To Have And To Hold

Dazed And Confused...

Chapter Thirty-One: Dazed And Confused...

NICHOLAS

After Mahan and Raven took Loa to the Moon Stone hospital, Talon was assessing Guntur, who had become much more amenable to medical attention thanks to Umar and Mattias’ arrival, wincing as our physician checked his ribs, much to the continued heartbreaking dismay of everyone, especially Cassius and his sons.

My biggest concern currently was Horacio’s condition, as Auntie continued her work inside her cocoon. She had blocked all communication in order to concentrate fully on him. While we were waiting, I decided to pull Spiros to the side—Madeline and Gavin both joining me as I acknowledged what my loyal, trusted warrior had done...

“I just wanted to take a moment to say again how very proud I am of what you did here today, Spiros,” I lauded, “You followed your instincts instead of just ignoring them and following those with more experience. Considering this was your first outing, that says a great deal about your fortitude.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Gavin impressively breathed out, “Most would have simply thought it was their nerves, just as I would have initially thought your hesitation to be.”

“Fortunately, Beast trusted you enough to follow your lead,” Madeline said with extraordinary pride, “Something that in the end, stopped Sahar and Arturo from continuing their attack until Auntie’s arrival, which is another thing you deserve high praise for.”

“Thank you—all of you—truly. And please know that I appreciate all the praise that I’ve received, but it really isn’t necessary,” Spiros courteously replied, honestly stating afterwards, “Like I said—I was just doing my job. I simply followed my gut and did what I felt I had to do to keep everyone safe. That’s why I joined the Crescent Moon army—why I have patrolled our borders—to keep everyone safe from harm. And if necessary, I will always fiercely fight for that, even with those who are on our side and outrank me—respectfully, of course—except for my Alphas, who I would merely calmly discuss my concerns with.”

“And that, Spiros, is a sign of great leadership,” Gavin proudly said, “Further proving that you have been greatly underutilized at Crescent Moon.”

“Something we all feel needs to be rectified immediately,” Madeline kindly informed him, “Starting with finding a replacement for you in the border patrol detail.”

“Of course,” Spiros politely returned, “What role would you like me to fill moving forward? I hope it's something that will still allow me to work with Zayden.”

A warm smile crossing my face, I graciously informed him, “What we have planned will involve working with Zayden, but I’m afraid what I want will require several changes in your life, Spiros. I want you in my inner circle, which means I will want you close by, residing in the main house. You and Anabelle may choose any suite you wish.”

His mouth gaping open slightly from shock, Spiros slowly closed it, swallowing hard before rasping out in disbelief, “You want me—in your inner-circle? Nicholas, this was my first time out in the field. You can’t possibly—”

Holding my hand up to silence him, I earnestly declared, “Over the years, you have proven your value to our army many times, Spiros, but refused to step outside of the box you put yourself in, putting your family first, which is admirable, but completely unfair to you and I will selfishly admit—me.”

Wanting to quickly assure him, I steadfastly continued, “And please be aware that you will still be given plenty of time to help your family when needed in case that is a factor in your decision. I am asking you as your Alpha and your friend, Spiros—please don’t refuse me now—I don’t just want you in my inner circle, I need you in my inner circle.”

Spiros’ expression turned thoughtful as he requested, “Thank you for your overwhelming sentiments and your incredible offer, Nicholas. But can I have some time to process everything and talk with Anabelle and my family?”

“Absolutely,” I sincerely replied, “Especially if it will enable me to gain a very valuable asset to my team.”

Nicholas, Auntie’s voice softly filtered into my mind, I’m sorry for the delay, but things are a bit more complex than I anticipated with Horacio. It’s taking me longer than I expected to stabilize him. How are things out there? I see Loa is fortunately awake and has been taken to the hospital. Something I suggest being done with Guntur. He’s desperate to stay near Horacio, but his leg and ribs should be tended to a bit more. Please tell him I agree with Talon that they both need to be wrapped for the time being and his Unc and I would be upset with him if Guntur delayed treatment.

I politely excused myself from the conversation with Spiros, turning to walk a short distance away. Madeline followed me, her eyes anxious, watching me intently as I replied, I will relay your message to Guntur. As far as everyone here, Cassius and his sons are struggling psychologically from what occurred, but Mahan plans on speaking with them as soon as Loa is settled in. And we are all worried about Horacio—and you.

I won’t lie to you, Nicholas—neither of us are faring very well currently, Auntie desolately returned, Which is why you and I need to talk. I’m afraid you aren’t going to like what I have to say—Arturo and Sahar will pay for what they’ve done to my King of Fury and unfortunately for them and you, they will have to answer to his Queen of Fury for their actions!

****************

MAHAN

I was known for remaining calm and stoic through most situations—most situations—but this wasn’t one of those times. Igor had attempted to execute a vicious attack on my family—against those closest to me—and thanks to Sahar’s sorcery, almost succeeded in having my own men complete his vile deed of deadly intent...

My inner turmoil was raging its own war against my willpower, as I fought to remain the Alpha and Council member everyone knew and respected, but I was filled with rage—and guilt. While it would have devastated me if Cassius and his sons had succeeded in killing Horacio, Guntur, Spiros, and Beast, it would have completely and utterly destroyed me if they had succeeded in killing Badru and Loa—an act that would have destroyed them and my Luminara as well...

I wasn’t expecting to see my beloved daughter when we arrived at the hospital, left unaware that Luminara had pleaded with Badru to have Raven bring her home after learning of my safe arrival in the clearing and Loa’s impending arrival here. She was quite emotional when we appeared in Loa’s room, immediately running into my arms, and embracing me tightly. Her presence brought a smile to my face, as both the feel of Luminara's long, thin arms around me and the kicks my grandchildren greeted me with gave me a much-needed moment of peace...

After assuring her that I was fine, Luminara tearily went to Loa’s bedside, kissing her cheek and relaying how grateful she was that our beloved sorceress was still with us thanks to Spiros’ efforts, planning on extending her gratitude to him soon. Not only for that—but for everything he did today...

While Loa was still dazed and confused after her ordeal, Luminara and I were both relieved when Bertrand, Talon, and Raven confirmed that Loa would be fine after completing their assessment of her condition. However, I was still concerned, as my Songbird did indeed suffer a severe concussion that would require Loa to be monitored closely for the next few days. My love was highly resistant to stay in the hospital as Bertrand kindly suggested, insisting that she wanted to go home to the main house...

“Please, Mahan, I want to go home,” Loa weakly pleaded, “I promise I will rest, and Bertrand can come check on me there. Plus, Raven is going to help me mix the potions needed to help my recovery and all my ingredients are there.”

“Loa, my love, if Bertrand thinks it best for you to remain here—” I softly urged before Loa interrupted me.

“Please, Mahan,” Loa lovingly pleaded, her exhausted eyes moving over to Luminara, silently begging for assistance, to which my daughter sweetly complied...

“Loa would be more comfortable at home, Father,” Luminara softly suggested, “We both will as I will be helping keep an eye on her during Loa’s recovery.”

Unable to deny either one of them, much less both, I cleared my throat before calmly suggesting, “We will make sure that Loa is kept under close watch and keep you apprised of the potions utilized, Bertrand. I would appreciate if you would agree to come check on her at the house.”

“Of course, Alpha,” Bertrand dutifully returned, “But I would like to keep Loa here for the next few hours to monitor her vital signs and make sure there aren’t any other effects from her concussion.”

“I agree with Bertrand, Aunt Loa,” Raven adoringly sighed out, “Talon and I would feel better if you at least stayed here for a little while to make sure no other symptoms arise.”

“And I’ll stay with you,” Luminara soothingly cooed, “Then, I’ll help get you settled in at home.”

Peering over at Loa, I grinned, affectionately asking, “Compromise a little, my love?”

A warm smile crossing her face, Loa quietly agreed, “Because I love you all—yes, I will compromise.”

“Thank you,” I lovingly returned, walking up to her bedside to gently kiss her lips.

Raven then informed us that she had just brought Guntur to the hospital, placing him in the room next to Loa’s. Bertrand and Talon left directly after to tend to Guntur’s wounds as Raven stated that she also brought Cassius and his sons here following their request to stay near our young Howling Wind, bringing them forth to the waiting room.

Sitting down beside her, I took hold of Loa’s long, thin fingers as she began asking questions again. Between Raven and I, we explained everything we knew about what occurred in the clearing, leading the two most important women in my life to become quite emotional. Loa’s shocked gaze remained on me, filling with further despair as details of the hit Horacio endured and Tati’s current efforts were given to her...

“If Tati is still working on Horacio, he must have suffered a grave injury to his head,” Loa frailly breathed out, “I’m sure she’s absolutely devastated.”

“She’s blocked communication currently to give Horacio her complete concentration,” Raven sadly stated, “But I’m afraid you are right. As much as I wish to stay here, Aunt Loa, I should return to the clearing. Check on how things are progressing there.”

“You have a job to do, Raven, and they need you there, especially Tati. Would you let Spiros know that I’d like to speak with him soon?” Loa weakly requested, “I want to thank him personally for everything he did for me.”

“Of course,” Raven sweetly returned, “I too will be asking for a moment with him privately. I’m indebted to him forever for saving my aunt’s life.”

“We are all indebted to Spiros forever,” Luminara thoughtfully murmured, “Our family and the entire Moon Stone pack.”

Loa silently nodded, her drowsy eyes tearing up before she closed them. A single teardrop rolled down her face that I gently reached over to wipe away with my thumb. Leaning forward, I placed another soft kiss on her lips, whispering afterwards, “I don’t want to leave you either, Loa, but I’m afraid I too need to get back to the clearing.”

Slowly reopening her tired eyes, Loa adoringly gazed at me, quietly whispering, “Like Raven, you have a job to do, Mahan. I will be fine here with Luminara. Go check on Tati and Horacio and get the answers we need from Sahar and Arturo. I love you and will be resting until your return, my love.”

Smiling at her, I devotedly returned, “And I love you, my dear. I’m going to check on Guntur first, as well as Cassius and the boys. I’ll return momentarily to give you another goodbye kiss before I leave, if you will allow me.”

Loa grinned, “I will never refuse the opportunity to receive a kiss from my beloved Alpha. Go check on everyone. I’ll just rest for a bit awaiting your return.”

Raven stated that she would wait for me to come back before we returned to our family as I left Loa in her and Luminara’s care, stepping out of the room and looking up to find Corazon and Callan hurriedly walking towards me, their gazes continuing to be filled with shame and guilt...

“Bertrand gave us an update on Loa, Alpha,” Corazon hesitantly asked, “We’re glad that she is going to be alright and is able to return home tonight.”

Callan’s tone was downhearted as he stated directly after, “We’re so sorry, Alpha Mahan—for what we did to Loa.”

“You were given no choice in the matter, Callan, so no apologies need to be made” I warmly returned, “And I’m quite concerned about the well-being of your family. How are all of you holding up currently?”

“Thank you for your concern, Alpha Mahan. We are managing, but are a bit anxious waiting to hear about Guntur. Aysu and Celimine are on their way. Hopefully, it will help Guntur to have his mate by his side,” Cassius despairingly replied, coming up behind his sons.

I leaned to the side to find Apollo, Ayberk, and Tarkik sitting in chairs, dazed as they stared out into nothing, the weight of their attack on Horacio continuing to distress them greatly, leading me to suggest, “I’m going in to check on Guntur now. Why don’t you take a seat in the waiting room and I’ll get an update for you? I’ll only be a moment.”

They all respectfully agreed, going back into the waiting room as I entered Guntur’s room. Bertrand and Talon were bandaging his leg as Umar sat beside his son on the bed, his arm around him as he intently watched the physician’s work. Their heads turning towards me, Guntur greeted, “Hi, Alpha Mahan. How is Loa?”

“She is doing well and resting, Guntur, thank you,” I kindly returned, “How are thing going in here?”

“I’m okay. My leg is banged up but it shouldn’t take too long to heal and I have several cracked ribs, but Bertrand and Talon think they will heal quickly too,” Guntur despondently replied, “I’m waiting on Celimine—Dad says she should be here soon. I’ll feel a lot better when I see her.”

“Yes, I’m sure our Celimine will be the perfect medicine,” I grinned, before appreciatively continuing, “I must thank you for all that you did today, Guntur. Your bravery and resilience in the face of such dire circumstances and the great lengths you went to not to inflict any harm on Cassius are to be commended. You proved beyond any doubt that you will be a valuable asset as future Beta of Howling Wind.”

“Thank you, Alpha Mahan,” Guntur quietly replied, “I’m just glad Loa is going to be alright—hopefully Unc will be too.”

“Your uncle is in the best possible hands, Guntur,” I confidently assured him, “I believe Tati will have him healed up and back to rare form quickly. I’m afraid Cassius and the boys will be quite traumatized by this for some time. They’re just outside, awaiting word on your injuries.”

“I’ll talk with them—after I see Celimine for a little while,” Guntur dejectedly returned, “I need to apologize for my reaction earlier, especially to Cassius.”

A warm smile crossing my face, I thoughtfully exhaled out, “I would appreciate that. Though your reaction was understandable, as you too endured a very traumatizing event. I can’t imagine it was like for you—having to battle your mate’s father. But you handled yourself nobly, Guntur, and for that, I again extend my greatest thanks, admiration, and appreciation. I’m afraid I must take my leave to get back to the clearing, but we will keep all of you updated and I’ll check on you again later.”

“Yes, sir,” Guntur quietly replied, “Thank you for taking the time to check on me, Alpha Mahan.”

“Yes, thank you, Mahan,” Umar sincerely stated, “We’re all relieved that Loa is doing well.”

Appreciatively nodding, I turned, leaving the room to make my way back to the waiting room, my gaze connecting with Cassius, who was anxiously staring at Guntur’s door.

Walking over to sit down beside him, I informed my elder warrior that Guntur was doing well and that it was felt he should heal quickly. His head hanging low, Cassius’ eyes were on the floor as he humbly thanked me for the good news, stating that he was glad Nicholas was able to convince Guntur to come to our hospital.

“As am I,” I kindly returned, “He wants to see all of you after visiting with Celimine’s for a bit. Guntur feels great remorse for his words to you earlier, Cassius.”

His gaze remaining on the tile floor, Cassius guiltily breathed out, “Guntur shouldn’t feel any remorse. What I did to him, Alpha—"

Rage flowed through my veins again at what Igor had inflicted on all who had been in the clearing. Placing my hand on his shoulder, I took in a deep breath to quell my anger, managing to calmly reply, “None of you did anything today, Cassius. You, Corazon, Callan, Apollo, Aybrek, and Tarkik had no control over your wolves’ actions. Sahar was controlling your every move. There is no guilt to be had in the aftermath of Igor’s vile attack. They are to blame—and I promise you, everyone involved will pay for the pain and devastation inflicted upon all of you today.”

“I know that we were under a spell that gave us no control over our actions,” Cassius honestly returned, “But we are all struggling—my entire family, Alpha Mahan—with the fact that our wolves are the ones who inflicted the pain and devastation on our closest allies—” Lifting his head back up, Cassius ruinously choked out, “and on two of our own.”

“And my wolf inflicted the most damage,” Tarkik brokenly stated in a hoarse whisper, “I keep seeing it—my battle with Badru and the hit I made on Horacio—the deadly strike I planned to make against Badru afterwards. I know I wasn’t in control, Alpha Mahan, but I can still feel it—what I felt in those moments. I wanted to kill them. More than anything in the world, I wanted Badru and Horacio dead. How could she do it? How could Sahar—make me feel that way? Why couldn’t my mind fight it? How could she change me like that?”

Standing up, I walked over, crouching down in front of Cassius’ youngest son, who was still so young at twenty years old, emphatically encouraging him, “Unfortunately, there are those who are not like our Sorceress Six, Tarkik. Those who utilize their magic to force others to do their bidding with evil intentions. And while they were momentarily imprisoned, your true morals, values, and intent for the greater good of all were still inside you. Sahar didn’t change who you are. She merely used the strength of your wolf in her attack today. Please, for your Alpha, your family, and yourself—do not allow Sahar’s vile actions to change who you are moving forward. The incredible young man I have known since his birth—my beloved and vastly talented Moon Stone warrior.”

His eyes, locked with mine, became heavily glazed as my impassioned words sank in. Tarkik’s teeth coming out to bite down on his lower lip, attempting to hold back his emotions before he harshly released it, politely murmuring, “Thank you, Alpha Mahan.”

I couldn’t help but fear that while Tarkik heard me, my words weren’t enough to break through the thick barrier wall of desolation that consumed him. It only made me wish more that I didn’t have to return to the clearing. I wanted to stay to care for Loa and my psychologically wounded warriors. But I couldn’t—I had to get answers—I had to find a way to keep the rage that flourished heavily throughout my body quelled. I had to remain calm, because more than anything—I had to make sure Igor never attacked another Moon Stone like he did today—I had to make sure that Igor finally paid for everything he has done to me and my pack!