A Love That Was Never Meant to Be

Chapter 004

Theo's point of view

At Callum's words, my chest contracted, and a cold shiver raced down my spine. He was eager—no, excited—to find my darkest secrets.

Only he knew.

If only he knew he was the very thing I had been hiding all these years.

Under the desk, I tightened my fists and tried to keep a neutral face. I could never let him find this secret—the one I vowed to carry to my tomb. Because I doubted he would ever look at me the same way as he did.

I had become inattentive to him.

Not only as a best friend. Not only in relation to solidarity. It was something dangerous and more fundamental. Something that had been chewing away at me since med school, once I came to know the truth about myself.

I considered myself straight before Callum. I never even gave another man such consideration or looked at another man that way. But my world had started to change the moment he pulled me away from those bullies in college, from the moment he became my friend.

I told myself at first that it was only respect. A desperate longing for companionship after years of being an only child. But respect didn't help to explain why my pulse raced every time he was near. It didn't explain why my stomach twisted in knots when he flashed that cocky grin or why I felt like I was drowning every time he touched me.

And it sure as hell didn't explain the chaos in my head when he walked into my office tonight.

Completely. Naked.

I grabbed the arms of my chair and swallowed hard. My mouth had gone dry; thus, every bit of self-control helped me not to let my eyes stray over his body.

Ignorant as always, Callum simply collapsed onto my office couch and laid his arms across the rearrest as though he owned the space. His smile was nothing less than victorious.

I began, clearing my throat and pushing my voice to be steady. "I take it you finished your after-hours session?"

His smile grew wider. Yes.

I exhaled and massaged my temple. "I really thought you would have evolved out of this by now."

"For what reason would I stop?" He gave a shrug, totally unconcerned. “Plenty of women out there still need my help.”

I looked at him. "Help?

"I have been offering a needed service for the past two years." Leaching forward, he rested his elbows on his knees. I have guided many women towards a better understanding of mechanics, art, grace. They have also left as better, more assured lovers in exchange. Both sides gain from it.

I let out a strong cough. "And you don't think two after-hours sessions a week plus your weekend 'activities' are excessive?"

He ran a hand through his hair, almost radiating conceit.

"Callum, there is no game here. "You are becoming addicted to this lifestyle." I allowed my eyes to roll back.

He laughed, shaking his head. “You're overthinking it.”

I wasn’t, though.

I had observed the trend: I watched as his "coaching" evolved from simple advice to something far more physical. Although he told himself he was serving his clients, I knew better.

He could have used this. The surge. The verification, the diversion.

And that worried me as well.

I slanted forward, resting my elbows on my desk. "Are you sure you're helping them?"

His grin wavered just a little. "Of course, I am.

I looked at him. "Are you helping them, or are you just helping yourself?"

His lips opened as though in argument, but no words came out.

I went on. Have you ever given the repercussions some thought? Mostly in relationships, these women come to you alone. What would happen if their partners found out? What if one of them accuses you of something? What if—”

Are you suggesting I should stop? His voice was now more subdued and more sober.

I sigh. "I am not sure what to do here. However, I urge you to evaluate if the risk associated with these sessions truly warrants it.

Silence filled the space between us. Callum looked unsure, for the first time in a very long time.

Finally, he exhaled, rubbing his jaw. "Hear you. And I will give it some thought.

I nodded, resolved not to press ahead. He needed time to process this, and I wasn’t going to force him into anything.

“Anyway,” he said, leaning back against the couch, “what are you still doing here?” I thought you left early.

“I had reports to finish.” I stretched my arms over my head, my muscles stiff from sitting too long. “Wanted to get everything done before Monday.”

He started to smile. With all that noise next door, did you find it possible to concentrate?

I aimed a glare at him. "Barely. Perhaps if you soundproofed the whole building, I wouldn't have to hear every single“"

"Hey, we got carried away. He raised his hands in a gesture of deference. I wasn't sure you were still there.

I shook my head and slowly exhaled. “You know what? "I know I won’t change your mind overnight, so here.” I pulled a document from my desk and slid it toward him.

He picked it up, skimming the first page. "A written agreement?!"

yes. It's a permission form. It says your customers are freely attending the sessions and are totally aware of them. It guards against possible legal problems.

He lifted an eyebrow. You truly believe I need this?

For the past two years, you have been lucky. However, luck runs out. This concerns the clinic as much as you personally. One false accusation destroying all we have created is not what you want.

He started with a slow smile across his mouth. You were always the smart one.

I turned away the warmth of his compliments were spreading across my chest. Just be sure they sign before you start.

With a chuckle, he tucked the paper beneath his jacket.

I shook my head and got ready. Let us head home.

Callum stood, extending. "Which car are we heading for?"

“Yours reeks of cedarwood and perfume.” I nodded and wrinkled my nose. Each of us drives separately.

His eyes sparkled with mischief as he moved toward—too close. He hooked an arm around my shoulders and hauled me into him before I could respond.

My senses were assaulted by the smells of perspiration and residual perfume.

"Callum'—"

"You neat freak." His voice was low and teasing. "If you keep chatting to me like that, I might just—” He bent forward, lips brushing my ear. —make sure you smell exactly like me.

I turned over in my stomach.

Heart hammering, I shoved him off. "Get off me!"

Laughing, he grabbed his keys and ran a hand through his hair. "Alright, alright. I'm going to act.

We strolled out together, each headed to our own car. I let out a breath I never noticed I was breathing as I slid into the driver's seat.

I have been working for ten years.

I have been living with Callum for ten years.

I have spent ten years of truth-telling under cover.

For what length of time could I continue this?