Chapter 3 - Hypnosis Sucks
1270 Words
My eyes are closed and the soft lull of rainforest sounds swim in my head. I can feel all my anxiety drifting away. There has always been something comforting about rainforest sounds that washes everything away, leaving only peace and tranquility.
Dr Whittaker tried so many other types of meditation music with me but whales, waterfalls and birds made me anxious, hungry or busting to use the toilet.
"As I count back from ten, you will feel your eyelids getting heavier. You will be surrounded by a warm blanket of security. When I reach one, you will be in a deep sleep." I concentrated on my breathing, feeling each deep breath in and the relief in each exhale.
"Ten, nine, eight .... breathing in the positivity. Breathing out the negativity." Her voice was soothing, washing over me in calming waves.
"Seven, six .... Heavier and heavier ...five. You feel safer with each breath in, breathing out the fear." I could feel a smile creep across my face as warmth and security embraced me.
"Four, three ..... Calmer and safer. Two .... Heavier and deeper .... One. You are now in a deep sleep, warm and safe."
This feeling right here. This feeling of total relaxation and security, is the highlight of my week. I'm free from the constant fear I'll shift into a giant black cat in front of anyone. Free from the constant need to look over my shoulder waiting for someone in my past to finish off the job. Free from everything.
"You are warm and safe. No one can hurt you." Dr Whittaker's voice softens and becomes a part of the rainforest. Her words guiding me while continually reassuring me.
"It is the morning of your accident" her voice transporting me back in time.
"I'm in a cage. The floor is cold."
"Look around the room, do you see anything or anyone else?"
I slowly look around. The darkness around me lifts up like a fog and everything becomes clear. "I'm in some kind of concrete room, locked in a big metal cage. I can see a door and shadows moving across the light around it."
"Is there anything else you can see or hear?"
"No. The room is bare. Wait. I can hear footsteps. They're getting louder. No! No! No!" I scream as the footsteps get louder and closer to the door. I can feel the thud of my heartbeat trying to escape my chest. I shuffle backwards along the floor as fast as I can until the cold metal bars block my escape.
"You are safe and secure. No one can hurt you" Dr Whittaker reminds me. Her voice calming the thumping in my chest. "Breathing in safety, breathing out fear."
"Four men just came in," I inform the Doctor "and they are really big."
"Looking at each one, I want you to describe them to me."
"They're all the same. Really tall, really wide and really muscled." Their faces were dark featureless blobs. The harder I tried to focus on their faces, the more I realised that I couldn't even make out a nose.
"They have no faces." As strange as that sounded, I felt no fear. The four men moved around the room and then began unlocking the metal hinged gates at the front of my cage.
"You are safe, they cannot hurt you " came the doctor's voice from somewhere in the room.
"They have ropes. They're coming for me! NO! Don't blind me!" I screamed as the four men surrounded me, two of them tying up my hands and feet, while the other two held me down and wrapped a black cloth over my eyes. I thrashed and struggled against the restraints, even using my teeth to fight away their hands. A high pitched squeal echoed around the room as my teeth sunk into the fleshy meat of one of the men's hand.
"You will wake safely and free of fear once I click my fingers." The voice seemed distant and I tried to focus on where it came from but the men kept grabbing me.
Snap.
My eyes sprung open and darted around the room, assessing the danger. My arms were flailing wildly around me. A grey haired woman was reaching for me with both arms, so I struck out at her to protect myself.
"Katarina, you are safe. I'm not going to hurt you."
The voice was familiar. The same voice that echoed through the dark cage room.
It was closer now.
Safer.
My racing heart started to slow as the sounds of the rainforest reached my ears. The room came back into focus and the realisation of where I was hit me, I looked up at Dr Whittaker. Her eyes were wide and three red lines ran down the side of her face. Oh no, I'd scratched her.
I'm so sorry Dr Whittaker, I didn't mean to hurt you." I sat upright on the beanbag and lowered my eyes in shame. I can't believe I did it again. This time was worse than the glowing red cheek I'd slapped last week. The guilt washed over me like bright red paint, colouring my usually pale skin.
"Don't you worry about me, Katarina, I'm more concerned with you." She rose from her seat and headed towards the intercom on the wall. "Alice, can you bring Miss Lawson a bottle of orange juice please."
"Yes Doctor, right away." The perky blonde's voice crackled through the speaker.
Dr Whittaker headed back to her beanbag seat, gracefully lowering herself back into position. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay, I guess." I sighed in both relief and frustration, "we didn't get very far. I'm still stuck in that room."
"On the contrary, my dear. The cage door is now open and we have four male figures associated with your imprisonment." She reassured me.
A gentle tap on the door followed by creaking hinges announced the perky blonde's arrival. She walked straight up to me, hand with orange juice bottle extended. I grabbed the juice and started gulping it down, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth before thanking her for the drink. With a smile and a twirl, she headed back to the reception desk, closing the door behind her.
"This week, Katarina, I want you to remove the blackness from the face of one of those men. Try concentrating on the man that came through the door first. Use the techniques I've shown you and use baby steps. It could set you back even further if you try too much too soon." I could hear the concern in her voice and promised I wouldn't push it too much.
The concrete room flashed through my mind as I stepped out of the cold, steel lift and into the hospital foyer. I barely made it two steps before a pixie like creature dressed in a purple tutu, with polka dot tights and commando boots came leaping across the room, wrapping her arms tightly around me in some over exaggerated attempt at a bear hug.
"Hey babe, how'd it go?" Amyleigh released her bear grip. "Have all your memories come flooding back yet. Do you remember any hot guys you could set me up with?"
I laughed at her brazen attempt to lighten the mood. Amyleigh always had that effect on me. She had this uncanny ability to detract the intensity or any anxiety I may be feeling at just the right time.
"Not yet, but I'll keep posted." I laughed. Amyleigh linked her arm in mine and we trotted off to her car.
- Writer
