session with some new recruits—my young Moon Stone fell into a dazed stupor, his head whipping back towards Mahan and Badru after it ended, choking out, “Even after all this—you—you want me to become Delta of Moon Stone one day?”

Based on the shocked faces of his entire family, Mahan and Badru had not informed them of the discussions had regarding Tarkik’s future before the search party expedition or the decision that had been made earlier today after I told Mahan what I had seen. My description of Tarkik’s admirable presence, even-keeled temperament, and strong leadership in their army negating the doubt Tarkik’s reaction brought forth in the Moon Stone Alpha and Beta. Instead, it solidified their thoughts on the matter...

Badru stepped forward, his low baritone filled with hope as he informed Tarkik, “Ezrah told us not long ago that he is planning on retiring within the next few years. His intention was for us to choose his replacement so that he could train them personally. As you know, Ezrah has always been very particular about his role as Delta.”

Mahan came forth to stand beside Badru, warmly stating, “And while Badru and I have been discussing candidates that we feel would fit the role well, Ezrah has been very vocal about his personal choice—you. In fact, he told us that from the very first day you began your training, your immeasurable strengths and character made you his first choice as the next Delta, Tarkik. That is how extraordinary you are not only as a warrior, but as a young man.”

“It’s up to you how you proceed,” Badru purposefully stated, “But Mahan and I have decided that Ezra has been right all along. So, we are in hopes that you decide to continue as a warrior in our army, with plans to have you train with Ezra as our future Delta and if you are willing, work with us in the integrated army here at Crescent Moon.”

“I—I,” Tarkik stammered out, his gaze furiously darting between me, Mahan, and Badru, swallowing hard before choking out, “Thank you Alpha Mahan, Badru—though I don’t feel I deserve to be Delta—or part of the integrated army currently.”

Leaning forward, I whispered my reminder in his ear, “Rise up when you fall, Tarkik. Be a beast and stay true to who you have always been inside, my darling.”

“Listen to her, Tarkik, our Auntie knows what she’s talking about,” Guntur knowingly grinned, peering over at a still-stunned Corazon, Callan, Apollo, and Ayberk, “Plus, as Delta, you can be a beast who gets to boss around all his older brothers. Win-win if you ask me.”

“He gets that sarcastic humor from his uncle, I'm afraid,” I laughing murmured, “Which is why I can tell you most assuredly that Horacio would be telling you the same thing. Perhaps now would be a good time to have a little—lantern party. Enable you to have a clearer head before making your final decision.”

Bringing my left arm up in front of me, I slowly moved it across my body, bringing forth five green lanterns, kindly suggesting, “What do you say you, Maxim, Anabelle, Spiros, and I rid ourselves of some harrowing thoughts, hmmm? Send them sailing high into the air, relieving their hold on our minds.”

His arm coming around a smiling Anabelle’s shoulders, Spiros affably stated, “Count us in.”

As Jade and Kishi walked up beside him, Maxim eagerly agreed, “Count me in too.”

Cassius slowly made his way forward, lovingly encouraging his son, “If your lantern will hold it all, Tarkik, I think your brothers and I should join you in ridding ourselves of the thoughts that are currently plaguing us—I think we all need help in letting go, son.”

Tears formed in my eyes as all four of his brothers silently stepped forward, nodding in agreement as I quietly told them, “My lanterns are very sturdy, so there should be no issue assisting all of you.”

“Let’s get this party started, then,” Tarkik quietly stated in a tone full of hope, bringing a bright smile to my face.

“Would you mind sharing your lantern with me, Tati?” Mahan politely asked, “I have a few thoughts weighing heavily on me that I wouldn’t mind a little assistance with.”

“Always, Mahan,” I devotedly replied, motioning him forward to stand behind me.

Working my way around, I had them each bring all their harrowing thoughts to the forefront of their minds, pulling them out with my magic and placing them in the lanterns, which soon glowed in a rainbow of colorful auras—Mahan’s gold, Spiros’ yellow, Anabelle’s pink, Maxim and Tarkik’s blue, Cassius and the boys’ orange—and last, but not least, my emerald green...

As I sent them to glide across the peaceful, ripping water of the lake before directing them to climb up towards the sky, I resolutely exhaled out, “Sometimes we just need to remember that we have the power to rise above it all. By letting all that devastation, fear, and doubt go, we allow ourselves the opportunity to have it replaced with good things to embrace—things that bring great joy and fulfillment into our lives.”

“Oh, how I love this spell, Tati,” Mahan dreamily sighed out, “It’s amazing the relief that it brings.”

“I would have to agree, Alpha Mahan,” Tarkik astoundingly exhaled out, “I can actually feel the release of all those thoughts as our lantern climbs higher in the sky. I’m starting to think you need to reopen the fight for claim on Tatiana. Maybe she should have her own room at the main house. We would benefit greatly having her and Loa there.”

“I like the sound of that, Tarkik, and have no doubt our Alpha would agree,” Badru chortled out.

“I most certainly do. What do you say, Tati?” Mahan chuckled, prodding me further, “Hurry with your answer before Nicholas and Lorenzo object.”

“Too late, I object,” Nicholas humorously bellowed out.

“As do I,” Lorenzo mockingly bantered, “I’m surprised at you, Mahan. Dirty play is mine and Soren’s forte.”

“Horacio has mentioned that he likes having places to escape to,” I mused, leaning in to whisper in Tarkik’s ear again, “Maybe we can call it a vacation spot. Tell you what. I’ll say yes if you do.”

“Sounds like Alpha Mahan and Badru just got a win-win,” Tarkik eagerly grinned, “I’ve decided not to let Igor take away my dreams of being a warrior and you are picking out a new vacation spot.”

“A win-win, indeed!” Mahan loudly exclaimed, peering back at Nicholas and Lorenzo with an amused grin, “What an exhilarating feeling of victory!”

“You can’t have her,” Nicholas and Lorenzo steadfastly deadpanned in unison, leading to a humored response from all.

It was then that I received a link, turning to address our gathering behind me, “While I selfishly enjoy a good debate over my claim, I’m afraid I need to divert the conversation for a moment to bring forth some additional visitors.”

My eyes finding Carson, I wickedly grinned, “There is an additional present I need to give a very special Crescent Moon birthday girl—Selena.”

While his initial reaction was to gaze at me dumbfounded, Carson’s face lit up once realization hit him, excitedly humming out, “Ohhhhhh!”

“No way!” Guntur ecstatically blurted out, hugging an instantly stunned and wide-eyed Celimine close.

Flabbergasted, Nicholas muttered under his breath, “Auntie, you tricky little pixie.” I couldn’t help but giggle—it was the first time my Alpha had ever used that reference with me...

“Uh—Auntie?” Spiros nervously muttered out just as I flicked my two fingers up, bringing forth Sebastian, his wife, Milena, Faizon, Sarene, and our birthday girl who was officially seventeen—Selena.

Selena and Tarkik’s eyes immediately locked with one another in wide-eyed awe, as mine and Carson’s favorite word was breathlessly exhaled out—“MATE!”

Their mouths gaping open, Sebastian, Melina, Faizon, and Sarene all turned their confounded expressions towards my bench where Tarkik and I sat.

Slowly standing up, the future Moon Stone Delta took a few steps forward, a bright, enamored smile on his face as Tarkik sweetly greeted, “Hello. I’m—Tarkik.”

My beautiful brown wavy haired birthday girl with big brown eyes, who was wearing the bright v-neck yellow sundress with little daisies I gifted her with earlier, thoughtfully returned, “Tarkik—what a very unusual and beautiful name. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Selena.”

“Selena—I hear it’s your birthday,” Tarkik charmingly declared, “Happy birthday. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you.”

Her cheeks flushed in response as Selena sweetly replied, “Don’t be. You’re what I wished for—the perfect gift on my seventeenth birthday. I didn’t even have to blow out any candles.” With tears in her eyes, Selena moved her elated gaze to me, beaming, “Thank you, Auntie.”

Tarkik turned towards me then, affectionately murmuring, “Yes—thank you, Tatiana.”

My own gaze filling with moisture, I pressed my fingers to my lips, blowing them a kiss. Folding my fingers in, I pressed my clinched hand against my mouth as two tears fell watching the young mates’ eyes once more lock onto one another, relishing in the sight of their newly discovered love...

My fellow romantic grinning ear to ear as always, Carson exclaimed, “Perfect way to end your party, Auntie! POOF! MATE! I highly doubt Sebastian will even come close to topping your gift.”

Sebastian and Milena’s stunned gazes returned to me then. Clearing my throat, I gestured towards the fit, athletic men to my side, enthusiastically greeting, “Sebastian, Milena, my darlings, I believe you have already met Celimine, Tarkik’s sister, but allow me to introduce you to Tarkik’s father, Cassius, his mother, Aysu, as well as his four strapping brothers—Corazon, Callan, Apollo, and Aybrek.”

Peering over at them, Sebastian’s shocked expression didn’t change. However, a smile did suddenly widen across his face...

His hand coming to rest on my shoulder, Mahan supportively chimed in, “Cassius, I believe you are quite fond of the walnuts and blackberries that come from Crescent Moon. As it so happens, those are two of the many crops on Sebastian’s farm.”

“You don’t say!” Cassius enthusiastically replied, “They are my indeed my favorites. Aysu has to run me out of the kitchen, so she has enough to bake with.”

Sebastian laughed, “That’s why I like being able to eat them straight off the trees and bushes—keeps me out of the trouble with the wife.”

“Are those massive potatoes that come Crescent Moon yours too?” Corazon curiously asked, “Mom coats them in olive oil and parmesan and bakes them. Those are our favorites. We could eat them every night.”

“Another crop of mine,” Sebastian proudly returned, “Took me a few years to perfect the fertilizer combination to get them to grow like that. I was determined, though. I also love baked potatoes—and do typically have them on the table every night.”

“Dad, Tarkik hit the jackpot,” Apollo muttered out in awe through his dropped jaw, only to be elbowed hard in the ribs by Cassius as everyone chuckled in response.

Peering over at Selena and Tarkik, who were having their own inaudible conversation, Sebastian cordially stated, “If you don’t have any plans, you should come over to the farm. I’ll give you a tour and then you can join us for Selena’s birthday party tonight. We can all get to know one another better.”

“We would love to, thank you, Sebastian,” Cassius warmly returned, turning his attention to his youngest son and his young mate, “Happy birthday, Selena—and congratulations—to both of you.”

Walking over to hug his daughter, Sebastian adorably enthused, “Yes, congratulations—I was a bit caught off guard, but I couldn’t be happier that you got your birthday wish, my beautiful girl.”

While still holding onto her, Sebastian extended his hand out towards Tarkik, grinning, “I will warn you that our girl here has three very protective warrior uncles, as well as her dad and Gramps over there. And Spiros is her favorite uncle.”

Selena scowled, appearing a bit mortified by Sebastian’s statement as Tarkik whipped his head around to Spiros, shockingly exhaling out, “Selena is your niece?”

Flashing him a humored grin, Spiros lightly chided, “She is, and Sebastian isn’t wrong about the protective part—or the favorite part—watch your step, future Delta.”

“Future Delta, you say?” Faizon impressively repeated, “Very impressive indeed, young man. Congratulations, Tarkik, and welcome to our family. I’m very much looking forward to getting to know you and your family better this evening.”

Leaning down, Mahan affectionately whispered in my ear before kissing the side of my head, “Nicely done, Tati. Even your surprise ending. Thank you.”

Patting his hand, I softly murmured, “Always. I should get back to Horacio now.”

As I stood up, Jace and Lorenzo walked towards me with smiles full of love and pride on their faces, but as I rounded the edge of the bench, Tarkik called out to me, “Tatiana, wait.”

Turning, I saw him rushing towards me, his expression the complete opposite from his arrival earlier—full of happiness and hope—which again brought tears to my eyes as I adoringly stated, “Congratulations on finding your beautiful mate. And as Selena is family—it’s Auntie to you now—and I expect you take good care of my girl.”

Throwing his arms around me, Tarkik made me gasp as he unexpectedly lifted me off the ground, hugging me tight, “I will, I promise. I couldn’t let you leave without thanking you, Auntie—for everything.”

My eyes brimming with moisture, I leaned back, cupping Tarkik’s face as I earnestly whispered, “Be happy, my darling Tarkik! And I also expect to see you often to hear about your new training.”

“You will see me often, Auntie,” Tarkik emphatically promised, as a beaming Selena came up behind him. As he set me down, she enthusiastically hugged me, “Thank you for helping my birthday wish come true, Auntie. Love you always.”

“Congratulations, Selena, and happy birthday with all my love, my darling,” I affectionately gushed, “You look so beautiful in your dress—perfect for this very special occasion! You two go enjoy every moment of it, hmmm?”

Faizon and Sarene were waiting for their turn directly behind them, coming up to hug me as well, as my dear old friend and warrior chuckled, “Special day indeed, Tati. That was a sneaky move, but one of the reasons I love you so.”

I giggled, silently nodding before kissing both their cheeks and turning once more to take my leave—only to be stopped by Cassius, who thickly murmured, “I have no idea how to thank you, Tatiana.”

“Tati, please,” I sincerely replied, wiping my tears, “And you owe me no thanks, Cassius. As I requested of Tarkik—just be happy. You have quite the little gem in our Selena. She is perfect for Tarkik and you will love her like you do all your girls who have stolen your heart.”

Leaning over to kiss my cheek, Cassius warmly murmured, “I’m sure I will. If it’s alright, we will come see you at the hospital later.”

Smiling, I appreciatively replied, “I would love that,” as Jace came up and extended his arm, which I gladly wrapped my hand around as he and Lorenzo guided me up the path. When I reached Nicholas and Madeline, they smiled brightly at me, with my handsome young Alpha leaning down to kiss the top of my head, lovingly stating, “You never cease to amaze or surprise me, Auntie, which is why I will always fight for majority claim of our Fairy Queen. Love you.”

I returned his sweet gesture, kissing his cheek before continuing towards the hospital. I received many hugs and tender words on my way back up, especially from Guntur and Celimine who both expressed their love and appreciation in the sweetest words and warm embraces before heading down towards Tarkik and Selena to congratulate them.

Once we were distanced away from the group, Jace placed his hand over mine, tenderly stating, “As always, brilliantly done, Mother. You also never cease to make you son very proud of you.”

“Or your brother,” Lorenzo lovingly said, “Who is going to request that you rest for a bit before going to see Loa. Just as you love and take care of many, we are going to love and take care of you.”