Can't Hate You

A great mom

Melissa

We were sitting in the bedroom waiting for the results.. I was shaking and afraid of getting a heart attack. A million thoughts were going through my head.. he was holding my hand but we weren't looking at each other. I tried to forget about the pain and enjoyed that he was holding my hand... it was all I could hold onto in that moment.

"I didn't.." he broke the silence and I looked into his eyes a little confused. "What?" I asked and he looked into my eyes as well. I was glad that we didn't need to scream at each other.

"I didn't cheat." he answered and I felt my stomach drop again. I didn't think he would talk about it and to be honest I didn't want to because it gave me that kind of pain that was able to kill me.. "I don't think that we-.." I wanted to tell him that it wasn't the right moment to talk about it but he interrupted me.

"Listen. I lied. I had to leave you.. or make you leave me.. because I was afraid that something could happen to you or that I couldn't protect you. But I made everything worse... I threw you right into the fire."

His deep voice was filled with sadness and I tried to understand what he was trying to say. He admitted that he lied.. I was hoping all the time that he lied but it was still hurting so much and so hard to believe him... after I went through hell these past days he needs a better excuse for this.

"Protect me of what? Why did you lie to me? You could've told me everything instead of deciding to break my heart into a million pieced."

I wasn't sure how right it was to tell him that but I did and I couldn't take it back. His grip around my hand tightened and he said "Because of Kingston. There's a lot that I can't tell you yet because even I don't understand it but please believe me when I say I never did anything that could hurt you.."

He looked at me like he was begging me to believe him. Like he was regretting what he's done.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, believe me I'm so sorry because with you tears I killed myself and I've been bleeding these past days. After you entered my life I didn't even look after another woman." he admitted and somehow I liked that..

He was so honest that I knew he meant it all and it made me feel a lot better.. he comforted me. Even if it didn't heal all the wounds and made me forget about what happened I at least knew that he didn't betray me.. and that mattered the most. I was only hurt because he hurt me in that way..

"It's my fault that you got into all this trouble, I made everything worse. I should've kept you home.." he said and I got goosebumps.. the fact that he said home.. he was right. It was my home. It was our home. The place where I belonged to..

"No.. I made everything worse.. I destroyed everything with trying to help you even tho I hated you so much..." my voice was so raw and husky from all the crying and screaming that it was difficult to speak. He looked confused.

"Trying to help me?" he asked and I looked at our hands. "I know what you think. and how wrong this all seems... but I've only been with him just because I wanted to help you. I wanted to find out as much as I could about him.."

No mater how often I told myself I wouldn't, I did it all because of him. I kept thinking go him all the time.. even if I did something out of anger.. it was all for or because of him but I couldn't blame him. He clenched his jaw..

"That's my problem. I didn't want to involve you.. but I did it without being aware of it." I couldn't tell if he was angry, disappointed or just tired.. so I squeezed his hand.

Then he added ".. but I promise you.. I swear to god I never touched any other woman's body."

My heart skipped a beat. He said it like he was afraid I wouldn't believe him.. but I was believing him.. I would always believe him.. no matter how much he would hurt me.

Elijah

I could see that her eyes were shining again. That means I could finally breathe again.

Even tho her eyes were shining again and I knew she was believing me she still seemed skeptical about it so I said. "You're the only one in my life.. and I wasn't loving someone else. I could never.."

She bit her lower lip and asked "Are you saying this because of the fact that I may be pregnant?". She was really worried and I could understand that. It would take a while to make her trust me again but I knew I could do that.

"No I'm saying it because it's the turret and I can't risk losing you more."

She slowly smiled and my heat skipped a beat because I realized how much I've missed her smile. I missed her face. I missed everything about her. I kissed her. I missed sowing her my love.. her fluffy lips against mine..

I knew she did drugs... snd maybe she was pregnant.. there was a lot that we needed to handle. I was breaking my head over everything and none of what just happened was planned. Actually I came to tell her to stay away from that bastard and come back with me. When I realized that he gave her drugs I was so done.. I wanted him to bleed but when she told me about the tiny tiny possibility of her having a tiny tiny baby in her belly.. every piece of anger inside of me disappeared and my heart stopped.

I was just worried. No matter what she has done, all I was caring was about her. I still loved her the same and I wanted to be there for her. I never really thought about having kids one day but with her I wanted babies.. the thing was that she was too young and this was too much pressure and stress for her.

It all happened too fast and damaged her. That's what I was worrying about the most.

"We can talk about these things later.. we should.." she said and I could see how nervous she was. I looked at the test that was laying next to the sink and could hear how fast she was breathing. When she was about to look at it I stopped her.

"Melissa... I want you to know that.. no matter what it's going to be or what's going to happen.. I'll love you the same. Forever. And I'll do anything for you. We'll get out of this.. As long as I'm alive, you don't need to worry about anything."

It seemed like these words meant the world to me. Instead of saying anything she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged mer tightly.. god how much I've missed this.. I wrapped my arms around her after I grabbed the test.

"I'm going to be a terrible mom.." she whispered into my ear with a deep and painful voice... that hurt. Seeing her like this hurt.. "What if..-" her voice cracked but she continued... "What if our kids are going to hate me when they row up? Or what if they-?" I cut her off.

"One day.. you're going to be a great mom because you're already worrying about a nonexistent baby.." I said smiling, looking at the test behind her back. It was negative. Not that I would be happy because we wouldn't have kids.. it was just to early and if I really wanted kids one day.. then only from her.. and nobody else..

She backed off, looked at me and wiped her tears away.

"What do you mean.."

I showed her the test and she screamed and began to cry more. "I WAS SO AFRAID!" she screamed holding onto her chest like she would be in pain. That hurt so f*****g much because I knew how much she was worrying about it.. but it made me angry at the same time. She was scared. And without that son of a b***h she wouldn't even have a reason the be afraid.

I hugged her again and buried my face into her chest..

"Don't worry... it'll get better and one day we'll have wonderful kids.."

Melissa

I chuckled... after a long time I could finally smile again.. and it was all because of him. It was amazing how he could fix everything.. I wanted him to never let me go. He meant so much to me and he was right... we were going to have wonderful kids one day because he was the only one who I wanted babies from and nobody else..

"I missed this.." I said quietly and he pulled me closer. "I missed this too.."

He just held me in his arms for a while until we left the bathroom and finally began to talk. We talked about everything. How Kingston threatened him, how he had to lie, what I've done after I left and what he's done..

He wasn't even angry with me. He was sad and so was I... but he was so f*****g angry at Kingston what I can understand because what I was feeling towards him was nothing else than hate.

I was glad that we fixed everything because I needed this. He came in the right moment because if I would've done the pregnancy test without him I probably would've fallen apart.

He told me that everything would be alright. That was all I wanted.

"Babygirl.. you can't imagine how much I want you right now.. and how much I missed you...but I have one last thing to do." he said and kissed my hand. I looked at him very confused. I was worried. I didn't want trouble anymore. I wanted to live with him in peace.. "What?" I asked. He cupped my face. "I can't tell you that.. but I promise you I'll get you back home as soon as everything is over.."

I nodded and he leaned his forehead against mine. Even though I was already excited about going back home I was worried about how long it would take him.. I wanted to go home right now but I knew it wasn't possible so I needed to be patient.

"Promise me that you'll be careful with whatever you do?" I said and it sounded more like a question. He nodded and closed his eyes and so did I..

"I promise.."

Elijah

Of course I couldn't tell her that I was going to destroy Kingston. I couldn't wait and there was no need for a plan anymore. I wasn't going to waste another second. f**k him and f**k the missions. I was going to kill him. Literally killed him. He scared her. Gave her drugs. Gave her alcohol. Made her believe she would be wanting all of this and wanted her in his team..

I kissed her nose and she smiled. I was ready to die for that smile The best thing about her was.. no matter what happened between us... after a long war she always gave me the same look. That look.. like she couldn't see anything else than me.. like he would die for me.. like she would want me to know that I was her everything... like she was endless in love..and only she was able to look like that.. just like the way she was looking at cotton candy. That made me laugh.

Melissa

He was my cotton candy. I just couldn't get enough of him. I could be staring at him for a hundred years.

"I'll leave now.. but I'll call you later." he said and stood up. I hated that he had to leave but I knew it would be over soon and I would never have to leave him again. I nodded again and stood up as well.

Even if he didn't tell me where he was going I was trusting him and I knew he would handle this. "I'll be waiting here for you.." I said and that made him smile.. I was ready to die for that smile.

I felt so much better.. just his smile, his skin on mine... his voice.. made everything better. The fact that he was here and we were together again.. that he didn't cheat on me and that I could go back home again.. made me so happy that everything earlier seemed so unreal..

I was asking myself all the time where I would be right now without him. If he wouldn't have taken me with him while I was standing on that bridge.. if I would've just walked home.. but I didn't. I was here with him right now again and I wasn't complaining.. I just smiled with the thought of how we met..

"What?" he asked still smiling and I bit my lip.

"Nothing.." I chuckled and he hugged me again before he left...