Can't Hate You

Memories

Blake

I let her sleep a while before I was going to take her back home because she needed that rest. She needed a tiny break. I wasn't tired. Not even a bit although it was already really really late. I kept thinking.. and thinking.. and realized that I was never going to understand this world.

Moon

I couldn't even enjoy the party.. my mood was killed so it ended very fast. The people were gone.. only Skylar and I were left and to be honest that was so much better after everything that happened.. but it was still amazing. I still enjoying it and I really didn’t give her the fault for it.. it was obvious that she didn’t expect Dean to come..

We helped the maids to clean up a little bit and sat down on the sofa. I felt exhausted and unmotivated.

I started playing with Skylar’s hair, trying to distract myself. Her hair was so smooth and soft that it made me calm down.

“She'll be back soon. Don't worry about her. I think Blake is a good guy.” she said trying to comfort me.. I sighed. “Yeah. I know..” I said and leaned in. She turned around to me and our noses touched. She smiled. “Everything will get better.” she whispered with a soft smile. I closed my eyes and tried to not be so moody. I knew she would come back.. and we were going to talk about everything...

“I'm sorry.. we ruined our party.” I said and she hugged me. I pulled her closer. “No one ruined anything. I really had fun. Things like these happen at parties! And we both know exactly that we both are going to celebrate it differently later anyway...” she said biting her lower lip. I had to smirk.

The doorbell rang. I stood up as if a lightning hit me. My heart stopped and I hoped it was Sun. One of the maids opened the door and Skylar stood up as well. Blake entered with Sun on his arms.. she was sleeping. I took a deep breath. At lest she was safe.

He seemed really worried when he walked towards us and I hoped that she was alright. I wasn't sure what to say and he didn’t have to bring her upstairs. I knew he was strong enough to do that but I just didn't want to take it for granted and I wanted her right in front of my eyes.

“You can lay her down here.” I said pointing at the sofa. He let her down very carefully and put down her arms that were wrapped around his neck down too. He was very gentle and quiet. I felt Skylar's hands around my arm. She smiled at me. I smiled back. It felt like we were proud parents. Then he turned around to us and I noticed that he seemed a little more relieved.

“Thank you.. what happened?” I asked him and he ran his hand through his hair. “No need to thank me.. and I think it would be better if she would explain that to you. It would be wrong if I talk about it without her permission.” he said and I understood it. It was probably something she didn’t want to talk about. He turned around to her for a second and then back to me.

“I'll go now and call her tomorrow.” he said quietly. I nodded slowly. He waved at us and left. Just like Skylar said.. he was a good guy.. nothing like Dean. He was the opposite. After he left I slowly walked towards Sun. She looked so tired and so sad.. my heart broke.

I wanted to kill Dean.. I already planned it and this time.. I wouldn't care about the conditions, the location or anything else. Nothing was going to stop me because I had enough of him. I didn’t care. Neither about her feelings.. nor about getting in trouble in anyway.

Dean

I was sitting in my car, on the hill that Sun and I made out on before we had our first night.. The place where we could see the whole city from, next to the Hollywood sign. I smiled with the thought of her.. but then got sad again. The pain in my chest synched with the pain in my head again and everything started spinning again. It was more anger than sadness because of how I stupid I was.. I closed my eyes and leaned back.

These thoughts in my head were killing me. I just wanted my brain to shut up and the pain the disappear. I was so close to f**k everything and drive to the hospital because I couldn’t take this constant pain anymore. I wanted to know where it was coming from and what it was. Maybe it was something serious that I should worry about or get checked.

I leaned my head against the wheel trying to rest a little bit, in the hope that different positions would make the pain go away. I took a few deep breaths and opened the window to get some fresh air. I knew that it wasn’t a migraine. It was something else and it was making me crazy. My head was going to explode. I took a deep breath and held it because the pain got worse in that second and suddenly it felt like my brain froze. I was paralyzed. I stopped breathing and everything went black.

My brain was trying to catch a signal.. seeing blurred pictures. Pictures.. images that I’ve already seen before... that I’ve seen before in my life and not in dreams or daydreams. Real pictures, feelings, thoughts.

My heart stopped and I saw her.. I saw her.. her blonde hair.. her pointy noise, her soft, plump lips and her big eyes. Her smile and her ponytail.. that cute little girl on her first day of elementary school..

I couldn't breathe.. move... my blood was pumping into and through my veins way too fast.. my heart started racing.. I closed my eyes again with the thought that I was dying or getting a heart attack.. Then I opened them again and it hit me like a truck..

I already believed it.. I felt it but I couldn’t understand it. I couldn’t get myself to remember.. but I did.. and the pain disappeared.

Blake

I went back home. I was extremely tired and all I wanted to do was kill Dean, sleep, wake up and talk to Sun...

No matter if they wanted it or not.

Kingston

I was messed up. I asked myself what they both were doing.. what Sun was doing. What she was feeling.. what was happening. I hated that I couldn’t do anything and didn’t even know what was going on.

Suddenly I heard someone scream.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” that rough.. deep voice. I stood up from my chair. All of sudden the door opened like a storm wanted to enter. I furrowed my eyebrows totally confused and looked at Dean who built himself up in front of me as if he was going to beat the hell out of me. Who did he think he was? Was he thirsty for life? He was breathing heavily. I could see the veins on his neck and his arms. Something happened.. I was going to kill him if he messed up..

“Why are you screaming?” I asked walking towards him totally calmly. His eyes.. something was wrong.. they looked like they did back then..

Dean

“I remember everything.” I said breathing heavily, trying to calm down.. but seeing him made me go crazy. Seeing him, remembering everything and knowing what happened.. made me really go insane. I wanted to freak out and go psycho. My voice was so rough.. as rough as it’s never been before. He seemed confused but I could see the anxiety in his eyes.. he was showing it off.. I knew him very well. Even better than I thought..

“What are you talking about?” he asked.. his voice was quiet.. he was inpatient.. anxious.. mad.. I laughed because he still had the nerve to act like nothing happened.

“YOU DESTROYED ME! YOU DAMAGED ME! YOU WANTED ME TO FORGET!” I screamed and approached him. I sounded like a screaming lion. I was out of breath because the fire in my lungs made it impossible for me to breathe. My shaking hands were close to break his neck.. ever since I remembered everything.. everything changed. I changed. Nothing was going to be the same anymore and I wasn’t going to let him win.

“But I.. I remember everything... every single second, minute and hour that you wanted to erase from my brain..” I continued. I wasn't screaming anymore but my words where scaring him. I could see that. Even if he didn’t look at me differently.

“Dean you can be glad that I'm not punishing you for what you-..” I cut him off because he didn’t have the damn right to do this s**t with me. Especially not now. He was still talking bullshit. He wanted to scream but he was still too scared. He new that I already won. He knew that it was all over. “I can't believe how you can still act like you don't know what I mean..” I was shaking. He rolled his eyes.

“God damn.. I HATE YOU KINGSTON!” I screamed not being able to hold myself back. The anger inside of me was in charge. I wanted to cry because I was so pissed off and hurt.. so destroyed and mad.. his jaw dropped because I called him like that for the first time. It was weird for me as well. He slapped me immediately. I laughed. He thought he could hurt me like that but that was nothing.

“You know exactly that you can't hurt me anymore. Not after everything that happened.. you taught me to how to stand the pain, how do you expect me to get hurt now?” he was a psycho and because of him I was one too..

“You can't hide the truth anymore.. I know.. that I was born and raised to love her..”