The Painful Loss
1409 Words
HERA POV
My eyelids felt heavy. The smell of medicine and clean linen immediately greeted me. I tried to move my fingers, but it felt like something was attached to my hand. Slowly, I opened my eyes. The first thing that greeted me was the white ceiling, the cold air from the air conditioner, and the faint beep-beep sound coming from the monitor beside me.
“Mrs. Sarmiento? Are you awake?” A nurse approached me. She checked my IV and examined my eyes using a small flashlight.
“Whe… where am I?” I asked hoarsely. My throat was completely dry.
“You’re at St. Jude Medical Center. You were admitted last night due to a car accident,” she answered while adjusting my pillow.
Everything suddenly came rushing back. The rain. The truck. The pain in my abdomen. I quickly held my stomach. It was flat. I couldn’t feel anything except the intense pain that felt like something was slicing through me.
“My baby? My child, is he okay?” I asked frantically. I tried to get up but immediately cried out because of the sting from the stitches on my body.
The nurse lowered her head. She couldn’t look at me directly. “Please wait, I’ll call your doctor.”
“Don’t call the doctor! Answer me! Is my baby okay?” I shouted, even though my voice was struggling.
At that exact moment, the door opened and a female doctor walked in. She approached my bed and held my hand. Her gaze was filled with pity—the last look I ever wanted to see from anyone.
“Mrs. Sarmiento, I’m Dr. Mendoza. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but because of the strong impact of the crash and the amount of blood you lost… we couldn't save the pregnancy. We had to perform an emergency D&C.”
My world stopped. It felt like all the air in the room suddenly disappeared. “Pregnancy? So… she’s gone? My baby is gone?”
“I’m very sorry. Your body went through a lot of trauma,” the doctor said softly.
I couldn’t respond. I wanted to cry, I wanted to break down, but it felt like I was completely drained. I just stared into nothingness as I felt all the dreams I had built for the family in my mind slowly crumble.
After a while, the door opened again. Jaxen walked in. He was still wearing the same suit from last night, but it was now wrinkled. His hair was messy and he looked extremely exhausted. But when I saw his face, I didn’t feel hope. I remembered the last thing he said to me on the phone.
Stop overreacting.
He looked at me, then at the doctor. “How is she? Can she walk now?”
He didn’t even ask how I was feeling. His first question was whether I could already walk.
“Mr. Sarmiento, your wife just lost the baby. She needs rest and emotional support,” Dr. Mendoza replied firmly.
Jaxen paused for a moment. He looked at my stomach, then back into my eyes. “Oh. I see.”
That’s it? I see?
“Jaxen… our baby is gone,” I whispered, desperately searching for even the slightest emotion on his face.
“I heard the doctor, Hera,” he replied. He took a few steps closer but still kept his distance. “Look, I know this is hard. But Bianca is in a much worse state. She's in the VIP suite, three floors up. She lost a lot of blood and she has a rare blood type. O-negative, right? Same as yours.”
I let out a soft laugh, a bitter one. “What did you say?”
“Bianca needs a transfusion. The hospital’s blood bank is running low on O-negative supply because of the number of accidents last night. Hera, you’re the only one I know who can donate immediately. It’s just a bag of blood. You can help save her.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The doctor had just told me I lost my baby. I had just undergone surgery. And here was my husband, asking for my blood for the woman who was the reason I got into that accident.
“Jaxen, I lost our child. And you’re here asking me for blood for Bianca?” I asked, every word filled with bitterness.
“Hera, let’s be professional. What happened to the baby is over. We can’t bring that back. But Bianca is still alive. She can still be saved,” he said bluntly, as if we were discussing a business transaction.
“Professional? I’m your wife, Jaxen! Your wife lost a child! Didn’t you hear? Your child died!” I shouted, causing the nurse at the side to look over.
“Don’t shout. It’s embarrassing for the other patients,” he said seriously. “I’ll talk to the doctor if it’s safe for you to donate. Even just half a bag.”
“Leave, Jaxen. Get out before I forget that you’re my husband,” I threatened. My whole body trembled with anger.
He took a deep breath, clearly annoyed by my “drama.” “You’re being difficult again. You know Bianca is important to me, right? At least this time, try to be mature.”
“Important? Then what am I to you? What is our child to you?”
He glanced at his watch, looking in a hurry. “Look, about the baby… I didn’t even know you were pregnant. You should have told me earlier.”
“I was going to! Last night! But you chose to yell at me and say I was overreacting while I was bleeding inside the car!”
Jaxen shook his head. “Maybe it’s for the best, Hera. Maybe it’s not yet time for us to be parents. At least now, you can focus on recovering, and I can focus on my work and helping Bianca.”
It felt like I was slapped a billion times. Maybe it’s not yet time. That was all he could say about the death of our own child?
At that moment, something inside me died. Not just the baby, but all the love I had given to the man standing in front of me. The pain was replaced by something cold and hard. Anger began to flow through my veins, stronger than any medicine in my system.
“Thank you, Jaxen,” I said softly.
He frowned. “For what?”
“For showing me who you really are. Now I know exactly where I stand.”
He stared at me for a long moment, perhaps surprised by my sudden silence. His phone rang. He looked at it and quickly put it away.
“I have to go. Bianca’s stable for now, but I still need to settle her bills. Just rest. I’ll send my driver later to check on you.”
He turned around and walked toward the door. But before he could leave, I spoke.
“Jaxen.”
He looked back. “Yes?”
I stared straight into his eyes. No tears, no emotion. “Don’t bother sending the driver.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning.
“I mean, don’t bother. Because once I leave this place, you will never see me again.”
He let out a slight laugh, a mocking one. “Hera, stop talking nonsense. Where would you even go? You have nothing without me. Just rest, okay?”
Before I could respond, he finally walked out and closed the door. I remained lying there, staring at the white ceiling. I felt the pain in my heart, but this time, I wouldn’t cry.
Dr. Mendoza came back in to check my blood pressure. “Mrs. Sarmiento, are you okay? Your BP is rising.”
I took a deep breath and looked at her. “Doc, when is the earliest day I can be discharged?”
“At least three days, Mrs. Sarmiento. You need to recover from the surgery.”
“Let’s make it two days, Doc. I still have a lot to take care of.”
“But you need to rest—”
“I’m done resting, Doc,” I cut her off as I clenched my hand under the blanket. “I need to start my new life.”
- Writer
