THE RULES OF FAME

Chpater 18 - Never Again

Vanessa Louvier

It was intense, so f*****g intense. It hurt just the first time. After that, he took me to the bath, and soothed me by soaking in warm water with me. I leaned my back into his chest and sighed. This was how it was meant to be. I never saw myself being intimate with anyone but him, and I don't want to be with anyone else.

Then, the image of Tate pierced my mind, and I felt horrible guilt. Tate has offered me a stable relationship, one I haven't accepted, and after tonight, I don't think I could.

Peyton's arms wrapped around me, keeping me close to his chest.

“Did I hurt you?” he whispered into my ear, making me tremble.

God! How much I have missed him. I don´t think I ever got over him, and I don't think I ever will, because he is the man I have always loved.

Now, I realize that our love was not a high school sweetheart thing; it was not a moment, but a love meant to last a lifetime.

“Peyton?” I looked up, and he kissed my temple.

“Ness?” He whispered my name, making me forget what I wanted to say. And suddenly my mind recovered, and I remembered that we must talk…

“We should talk,” I mumbled, and he kissed my temple.

“Yes, we should…” he said, and I was surprised at how mature and how certain he sounded. Also, the way he was willing to do whatever I needed was so grounding, so real. He was here, but for how long? How long can we keep this up? Is the distance going to be an issue again? Is he here to stay? Am I going to stay in London? Go back to America? If so, am I going to settle in New York? But LA is where most of the acting opportunities are… so how are we going to handle our career demands?

“Ness…” he said in a sweet, soft voice, a voice that felt like home. “I am sorry for the way I acted five years ago, for letting you go that easily, for being so blinded by work, fame, making it,” he sighed, and I smiled… Peyton still had this boyish heart of gold—a heart that should be guarded and protected, a heart that deserved the world. A heart only I have had the privilege to see.

“I should have told you sooner, we should have made time to be there for each other…” I said, and he nodded.

“We were also younger and immature…” I said, and he chuckled.

“Yeah, you can say that…” he kissed my shoulder, and his hands slipped down my body.

“Vanessa Louvier, I never stopped loving you… Not even an entire ocean could have made me forget about you,” He kissed my neck, and I tilted my head back. He was right, not even being on a different continent made us forget about each other. My love for him had been shoved to the deepest corners of my heart because it hurt not to be close to him, but now that he is here, that love has suddenly doubled.

“Tell me you are mine, Ness… because I am ready to start a life with you,” his hands moved down and caressed my core under the warm water of the tub.

I whimpered and sighed, “Only yours, Peyton.”

“You didn´t answer me. Did I hurt you?” he slipped one of his fingers between my legs, and I trembled.

“A little, but the bath helped,” I moaned, and he smiled. Not a soft smile, but a devilish one that told me what was crossing his mind.

“Are you ready for round two?” he grunted, and I sighed.

“I am ready for you, have always been waiting,” I said, and he picked me up and turned me around to straddle his hips.

“You are in charge, beautiful…” he sighed, and I bit my lower lip and nodded.

“I have no idea what to do,” I mumbled, and he smiled.

“Follow your instincts and touch me,” he said. He moved my hand to grab his hard member, and I gasped.

“I don't want to hurt you,” I mumbled, and he shook his head.

“There is no way you could hurt me… only if you leave me, that would not only hurt me, but kill me,” he said, and I bit my lower lip.

I stroked him twice and then lowered myself onto him, impaling myself and taking him deep. He grunted and wrapped his arms around my waist. “We are one,” he said, and I bit my lower lip.

Yes, we have become one, but this was not only intimacy, but it also was not regular s*x; it was lovemaking, it was a deeper connection, something was bottled up, and it was a car crash waiting to happen.

“I love you, Vanessa,” he said, tilting his hips up and burying himself deeper.

“I love you, Peyton,” I replied, and rocked my hips over him.

“I am not going to last,” he grunted, and I did that again. I loved how powerful it made me feel to have this sort of control over him. To know that he had surrendered to me, and that inevitably, he is mine.

He grunted, and I felt him spasm inside me, while I moaned loudly, getting my release as well. He kissed my lips and sighed. “I am never letting you go,” he said, and I wrapped my arms around him,

“I am holding you to it,” I said, and he pulled me into his chest.

“I am sorry for all the wasted time,” he said, and for the first time, I felt back at home. I was in London, physically I was away from my family, but deep in my heart, in his arms, it was home.

I have dreamed of a moment like this, waiting for some miracle to happen. It took us five years, and now here we are, together.

He pulled away from me and took me to the shower. We were covered in soap suds, and he took care of me, rinsing my body. He wrapped me in a soft towel, picked me up, and took me to my bed. He lay me down, and then he lay next to me, cuddling me into his body.

“Have some sleep…” he said, and I sighed.

“Pey?” I took a deep breath, half awake, half asleep… “Don´t leave me,” I said, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“Never again,” he kissed my temple, and with that promise, I closed my eyes.

Everything felt like a dream, and in my dreams, things were not as good as they were in reality. When I woke up, I looked around, realizing that the bed was empty. He left me, or was it all a dream?

I kept looking around, then when I saw my naked body under a robe, I understood that it hadn't been a dream, yet he was not here, even when he said that he would never leave me again.

Tears ran down my cheeks.

The door bursts open, “Breakfast in bed, sounds amazing, right?” he smirked, and his smile completely faded when he saw the tears in my eyes.

He placed the tray on the nightstand and sat beside me. “What's wrong?”

“You left me,” I mumbled, and he wrapped his arms around me.

“No, I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, unless you say otherwise, I´ll stay right here,” he said, and I nodded.

“What are we doing?” I mumbled, realizing we would need a miracle for us to work out.

“I don´t know, but…” he stopped and he knelt before the bed, “Vanessa Louvier, you are the love of my life, and I am not willing to lose you again, I am here to stay, and I hope you want to stay with me until death do us part… Would you marry me?” he said, and I gasped.

All my insecurities and fears faded away instantly, but it sounded so silly, so ridiculous, that instead of giving him an answer, I giggled nervously.

“I am being serious…” he reached for the tray, and retrieved a black box…

“Marry me, Ness… let's promise each other forever…” he opened it, revealing a beautiful diamond ring.

I wanted to say yes, right then and there, but my brain couldn't work out how we would make this work… I took a deep breath, once, then twice. His eyes hardened a little, and I realized he had put his heart on the line, and now he was building walls preventing the impact.

“I am not saying NO…” I panicked.

“But you are not saying YES either,” Peyton knew me so well.

“We just need to figure out how we are going to make it work,” I said, and he nodded.

“We will…” he said, patting my knee, and sitting on the bed.

“Aren't you going to put the ring on my finger?” I asked, and he looked at me.

“You didn't say yes,” he said, and I smiled.

“Oh! My bad…” I extended my hand, “Yes, Peyton, I will marry you…” I said, and the glow in his eyes came back immediately.

“I love you,” he said, kissing me.