Binti

Cursed…Alone

Cursed!

Yes. That was the only explanation for how I ended up in this prison.

As a child, my grandmother had regaled me with tales of reincarnation. She had told me of how slave women could be reincarnated as royalty, a reward for their sufferings in their past lives. I had taken those tales and assumed myself one of such persons, I had even offered them as explanations to my parents for why I enjoyed spending time with commoners in the outdoors. I had been one of them in my past life, I was only born into royalty as a reward for living well.

Ha! A joke! My father must be having a hearty laugh in this moment at my expense. Reward? A curse!

If indeed I had been a slave in my past life, I must have murdered my master before my death. That was the only reason such an unfortunate lot had been cast at my feet.

Married to a brute, an animal, unceremoniously!

Anger coursed through my veins, boiling my blood so much I imagined my skin was incredibly warm. My eyes burned with unshed tears, as I was led to what would be my chamber by the maid Hannon had assigned to me.

I had put up a brave front in his presence, but I was desperate to shed the tears I had been fighting for days.

"We're here my Queen." The oddly cheerful maid said to me in a soft, sweet voice, just before she opened the door to my chamber and led me in.

I looked her over, confused as to what had her so cheery and why she had referred to me as her queen. Queen? Had the despicable man I was now condemned to call 'husband' not made it clear in the presence of his members of council, that I was no queen? Had he not informed his palace staff same?

I breezed past her, and went straight to the large bed in the middle of a room I couldn't be less interested in exploring. The maid- Niasse, stared at me, perturbed by my behaviour I imagine. Her large blue eyes held questions she probably thought herself too lowly to ask.

And then a bright smile popped on her face, "Is it to your liking?" She asked.

"Does it matter?" I fired back at her. Did she not see how miserable I looked?

Niasse had the sense to ease her smile, she lowered her gaze only briefly, before deciding to explore other topics, "You have a changing room filled with Mediran dresses the king will require you to wear, I will be present to help you with your morning preparations. Whenever you're bored, I could take you down to the courtyard and we'll do some sewing, or singing, whichever most captures your interest. The king requires you to have dinner with him every night…"

Niasse continued speaking with herself. Nothing she said was of any interest to me. I did not plan to be a dutiful wife to a man who told me I was no more than chattel. I did not plan to follow whatever rules that were laid out, nor wear their ugly traditional wears.

I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to fall asleep and wake up in my bed, in my kingdom. I felt my chest grow heavy in sorrow.

"Leave."

I spoke up, cutting Niasse off mid-speech.

"My Queen…"

"I am NOT your Queen!" I spat, the words leaving my lips with all the bile that rose within. Niasse stared back at me with fear and concern.

She wasn't the one who had put me in this bond. She was merely a servant, doing what was expected of her. Regret washed over me, as I realised I was pouring my frustrations out on an innocent party.

I lowered my gaze, reeling in my wild emotions. "I want to be alone, please leave." I repeated, my voice much softer now.

Niasse must have noticed the difference in my tone. She gave me a tight smile and nodded, "I'm sorry for being so forward, I should have considered you would be exhausted from your long travel. I will let you rest now my Queen."

She curtsied and walked out of the chamber, closing the door with a soft click. Indeed I was exhausted, but it wasn't because of a trip. Niasse knew that, she had only extended some grace to me.

I stared at the large, wooden door for a moment, taking in how alone I now was. Exhaustion seized every limb in my body, as I began to tremble, allowing the tears I had been holding back all this time, spill.

Alone.

I had never known such a concept, I had never thought I would know what it was like to be alone. I had always been surrounded by friends and loved ones, people of similar culture and interest. I had never paused in all my years, to take in the gift of being surrounded by such love. I had just let those moments pass like they were a never ending loop, to be repeated the rest of my life.

My new reality caused a heaviness in my chest. I lay halfway on the bed, and let the tears drop, while being as quiet as I possibly could.

If I didn't let the tears out now, I would break at a later time, even worse, in the presence of my chief tormentor.

That was not an option.