Her, His, & Roses

HER - Chapter 14: Help, I Can't Tell If We're Ending (2 of 2)

“When are you going to tell us that you’re pregnant?” Mama Rhea followed me in the bathroom when I’m vomiting.

“You knew??!” wiping my mouth after I gargled.

“Of course, I’m your mother and I gave birth to six children, so I’m quite an expert in this kind of situation.” Mama Rhea looking at my reflection through the mirror while standing at the doorway. “It’s not the first time I catch up on you.”

“10 weeks, I’m pregnant for 10 weeks now.” facing her. “I want the attention to be focus on Ter and not on me, so I didn’t tell to anyone yet. I asked Jun to keep it a secret from his parents too.”

“Silly girl!” laughed at me. “You always put others before yourself but you go overboard when you put yourself first. So, what’s your plan? Get married on the same day as giving birth to your child like what happened to your sister? Is that what you want??” crossing her arms.

“Well it’s not a bad idea, I can have a civil wedding first by August after my 25th birthday then a church wedding next year when I get my figure back.” considering the plan.

“You!” Mama Rhea hit my head. “I really don’t know what to do with you anymore!” yelling at me. “I’m telling this to your father, and convinced him to have you and Jun married by next month.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you.” rubbing the spot where she hit me. “I don’t want to rush our wedding just because I’m pregnant.”

“Are you saying you want to give birth to your child out of wedlock??!”

“It’s not like that. I’ve been thinking of telling Jun about my past.”

“Have you gone insane??! Do you understand what you’re saying right now?! If you do that, you think he’s going to marry you??!” clenching her fists. “You finally got a right man for you who can be your husband and father of your child, but you’re going to ruin everything if you do that, you’re supposed to be smart but why are you being stupid?!!”

“Because I love him and I want to be honest in our relationship. I don’t want to hide anything from him when he’s telling me everything about him. He deserves to know the truth about me and a chance to change his mind before he settles down with me.” tears falling down from my eyes as I feel the pain in my chest. “I love him so much but I’m being unfair to him because I’m hiding the truth.”

“You’re ruining your life again if you missed this opportunity to redeem yourself. That man is giving you a chance to have your own family and live a happy life, yet you want to push him away because of the truth.” grabbing my hair. “I want to smash your head at the mirror right now, to wake you up from your senses.”

“Do whatever you want with me, Mama, but please don’t hurt my baby.” preparing myself for what she’s about to do.

“You’re making your baby fatherless again.” releasing my hair. “I think I’m going to kill you if I stay here any longer, so I better leave. If you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, go ahead and get crazy. I don’t care anymore, it’s your life, do whatever you want.” walking out from the bathroom, leaving me behind.

“If he stays or leave it’s all up to him, but I won’t make him stay and live with me without knowing everything. I don’t want him to regret his decision of marrying me when he found out the truth someday. He better run while he still can.” looking at myself through the mirror.

Although Mama Rhea said that she doesn’t care anymore she still proceed with her plan of making me married Jun as soon as possible.

2 weeks later after Demeter’s church wedding and introducing Persephone to the public, Mama Rhea told the clan about my wedding on our 1st Sunday of the month gathering for February.

After playing some music as our event activity for the month, Jun and I decided to go to the Han River and have our time alone together.

“As expected from your family, they want us to get married on the 1st week of March.” Jun smiling while recollecting what happened earlier at the gathering. “And I can’t wait for this month to end.”

“Aren’t you scared? There’s a lot of rules to be follow once you become one of us and you can’t get out once you get in.” worried about him.

“Why? Am I getting killed when I broke a rule?? Also, why would I ever want an out???” chuckles. “I’m spending the rest of my life with the woman I love, that’s a dream come true to me.” holding my hand.

“Not all dreams are good to be true.” staring at the river while sitting at the passenger seat of his car. “How long since we met each other?”

“We met last year, on the 12th of January, when I came along with Jo to meet Ryan. The day I fell in love at first sight.” kissing the back of my hand. “I thought it was a simple crush at first because you’re so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself from staring at you. But as the time passes by, I keep on thinking about you and I can’t get you out of my mind no matter what I do to distract myself.”

“So, it’s been a year since we met.” glancing at him. “And you’re going to marry me when you only know me for over a year??”

“Where’s this question coming from??” looking at me in puzzlement. “I’m marrying you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I know that we’re going too fast because of the child but we’re heading in that direction anyway.”

“You only know the present me; you don’t know everything.” looking at him in the eyes as I muster my courage to tell him the truth.

“Tell me everything if you want to, but if you won’t then I’ll know it eventually since we’ve got a lot of years together.” smiling at him.

“Ugh, that smile of yours!” feeling frustrated. “Can you not smile when I’m trying to be serious here?!”

“Why? What about my smile??” laughing at me. “I’m listening on whatever you say and I always remember all the words.”

“That’s the problem you always remember everything and anything about me.” touching his face with both hands. “Maybe later … I’ll you about it later, I can’t do this now.”

“Then if we’re not going to talk can we just keep on kissing instead?”

“Yeah, let’s just kiss for now.” kissing him first.

I thought I could tell him that day about my dark past but I can’t bring myself to cause him a heartache so I just keep it with myself for the time being and just be happy with him.

I found an excuse of not telling him with his finals and will talk about it when his exams are over but I was too late to try.

Someone told him everything already before the day we met again.

Saturday morning, we’re supposed to meet up at the airport by 8am to go to Paris and celebrate the Valentine’s Day that we missed.

“You’re late!” putting my hands on my waists. “You were never late on our dates; did you have a party with your friends last night?”

“Supposedly, but I met someone last night, your brother Zeus.” Jun giving me a cold look before he glances at the people around us. “Tell them to leave, unless you want them to hear our conversation.” taking his seat at the couch in the corner of the waiting room.

“Leave us for a moment.” telling my ladies to leave the room. “What did he tell you that you don’t want to go with me anymore?” noticed that he doesn’t have his luggage.

“About 7 years ago, is this what you’ve been trying to tell me when we were at the Han River?!!” rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

“And you come here to confirm his story?” tearing up.

“Tell me it’s all lies!” slamming his hand on the armchair. “Tell me he’s lying. I believe whatever you say, so please tell me it’s not true!”

“I think you already know the answer that’s why we’re having this conversation right now.” getting down on my knees in front of him. “I’m sorry, I should’ve told you earlier.” about to hold his hand but he moved it away from me. “I understand, you must think that I’m disgusting.”

“An affair with your own brother??!” looking at me with teary eyes. “What’s worst you two had a baby! And that child …” laughing sarcastically. “I risked my life to save that child who supposed to be not existing in this world! That’s too stupid of me! I should’ve just let that child burn so there would be no living proof of the crime you two committed. How could you do this to me Hera??!”

“I’m sorry.” looking down on the floor as I couldn’t look at his face.

“I’m sorry??! That’s the only thing you can say to me right now?!” stand up and walk around me. “You made me a fool and all you can say is sorry?!!” screaming at me. “Have I wronged you to deserve this??!”

“No.” shaking my head as I try to look up to him. “You don’t deserve to be hurt, it’s my fault, it’s all on me.”

“Do you truly love me Hera??!” looking down on me at the floor.

“I do, I love you Jun, that’s why I’m having our child.” holding his hand. “Blame me all you want, I can take everything, take it all out on me.”

“If I take it all out on you, I don’t know what I might do.” pulling his hand away from me. “Let’s not see each other for the time being.” walked out from the room and shut the door loudly.

“Young Miss Hera, are you alright??!” Jumi, one of my 8 ladies, helping me up from kneeling on the floor. “Are you hurt? Did he hurt you??”

“It’s me who hurt him.” bursting out with tears as she sits me on the couch. “I should’ve told him what happened 7 years ago.”

“He found out??!” handing me a box of tissue.

“Zeus told him everything!” wiping my tears. “I’m gonna kill him if I see him.” clenching my fists. “I can’t stay here, we’ll proceed as plan, I’m going to Paris or else I might commit a murder.”

“I’ll tell them right away, Young Miss Hera.” stepping out from the room to notify the airport staff. “We can leave anytime you’re ready.”

“Let’s go.” standing up as I hold my tears back. “Be strong, Hera.”

Making my way to the plane and trying not to cry when it really hurts inside, is like I’m putting on a show to the people around me.

These ladies of mine seen we weak before and it affects them that much, so I’m trying hard not to make them worry about me.

But when I took my seat on the plane with the thought of Jun should be sitting right next to me, I couldn’t help but to let go.

I’ve been crying throughout the flight from Seoul to Paris which made my eyes swollen from over 12 hours of shedding tears.

I spent a week inside the Nevaeh mansion in Paris instead of going out for a tour as I planned, since nothing went according to plan anyway.

I arrived to Seoul the next Saturday morning, and everyone was busy preparing for a party, Zeus 24th birthday.

I was depressed for a week because of him and yet when I come back, he’s celebrating his birthday happily like he had his victory.

I held back myself long enough, not to make a scene on his party, but I had to at least greet him a happy birthday before the night ends.

“Hera, what a pleasant surprise.” Zeus opened his bedroom door for me after knocking twice. “Are you here to give my birthday present, personally?” smiling at me brightly.

“May I come in?” faking a smile.

“Of course, you’re always welcome in my room.” letting me in. “It’s been so long since you walk in at my room.”

“Still nothing has changed. Black, grey, white, all neutral colors.” looking around before I gave him a round kick to his face. “Ooh, I still can do it even if I have a baby bump.” feeling satisfy when I saw him lying on the floor. “You could’ve dodged it or stop my foot but you let me hit you on your face.”

“If I’ve done that, you’ll lose your balance and you might be the one lying on the floor not me.” spitting the blood from his mouth. “That’s a nice round kick for a pregnant woman, was that my birthday present?”

“Why are you happy to receive that gift from me??” scoffs.

“I’m happy whatever you give to me.” standing up. “Do I still have to prepare your wedding gift?” smiling arrogantly.

“Do you want to die, right now?!” looking at him with murderous intent.

“If I’m going to die in your hands, why not?” laughed at me.

“You can still laugh at this situation?!” pick the screw driver on his work table. “Smile or laugh at me again, I’ll give you a fatal blow.”

“Pfft! Hahaha, sorry, I can’t help it!” laughing out loud.

Come at him and push him to wall as I pin his neck with my left arm while pointing the screw driver at his left chest. “So, you’re not scared of me anymore when I’m angry?”

“You’re going to kill me because of that man?” giving me a serious look.

“You never want me to be happy, are you?” putting down my arm from his neck. “You want me to be miserable like you, because until now you can’t accept the fact that we’re impossible to be together.”

“It’s not impossible, we can be together if we want to, but then you fall in love with someone else. That’s what I can’t accept, you love that man and have a baby with him.” pointing at my belly. “But where is he now?? He left you after finding out your past, if he really loves you, he’ll stay no matter what but he left.”

“That’s because he’s human unlike you, you’re a demon. You always say that you love me, but that’s not love, Zeus. That’s obsession!” screaming at him. “You win, the victory is all yours, I hope your happy now that I’ll be a single parent again, thanks to you this child will be fatherless. I abandoned Hebe but I’m going to raise Jun’s child.”

“We can still runaway together, Hera. I’ll get Hebe from the orphanage and be a father to that child, we can be family.” holding my hand.

“We already are since the day you born, I’m your older sister and you’re my younger brother. Even if we runaway together with the children we can’t changed the fact that we are blood related.” pulling my hand away from him as he takes the screw driver.

“If I stab my wrist right in front of you, will you save me? But if you do, let’s elope together.” about to stab his wrist with the screw driver.

“If you do that, you’ll just hurt yourself, we both know that you love yourself more than anyone else so drop the act. I don’t love you Zeus. Even if I have to tell it to you every time I will until you accept that Jun is the one, I love now and not you. What we had before was a mistake and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, so should you for ruining my life and abandoning your own child.” walking out from his room. “Conscience, have a little bit of that will you?” slamming his door.

When I got out from his room, I saw Hestia waiting for me outside and looking at me worriedly.

“Will he commit suicide?” Hestia walking me to my room.

“I doubt it, we both know that he can’t hurt himself, he doesn’t have the guts to do it.” clinging onto her arm. “What do I do now, Tia? Jun doesn’t want to see me anymore; I miss him so much.” crying on her shoulder. “I want to go to his house and see him, but he asked me not to, he rarely tell me what to do, so I have to follow his will.”

“Just give him some time, it’s a lot for him to take. We should tell to Mama tomorrow that the wedding is off and let Papa deal with Zeus.”

“I kicked him to the face.” laughing as I cry. “Also, I hold back from murdering our own brother.”

“You did great!” laughing with me. “I must say you can manage your anger now, unlike before that you almost beaten him up to pulp.”

“That’s because I become a nurse so taking care of people gets the better of me.” wiping my tears. “Will you sleep with me tonight?”

“That’s why I’m coming with you to your room. You can tell me everything what’s on your mind. My future job is to heal people’s soul, so it’s good to have an early practice of my profession.” entering to my room. “You shouldn’t be depressed with a baby inside you.”

“I know it’s bad for the baby but I can’t help it, look what Zeus done to me.” getting into bed. “Although I see it coming with Jun when I told him, but he should’ve heard it from me first.”

“Well we can’t do anything about it now but wait for his decision.” lying beside me. “He said that he doesn’t want to see you for the time being, which means he’ll still see you sooner or later, you just have to wait.”

-End of Chapter 14