To Have And To Hold

Wake Me Up...

Chapter Sixty-Seven: Wake Me Up...

TATIANA

I felt horrible and truthfully, incredibly guilty that Horacio had been left alone in his room while everyone watched the battle from Aruna’s wing, deciding to wait on showering, even though Raven and Talon urged me to do so before they headed back to the main house for breakfast. I was glad Nicholas agreed to proceed with his plans, as I felt our supportive family would help continue to ease his mind...

Freezing and needing to feel the warmth that only my King of Fury’s colossal frame could provide, I laid down beside him, whispering my plea, “I know you, love. It will break your heart if you wake and realize that you have missed Nicholas and Madeline’s wedding.”

Reaching down, I picked up Horacio’s oversized hand, wrapping as much of it up in my small grasp before placing them over his heart. I wanted to banter with him about dancing with the Howling Wind warriors, but I just couldn’t. Instead, I poured my heart out, desperately pleading, “I don’t want to go without you, Horacio. I was going to surprise you with my dress, remember? You don’t want to miss that, do you? You’ve been so anxious to see it, even used your charming wiles to try and talk me into allowing you a peek.”

Taking in a stifled breath, I breathlessly whispered, “It will be so lonely there without my King of Fury. You always make things like this so colorful and fun—pulling me into your lap to enjoy a little banter about what’s going on around us. Without passion, life is lifeless. While I will do my best to express the color and joy that Nicholas and Madeline’s wedding day will bring, in truth, I will mere be existing in the happy occasion without you—a shell of what I would normally be.”

Our emerald green aura suddenly burst with a powerful surge of energy, my eyes widening as something else burst—my green doors blowing wide open to reveal a vision of the future—sending out a flood of visions that took my breath away—

Horacio! Horacio was in every single image! Madeline and Nicholas’ wedding—my Horacio was now by my side! Smiling, laughing, and peering down at me with a look of love like I have only seen from one other—different in their appearances—but both bringing me such joy. And my Spirit Walker Beta’s eyes—the stunning grey-blue eyes I had missed so desperately...

A sharp inhale of breath taken, I blew out in a harsh, but hopeful, anxious breath, “H—Horacio?”

While his eyes remained closed, Horacio’s mouth opened slightly, his voice dry and cracked as he murmured, “So, I’m just curious—is saving my ass considered a failure because you love me and my return was delayed or because all these virile, young Howling Winds are desperately vying to replace me for your love and affection? I mean I know you’ve had to save me many times over the years and I’m going a little grey, but that’s still kind of hurtful, Fairy Queen. I am after all—your mate—and you’re mine, beautiful.”

My stunned gasp came out in a breathless heave, cupping his face as I bantered back, “Open your eyes—you’ll find the answer in mine.”

A grin slowly crossing his face, Horacio’s gorgeous eyes slowly fluttered open, coughingly chuckling as they locked in with mine, “Thank goodness—the look in your eyes says you still love me.” Even hoarse, the sound of his strengthening voice was music to my ears!

A tidal wave of tears flooded my eyes as I tenderly kissed his lips, breathlessly replying afterwards, “Believe me, my love, saving your ass could never be considered a failure because I do love you, Horacio—so very much, my love!”

All my pent-up emotions—every last one—exploded into a bawling panic attack, as the floodgates in my eyes fully opened, sending huge droplets falling onto Horacio’s face...

After placing several soft kisses on his lips, I brought my forehead up to touch with his, gently caressing Horacio’s cheeks, brokenly reprimanding him in a breathless whisper, “You—You scared me! There was blood seeping out of your head! And you didn’t immediately wake up like you were supposed to! Instead, you left my visions, Horacio! I thought I was too late—that I was going to lose you this time! Don’t ever do that to me again! So much has happened—I don’t know how much you’re truly aware of, but—you can’t leave me—I love you—I need you! Life can’t exist—can’t—function—without passion, remember? I—I—”

Reaching up to wrap his massive arms tightly around my furiously shaking body, Horacio worriedly forced out in a hushed whisper, “Tati! Hey! Calm, down, love. I’m so sorry I scared you—truly I am. I need you too, you know. Like this—like we are now. I was going nuts not feeling your touch.”

Gently placing his finger under my chin, Horacio lifted my head up to place his own soft kiss upon my lips, soothingly whispering against them afterwards, “It’s alright—I’m alright—take a breath for me, Fairy Queen. I thought I lost you too not too long ago, remember? But just like you, I fought my way back. You are the reason I breathe, Tati. Our love—it transcends all. No matter what it takes, you and I, we never stop fighting, love—ever! ”

My moisture filled gaze locked with his, my King of Fury sweetly gifted me another gentle kiss, his voice strengthening as Horacio lovingly murmured afterwards, “I love you, beautiful. Which is why nothing is going to stop me from telling those Howling Winds to back the hell off my mate or keep me from marrying my Fairy Queen so I can spend the rest of my life allowing for your continued daily ruination of this former complete ass and spoiling you rotten every chance I get. For now, though, I just want to lie here with you in my arms for a few minutes. Always the best medicine—for both of us. That’s why I had Soloman help make sure I don’t return to Raven’s visions just yet. She’s getting pretty damn good at that, by the way—made things a little difficult.”

Slowly nodding, I earnestly replied, “I love you, Horacio. And just so you know, I had no intention of dancing with anyone tonight. I am yours and yours alone—always.”

His eyebrow arching up, I let out a hastened laugh as Horacio playfully countered, “Still not going to stop me from giving those inexperienced warriors, Umar, and Guntur hell. Lorenzo is on my list too—trying to steal my Goddess’ affections. He knows damn well I love my game with her and Tink—and Charlotte has just joined the battle. No way in hell I’m giving that up!”

Reaching down, Horacio pulled my cover up over me before running his hand through the sides of my dampened curls, softly admonishing, “While I’m proud as hell of you for everything that you’ve accomplished over the last few weeks—especially with Raven today—you’re freezing, love. You need a hot shower—and sustenance—you’ve wasted away to practically nothing in my absence, Tati. I thought you and I had an agreement about food.”

Under normal circumstances, I would have argued with my King of Fury, but I couldn’t—and honestly, I didn’t want to. Instead, I relished every word, allowing my love to continue to berate me about food with a bright smile on my face—everything I’ve gone through since his injury was worth it because my King had finally returned to his Queen!

****************

Fortunately, everyone was at breakfast, allowing me to easily bring us to our room after Horacio’s insistence that we both shower. I laughingly agreed to a second request as well, unable to deny his child-like request to surprise everyone with his return. And as always with my love—good humor continued to ensue...

After a stern warning that all would remain innocent for now to make sure there were no lingering problems, I agreed to shower with my King of Fury, relishing in the feel of his heartwarming gentle caresses until I let out a fit of giggles as I was returning the gesture—running my loofah over his butt—suddenly reminded of a certain consequence given during one of my one-sided bantering sessions...

His back towards me, Horacio curiously turned his head, eyeing me warily when he saw my mischievous grin, following my gaze to his right butt cheek before reaching down with his hand, horrifyingly breathing out, “What the hell? I thought you were kidding! You really put that damn donkey on my ass?”

Laughing out loud was my only option after his response, though I did try to stifle it by covering my mouth as he turned sideways, narrowing his wide eyes as he accusingly pointed to the tattoo—the head of a grey donkey that had it’s mouth gaping open in an elated cheesy grin with huge eyes, long eyelashes, and its tongue hanging out the side—adamantly demanding, “It’s not staying! Get rid of it, you tricky little pixie—now!”

Flashing him a mocked expression of innocence, I countered, “I warned you if you didn’t wake up, it would stay.”

“Tati!” Horacio steadfastly exclaimed, pointing towards it, “I mean it—take away the ass—now!”

My eyes widening, I lowered them to his butt again, slowly drawling out, “Are you sure you want me to take away your ass?”

Knowing me well, Horacio instantly rebuttled, grabbing both his perfectly plump, rounded butt cheeks, “Not this ass!” Letting go he harshly pointed towards the tattoo again, emphatically exclaiming in a harsh whisper, “This one!”

Covering my mouth, I tried to stifle my laughter as Horacio joined in—the ridiculousness of the whole thing and his response hitting him as well—warming my heart with his humored soft plea, “Please remove the donkey, love? I promise I will make up for my prolonged absence in much more enjoyable ways.”

“What about the other tattoo?” I amorously asked, pointing to his left cheek, “I put a lot of work into that one.”

A quizzical look crossing his face, Horacio turned to see what I was talking about—a loud intake of breath sounding out as he looked down and saw the small tattooed red lips I had left there—breathlessly exhaling out, “Again—thought you were kidding—did you really kiss my ass to make sure it was realistic?”

“I did,” I lovingly drawled out.

“Wow—that’s a serious turn-on, Tati,” Horacio rasped out in awe, continuing to admire the new magical ink for a moment before snapping his head back up, “That? STAYS! But the damn donkey GOES! And before you go getting all ha-ha, I can fix it—ONLY THE DONKEY! I’m rather proud of my ass—think it’s one of my best features. I don’t want to take any chances of it not coming back just as it is now.”

“While it is magnificent, I disagree about it being your best feature—but I will grant your wish,” I bantered back, whisking my hand sideways and removing the unwanted, but hilarious tattoo, laughing under my breath afterwards as he let out a sigh of relief, tears forming again as I informed him, “I’ve missed this, you know. I have discovered through all of this that I’m quite lost without our banter.”

Flashing me his stunning broad smile, Horacio pulled me up into his arms, our naked bodies pressed firmly against one another as he huskily replied, “Remember you said that, love—I have a lot of time to make up for!”

**************

HORACIO

There was no denying that this experience had changed me in many ways. This instance was truly the closest I had been to death at a time when I had more to lose than I ever had before, which made me more grateful than I had ever been that I was alive and holding my Fairy Queen in my arms again. My wolf was overjoyed as well, echoes of his gleeful howl echoing out the moment I opened my eyes. I knew my request to keep my awakening secret for a bit was selfish, but I needed this time with Tati—my wolf and I both did—we needed it more than anything in the world...

It broke us, my wolf and I, seeing the pain in our Fairy Queen’s eyes when I woke—to hear the unbearable angst in her voice. I had put her through hell—more than I had realized—and while I went through much the same following the end of her devastating battle with Frieda, that kind of pain is what I had sworn to myself I would never put her through...

That thought led me to strengthen my hold on her, kissing the top of her head, which popped up soon after as she softly relayed, “I’m afraid it’s time to start allowing others to know the good news, love.”

“Knowing that there is food is the only reason I’m actually not mad about that. I’m starving!” I eagerly grinned, before derisively pointing out, “Although, I’m not the only one who will be eating. Seriously, Tati. I bet you’ve lost at least fifteen pounds, if not more.”

Flashing me a guilty grin, Tati diverted, “Actually, I was thinking that we should return to your hospital room. Bring Lorenzo, Priscilla, and Alastor there under the guise of bringing me a small plate of food. I think they would appreciate a private moment with you.”

Agreeing with her, she linked the three before bringing us back to the hospital. While waiting for them to arrive, I lifted my Fairy Queen back up into my arms, another kiss given while holding her in my unrelenting grasp. Tati was stunned at my action, releasing her hold on my neck to bring her hands down, pressing on my arms as she admonished, “Horacio! You and I talked about this. Let me go this instant! You shouldn’t be picking me up. You are still recuperating!”

My face within inches of hers, I lightly returned, “One—you are no more difficult to lift than a coffee cup, which I could honestly use right now. And two—I have news for you, beautiful. I’m never letting you go—not now, not ever! It’s you and me, Fairy Queen. Life and passion forever together as one.”

Her eyes drifting down to look at my long-sleeved beige dress shirt and dark brown pants she chose for me to wear to the wedding, Tati enthrallingly replied, “As handsome as you look right now, I’m finding it very hard to continue my argument.”

The door opened then, my Alpha and Luna walking in the room, followed by Alastor, but upon seeing me and Tati, all three halted their step, staring at me in wide-eyed disbelief. Still wanting to surprise the others of my return, I quickly brought my finger up to my lips before happily informing them, “Hello all. I’m planning on a showy grand entrance at breakfast, so keep quiet about my return for me, if you don’t mind.”

I had to set Tati down a little harsher than I typically would have as Priscilla shoved the plate of food in Lorenzo’s hands and ran towards me, her arms mightily thrown around my neck as she crashed into me, tears flowing heavily down her cheeks, sobbing out, “Horacio! Oh, my boy is back! I thought—oh, I thought I lost you. I love you so much, my dearest!”

“I love you too, my Luna,” I wholeheartedly exhaled out, “I’m sorry for scaring you like I did—and thank you, for all you said to me—I heard every word.”

“And I meant every word!” Priscilla devotedly returned before leaning back to look at me with a wide smile, “Oh, Horacio! You have no idea how happy I am right now!”

Alastor was beaming at me as he rushed forward then, pulling me into a hard, harsh embrace, elatedly laughing out, “You scared the hell out of me, Horacio! And I won’t lie—you came very close to getting replaced by Caelus, you ass!”

Pushing back from him, I confidently retorted, “Liar! I heard every word you said to me. And you know damn well you are looking as forward to us working together again as I am! Besides, Caelus still needs some work on how handle you.”

We all turned to look at Lorenzo, who still stood holding the plate, staring at us—speechless and stunned—as I gently greeted, “It’s good to see you, Lorenzo, though it’s not like my Alpha to be silent. Talk to me.”

“I have no idea what to say to you right now, Horacio,” Lorenzo disbelievingly whispered out in return, “To tell you what it means to me to see you standing before me now. To relay what you and your presence in my life means to me—and how happy and relieved I am, son. None of the words coming to mind feel good enough—meaningful enough to say.”

“We’re Spirit Walkers, Lorenzo,” I chuckled, “Heartfelt words like that haven’t exactly been in our nature until just recently. If it helps, the words you’ve just spoken and the look on your face says it all. As far as I’m concerned, nothing more needs to be said—except that you can’t have Constance. Borrow? Fine. But become her favorite? Out of the question.”

Rushing forward, Lorenzo heavily dropped the plate of food on the bedside table before grabbing a hard hold of my shoulders, harshly pulling me into emotional embrace, brokenly exhaling out, “Losing both you and Gareth—my two closest confidantes—in such a way would have pained your Alpha more than you could ever imagine, my Beta. But losing you personally—that would have been one of the most devastating blows my heart has ever endured, Horacio—I have and always will love you as my own.”

Not only did I hear every word—I felt every word—choked up as I earnestly replied, “I love you too, Lorenzo.”

Pulling back, I raised my eyebrow, sarcastically retorting, “However, you didn’t mention one word about our Goddess.”

A wicked grin crossing his face, Lorenzo animatedly returned, “Now, now, Horacio. You know Spirit Walkers never give up easily. I’m afraid the battle for Constance is on, Fury!”

*************

AZORA

Sitting beneath a large tree in the backyard with Triton, I was glad that Tatiana and Raven enabled us space to go outside the little cottage with their spell of protection. It allowed me to privately get to know my mate...

A mate—the last thing I ever anticipated happening in my life—I never expected to fall in love, much less be part of a connection formed by the wolves’ Moon Goddess. I used to think it a silly notion. But now, I found it both intriguing and, as my heart felt fuller than I ever imagined, incredible...

Gazing at the lean, well-toned man beside me, I found Triton so enticing, heat quickly rose in my cheeks. He was just slightly taller than I was with compelling deep-set dark brown eyes. His full face and chubby cheeks were so very attractive to me, along with his charming smile.

Still mortified by my recent actions, I encouraged Triton to tell me more about him, learning that I was what was deemed a ‘second-chance’ mate. His first mate, Danica, passed away of a heart ailment seven years ago, leaving him with two children, Dagger, who was twenty-one and a warrior, like his father, and Tula, who was about to be twenty and as fate would have it, was mated to Dagger’s best friend, Silas.

Triton was forty-five, just a few years older than me, and worked in Alpha Nicholas’ front warrior line as a senior leader and based on details of his daily life, had primarily thrown himself into his work to fend off the loneliness he felt at home after Danica's passing. You could tell the vast love he held for his children, especially Tula, who, as Triton relayed, had attempted to help him move forward to no avail, which had distressed her a great deal...

It was then that Triton cautiously asked about my past and upbringing, again bringing forth great unease as I told him about my mother and the feelings of reluctance that I felt to utilize my sorcery because of the witches I was surrounded with throughout my upbringing, choosing to live a solitary life at our family home...

“Although they are very different circumstances and reasons, it seems be both chose to hide instead of really living,” Triton kindly exhaled out, “Maybe that’s why the Moon Goddess chose to put us on the same path to find one another.”

“It’s always been fascinated about the Moon Goddess and have read so many things about the subject, but never really understood it until now,” I contemplatively replied, “It seems funny to me—how magical it is.”

“I’m greatly appreciative of how magical it is,” Triton sweetly returned, his dark chocolate eyes enamored as he gazed at me, “I’ve forgotten what a wonderful feeling it is—being captivated by the beauty of it—and a mate.”

Continuing to be blown away by his kindness and tender heart and fearful of the profound feelings I already had for him, I intently inquired, “Please don’t take this the wrong way. But after hearing my history and knowing what I’ve done—do you not have any reservations about me being your mate?”

Placing his hand on top of mine, which sent tingles of an unfamiliar sensation—stirring desire—Triton returned with heartfelt sincerity, “If there is anything I hope to help you realize, Azora, it’s that forgiveness is freedom. I struggled with it myself for years after Danica’s passing—wondering if I did enough, if I could have done more to help her live—but over time, I’ve found that forgiveness is the greatest gift I have given myself. It’s allowed me to breathe again. To see the color there still is in life—and most importantly, enabling my mind and heart to open fully again, which has enabled me to find you.”

Allowing the wisdom of his words to really sink in, there was a slight pause between us before I softly confessed, “I would really like that, Triton—to see the color there is in life. Only for me, sad as it sounds, it would be the first time. But I think if anyone can help me navigate my new path and find that forgiveness—it’s you.”