Fire sparks

Ch. 3 Hard Lines and Flutters

Hades turned out to be an excellent bodyguard. He took his duties very, very seriously, though he did refuse to carry a sword, claiming the only weapons he needed were his own hands. 

Braxis and Galen were oddly submissive to him. Without any direction, or even an informal conversation amongst themselves, they’d fallen into regular roles. Hades was always right by side, while the other two flanked further out checking for trouble. Even in my home Hades took it upon himself to closely monitor the interior, constantly moving from the front door to the balcony, while Braxis and Galen patrolled the outer perimeter.

Now that I approved of his presence, it quickly became evident that he was as notorious as I was, if not more so… and unquestionably more terrifying. With him by side, no longer watching from the shadows, the beasts kept their distance. I was curious how I'd never heard of him, and more curious what he'd done to earn such fear. I considered asking at a few points, but ultimately decided I didn't want to know. 

In the first week of Hades on duty, only one fool made the mistake of threatening me. The encounter was the first glimpse of how justified everyone's fear of Hades was. 

The monster found himself in a position too tempting to pass up when I rounded a cavern wall, nearly bumping into him. The creature walked upright, but he was far from human; a shell of mud-brown scales, thick, barbed tail, and beady eyes were proof enough of that. A reptilian tongue flickered between too many rows of jagged teeth as he hissed a steady stream of obscenities, not paying Hades or the two High Fae guards any mind. Hades even stepped away with amused curiosity in his eyes as appraised the demon.

When the beast's threats turned into vulgar demands all three of my guards stiffened.

Braxis and Galen were ready to pounce, but I halted them, interested to see what my new guard would do. One subtle sideways look to Hades, and the beast's arms were swiftly torn from his body. He moved so quickly, it wasn’t until the mangled body fell to the ground, dark green blood sputtering and pooling around him, that I realized what happened. 

I quirked a curious brow at Hades, who tossed one of the arms on top of the convulsing figure and nonchalantly saluted me with the other. “All clear, my queen.”

I rolled my eyes, trying to hide how much I enjoyed the emphasis he placed on 'my.' "Okay, don't love the possessiveness." He chuckled likely seeing through my thinly vailed fib. The twinkle in his eye told me he was definitely going to exclusively address me as his queen from then on. I placed two fingers in mouth, whistling loudly for the gargoyles. They swooped down, mindful to land out of Hades reach, briefly thanked me for the meal, and carried the dismantled body far away. 

Stepping over the puddle of blood, I looked out to find a small audience quickly dispersing. "You know, Hades, I need people to put on the pedestal. If you just kill everyone at the smallest offense, I'll have no one to star in my show."

Braxis and Galen grunted their agreements, but bowed their heads when Hades eyes sliced to them in warning. "And be nice to Braxis and Galen..." A wicked smile spread across my face. His attention shot back to me, quickly noting my cruel tone, and begged me not to add- "They've certainly been nice to me." Braxis and Galen suddenly found the puddle of blood very interesting, studying it with unbreakable intensity as they ignored everything that happened next.

A guttural growl ricocheted through the cavern. With shocking speed he grabbed my shoulders and pinned me against the cavern wall. "That. Ends. Now." Despite the anger that rolled off him, his firm grip was surprisingly gentle. 

"I suppose you think yourself my keeper now?" My eyes glowed, flaring in defiant challenge. "I will do what I want with whom I want. Don't get pissy because you aren't what I want." A lie, of course. A big, fat lie. The shift in his energy and twitch of his lips told me he knew it, too. 

I held my breath as he lowered his face to mine, lightly brushing his nose along my cheekbone. "I can taste your lies, my queen. Who are you trying to convince? Me... or yourself?" I swallowed. Hard. His hands loosened enough to run a thumb along my collar bone. "We both know I'm exactly what you want."

He was breaking down my resolve too quickly. This shouldn't happen anywhere, but it certainly couldn't happen so publicly. I had to end it. But... with him so close... touching me... I couldn't focus my mind enough to figure out how. It was through my panic that I gritted my teeth and said the meanest thing I could think of. "You were child's play, a waste of time, a disappointment compared to two High Fae warriors. One of you doesn't hold a candle to two of-"

Another deep growl rumbled from his chest as he pounded a fist into the cavern wall, effectively ending my hateful, dishonest speech. Dirt loosened, misting down onto us. He swatted a large rock as it tumbled for my head as if it was merely a pesky insect. Why I thought provoking him further would put an end to the battle of wills was beyond me. 

"Your lies are going to get your guards killed. If you want them alive I suggest you stop talking." His voice was deep, animalistic. "And, you and them? That will not be happening again." Shadows danced across his face as the light from a nearby torch flickered in the wake of his words. 

I lifted my hands to his chest, placing them lightly, somewhat suggestively, against the firm, marble muscles. "If you want to remain near enough to ensure that doesn't happen again, then I suggest you keep your hands to yourself." I planted my palms and shoved against him. If he could taste my lies, then he knew this was not one of them. My power I had over Hades was not physical, it was emotional; proven as my words more than my hands pushed him away.

I could almost feel the invisible wall I'd built solidifying between us. I'd allowed him to be my guard, but he would be nothing more. If he craved to be near me as much as I did him, then he had to respect the boundaries I put in place. He had some inclining of how I felt about him, but he also knew I was stubborn enough to deny us both what we wanted if he couldn't control himself. 

So, he fell into a seemingly permanent silence save for when I directly consulted him. He remained constantly by my side, but was careful to never cross the firm line I'd drawn between us. 

The following week, another beast dared to enter my personal space. It wasn't out of any mercy for the beast that I quickly to hushed his threats- effectively saving him from a fate he most definitely deserved. No, I stopped the creature to save myself from having to ask anything of Hades.

This is what you hired him for. You should let the man work... It was true. Eventually I'd have to let him do his damn job, or else I'd have no real reason to keep him around. And, while his methods were questionable, I appreciated the peace of mind he offered. Besides, it'd been thrilling to see how effectively he'd ended the first monster. 

Between him and the two High Fae guards, I slept like a baby every night, not a care in the realm causing me to wake. 

The only thing ruining my otherwise peaceful existence- besides being held captive in hell’s dungeon- was a chronic illness I’d developed. For the last two months I’d woken up violently ill. The sickness always passed by midday, but every morning I was completely down and out for the count.

There wasn’t nearly enough food to go around the Dark Place, and the little that was available was hardly passible as actual food. King Charming, through all his generosity, sent a supply drop every few months but the expired canned goods, shriveled up rice and beans, and moldy dried meats were an inadequate slap in the face.

It was no surprise that I was so sick. I ate my one meal of spoiled food every night, just to empty my guts in the morning. I was beginning to worry my people thought they had a lazy queen who preferred to sleep over ruling a kingdom. Hades broke his vow of professionalism to laugh when I expressed my concern over my image, but quickly developed a cover story that I was plotting an elaborate construction project that took up my mornings. I wasn’t sure what I’d do once enough time had passed and people expected to break ground, but for the time being I was grateful for the lie. 

It was in those mornings of horrid vomiting that I became particularly grateful for the four clever residents who had engineered running water to my home high on this cliff's edge. If I had to constantly dispose of puke in addition to my normal human waste I would have had to have moved. 

I rested my head against the cool granite floor beside the matching latrine, once again so ill that I’d temporarily forgotten to care about germs. The smell of stale piss hit my nose, causing me to wretch and remember I couldn't afford to pick up any additional bacteria. With a grunt and a sigh, I pushed my back against the wall, tilting my head up in silent prayer to the granite gods the worst of it was over for the day. 

When I found the heat from the torch above to be welcome instead of offensive, I knew my prayer had been answered. I placed a gentle hand on my stomach, rubbing a small circle to calm the last of the rumbles when a flutter sent my heart into a hammering panic.

Ummm… what the f**k was that. I rubbed another circle, willing the flutter to be just a muscle spasm from excessive heaving. But another small flutter, lower than ever should be from a vomiting spell, tickled against the inside of my stomach.

No. It isn’t. It can’t be. I quickly counted through the days since my last menstrual cycle. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I’m malnourished and stressed… yeah, that… that’s it. Right? I stood in front of the dingy mirror and looked at myself. For someone who ate so little and threw up even more, I was looking a little plump. My face, arms, legs, and even waistline were far too small, but my breasts were ever so slightly swollen and there, at the base of my belly, was a precious little bump. 

Dysentery, please, please be dysentery... Under different circumstances I may have laughed at myself for hoping for something so nasty... but now it was a preferable alternative. In shock and disbelief, I glided my hand to the bump. Instantly something rippled beneath my skin.

I didn't register the ear piecing scream that followed as my own. My breath came too quickly and my vision began to blur. I dared to look back into the mirror, the edges usually murky from dust were even less clear through my panic. My knees buckled and was once more on the floor.

Hades, who had been standing outside of my front door keeping watch, burst into the room to find me curled on the floor hugging my knees to my chest. The thunder of footsteps told me the other two guards were only moments behind him.

I must have looked horrible, because Hades didn't take a breath to consider before breaking his vow of silence. “Maeve? What the hell?!” He turned away quickly, barking at Galen and Braxis as he marched from my from my room to search the house. Shattering and slamming echoed loudly as the three massive men moved like bulls in a china shop through the small ‘castle’ looking for whatever had upset me so deeply. A few minutes later Hades returned and kneeled by my side.

“What happened? What’s wrong?” I couldn’t form any words to answer his question. This was the worst possible thing to happen. I could barely survive in the Dark Place. How the hell was I supposed to raise a child here? They would live every day looking over their shoulder. They wouldn’t get to see the sun or run or play like a normal child. They would never get to go to school. The demons would eat them alive. 

My breathing quickened until my vision went black. When Hades realized I wasn’t going to answer his questions, he tiptoed closer to the line I'd forced him to stay far on the other side of, lightly scooped me from the ground and carrying me to my bed. He pulled the covers over my trembling body before crouching by the bedside and lightly brushing my matted hair from my face. A loud crash from the kitchen told me my other two numbskull guards were still on the hunt for the nonexistent intruder.

Hades yelled to them but didn’t take his eyes off of me. “Go back to your posts outside. Everything is fine.” He was so pretty to look at. I could feel my breath calming as I focused on tracing the sharp lines of his face with my eyes. 

There was a desperation in his voice. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong…” His words only sent me spiraling again. He let out a frustrated breath, assuming my silence was an intended to push him back to his side of the emotional barrier. He shook his head, stood, and turned to walk away. My hand acted on its on, shooting from beneath the thin blanket to grab his. 

I’d been so careful not to touch him; so careful to keep him just past an arm's length; so stubborn on maintaining the very distinct and firm line I'd drawn between us. But in that moment professionalism and emotional self-preservation were the farthest things from my mind. 

I could let the line fade, if only for a moment. I just needed to be held. It didn’t have to mean anything. I could rebuild the wall between us later... I tugged at his hand to pull him closer. His brows knitted as his eyes moved from our hands to my eyes. 

“Maeve…” His voice was thick, but so incredibly gentle that my breathing slowed slightly.

“Please… please just stay.” His eyes softened, but worry still coated every millimeter of the beautiful black mirrors. He studied my face, searching for any sign that this may be a test.

Carefully, he sat at the edge on my bed. He continued to look for any apprehension as ran his hands soothingly up and down my arm. I pulled his hand again, silently pleading. 

"Are... are you sure?" I couldn't move my head, couldn't speak, but he must have found an answer in my eyes. He held my eye contact, waiting for me to change my mind, as he laid down next to me. I stared at him, trying to keep my mind from anything but the horrible reality I was facing. But... how could I think of anything other than the life growing inside of me. 

How would I protect this child? Just being a child would be dangerous enough, but being my child would surely be a death sentence. Anything I cared for would be a weapon to be used against me. I’d condemned my own child twice before they were even born; first, when I became bound to this place and second, when I took over as ruler. 

I wasn’t sure what the gestation period for a baby dragon was, but since I was already feeling the flutters and showing- even despite considerable malnourishment-, I could only assume I’d have far too little time to prepare for the child. 

When my breathing turned to hyperventilation, Hades didn't look for permission before wrapping both of his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. 

Despite my panic, I couldn't help but notice his cinnamon and coal scent. It was intoxicating and calming. I counted out the seconds as his fingers tips moved gently up, 1... 2... 3..., and back down, 1... 2... 3,  my spine. I let me breathing fall into pace with his. He rolled us both until he was on his back and I was laying on his stomach. I rested my head on his chest and listened for his heartbeat, hoping my body would fall in rhythm with that, too. But... there was nothing.

Oh my god, he died. My head jolted up to find him very much alive, appearing just the way he had for the last few minutes: confused, careful, worried, handsome. I bent my head back down and listened again. Nothing. I waited, counting to sixty. Nothing. Interesting. I pushed my arms against his shoulders, propping myself high enough to look into his eyes. “You have no heart.”

He dryly scoffed before sarcastically saying, “Ouch, Maeve." When I didn’t say anything back his eyebrows raised. “I have a heart, it just doesn't beat.”

He looked at me like this shouldn’t be news. I didn’t speak. I had no words. I already had entirely too much on my mind to tackle this. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”

"What? I’ve known you for months, but I don’t usually go around assuming people do or don’t have hearts.”

“But you haven’t heard of me… before?” He wasn't being arrogant, that much was clear. He genuinely felt that I would have heard of him.

“Should I have?” His face told me I should have.

“You’ve never wondered why everyone avoids me?”

“Because you’re a big, brooding asshole?”

“What? No… well yeah, I guess so, but no.” He continued to look at me like realization would hit me at any moment. When enough silence passed, he sighed and explained.

“I’m... hmm, how do I explain this? Normally people just know my story... Okay, well this isn't the first hell that I've lived in.” My brows pinched together.

"So then you are dead... that's why you don't have a heart?" Amazing, I've f****d a zombie. Good going, Maeve. 

"No, I'm not dead. I wasn't in hell like that. I was... put there... to work... as ruler... of the underworld." Of all the lies I'd been told, this took the cake. I only had a vague understanding of major stories regarding the gods, but never paid close attention to the workings of those omnipotent beings. They were far too dramatic, even by my standards. I knew enough to know the underworld was run by some god, though, making his claim not only false, but also wildly offensive if he thought I'd believe such bullshit. Hades face was blank, but I could see how his eyes waited to measure my reaction. 

"Wow. Very impressive. And tell me, Mr. Ruler of the Underworld, how is it you find yourself trapped in my lovely kingdom this fine millennia?" 

"My siblings... they... they don't care for me. I wasn't there by my own choice as it were, but I made the most of a bad situation. I suppose they weren't pleased that I'd fallen into a sort of contentment with my position, so they agreed to hear King Charming out on his proposal for this worse hell, one I'd have no control over, and stuck me in it." I had to give him credit, considering the boldness of his lie, he showed no outward signs of dishonesty. He'd been as excellent a gambler as he was a bodyguard.

“Ha ha. Very funny-” truths began snapping into place like puzzle pieces. His notoriety, that ancient aura about him, that deepest fear he instilled, the inhuman strength, those eyes, that marble skin... I’d thought he looked like a god, but I never imagined him to actually be one. “Y-you... You aren’t kidding. Oh my… god? Can I say that? Is that rude? B-b-but then why are you… I mean how are you… you’re here. Why? How?”

“Pretty much just gave you the cliff notes, but thanks for listening." His words were light, slightly humorous, no doubt trying to downplay the magnitude of what he had explained.

Questions raced through my mind, I tried to hold on to one enough long enough to ask it aloud. "No heartbeat... but you breathe."

If I didn't know better, I could have sworn he blushed. "Well... I don't... really... have to." His words were always so smooth, it was odd to watch him fumble through the explanation. "I can breathe, obviously. But I... I was doing it for you... I know you mortals sometimes feed off of each other's energy, sooo I just thought... maybe... it would help?" 

Oh. I had listened to his breathing and it had helped. It was my turn to blush. I wasn't sure why, but the question kept repeating itself in my head. So much so that I repeated it aloud, again. “No heartbeat?” 

I could feel the perplexity on my face, but he must have misunderstood the expression because he started to say, “That doesn’t mean I can’t-”

His words were interrupted by a sharp movement within my stomach. This time the the flutter, was more pronounced, more distinct, undeniably alive. His eyes flickered down to where our bodies were still pressed together, before snapping back to meet mine. Emotions flashed across his face so quickly, it was a miracle I understood even half of them. 

He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. “I think you should leave.” I turned away, unable to bare the judgement that I'd surely find in his eyes.

His hand brushed against my cheek, lightly urging me to look at him. There was concern, possibly even fear, but no judgement.

“No.” His response was a whisper, but firm. I tried to roll away, only for his grip to tighten, effectively holding me in place. “Maeve, stop. You’re going to be okay… I’ll help you get rid of it… we’ll… we’ll-”

This time I was successful when I ripped myself from his grasp. “Get rid of it?! Are you f*****g insane?”

His voice lowered even further, but softened. “You can’t keep it… think about what the monsters will do to it.”

I stood from the bed, squaring my shoulders, and held my chin high. I should have known better than to let him past my wall. Men were all the same: destructive, manipulative, controlling. I was right in assuming Hades would be no different. I'd learned my lesson before and I wouldn't be making that mistake again. Not today, not ever. 

My words were confident and sharp. “That is my burden to bear. You are dismissed.” 

His usually honey smooth voice became strained when he asked, “Do you even know what it is?” The real, underlying question took a minute to hit me, but when it did it hurt. 

And there's that judgement... I expected as much. Hell, I judged myself for just how many possibilities there were. I’d slept with so many monsters the child could be any number of things. But that didn’t matter. What it was wouldn’t change anything. I was terrified and I knew it was a huge responsibility and a massive risk, but this baby was a beacon of hope; it was proof that life does go on, even here. No one was going to take it away from me.

Especially not Hades. “Go.” I'd redrawn the line, bold and firm.

He reached for my hand, but I yanked it away. He sighed and fell back into the bed. “You’re not doing this alone, Maeve. Don’t be stupid. Whatever you want to do, I’ll help. But you’re going to have to toughen the little fucker up. And no one, no one, can ever know that you like the beast, let alone love it.” I didn’t appreciate his tone, but his words were true and the offer to help was sincere. Something told me he'd be sticking around whether I allowed it or not. That only annoyed me further.

My face must have said at much, because he swiveled his legs to reach the floor as he sat upright. This time, his hands moved too quickly, grasping my own before I could pull away. He seemed determined to not only ignore my line, but erase it altogether. 

"I'm sorry I suggested getting rid of it. I understand why you want to keep it, I do. And of course, it's your choice. I just want to keep you safe and I panicked. f**k, I'm still panicking! But, I should have asked what you wanted before even saying such a thing. But I stand by the rest. This kid is going to have a world of evil to contend with. Please, let me help you." The apology and the plea sounded foreign coming from his lips. I wondered if he'd ever done either in his eternal life before. I believed him, though. And he was right. As quickly as the ice had built around my heart, it began to melt away. Besides, who was I to deny a god?

A god! What the actual f**k is my life? I’d have to circle back to that bombshell later. Hades certainly had all the time in the world to discuss the matter. But now… the man- the god- was staring back at me with unyielding determination. 

I would have this child and I would do whatever it took to ensure its survival, even if that meant accepting Hades' help. Even if that meant the baby would hate me. I didn’t need the child to love me or even like me, I only needed the child to live.

“O-okay.”