The Decoy Date

Chapter Four

Imogen sat frozen to the spot, her mind had gone blank; the only thing floating around in there was his proposal, bouncing off the insides of her head like that screensaver everyone used to have. Charlie Ramsey, her fake boyfriend. There was no chance of that happening, but then she remembered her mother’s warning and the way he’d spoken to her on the phone and how he’d changed and apologised to her, being genuinely sorry. Then she revisited that kiss again and the way it had made her feel and the way she forgot the world around her. She wasn’t seriously considering this was she, how could she, the way he treated her; but here was seriously thinking about taking up the offer.

“You don’t have to, I know I hurt you before. I just thought this could make your life that little bit easier.” He was backpedalling quickly but the cogs were whirring in her brain going through all the possibilities; was it some elaborate prank to degrade her further or was he really offering himself up on the sacrificial altar in front of her and in front of her mother.

“I need to think about it, I want my mother off my back, but you and I have a history that I’d rather forget. I . . . I just need time to think about it.” She sipped at her coffee trying to get her head around what he was proposing, she needed to think it through properly, write down all the pros and cons and weigh it up. “Let’s talk about something else for now. Like how did you become a maths teacher? You never worked in school.”

“I worked, I just didn’t let on to other people that I worked. College made me realise I couldn’t just sit back and expect to walk into a job, I needed to knuckle down and make it happen myself. I started my A-Levels just as my sister went off to uni, my parents were so proud of her, I just wanted them to feel proud about me just once. As you know I wasn’t the best behaved kid at school.” He smiled over his coffee cup, his eyes twinkling. “I’ve always been good at maths and I had a really great teacher at college, he worked with me and helped me get into university.”

“I hated maths, I had sweaty smith every year, I don’t know why they kept employing him he couldn’t teach pigs to roll in s**t!” Smiling ruefully, she recalled sitting in a dark, cold classroom being forced to do sums from a dank, musky textbook while the pupils behind her kicked her chair and called her names.

“All the maths teachers at school were crap, they didn’t want to be there and they didn’t want to teach us.” Both she and Charlie finished their coffees and continued chatting about his job; she found out he graduated from the University of Leicester along with Adam Brent, who was another of her tormentor’s from school. He then moved back to London and completed his PGCE.

“I better get back to the shop, Jess will be wondering where I am.” She stood up and pushed her chair in, he mirrored her actions putting his jacket on before moving around the table towards her. Imogen flinched as he held out his hand for her to shake, after some hesitation she took it and felt the heat from yesterday return where they held contact.

“If you come to a decision about the fake dating thing, I’m at home alone tomorrow. You can pop round if you want, I’ll either be watching the football or cooking for myself. I live on Chalcot Road.” He walked her back to the shop without pushing the subject further, respecting her desire to think it through by herself. Imogen went into the shop without him and was immediately faced with a disgruntled Jess, she stood arms crossed and a single eyebrow raised waiting for some sort of explanation.

When one wasn’t forthcoming the interrogation began. “You kissed Charlie Ramsey, the same Charlie Ramsey who tortured you and tormented you, gave you countless hours of anguish and suffering. What the hell were you doing?” Imogen stood speechless, her mouth opening and closing like her three goldfish at home, no words coming out. “It’s like you’d forgotten everything he did to you and you came back all loved up having kissed him and then today you go and have coffee with him, accepting his meagre apology like it was the most sincere thing in the world.” She was breathing hard, her nostrils flaring; all she needed was the fire coming from her mouth to look like a dragon.

“I didn’t know it was him until after the kiss and when I found out I ran off. Then today I wanted to hear him out okay, I know he was terrible to me but he wasn’t the worst and I felt he deserved a chance to explain.” She glared at her friend who was trying to calm herself down. “I think this is a way to finally get proper closure on the whole school thing, leave it in the past once and for all.” Jess still looked annoyed but seemed to accept her explanation, it wasn’t time to tell her about Charlie’s offer yet though, that would only set her off again. She really didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of her punches.

Settling behind the counter, Imogen grabbed a notepad and began noting down reasons for and against being Charlie’s fake girlfriend:

PROS:

Get mum off my back Prove mum wrong Date for dad’s party Date for Daisy’s wedding? No more dates with weirdoes Charlie nicer person More kisses from Charlie

CONS:

Bad history Elaborate joke to humiliate her? Friends/family hate him Can I trust him?

Wracking her brain she tried to find more negatives about Charlie, but other than the past they shared and all the trust issues that stemmed from that, she couldn’t think of any. Whereas she could think of plenty of advantages, most involving her mother and minimising the input she had on her life. Why was there nothing else stopping her from doing this? She shouldn’t even be considering it but here she was thinking about going round to his house and agreeing to fake date him.

“What are you writing? Jess reached round her shoulder and grabbed the paper before Imogen could stop her; Damn her cat-like reflexes! Imogen chased after her friend and cursed her lack of sportiness, she loved to watch it, but when it came to playing she had the skills of an elephant wearing roller skates on ice; her mother used to call her Bambi on ice, even though this hurt as much as the kids at school calling her fat.

“Get mum off my back . . . Date for dad’s party . . . more kisses with Charlie? What the hell are you doing?” Imogen tried to grasp at the notebook, but Jess moved too quickly and left her empty-handed. “Why are you writing pros and cons about Charlie Ramsey?” Imogen tried once again to grab the book but Jess was prepared for another attack and ran back to the front of the shop, stopping to look through the list one more time.

Imogen paused and watched her friend, she needed that notebook back but had to use her skills to her advantage. She had strength, more strength than Jess if she caught her by surprise; surprise was definitely the key here she thought. Walking back towards her friend she feigned defeat, stooping her head and looking up through her eyelashes before unleashing her power and springing on Jess, pushing her to the ground. Grabbing the notepad, she straddled her friend and pinned her arms to the floor limiting the movement and damage Jess could cause.

“I will tell you what the list is all about, if you promise not to get violent. To be honest, you’re not really in a position to argue anyway.” She smirked down at her friend then shifted slightly so as not to cut off the blood supply to Jess’ hands, she didn’t want to fill out an insurance form for a member of staff losing a limb. “Okay, my mum rang while I was having coffee with Charlie and assumed he was the man I told her about yesterday, so she insisted on talking to him. When she’d finally rung up, Charlie couldn’t believe what she was like and offered a solution to my problem of having made up a boyfriend.” She took a deep breath and anticipated Jess’ reaction to what she was about to say.

“He offered to be my fake boyfriend and go to this party my mum’s organising and my sister’s wedding.”

“Why the hell are you even considering this? Have you forgotten what he did to you in school?” Jess wriggled between her legs, trying to escape the vice-like grip of Imogen’s thighs; eventually admitting defeat and lying still.

“Of course I haven’t forgotten what he did to me? That’s why I was making the list, trying to decide if it was worth it agreeing or not. I can’t face my mother without a boyfriend at my side and this offer is becoming more and more appealing at the moment it’s my only option. So yes I am seriously considering it.”

“Can I get up please? We haven’t cleaned this floor in a very long time and I think there is a giant dust bunny under that shelf eyeing me up.” She tried to joke her way out of her position of weakness, but Imogen needed to know she wasn’t going to get hurt if she released Jess; a right-hook like the one Charlie received would leave her only able to eat through a straw.

“Do you promise not to hurt me if I let you up?” She could see the mechanisms working overtime in her friend’s brain weighing up the cost of hitting her and decided against it with a look of surrender, if she could have moved her arms she’d have been waving a white flag.

“Fine, but I think you’re an i***t for even thinking about this.”

“I probably am but what you going to do about it.” She stuck her tongue out as she pulled Jess to her feet and grinned as she dodged the fist she’d been expecting would come.

                                                  *

Where the hell is the pepper? Charlie thought to himself as he opened every cupboard in his kitchen, his housemates didn’t cook, yet he could never find the things he needed in there. The chicken parmesan he’d made just needed that last bit of seasoning before it was ready to eat, he’d been waiting all week for this and the missing pepper was just another thing in the way of him eating his favourite meal. He checked each cupboard again and came up empty handed, where would they put it? He began to think they were doing it on purpose, just so his day off was ruined while they both had to work.

Maybe the fridge, why the hell they’d put it in there I don’t know. There it was, on the middle shelf of the fridge, what was wrong with them? He ground the black pepper into the dish of baked chicken in tomato sauce and added a little more cheese before returning it to the oven for one last heat through. His mouth began salivating at the smell of it, he hadn’t had time to cook much this week and had had to live off beans on toast and soup, so his Sunday lunch would be absolute heaven. Pasta check, chicken check, beer check; he got a plate out of the cupboard and gathered his cutlery, ready to serve up.

One last test of the pasta revealed it was perfect, slightly al dente, switching off the electric ring he grabbed a colander and moved to the sink.

Ding Dong!

“Ugh! Who’s that now? I just want to eat my chicken and watch the football in peace, that’s the only thing I’m asking for.” He looked up to the heavens and slammed the pan of pasta down onto the dark granite worktop and let out a sigh from the deepest depths of his being. Slowly he trudged to the door, ready to shout at whoever it was that was disturbing him on his sacred Sunday and tell them to f**k off.

Ding Dong!

“Alright, alright I’m coming. What is wrong with you peo-“. His jaw dropped in shock when he saw Imogen standing awkwardly on his doorstep, he’d never expected her to actually show up. The way she’d reacted to his proposal had made him believe he’d never see her again, yet here she was standing nervously in front of him finding something very interesting to look at by her shoes. After a few moments of silence she looked up shyly through her eyelashes in a way he found incredibly adorable and smiled as she shrugged her shoulders apologetically.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”