This Wicked Sin

Chapter 6:Gabriel

I was a coward. I didn’t want to face the consequences of my actions. So, I ran. No one stopped me or came after me. While my father and Rowan had walked back to the lounge, I’d taken a detour to a staircase that led to the very top of the building.

It was chilly up here. The rooftop was usually used to host Syndicate parties. It had beautiful gardens with seats and benches interspersed among the trees and flowers. A heated pool glowed in another corner with soft light.

I walked to the edge and grabbed the railing hard. I did my best to calm my breathing. I can’t believe I’d lost it like that. I thought I was better at controlling my temper by now, but clearly, I needed to work on it some more.

“That was quite the show back there,” a voice said behind me.

I turned around in a rush. I hadn’t heard anyone come up here. I needed to get my head on straight.

My eyes drifted up, and up into dark eyes. Dane Daka. With his commanding presence and height, he exuded confidence and strength. His sharp features were only accentuated by his cutting brown eyes that looked like they could see right into you.

I felt my breath catch but forced myself to ignore it, “What are you doing here? And why are you sneaking up on me?”

His mouth quirked up, almost like a smile, “I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you. I was here first actually. You walked past me like you didn’t see me.”

He eyed me from top to bottom. Despite the chill in the air, I felt myself grow hot.

“I…. didn’t,” I confessed. My cheeks heated in mortification, “Sorry, I thought I was alone. I’ll leave.”

I turned to go but a hand on my wrist stopped me. I froze, eyeing where his hand connected to my skin; mine lighter than his. It engulfed me, sending tingles from the point of contact straight to my heart. I swallowed hard and pulled my hand away. The ghost of his touch lingered.

“You don’t have to leave. This place is big enough for the two of us, even if our clans would have us believe otherwise,” he said. His voice was a deep velvet. Smooth and dark, just like the rest of him.

I stiffened at the mention of our clans. That was right. We were from two opposing sides of a war that was always ready to be fought. We shouldn’t have been meeting and talking so casually like this.

Despite all the reasons to do otherwise, I stayed.

Up here, where the light was soft and no one else was around, I felt like I could finally look at him. His dark, almost black eyes were famed by thick brows. Nothing about his face was soft; an assortment of hard angles and sharp edges. He had his hair shaved close to his scalp, showing off his features in stark contrast. He was ridiculously handsome. I hated that I noticed that. I hated that I’d always noticed that.

He wore a suit that was tailor-made for his built body. He was almost a head taller than me and larger than I was with wide shoulders. He had the sort of presence that made you feel like an ant next to him even if you were larger than him.

My eyes traced the sharp line of his jaw before moving to his lips. Were they as soft as they looked? His eyes met mine. I quickly looked away, caught.

“You have pretty good reflexes,” he said, like he hadn’t noticed me ogling him, “I must admit, I thought you were weak.”

I stiffened. “Everyone thinks I’m weak.”

It rankled for some unknown reason that he’d perceived me that way.

“I like the looks on their faces when they realize I’m not,” I said when our eyes met again.

He let out a laugh. It was more carefree than I ever imagined. “You’re pretty different from what I thought.”

“Oh, so you’ve thought of me?” I smirked.

“Plenty of times. It’s a little inconvenient,” he said without missing a beat. His gaze dropped from my eyes to my lips. They tingled with his attention.

What was going on here? Were we… flirting?

My face heated. I looked away towards the city skyline.

“Why are you up here?” I asked. I needed a subject change. Whatever was going on here was too dangerous to let fester.

“I assume for the same reasons you are. I needed some fresh air.”

“I never took you for the type to need a moment to step out. You were amazing in there. I’m sure everyone was impressed by you.”

“See, you’d think so. But I was lying through my teeth when I said I had already offered my services to Lord Nehemiah and his Coyotes. My mother covered up for me a bit. She was a little pissed off that I acted on my own,” he said, sheepish. I eyed him in disbelief.

“Did she punish you for that?” I asked.

He laughed, “No. Why would she?” He paused then frowned. “Is that what your father would do?”

He would do far worse than punishment for a stunt like that. But I didn’t say that. Instead, I said, “I like to come up to high places like this when I need a moment. I feel like I can finally breathe. That if I close my eyes and breathe deeply enough, I could fly right out of here,”

When he didn’t say anything, I turned to him. I was worried I had said something too cringy. But he was just watching me. A silent wall.

I cleared my throat and looked away.

“When I want to get away, really get away, I shift into my beast form and take off into the forest. Sometimes I wonder for days until I finally feel like I can take a whole breath without feeling like breaking down,” he said, just when I thought I’d killed the conversation.

“You mean you actually stay as a wolf for…days?” I was incredulous with disbelief.

All he did was nod noncommittally, like what he was saying was normal.

“I thought… they say when a shifter shifts, most of their thoughts and feelings are taken over by the wolf. That they are closer to a beast than a human. And the longer they stay that way, the more they lose more and more of themselves.”

I’d heard of shifters who couldn’t shift back into human form after staying as beasts for too long. Their minds would be forever lost to their beasts. Most people agreed that shifting wasn’t safe for more than a few hours at a time. It was greatly taxing on the mind and body.

“That’s mostly accurate.”

He eyed me carefully, as if debating whether to give me a real answer or leave it at that.

“It’s not so much taking over of your thoughts as it is a merging of two separate beings. People have it wrong. The wolf and I are separate but we are also one being. The shift blends these two states of being together. But if one side of yourself is weaker than the other, then it will be consumed by the more dominant one. The most common case is that most people’s inner wolves are far stronger than their human halves. From the moment of the shift, they are battling for their lives. That’s why shifts are so difficult but short. It is a battle against yourself where the part of yourself that considers itself human is destined to fail.”

“But how do you do it? Stay in your shifted form for more than a couple of hours?”

“I guess the best way to say it is the wolf and I came to an agreement,” he said cryptically. It was obvious he wouldn’t say anything more about that.

“So how is it? Shifting?” Now that I’d started, it was like I couldn’t stop.

“You have three shifters in your immediate family. Why have you never asked them?”

“My family is not… It’s never come up,” I said. I was mortified. I’d let too much slip about my family with my silences and non-answers. I wondered if he could see what most didn’t. How my family was nothing more than a fractured remnant. But he didn’t say anything about my family. Didn’t comment about the obvious fissures I had let him see.

“It’s exhilarating. You feel like pure power itself. Even the pain of transforming becomes euphoric. It’s not the easiest thing to describe.”

“I can only imagine.” My voice held a tinge of bitterness. I shook it away. I quickly changed the subject. “In the meeting, back there,” I started, “Why did you say that?”

From the moment he had looked at me, his gaze hadn’t wavered. I breathed in his rich scent surreptitiously.

“Why did I say what?”

“Why did you say you wanted me?” I asked. I hadn’t noticed we stood so close to each other. Somehow, in the few moments between the time we met and now, we had unconsciously moved closer to each other. I told myself it was because it was cold. It was natural to seek out a warm body when there was little heat.

Dane stepped even closer to me. I was shocked in place when he raised a hand and placed it against my heated cheek. He bent his head, bringing our faces close. He pulled my face closer to his. I sucked in a breath. My eyes slipped down to his lips.

He murmured, “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you?”