Blessed by the Moon Goddess

Chapter 15

Janelle

Abel kept his promise to take me out to the park. It’s surprisingly similar to the community commons we had in the Blood Moon pack. It’s surreal with open green grass, benches, trees, various flowers, and wide open space with walkways paved with cobblestones giving it a picturesque look and feel. Abel brought a blanket and laid it out on the grass under a large willow tree. He even has a basket of food for us to share and enjoy. “Well, what do you think?”

“It’s beautiful,” I admit.

“I have a confession,” Abel said nervously. I look at him curiously as I’ve never seen him behave so anxiously. “This is the first time I’ve... Ah… I’ve never been on a date before.”

“I find that hard to believe. I’ve been on three dates before the attack on my pack.”

“You said…”

“They were just dates. I wasn’t an evil person, I would agree to go on a date, let him shoot his shot, and then gently turn him down. I even had my first kiss on one of the dates. Nothing like the way you kiss me, but still I count it as my first kiss.” I reply. “Don’t worry, my uncle was the person everyone needed to ask before they could approach me which fended off most.”

He was silent for a bit, telling me he was processing this information. “I guess we were truly different growing up.”

“Your mom mentioned that Vinny was trying to train you for something, is she correct?”

“Yes, but I was never going to fall in line.”

“How old were you when he began training you?”

“20. I completed boot camp. He began training me, then I enlisted with my unit for advanced training for another 3 years. When I returned, he tried again, telling me how with my determination, I could become the Gamma of this pack which my father never appreciated. I played nice for six months, then my unit was approved to do the elite training for another 2 years. Then I came home and met you.”

“Elite is the highest?”

“Special forces. We don’t do patrol duty unless ordered to by the Alpha.”

“My uncle started my training when I was 8. Minor secretary work, once I turned ten he sent me to the hospital to begin my training with the pack's field medic. When I was 12, I assisted the wounded during a war because I was fast and could help our soldiers. Once I mastered field medicine, he told me I would learn a new skill. If I argued he would simply say, ‘This is for your own good, Jani. Everyone will underestimate you because of your size, but what makes a wolf invaluable is their knowledge, and sweetheart, I’m going to make you irresistible.’ By the time I was 15, I could construct blueprints of buildings with ease, I could even help with frameworking. Then when I turned 16, he pulled me back into the packhouse to sit in on meetings to learn how a pack runs. If my grades at school slipped, I would answer to him. My parents argued with him that he was putting too much pressure on me, but he always talked them into understanding he was doing it for my own good.”

“He cared about you.”

“I loved my uncle. He was kind and fair, but strict. I remember one time he had me working in a retail store to work on my people skills. It was so boring. I completed all my job requirements within 2 hours of my shift and not many people came in. I pleaded with my uncle to place me somewhere else; he listened and assured me he would find something else for me within the week. He did, and I was happy.”

“I wish I had your uncle.”

“I was blessed with him.”

“Is that where you learned to fight?”

“Yes, every weekend I was expected to train. I had no real free time unless it was approved by my uncle first. The three dates were with guys who thought they had a chance. My uncle told me about them before they came to ask me out, I was never shocked or surprised by it. I explained to my uncle that going on a date wouldn’t hurt anyone as we were all around the same age. The two who were 18, just wanted to see if I was their mate. Turned out it was another girl in the class so I was happy for them.”

“Which one did you kiss?”

“Jack, he was a good friend. Nothing but happy memories with him. You have nothing to be jealous about. He was a sweet guy, held the doors open for me, pulled out my chair before I sat down, and offered me his jacket when I was cold. We went to a school dance together a few months before the attack. When he dropped me off, he opened the car door to help me out as I wore this ridiculously puffy dress I just had to have, and when he walked me to my front door, he gave me a quick kiss, like this.” I leaned forward, pulling him forward by the shoulders and briefly kissing his lips. “See, innocent.”

“He was a fool,” Abel stated, before gripping my waist and hoisting me over the food and onto his lap before kissing my lips hungrily. When we finally broke the kiss, I was gasping for air and seeing stars. “Any man who wouldn’t want to kiss you passionately is a fool.”

“No, he just wasn’t my mate,” I whisper running my hand through his hair. “Only you kiss me like that.”

“I guess, I’m worse than you are again then.”

“It’s not a competition Abel. Just more information about me and who I am. I know about your past, and I’ve come to terms with knowing I wasn’t your first. But I am the first to get this close emotionally with you. I like it when we connect. It makes me happy.”

“All I want is to make you happy, Jani. I love you with all my heart.”

“I know you do.” I kiss his lips tenderly. I’m not sure how I feel about him. I deeply care for him, but I’m struggling with the idea of loving him. Every time I hear about love, my heart aches. Losing my family the way I did, broke something inside me and I’m not sure it’ll ever heal. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to love again, and that scares me. “Last night… The nightmare was bad. You… You were a monster in the dream.” I confess before going into details about the dream. As I finished telling him he was holding me so tightly and crying on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“It was just a nightmare.”

“I know, but I was taught that dreams hold thoughts and emotions from our subconscious. Hearing you say what I did in your nightmare, has me realizing that deep down you are still scared of me. I’m sorry I scare you. I’ll work on being less harsh with how I speak to you, I know I come across as aggressive sometimes.” He replied by kissing my temple. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about it.”

“I trust you with my life Abel. That’s what made that dream so scary to me. It felt so real to think that you would betray my trust. I know you wouldn’t. Just like I know you only want to see me happy.”

We finished our lunch and sat together for another hour, just enjoying each other's company. “Let’s go shopping,” Abel announced when we were walking back to the car.

“What?”

“I’ve noticed that your favorite outfits that fit you the best are well worn. While we’re out, I want to take you shopping for some new clothes. Besides, if you begin looking for a job next week, you’ll need something to wear to the interviews and work.”

“Are you sure?”

“Janelle, I want to buy you new clothes for a new life. Please.”

“Okay, but I need to try them on before we buy them. My mom and I used to have the hardest time finding clothes that fit right on my frame.”

“You can try on anything you want and take as long as you want. This is your day.”

“Promise you won’t make me go shopping every date we go on?”

“Just today, I promise.” He smiles at me.

“Okay.” I agree and get into the car.

He drives us to a cluster of shops. We get out and enter a boutique. “Welcome, is there anything I can help you with?” A saleswoman asks as she steps out from behind the counter.

“No, we’re just here to get Janelle some new clothes,” Abel answers.

“Custom orders will have to be made by appointments.” The saleswoman replied.

“Who said custom orders? I’m going to browse.” I reply walking over to the aisles of clothing racks. I find some outfits in the correct size and return to Abel’s side. “I would like to try these on, please.”

“Certainly, miss.” The saleswoman walked me over to the dressing room and unlocked the door for me. “Whatever you don’t want, you can put on this rack outside the room.” She instructed pointing to an empty clothing rack on wheels against the opposite wall.

“Thank you,” I reply as I enter the dressing room, closing the door behind me. It’s been so long since I’ve gone clothes shopping, I’m nervous and giddy at the same time. The first three outfits I’ve tried on looked horrible on me: baggy and bulky. The fourth was a perfect fit and I’m over the moon with how good I look in it. The fifth and sixth were too small and not flattering at all. Seven was okay, but just didn’t look good on me.

“Janelle, are you going to come out and show me your outfits?” Abel asked. Why does he sound annoyed? He said to take my time.

“I will, just only when I find one, I like,” I replied peeling the seventh outfit off. “I’m almost done.”

“Just let me see, please.” I hate feeling rushed when looking for clothes.

“Give me a minute.” I snap in irritation as I pull on another outfit. I like the jeans but the top is ugly with a capital U. I quickly shimmy out of them, putting the jeans aside with the clothes I want to get.

I can hear Abel pacing back and forth outside the dressing room, making me anxious and even more self-conscious when the next out looks worse than the first three together. Damn it, why is he changing his mind on how much time I have? I just have to hurry and not try everything on. Maybe just three outfits will be enough, though I want to try more.

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