Only After I Lost Her

Chapter 1 You Disgust Me

"Ms. Nelson, the fertility medication will accelerate the growth of the cancer cells throughout your body. At this rate, you're looking at six months at best. Are you absolutely certain you want to proceed with this injection?" the doctor asked, his voice heavy with concern.

Nina Nelson pictured her child on the other side of the ocean, clinging to life as they waited for that cord blood. Her voice came out steady. "Do it, Doctor."

The doctor sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he administered the injection against every professional instinct he possessed.

As she gathered her things to leave, he made one final attempt. "If you would just focus on treatment instead of this pregnancy, there is still a chance."

She stopped him with nothing more than a small shake of her head. Time had become her cruelest adversary. She pleaded silently with her failing body, Just hold on a little longer. Just until the baby arrives.

When the hotel elevator doors opened, they revealed the hallway leading to the penthouse suite where Xavier Sullivan always stayed.

Inside that dim room, her heart pounded against her ribs as she took in the sight of him. His mind was already clouded by whatever had been slipped into his drink. The gentle boy she had once loved had transformed into someone all sharp angles and cold fury.

Her trembling fingers reached for his belt buckle, and his hand shot out instantly. His grip locked around her wrist like iron.

She looked up and felt her breath catch. Those devastating eyes that had once adored her now burned with naked contempt.

"Have you lost your mind?" Xavier's voice could have frozen the Atlantic. "You actually drugged me?"

After five years of silence, this was how he chose to greet her?

Shame abandoned her completely. She clawed at his shoulders, desperate to close the distance between them, but he threw her back as though she were nothing more than trash.

Before she could draw another breath, he was upright, his face flushed from the drug and twisted with rage. His fingers found her throat and squeezed just short of cutting off her air.

"Did that worthless husband of yours drop dead too soon?" He spat the words like venom. "Couldn't stand playing the grieving widow, so you came crawling back to me?"

The cruelty of his words struck harder than any physical blow could have. Hot tears burned behind her eyes.

Once, those eyes had worshipped her. Now they made her feel lower than dirt on the sidewalk.

The past came roaring back like a riptide, dragging her under its current.

Just as darkness began creeping in at the edges of her vision, the pressure vanished. She barely registered the mattress hitting her back before the sound tore through the room.

The violent tearing of fabric echoed like a gunshot.

Tears poured down her face like a sudden storm, soaking into her hair. Their bodies moved in familiar rhythm, every touch and every scent painfully known. Yet not a trace remained of the love they had once shared. Even through the haze of the drug, she could feel Xavier's revulsion burning through every glance and every touch.

As their frantic bodies reached c****x, he gasped against her ear, his voice thick with loathing. "Nina, you disgust me."

Once, he had whispered breathless declarations of love in these intimate moments, his voice husky with desire. Now only those three brutal words remained. They wrapped around her heart like a vine of thorns, digging deeper with every painful beat.

Suddenly, the floodgates burst open, and a lifetime of memories drowned her. Their childhood promises, stolen kisses, all the years they had loved each other.

She and Xavier had grown up together, their love story spanning more than a decade. But one month before their wedding, his parents had vanished after getting into a car driven by a member of the Nelson family. By the time anyone found them, their bodies had already begun to rot.

The Chase and Nelson families had picked the Sullivan fortune clean, leaving nothing behind. Her own parents had forced her to marry a man from the Chase family, cutting all ties with Xavier.

The final cruelty came when her wedding procession drove past the very cemetery where his parents were being buried that same afternoon.