Can't Hate You

I hate you

Melissa

I was drowning. It felt like I got thrown into all my miserable tried to survive somehow and do everything right. It felt like I just faces my defeats.. and my defeats were cold.. really cold.. just like my soul. I lost again. With doing nothing. This time it wasn't my fault.. it was because of some messed up freak who made me so angry that I could feel my whole body burning so the water wasn't that cold anymore at all..

I couldn't remember the last time I was that angry and disappointed. But it was my own fault.. wait no it wasn't.. who would just push a girl into cold water at night and just leave? What f*****g asshole would do that?

I got out of the water and I was freezing. To be honest it was less worse in the water. The wind made me almost freeze and turn into ice. We were in the middle of autumn and I was in the in the middle of a war which I was going to win this time..

How could he do that to me? I knew he was mean and an asshole.. he said it by himself.. but I didn't expect this. Especially because of something so stupid. So many thoughts were running through my head and I hated everything..

I don't know why he did that.. and I didn't want to know it. I didn't care if he was secretly jealous, if he just wanted to hurt me, if he was stupid or anything else. I just want revenge. I couldn't understand how his brain was working. He wanted me to help him and he admitted that he was only using me.. so why wasn't he nice? Did he really think I'd forget everything and just keep coming back to him.

So I walked 'home'. Of course I took my shoes off. There wasn't a dry spot on my body. I could've finally died but instead of that, I was walking back to his mansion, freezing... shaking..crying of anger and hate. Why did he safe me when he just wanted to try to kill me anyway? He really left. He didn't even wait and watch me to enjoy it. He really didn't care.. he just left me here not asking himself how I would get back, what I could do or what would happen.. What a disgusting fraud.

With my shaking jaw which was trying to clench I got this crazy idea out of nowhere..

I would help him to rob the bank.. and tell the police afterwards. I didn't care if I was going to get arrested as well but this time he was going to drown with me...

Of course I wasn't going to do the bank rob with him. I was just going to give him the plans and I didn't think that the police would believe someone who's been doing illegal s**t instead of a seventeen girl who was just being used for his plans because she was the daughter of the CEO.

I was so ready to do that. I was going to plan everything with every detail in my head and then I'd make him fall.. and Charlie was right.. he was a bad influence... he was a sociopath and a really good actor..

I wasn't going to go back home. Never. But I was going to leave after that. No matter where...

Even if he punched Matt for me.. or himself.. he didn't have the right to do this.. His payback was harder than I thought but I bet he wasn't ready for mine.

As I arrived I looked at the mansion from the outside and I wanted to f*****g burn that s**t down. I knocked on the door very aggressively and Sam opened it. "Oh my god! Honey what happened to you?" she asked me eyes wide open but I didn't respond. I just walked in past her really fast and heard her saying "Miranda bring her a towel!" I stopped in the middle totally out of breath still shaking..

"Where. is. he?" I asked with a shaking voice. I felt like I was going to explode.. he couldn't just hide like a little kid.. he couldn't expect m to not find him... "WHERE IS HE?"

"Mr. Dalton? He's in his office." she answered totally perplexed and shocked. Miranda came with a towel and wanted to wrap it around me but I shook her off and threw the towel away.

"DALTON!" I screamed looking up waiting for him to come out.. and I could feel the anger coming up. it wasn't anger.. it was fire.. it was hate.

"DALTON I KNOW YOU CAN f*****g HEAR ME!" I screamed shaking and almost crying.. within seconds I could finally see him.. he was standing on the railing and looking down at me.. "You made it.. took you a while." he said and I swear to god I was so done. I was so ready to burn everything down.

He walked down the stairs and stopped in front of me. the girls felt the air tensing and decided to leave us alone. They were going to hear everything anyway so it didn't really matter.

"You.." I was still shaking. He turned around and looked down at me. His jaw dropped.

"You... are the biggest bastard I've ever seen in my life." I took a few steps towards him. It was time to tell get out of myself and show him that he couldn't mess with everybody because otter than him, some people had hearts...

"Melissa-.." he started but I slapped him as hard as I could so hard that I could feel my hand burning. I hoped his cheek was burning too. He wasn't surprised.

"Look at me.. look what you've done.." I said and he didn't even seem affected. That made me so aggressive.

"You're so f*****g annoying and you don't know how to treat a girl! It's no wonder you're so desperate and lonely because no girl would volunteer to stay with you. That's why you have to force them." I was shaking so much I thought I would collapse. I knew I couldn't take it any longer and I was ready to lose it.

"Do you know what you've done? Incase you incompetent disgusting stupid ass don't remember. You pushed me into the water and left! What a great move!" I said clapping like earlier and laughing because I probably lost my mine. I pushed him and he took a step back..

"You were mean. I was kind. I tried to please you AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!« I started screaming. "I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU!"

"I BEGAN TO LIKE YOU BELIEVING YOU'D HAVE A HEART AND A REASON TO KEEP ME HERE AND I FELT SAFE NEXT TO YOU BUT YOU JUST-." my voice cracked. It was already husky enough. He said nothing and kept looking into my eyes like he was challenging me... He knew I was right with every word I said... but he didn't care.

"YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO MAKE SOMEONE FEEL LIKE THEY BELONG TO YOU AND THAT IN SUCH A SHORT TIME! HOLLYWOOD SHOULD SIGN YOU, YOU AWESOME ACTOR!"

I was freaking out and there was so much I had to say but I couldn't because I felt hurt. It#s not that he just pushed me into the water.. it's that he left.. that he left me on my own and had the guts to tell me that it took me a while..

"I COULD'VE DIED! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? HOW STUPID ARE YOU! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A JEALOUS TEEN YOU p***y!« that was true. Usually I would be afraid to call him like that or scream at him at all because I didn't know what he was capable to do but in that moment I didn't really care and I wanted him to know what I could do..

"I'M NOT EVEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND! YOU CAN'T BE MAD AT ME FOR LIKING SOMEONE ELSE! YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE ME! WE BOTH KNOW THAT WE HATE EACH OTHER BUT MY HATE TOWARDS YOU IS ENDLESS!" I never screamed that loud in my life just like I did as I screamed 'endless'. Then I took a deep breath trying to stop my throat burning and I realized that I was crying... what I hated so much.. especially in front of him,, because of him.

"And keep one thing in mind.. I'm not one of your bitches, you f**k and leave then..« I said not being able to cry anymore. My voice was almost gone and it was hurting.

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM!" he screamed out of nowhere and caught me off guard. I was shocked and confused for a second... we both gone silent until he said "You're not one of my bitches..." I wasn't sure what he was trying to say with that but I was too mad to think about it. But the it hit me.. what he said.. he couldn't mean something good.. he said by himself that every moment in which he was good.. he was acting..

"Ohh.. now you're afraid that I'm so angry at you and hate you so much that I won't help you.. that's why you're trying to indirectly claim I mean something to you.." I said eyes widened like I was shocked.. but it just showed me how disgusting he really was.. and I wasn't stupid.

"But don't worry..I want revenge on my mom more than you want the money.. I won't do it for you. You mean nothing to me." I said just like he did earlier when we ran away and I asked him why he's done what he's done. He furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his jaw. I had enough of that.

"f**k you Elijah Dalton.«

I turned around and left. I walked upstairs and took a quick -warm- shower, changed my clothes and grabbed my stuff. I put on a black hoodie which was going to keep me warm as well and black jeans. My moves were fast and as soon as I got ready I rushed outside -luckily he wasn't standing there anymore- with the hope of never seeing him again... well at least for now.. I still had a plan.. but maybe I didn't even want that.. I wanted to say so many bad things to him.. call him the worst names ever.. you can't even imagine.

It was late in the night and I was walking down the hill with my hoodie feeling tears coming back with every step of mine.

And I thought about how everything began... how I came off that bridge... how he took me home with himself.. how often I teased him, how he looked at me sometimes, that there was something that kept making me coming back to him... and I was right.. there was one thing that made me keep coming back to him. something I had to do. I had to go back to him and destroy him as fast as I could.. I couldn't allow myself to leave now because I was angry.

All these things that made me feel this type towards him.. happened in such a short time.. and every second I tried to believe he wouldn't be so cold and heartless but he was.. there was no time to take a step back.. even if I felt like I knew him my entire life.. I didn't know s**t about him and it was going to stay like that.. no matter how mysterious and interesting he was, he was always going to b a dark shadow in my eyes.

My plan... he would land in jail if it would work out. He would never get out if I could prove other things that he's done. That was what I was praying for as I walked back. Even if what he's done wasn't a reason to take everything away from him.. I just needed to make someone awful like him pay. Wait, I didn't even need a reason. I could go psycho like him because he didn't have a reason for anything either. Neither for why he saved me, nor for why he pushed me into that water..

I walked in and Miranda looked totally confused. I threw my bag on the ground and screamed

"I HATE YOU!" as loud as I could not knowing where he was... but I knew that he heard it. I went to the backyard and sat down on the place we were sitting earlier today... were everything seemed so easier.. I pulled my knees closer to myself again and began to cry.. I didn't wanted that but I couldn't stop my tears.

If he hated me that much.. why wouldn't he just let me go? Why did he even brought me to his f*****g home? Why did he introduce me to his friends? He didn't know about my mom being the CEO before I told him.. so why did he want to bring me here.. and what was wrong with him? Why was he acting the way he was acting? So many questions but no answers..