Why I Let Go of Love

Chapter 1 The Betrayal

My childhood best friend chased after her dream guy for five whole years, and during those five years, I secretly helped her. But then she turned around and hooked up with my boyfriend.

With tear-stained, swollen eyes, my best friend pleaded, [Qir, it was just an accident. I won't try to take your boyfriend.]

She clutched my sleeve tightly, [Please, don't tell Victor.]

I took a step back and looked at her with a cold smile, [Sure.]

Since she betrayed me first, I'll let her feel the agony of unrequited love.

If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed that both my boyfriend and my childhood best friend would betray me simultaneously.

I leaned on the windowsill, closing my dry eyes.

When Mike saw me, he looked panicked, [Qir, I...]

He tried hard to explain, but in the end, he said nothing.

I looked at him, trying to keep my voice calm, [Let's break up.]

Mike's expression instantly turned bleak, [I don't agree to break up.]

If it weren't for this incident, Mike could be considered an ideal boyfriend.

He was gentle, came from a good family, looked decent, and always cared for me attentively.

I always thought he was someone I could spend my life with.

But now, the person I thought was reliable was lying in the same bed with my best friend.

His eyes were red, and he looked remorseful.

[Qir, I'm sorry. I momentarily lost my mind. Please give me another chance.]

His voice was clearly trembling with restraint.

[Sorry, this is my bottom line.] I bypassed him and pushed the door open.

Mike reached out, trying to hold me back, but I distanced myself from him, saying coldly, [Don't touch me. I feel filthy.]

He lowered his head in defeat.

As I stepped out the door, I looked at the messy apartment and the scantily clad pair, sneering, [You two really disgust me.]

When it comes to cheating, I've always believed in not blaming the other woman, as it takes two to make a mess. But that other woman could be anyone, except Sabrina.

We grew up sharing a bed, eating from the same bowl, going to school together, and even promised to grow old together. After more than a decade of shared hardships, how could she stab me in the heart and leave me so disheartened?

I wandered numbly down the street, my steps heavy as if filled with lead, suddenly unsure of where to go.

One was a sister I confided in, the other was someone I loved wholeheartedly. At this moment, my mind was in a fog, and my world felt like it was collapsing.

I returned to the study room, lay my head on the desk, and buried it in my arms, surrounded by people coming and going, not knowing how much time had passed.

Suddenly, someone gently knocked on the edge of my desk. I looked up to see Victor, with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder, his eyes dark and intense.

Having cried for a long time, my throat was dry and hoarse, and I couldn't help but cough a few times.

He handed me a bottle of water, and I drank it down without hesitation. My parched throat instantly felt much cooler.

[Did you have a falling out with Sabrina?]

Victor's voice was low and soothing. He spoke slowly, with a pleasant tone, and though he was asking, his tone was certain.

[Do you know why I fell out with her?] I asked him.

[Sabrina said it was because of calligraphy that she got a bit close to Mike, and you misunderstood.]

I let out a cold laugh, misunderstood?

That's putting it too lightly.

Sabrina was clearly uneasy, acting guilty, afraid I'd tell Victor directly, so she preemptively struck first.

I closed my eyes, feeling a sharp pain in my heart.

I heard Victor sigh with resignation.

"Are you here to play peacemaker for them?" I looked up at him.

Victor's bright eyes suddenly dimmed a little. After a while, he spoke, "I just don't think it's worth it."

It really isn't worth it, whether it's the lost love or the dead friendship.

After a moment of silence, neither of us spoke. Victor quietly stayed with me, and a few minutes later, he said, "Your throat is hoarse, go have a hot drink to soothe it."

I nodded and followed him.

We went to a hot drink shop at the school gate, and he ordered a cup of monk fruit and licorice tea for me, specifically asking the staff to make it warm.

After the staff prepared it, Victor unwrapped the straw and inserted it into the cup, handing the tea to me.

His hands were slender, with fair skin, long fingers, and clean nails.

I was momentarily lost in thought and suddenly said, "Victor, why don't we date?"

Victor's hand froze, his thick eyelashes casting a shadow over his eyes.

"Why?" he asked slowly.

His voice gradually turned cold, "You're planning to use me, aren't you?"

I remained silent.

The atmosphere instantly froze. I knew my mind was completely twisted, but hatred had taken over my entire brain.

My mind was screaming, since Sabrina betrayed me first, I'll make her experience unrequited love too.

Victor was undoubtedly Sabrina's Achilles' heel, capable of completely defeating her.

Sabrina was always the fragile type, often ostracized by girls in our class during school.

We grew up together, and whenever she faced problems, she would tearfully come to me first.

When someone tore up her homework, I would teach that person a lesson and redo her homework for her.

When she was extorted by bullies and couldn't afford food, I would give her half of my limited living expenses.

When thugs bullied her, I would push through the crowd and rescue her.

I have a deep scar on my lower back from fighting for her, and since then, I can never wear high-waisted clothes in summer.

Even because of her words, "I only want you as my best friend,"

I cut off all social interactions.

How close we once were now seems so ridiculous.

As we left the milk tea shop, the sunset filled the sky, painting it with a glow.

Just yesterday, Sabrina and I were dancing in the sunset, I played the guzheng while she danced gracefully.

It was clearly just yesterday, yet thinking about it now feels like years have passed.

I managed a weak smile, looking at Victor.

"Thank you for staying with me. I've already transferred the money for the milk tea to you, make sure to check."

Victor was my high school classmate, but in reality, we weren't that close, only interacting through mutual likes on social media.

All my interactions with him came through Sabrina. When we met, Sabrina stood by his side, and Mike stood by mine.

This was the first time we walked side by side alone.

Victor said unhurriedly, "No need to be so precise, just treat me next time."

I nodded in agreement and bid him farewell.

Wandering the busy streets, I suddenly didn't know where to go.

I walked slowly along the riverside, letting the night breeze clear my mind a bit.

It was just getting dark, and there were noticeably fewer cars at the school entrance.

I followed the winding path forward, and the streetlights along the riverbank seemed neglected.

With one light out, the whole path seemed darker.

The most important thing is, halfway through, I noticed someone seemed to be following me.

I casually glanced back and saw a burly man.

This secluded path had no surveillance cameras, just me and him. If he wanted to make a move, I couldn't imagine the consequences.

Feeling nervous, I quickened my pace.

But the footsteps behind me also quickened.

I was really scared.

In my confusion, I had no choice but to take out my phone to call the police.

Suddenly, a call came in, and before I could even speak, I heard Victor's voice in my ear.

[Don't be afraid, I'm here.]

His voice was deep and powerful, instantly providing a sense of security.

As his words fell, there seemed to be another rush of footsteps from behind, getting closer.

I turned around in terror, only to see a tall figure—it was Victor. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Victor approached me and draped his jacket over my shoulders.

At this moment, my mind was still in a state of panic. Victor looked back and softly reassured me, [It's okay, that person is gone.]

Under the streetlight, Victor's features were distinct, with a high nose bridge and a smooth jawline, looking particularly handsome under the warm yellow light.

His voice returned to its usual coolness.

[Don't misunderstand, I didn't follow you on purpose. I saw you were in a bad mood and was worried something might happen to you.]

My numb mind slowly began to comprehend, no wonder he arrived so promptly.

Victor slowly explained, [Recently, it's been unsafe around the school at night. Seeing you walk further away, I was worried, so I followed.]

I see.

Perhaps noticing I was still shaken, his voice was gentle, [Let me walk you back to the dorm.]

I silently thanked him.

When we reached the dorm entrance, Mike was leaning against the railing, holding a large bouquet of roses.

He looked anxious, and the moment he saw me, his eyes suddenly cleared.

[Qir, you're finally back. I've been waiting for you here for a long time.]

It wasn't until I got closer that he noticed Victor beside me. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me away from Victor.

Mike knew I was raised with strict discipline and usually didn't go out at night.

His gaze suddenly fixed on the loose men's jacket I was wearing, his pupils slightly constricted, and he asked nervously, [Qir, where did you and Victor go so late at night?]

I smirked and replied with a hint of revenge, [To a hotel.]

Mike's voice trembled, and he seemed to be drained of all strength in an instant.

I twisted my arm to break free from his grip, struggled for a while, but due to my lack of strength, I had to give up.

I glared at him and said coldly, [I told you, don't touch me, I feel disgusted.]

Mike's tall body swayed, but he still held onto me tightly, his eyes red, lips pressed into a thin line, stubbornly refusing to let go.

After a few seconds of stalemate, a slender, fair hand appeared on his wrist.

Victor frowned, his voice cold, [Let go.]

Mike's expression was hard, [This is a private matter between Qir and me, you, an outsider, shouldn't interfere.]

Victor said word by word, [Qir said to let go.]

Mike's gaze shifted between me and Victor, and he cursed under his breath, [You're asking for it.]

Then he suddenly lunged at Victor like a madman.

Both of them were over six feet tall, and as they fought, I couldn't stop them at all.

Victor was gaining the upper hand, so I breathed a sigh of relief, crossing my arms and watching indifferently from the side.

Sabrina suddenly emerged from the dormitory and rushed forward to pull them apart.

It was the weekend, and only a few people were passing by; the school wasn't very crowded.

She spread her arms to shield Mike, tears streaming down like a string of broken pearls.

Sabrina appeared flustered, her voice choked with sobs.

[Victor, don't believe Qir's side of the story. Mike and I are truly innocent.]

She likely assumed Victor was fighting because he had discovered her and Mike's dirty deeds.

Time reveals a person's true nature, even after more than ten years of shared hardships.

It was ridiculous; only now did I finally see Sabrina's true colors.

Clearly, she wronged me first, yet now she wants to twist the truth and smear me.

After the fight, Victor's clothes hung loosely, adding a touch of nonchalance to his usual cool demeanor. He casually adjusted his collar.

He wore a British-style coat with the collar turned up, his gaze both mischievous and alluring.

[Qir didn't say a word.]

He shrugged with a lazy smile, [You don't need to prove your innocence because I honestly don't care.]

He was looking at me as he spoke, the light from the streetlamp flickering in his eyes, and I was suddenly struck by his captivating appearance.

Sabrina initially breathed a slight sigh of relief, but her face turned as pale as paper upon hearing the latter part of his words.

Complaining behind someone's back is nothing compared to being confronted directly.

I sneered, [Innocent? Do you really have the nerve to claim that? You weren't saying that when you and Mike were tangled up in bed.]

[No, I didn't. You're framing me.]

Sabrina looked astonished, tears welling up in her eyes, her tone aggrieved.

Her acting could win her an Oscar.

I looked at Sabrina coldly and said, [Need me to send you the photos?]

She glared at me with red-rimmed eyes, biting her lip in silence.

And in that moment of silence, she was defeated.

Victor had a few scratches on his fingers, and I planned to take him to the infirmary for some ointment.

He frowned and shook his head, [Just grab some alcohol from the store. I can't stand the smell of disinfectant.]

Actually, the disinfectant smell in the infirmary is much milder than in a hospital.

I teased, [You dislike it that much?]

He suddenly looked at me, his expression forlorn, [Didn't you know that when you were asking about me before?]

I stood there awkwardly, silent.

In high school, Victor was a legend, consistently ranking at the top and outscoring the second place by over fifty points.

Back then, he received awards for six out of seven subjects for the scholarship. His cool appearance made him the undisputed school heartthrob among many girls.

After the opening ceremony, Sabrina fell head over heels and begged me to gather information for her.

To find out his preferences, I bribed all his roommates, and amidst their teasing, I finally got Victor's contact info.

As we left the supermarket, Victor suddenly said, [You still haven't answered my question from earlier.]

He stood tall and slender like bamboo, effortlessly drawing the attention of many girls.

My mind went blank, and I asked, [What question?]

Victor's voice was low, and in the night, it unexpectedly carried a hint of melancholy.

[Is this relationship you mentioned just for revenge?]

I looked at him and said, [Yes.]

Victor suddenly laughed, his voice tinged with sadness, [Killing without a trace, truly ruthless.]

I didn't argue; I had no grounds to.

Indeed, I am petty, with only hatred in my eyes, resorting to any means for revenge.

[I can agree to be your boyfriend in name only.] Victor's voice was somewhat indifferent as he turned to look at me, [but I have a condition.]

[I accept.] As if afraid he would change his mind the next second, I quickly replied.

[For revenge, you really can.]

Victor laughed in exasperation.

[The exchange condition is for you to become the president of the music club.]

The music club has been dubbed the "demon club" of the school, with this year's members seemingly harmless but actually quite unruly, having already driven away several previous presidents.

[If you don't want to agree, you can just say so, no need to make things difficult for me.]

I instantly deflated, lowering my head, feeling that Victor was just toying with me.

Victor laughed in exasperation again, his eyes lifting, and the corners of his mouth curving up.

[I'm serious, only you can handle this group of troublemakers.]

The next day, after waking up, my social media messages exploded.

All of them were like, [Qir, how did you bring the untouchable beauty down from the pedestal?]

[You actually stole our male god, crying emoji.]

Comments like that.

It took me all morning to figure out that Victor had directly announced our "new relationship" on his social media.

This caused a sensation throughout the school.

Even on the school forum, there was: [The pure and restrained campus male god steps down from the pedestal for love.]

Although Victor is only my boyfriend in name, this damn sense of security can be considered the gold standard of boyfriend material.

After class, Victor leaned against the teaching building waiting for me to have lunch.

He wore a black pullover sweatshirt, his body tall and slender, head slightly lowered, the intense afternoon sunlight outlining the sharp and handsome jawline of the young man.

Just casually leaning there, he was a sight to behold.

Passing girls couldn't help but glance over.

I dawdled under the murderous gazes of all the girls in the school and walked over to him.

I asked softly, [We agreed you were just my boyfriend in name, why make such a big scene?]

Victor, holding a can, pulled off his earphones with one hand, the cord loosely hanging around his pale neck.

His voice was indifferent, [If we're going to act, might as well go all out.]

A few minutes later, we sat in the cafeteria in silence, Victor eating slowly and deliberately, not looking around, just placing sweet and sour ribs on my tray.

I mumbled, [Actually... you don't have to be so dedicated.]

He glanced at me coldly, [I don't like them, throwing them away would be wasteful.]

I completely shut my mouth.

This overthinking, I could directly carve out a whole soap opera on the spot.

When I went to get soup, I ran into Sabrina, her face angry.

[Qirat, you did it on purpose, didn't you? You knew I liked Victor, yet you deliberately got close to him.]

I looked at her with disdain, slowly smiling.

[Yes, I did it on purpose. You said you pursued him for five whole years and he never agreed, but turned around and got with me. Doesn't that make you mad?]

Sabrina's expression twisted, her eyes like they were on fire, she stared at me angrily, only managing to spit out two words, [Shameless hussy.]

[Are you talking about yourself?]

I filled my soup, smiling, [Forgot to tell you, I didn't have any photos last time, I just used it to trick you. You're really quite foolish.]

Sabrina was burning with anger, just about to make a move, but suddenly bit her lower lip, her expression suddenly becoming demure.

I was just marveling at how she could change her expression like a Peking opera face change when I suddenly saw Victor behind her.

"Victor, please forgive me. I was drunk that day, and Mike forced me."

Sabrina clutched Victor's sleeve, her eyes red, "Please, don't be with Qirat..."

Hearing her cries, I couldn't help but grin, but as I laughed, a stabbing pain hit my heart.

How blind must I have been to be friends with someone like this for over ten years?

Victor quickly interrupted her, "Sorry, don't cling to me anymore. My girlfriend wouldn't be happy."

With that, he took my hand and walked out of the cafeteria.

On Saturday, I finally saw the group of mischievous freshmen kids Victor had mentioned. They were a bunch of first-year students who looked at me with arrogant expressions, calling me an outsider.

Several of them even challenged me to a musical showdown, saying if I couldn't beat them, I should leave the club.

Egged on by the group, I accepted their challenge.

I mainly wanted to take this opportunity to curb their arrogance and make them more manageable.

On Friday at the music hall, the place was abuzz as the kids lined up to battle me.

The first round was a guzheng competition, which I was most skilled at, so it was an easy win for me.

The mischievous kids began to take me seriously and tried to find out which instruments I wasn't good at.

But no matter what they chose, I remained calm and composed.

After three consecutive matches, I emerged victorious.

It's a joke; I've been playing since I was three. When I was learning music, these kids were still playing in the mud.

Ah, youth. Even after losing, they still smiled with pride.

The club's troublemaker, Robin, wasn't satisfied and tried to cheat by demanding a fourth match, only to face Victor.

Victor gave Robin a light kick, his expression lazy. "What's the matter with you? Bullying with numbers and now going back on your word."

Robin exaggeratedly howled, dragging his words, "Boss, don't worry, we just wanted to spar with your girlfriend."

Everyone burst into laughter.

Seeing Victor, the mischievous kids immediately behaved and greeted him, "Hey, Boss!"

Someone in the crowd jeered, "Wow, Boss is so protective."

"A wife-doting maniac!"

Victor smiled brightly, "If I don't pamper her, should I pamper you guys?"

The members roared with laughter, and some even dared to whistle.

Someone said sourly, "What a big pig's trotter, forgot about us once he got a girlfriend."

Robin teased that person, "The key is, who do you think you are?"

The crowd erupted in laughter.

Outside the club, Victor took the heavy instrument from my hands, "They didn't bully you, did they?"

"Just a bunch of mischievous kids, they're quite cute."

He smiled, "I knew I found the right person."

When he smiled, his eyes sparkled like they were filled with stars.

I softly said, "Thank you for being such a dedicated boyfriend during this time."

"These days might have disrupted your normal life, so let's call it quits."

I saw Victor's expression froze for a moment, like frost under the moonlight.

I added, "Don't worry, as a return favor, I'll take care of the club's matters."

"Why not seek revenge anymore?"

I shrugged, "I've moved on."

He didn't say anything more, his expression returning to its previous indifference.

That night, as I was heading back to the dorm, a dark figure suddenly pulled me aside. In the dim light, I gradually realized it was Sabrina.

She sneered, "Ha, an imposter."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I've heard everything. You and Victor are just using each other."

She looked at me with disdain, "As if Victor would ever be interested in someone like you."

Since she already knew, I didn't see the point in pretending anymore.

"Fake or not, I was still with him," I scoffed, "Unlike you, who after five years still has no standing and never caught his attention."

This struck a nerve with Sabrina, and the color drained from her face as her lips quivered.

She tried to slap me, but I twisted her arm and shoved her to the ground.

"I'm warning you once more, don't mess with me."

Sabrina awkwardly withdrew her hand, sitting on the ground with a resentful and twisted expression, "Qirat, you won't be feeling smug for long."

I couldn't be bothered to argue with her any longer and turned straight into the dorm.