I'll Have Both

12 - I'm Not a Monster

Derick's POV

She still hasn't responded to my message. Thinking about her is driving me crazy. I'm worried about what happened last night as well. I need to tell her who I am and explain to her that my father and I are two separate individuals with two different ideologies. I want nothing to do with my father. I heard a ping from my phone and hoped it was her. It was her. But she didn't respond to my text. My smile faded away the minute I saw her response. 

Tanya: (smiley face) Can we talk later?

Derick: Are you ok? Of course.

Tanya: I'm fine. Lunch at 12?

Derick: Great. See you later.

I was worried about what she wanted to talk about. I had no doubt she knew but I will convince her that I have nothing to do with my father's business. I was going out of my mind not knowing how she would react. Why does it have to be so complicated? I need to calm down and just breathe. It's going to be fine. I need a cold shower.

When I hopped out of the shower, I heard my phone chiming on the bed. It was her again.

Tanya: I'm sorry but I can't make it. My kitchen is flooded, and I have to wait an hour for the plumber.

Derick: I'm on my way. What's your room number?

I was certain she wouldn't reply because it took her forever to message me back. 

Tanya: The King Suit on the 10th floor. 

I just needed to stop at the laundry maintenance room to get some tools. It wasn't long before I was at her door. I knocked gently and waited for her to open it. Holy f**k… She answered the door in a t-shirt and panty. Her n*****s are visibly poking out inviting me to s*ck on them. I could imagine her naked body beneath me in all sorts of positions. Oh God Tanya my d**k convulsed in my pants.

She stood looking at me lost in her own imagination. 

"Are you going to let me in?" I broke her out of her trance. "I'm here to fix your leak." 

She pointed towards the kitchen, and I walked past her while she stood in the same position. I just needed to replace a coupling that had a split. She finally decided to grace me with her presence. 

"You could have closed it right here." Women know nothing about fixing broken stuff I thought. 

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time." She answered sarcastically.

" I see you got your voice back." Because she has been on mute from the time I got here. 

"Jerk." No, she didn't. I couldn't help but chuckle. 

It was hot in here. I removed my shirt. Seeing her close her eyes at the sight of my naked chest did something unexplainable to me. I stood in front of her and fought the urge to not pounce on her. 

"Open your eyes."  My breathing was labored. This girl is irresistible. 

"You wanted to talk." I asked. 

"I….." She was too bothered to talk. 

"You?" I teased her.

"I….." this was all she could muster. I love that I had the same effect on her like she had on me. 

She leaned in and kissed me lustfully. I was shocked but matched her passion. She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me closer to her.  The warmth that radiated from her p***y made my c**k stiffen. I wanted to feel her breast.  I pushed my hands under her shirt and seized her breast in my hand kneading them with my fingers. They were soft and voluptuous. 

" Stop." I barely heard her. 

"Why start something you can't finish?" I didn't want to stop but was also relieved that she did.

"Says the guy who left me hanging in the elevator." The look of regret on her face said it all. 

I couldn't believe what she just said. If only she knew how much courage it took for me to ask her to stop me. You little tease. 

"The floor won't dry itself." Bossy. I like it. 

"Yes boss." I made sure I obeyed her command. 

She came out of her room fully cladded. Smart move. 

"So, you wanted to talk?" I didn't forget the focal point of my uneasiness. 

"Yes, would you like to sit?" She asked. 

We both sat down.

"Would you like a drink?" Of course, I do. I need to calm my nerves. 

"On ice." She knows exactly what I mean. 

She came back with what I guessed by now is her favorite drink. I did promise her a drink but in a different setting.

"I don't know how to say this." My stomach sank. 

"You know who I am?" She definitely knows. Sh*t. 

"Yes, but more so I know who your father is." I didn't care to talk about my father.

"But do you know me?" I asked, because I am not my father.

"I worked for your father briefly two years ago." Slick of her to not answer. Wait, she did what?

"What do you mean?" I was eager to know what she meant when she said worked for my father.

"When I bought my accounting firm, your father was one of the clients of the previous owner. Upon completing my review of his account his numbers didn't add up. When I brought it to his attention, he knew about it and wanted me to engage in illegal accounting practices, but I refused. I let him go but that came with consequences as he left with two of our biggest clients." She carefully detailed her explanation.

"So, you're the famous A Plus Accounting firm that rejected my father? He was furious about this for months, I heard." I couldn't help but laugh. She sure did fix him right.

 "Are you rejecting me because of who my father is?" Is that what she was doing?

"Derick, I can't be with you knowing who you are."  That's exactly what she was doing. I knew it.

" You're judging me based on the sins of my father. You know my father, but do you know me?" I wanted her to see me for me.

"Derick." she could tell I was upset.

"I'm not my father and I will never be. I despise what he does more than anyone else. I'm in no way associated with him. Everything I have I built from my own efforts." I was furious that my father was ruining my life. 

"Does it matter Derick? You're his son." Those words pierced my heart like a spear.

I couldn't sit and listen to her anymore. She couldn't see me past my father. It's like she couldn't see me at all. I couldn't take it any longer. I wanted to lash out at something. I need to transfer that rage into something. I need to punch a wall.

"Derick I'm sorry." She sounded distressed and touched me.

I didn't want her to touch me. I didn't want her to see me like this. I shifted my shoulder away from her hand.

"It does matter. I know nothing about you but yet I'm falling for you. I want to get to know you inside and out.  I don't care who you are, or what you do." My heart was aching, and my tears could no longer be contained.

I can't stay here any longer. I touched her one last time. Caressing her cheek with my thumb. Bye Tanya.

"Derick." I could hear her calling me, but I didn't want to stay.  

"Derick please" The pain in her voice intensified the pain in my heart. I just had to leave. 

The drive home was excruciating. I couldn't fathom why she couldn't see my point. She is comparing me to a monster. The man who murdered my mother.