THE RULES OF FAME

Chapter 12 - Turmoil

Vanessa Louvier

The date with Tate was pleasant; he kissed me, and it would have been a nice kiss if I had been into it. I tried, I swear to God, I did… but I just couldn't erase the lingering feeling of Peyton's lips on mine, the sweet taste of them, and the bitter aftermath when he turned around and left me there standing in the middle of the street, while my heart was being shattered.

GOD! I am a masochist! Peyton left me; he chose to leave me behind. I had grieved that relationship for over five years. It is about time for me to move forward. Tate is a fine man, handsome, smart, with a promising career; he is not the usual guy you find around in the industry. He is respectful, and he does not have random hook-ups. He never crosses professional lines. Well, only now is he crossing a line with me, but that must mean he is truly interested.

I should have been over Peyton Bell a while ago, but when Tate pressed his lips against mine, it felt… wrong. It was not Tate, it was me… and the realization of the feelings that I had buried deep down scared the s**t out of me.

It scared me so much that I was not able to voice those feelings out… I was afraid they would be like Beetlejuice; if I said it out loud, they would pop right in my face. But I will try to resolve them… I promised Tate I would try… God! I hope it was that easy!

I closed my eyes, and in my mind I chastised myself, “Peyton chose Shanty, he is over you… You should move on too.”

“Vanessa, you have a late call today,” Lorna said, and I nodded. “You seem far away," she pointed out. Lorna was my personal assistant, but she has also become a trustworthy friend.

“I am back in New York, five years back, wishing things had been different,” I mumbled, and she sighed.

“You are all over the internet…” she smiled, and I squinted my eyebrows.

“You know I don't read the gossip mill…” I mumbled, and she turned around her tablet.

“Not even this?” She showed me all the articles that talked about me and Tate. One of them with real photos of our date night.

I gasped, and then a knock on my trailer door broke my shock. Lorna rushed out to open the door.

“Mr. Porter,” she said,

“Is Nessa here?” Tate's velvety voice filled the trailer,

“Let him in,” I sighed, and he slowly walked into my trailer. Even when I had a late shooting call, I decided to be in the studio rehearsing my lines. I just couldn't concentrate at home, and decided that the studio would be a better place for it. Unfortunately, there was not enough space on this Earth where I could run and hide from my feelings, the turmoil inside my heart, and the media. Oh! And now Tate!

“Hey,” he locked eyes with me, and I sighed,

“Hey,” I replied,

“I thought you had a late call today,” he said, and I nodded.

“I couldn't concentrate at home… so I decided to come here early,” I sighed, and he nodded.

“How are you?” he asked, and I locked my eyes with his,

“If you mean to ask if I have seen the tabloids, I have… a minute ago,” I took a shivering breath.

“I know you are still torn about all this, but it is a good thing… people will now know you are with me now…” he smiled, and I had no idea how to react to that. Was I with him now? I was not so sure about it…

“Although we haven't made anything official between us… So, this must stay in the gossip mill until it happens.” I sighed, and he nodded.

“But you promised to try,” he said, and I nodded.

“I am trying,” I gave him a defeated smile, and he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arm around me, tucking me into his side. He felt warm, easy, and comfortable.

“Vanessa, I am not known for being a player… I don't cross lines, but with you, it seemed inevitable…” he kissed my temple.

“You deserve a complete woman, not a broken one,” I mumbled, and he chuckled.

“I don't want anyone else… Vanessa, so be prepared for me to fight against that ghost of your past,” he said, and I trembled. His words landed on me like a promise.

“Aren't you on call?” I asked, and he nodded.

“The director gave us a break…” he shrugged,

He caressed my cheek tenderly and smiled. “Deep breaths, Nessa, we are both public figures, and the media will always be around… but it is our life, and we decide what we feed them,” Tate said, and I nodded.

“If you feel better, we can prepare a statement that says it was just a friendly dinner between co-stars…” he paused, “Or one that confirms that we are in a relationship…” he said,

“But we are not. I mean, who gets involved in a relationship after just one date?” I said, and he chuckled.

“Someone who could not resist my charms,” he said, and I squinted my eyebrows. Somehow, I knew he was playing, joking, but he made it sound so real that it was confusing.

“Can we keep it casual?” I blurted, and he looked at me with raised eyebrows.

“What?” His eyes sparkled, and I soon realized that it could have been misinterpreted as if I wanted to have a casual s****l relationship with him.

“I mean, like this, comfortable, friends getting to know each other, trying to find out if there is a spark.” I quickly rushed a series of explanations, and he nodded.

“Yes, darling… we can do that,” he said, and I sighed.

Someone knocked on my trailer again; this time, the voice outside was of Josh, Tate's assistant. “Tate, you are being called!” he said, and Tate kissed my forehead.

“I'll be seeing you around, beautiful,” he smiled, and I nodded,

Lorna stepped out of the bedroom and into the sitting room of the trailer. “That was something,” she said, and I took a deep breath.

“Am I crazy?” I mumbled, and she laughed.

“Maybe?” she laughed, “I mean that was Tate Porter asking you to be his formal girl…” she said in a sing-song voice full of mischief.

“I know!” I giggled, “But somehow deep down it feels…” I paused, and she rolled her eyes.

“Vanessa, I was hired to be your assistant, but I also look at you as a friend. We spend more time together than apart, so I am going to give you some tough love…” she warned me, and I nodded.

“Peyton Bell is not coming back to you. He is with Shanty; he chose Shanty. It's been five years, and not once has he tried to reach out or make a grand gesture to come to get you back. You are just wasting your time with someone who doesn't deserve you…” She said, and her words were harsh and cut a bit deep in my heart, but she was not wrong.

Peyton had preferred his company over mine. He preferred his work over me, he chose Shanty over me, he has moved on…

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears run down my cheeks, and she rushed to sit beside me, and just like Tate, she held me, but this time, I leaned onto her shoulder to cry. Bitter tears, the ones that spilled when I was overwhelmed from missing him, from loving someone who will never love me back.

“Oh, Honey! Was I too tough?” Lorna said with pity.

“No, just the right amount for me to snap out of my stupidity…” I wiped my tears.

“You have grieved long enough… Peyton is back there, while Tate is here…” she said, and I took a deep breath.

“I know. Don't you think I know? My rational side tells me he is a good one, a good man, a steady choice, one who understands my world… he is attentive, smart, talented, and handsome. I mean, there is a Most Handsome Man Alive cover that validates that statement for f***s sake…” I rambled and she laughed.

“That shirtless photo…” she fawned over it, and I rolled my eyes.

“But my heart… that is a different story.” I sighed, and she nodded.

“Why don't you give it a try? You have a couple of days until this is a wrap-up, and then you will be in Paris, or was it Ireland? Nevermind. You will be on your new project,” she said,

“Maybe allowing him to be there without being physically there is what you need to get the time and clear your head to get yourself together, and get to know him better,” Lorna suggested.

“Maybe…” I sighed, “I just don't like being in this turmoil…” I mumbled, and she nodded. Little did I know that this was the calm before the tempest. The real storm was about to hit.